An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

This morning I am looking into applying for jobs. When my surgery is over, when I can hear, I will get a job. I will support myself. Opening the Indeed app, my heart drops, the multitudes of job listings, the page after page of positions open, has now declined to three. Not three pages, three jobs. How, in this bloody damn city, can this old gal find a job when I am up against people 1/2 my age or more? How does a wrinkled broad with hearing aids and age spots compete? In just seconds I went from hopeful to feeling heavy. But it’s only a moment. And moments aren’t forever. And I’m not competing. I am me.  Onward.  Full time with health benefits would be lovely. If you speak to the universe can you put in a good word?

My kids and I have a place we can share the little things going on in our life’s. It’s an app called Discord. It can be hard to find time for a phone call that you know will take more than 1/2 hour but in Discord we share our hobbies, animals, hikes, passions, moves, jobs and boring life moments with the people that care the most.  I was sharing with them my feelings about job hunting for the first time in 39 years.  In response, I got a lot of love! The other day I was FaceTiming with my youngest. It’s lovely to be able to connect long distance. The interesting thing about FaceTime is that you see both the person you are talking to and yourself. It's so odd to see who you are (or appear to be) to them. When I am inside myself fully, which is very often with my kids, I feel like I am 30ish. But as I talked to her and saw myself too, I realized that what she sees is an older woman with a lot of wrinkles. Funny how my skins feels smooth on my body but is far from it on the outsi...