An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Over time, little by little, the ACA promises are coming true for me. Promise #4  - Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us. Slowly, as healing takes place, as I learn to love and value who I am, Promise#4 comes true. A life long desire to connect and a life long confusion as to what was wrong with me that prevented connection, left me feeling rudderless. I could not figure out why other people where able to make friends...not acquaintances but true friends, the kind you do life with, the kind that you help each other through the hard times, and I remained fairly friendless.  I would try but, more often than not, it turned out to be really strange people who lacked boundaries or were extremely controlling or overtly judgmental.  These days I do not feel rudderless but nor do I feel desperate for companionship. I am developing a few solid friendships with people that are pretty healthy themselves. I'm not looking for perfection but I am staying away fro...

Gossip is a bad habit, yet many do it on a daily basis. I've been know to seek out the false intimacy of a juicy bit to share. I never like myself afterwards but would keep it going with the best of them. Learning to build real intimacy with people I trust has helped quell that need. I feel proud when it's going on and don't take part. Lunch with a dear friend the other day reminded me how much I have changed. A mutual friend came up in discussion, then a suggestive comment was thrown out, then an outright worm loaded hook waiting for me to take the bait. I smiled, redirected, then had to redirect two more times. I'm getting pretty competent at zigging and zagging through the landmines. Team Linda 10 points. I may eventually prove to be a boring lunchmate for some. That's ok, I can handle that. It is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks!