Boundaries-Get Them
Boundaries; they are healthy things. So why do so many of us have trouble with putting them in place and keeping them? Why did we learn, early on, that it is not ok to speak up and say I need this or that is not acceptable? According to Darlene Lancer, JD, MFTD, MFT, Boundaries are learned. If yours weren’t valued as a child, you didn’t learn you had them. I can't say whether my boundaries were valued but I do know I was one of 6, with a busy mom and an almost non-existent father. It was what it was and it was all I knew. I know that my lack of understanding boundaries deeply affected my parenting. I wish I had done things differently but I did what was logical to me at the time. What I have learned is that a boundary is a beautiful thing. It helps prevent the building of resentments, which can easily harm new or long term partnerships. But why is saying "no" so hard? "One of our most fundamental needs is for social connection and a feeling ...