An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

It's 5 am and I've been up for awhile but it's OK, I got some decent sleep. I'm ready to start a new day with a positive attitude.  I had a small epiphany yesterday morning while basking in a light stream of steamy hot water; a warm shower always helps me think things through. The day before, while chatting with the Boy Scout, he mentioned to me how I will eventually look back and regret the time I wasted worrying and fretting about his employment or lack thereof. Musing over this statement, it occurred to me that I spent a lot of my life just that way. I allowed fear to overwhelm or put a damper on moments that simply needed to happen, that had to be experienced and how living all those moments in fear wasted precious time.  I believe I have mentioned before of the incredible experience I had when, as a family, we loved our mother to heaven’s door. Losing her was the greatest loss I have experienced and yet I didn't live in fear for those last 5 or so hour...

February 28 in the Little Blue Book – One Day at a Time in Al-Anon We are advised to detach our minds and emotions from the problems created by alcoholism. This does not mean detachment from the alcoholic, who needs our loving understanding. When I learn to disentangle myself from a difficulty, it will be easier to think it through. I will remind myself to pause and analyze. This will keep me from impulsive decisions and give me time to devise constructive action. Each time this happens, it may seem a small conquest, but each helps me build a serene stability. The words from One Day at a Time do not always speak to me in a compelling way but we are taught, in Al-Anon, to take what we can and leave the rest. I do not currently have an addict / alcoholic in my daily life. That does not mean that I have ceased being an Al-Anon. I gathered tools as a child that helped me cope with the life I had been given. They were useful and made my life more manageable at the time. Those to...

What? Stop worrying and fretting about all the things going on around me?  I'll keep trying to have the faith in a great big God that has got matters in hand.

Breathe, don't react Close my eyes and detach Stay on my side of the road, Live and let live Yessiree, moving forward.

Don't Take Anything Personally is one the the Four Agreements, a book I have grown to love. So important to do, especially for us Al-Anons who often think that if our alcoholic or addict loved us enough they would stop their destructive behavior. I love the idea that the actions of the people we care about have nothing to do with us.  It frees us up from the crazy emotions and allows us to step back and decide where we will place our boundaries. Is that behavior in line with the way I want to live life? Are changes necessary in order to be peaceful and content? Detaching from the behavior is a gift from the program. Knowing that we will be OK no matter what we decide is also an incredible gift. Talking the Al-Anon talk is so much easier than walking it. Daily struggles send us back to the old way of doing things. Keep working your way back.