An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Sometimes when I laugh, a real laugh, not a big ol’ belly laugh but a tickled to the core laugh, I sound just like my mother. And it’s interesting that while being delighted and pleased that I hear her inside me, I also ache just a little. 

Jill, my good friend, and I FaceTimed today. Not that I needed it but it reminded me of just why I love her so much. We used to meet for lunch once a week unless one of us was out of town.  She got me through the terrible disaster that my marriage turned out ot be, kept me sane when there was nothing sane within the walls of our home and told me I needed to get myself to a counselor (and she was right). I was by her side as she spent years trying to get a diagnoses for her daughter who was abused and neglected as an infant before Jill adopted her. Years to find out why she never slept, why she scratched, why she was hyper-sexual from a young age. The teen years were the worst and it took its toll. I was relieved when they sent her to a special school for extraordinary cases (unfortunately, she was kicked out but the year break was a godsend). Jill and I would meet and just bolster each other up, letting the other know we were in their corner. We would laugh at the most ridiculous a...

The Boy Scout and I are in the middle of the World According to Garp by John Irving. It’s my first Irving novel and I’ve never seen the movie so I had no preconceived notions of what to expect. I’m finding it far more than just enjoyable, it’s hilarious. The man, using his deep, beautiful voice, is reading to me last night. He, with his head at the top of the bed next to the reading lamp and me, with my head at the foot of the bed, playing a game of solitaire on my iPad while he reads. Not uncommon for me to be lulled to sleep by the sound of his voice so the Solitaire keeps me wide-awake during the readings. Smack dab in the middle of the book we are reading a short story by Garp that he has given his wife to review. The story is about an accident Garp hears near his home. He approaches the scene and finds a rather large man still in his seat, drunk enough that he seems unaware that he is hanging upside down. At some point he starts talking to a bowling ball, calling it Roger. ...

This morning I woke up and felt grateful.  First thing, right off the bat. What a change from 15 weeks ago. Only 15 weeks have passed but the whole world has changed for me. I have felt the lowest in my life and, very likely, the most peaceful in my life at different points in the last 15 weeks. Not the most joyous, but that will come. For now, peaceful is amazing. What I have learned is that it is up to me. I am the one who decides what today is going to be like. All those extenuating circumstances??? Everyone (yes, EVERYONE) has those. Some more than others but they are still there. Those circumstances won't be stopping me. One of my dearest friends has helped me so much through this terrible situation. Before the "Horrible Day" when everything was revealed, we used to laugh at lunch and joke about which one of us had it worst. The key word here is not "worst", it is "laugh". Her beautiful daughter was going through some major issues. She may...