An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Forgive me for... wanting you to fix the discomfort I am feeling vomiting out my truth, in the hopes that you might have words of wisdom to take these feelings away, never once considering that you would now carry a burden that is not yours to carry not owning and dealing like the emotionally healthy person I so desire to be throwing my anxiety on anyone who might be close by, guilt by proximity having an inner child that needed more than the inner parent had to give, so she looked outside

I love me some evangelicals! At one point,  that was my life, albeit with some serious doubts. Many of our friends from early in my marriage were of that ilk. Many of my current friends are too.  That’s not me anymore, if it ever really was. I’ve changed a lot. But now I have to wonder…..are these people that I love Christians first and then Americans or is it the other way around? Because I hear a lot of rhetoric that tells me, in reality, they are Americans first. It seems they’re able to set aside the core Christian values when it bumps up against our border. What has happened to: Love your neighbor as yourself. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Let others see your good deeds so that your actions glorify God. Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Even the Old Testament speaks of giving aid to the exiled and the persecuted refugee.  Nowhere does it say, “Except when brown.”  Do they even remember that he...

“All the love, all the dead, all the people we've known. They are the rivers that feed our sea of souls. If we refuse to remember them, that sea will dry up too.”  ―  Nina George ,  The Little Paris Bookshop I like the idea that even the people that have let me down have helped to make me who I am. Learning to  forgive them for their failures and mistakes and find the things in our interactions that have caused me to grow and mature, allow me to  be gentle with my own failures and recognize my true worth. It's a daily practice and also allows me to walk through this life more peaceable. I'll take it.

IN THE LAST TWO YEARS I: Sold my home Moved twice Bought a house Slept alone Ended my marriage Fell in love Let go of all my children Installed a garbage disposal and light fixture Gave up a dream Learned to forgive Found a church home Developed empathy Became a better friend I STILL NEED TO: Heal my soul Learn to trust Let go of fear Walk closer to God Be a better friend Have faith that it'll all be OK