Killing Hitler - An American Myth!

How could I resist a title like that -- The Man Who Killed Hitler and the The Bigfoot is a movie that demands that it be seen. and requires that whatever you expect, you must anticipate surprise and possible disappointment. With the great Sam Elliot, one of the few actors of our time who is almost always larger than the parts he plays, this is a 2018 movie that was only ever going to be so bad regardless of what else anybody other than Elliot did. He has delivered in every movie I've ever seen him in and that made me feel safe in trusting my imagination to this film.

Get it and see it. I highly recommend it.

Now for those who have already seen the movie let me continue.

The yarn (I use that word a lot but never more accurately) here is divided fragmented in time. We begin with a weary old warrior named Calvin Barr who lives alone and mired in regrets and oddly some degree of guilt. He was commissioned by his country in World War II to infiltrate the Nazi territories, find the real Adolph Hitler and assassinate him. He did and we follow along as the young Calvin (Aiden Turner) completes his mission. But we also see him leave behind the love of his life, hesitate to make her his wife and then lose her for all time in that way so many people leave our lives, they just go away. Nothing of his life between that spectacular secret mission and the modern day is really revealed save a few comments between Barr and his brother, a local barber who has had a regular life (whatever that means). We get feelings but not details, not really.

It is into this somber environment that two agents appear, one from the United States and the other from Canada and they say they need the help of Calvin Barr yet again. There is a mission he is uniquely qualified for because he is among the very very few with the training, talent and blood immunity to confront the Bigfoot. The creature is alone and sick, and that illness is threatening to spill across all borders as a plague they world has rarely seen and which civilization would be hard pressed to survive. With the nuclear option at the ready and looming in the distance Calvin journeys beyond the firewalls meant to keep out the curious and into the depths of the Canadian wilderness, to find Bigfoot and put it down.

But what's the movie about? As it turns out it ain't really about Hitler and it ain't really about Bigfoot, it's about what it requires of men and women to deal with the monsters in the world, monsters rearing up from the bowels of civilization or leaping forth from the depths of the natural world. It's about that what it happens to people when they face cold reality and still must find a means to progress forward. It's a love story too of course, but it's a heartbroken love story and how a person must come to terms with time after lost opportunity. It's about what's real and what's myth.

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True Monsters Stories?

I am an unabashed fan of the 1972 monster-mash The Legend of Boggy Creek, the every stylish and oddly effective saga of a "Bigfoot"-like creature in the depths of the swamps and creeks of Fouke, Arkansas. This is a real myth in a real place, so the film has a gritty quasi-documentary feel which adds some verisimilitude to a what would have been other wise a pretty rough and tumble affair. I cannot really describe the movie accurately, it's a blend of legend reprise, folk singing, melodrama, and horror. The most potent sequence concerns two families sharing a house near Boggy Creek which is repeatedly haunted and attacked by the Fouke Monster. I well remember seeing this in the theaters and the scene in which a hairy arm reaches into the house to try and snag an unwary family member terrified me then and still gives a chill. I was able to finally get this on DVD a few years ago and have enjoyed it more than a few times since. Likely will again after I finish this post. 

What I was never able to see was Charles B. Pierce's official sequel titled Boggy Creek II and the Legend Continues. This movie is made in 1985 a decade and more after the original and after two unofficial sequels I have not seen and cannot comment upon. But at no point does this movie even remotely capture a mote of the real eerie sense of dread that oozes out of the original. This is not a faux-documentary but a ham-handed attempt at a straight adventure tale which has a professor and three students try and locate the creature. The director Pierce takes the lead role and frankly neither his acting nor demeanor are not up to the task. Instead we have what might be a comedic parody of an adventure. In the first movie the Fouke Monster is hinted at and glimpsed in bits and parts letting our imaginations make up a beast far more frightening than anything the moviemakers might've created. In this one the witless band of monster hunters find creatures around every corner almost literally, and we get good looks at them much to our dismay. I recommend the movie for laughs and for the very handsome and healthy college girls who join the band of hunters. 

Charles Pierce's real sequel to The Legend of Boggy Creek is actually the 1976 movie The Town that Dreaded Sundown. This is another documentary style movie in which we follow police of Texarcana, Texas as they attempt with little success to capture a serial killer who sadistically attacks young lovers in remote locations. This too is based on real accounts of a real "Phantom Killer" and feels it, showcasing the chilling touch of the real horror that human beings can bring upon one another without the need for the supernatural assistance. The depiction of the attacks is gruesome and grueling at times to watch, despite too much reliance on day-for-night shooting. Ben Johnson is the star and he's fine as a Texas Ranger doing his utmost to stop the villain. He is joined by Andrew Prine (star of every other movie made in the 70's) as doughty deputy of the town of bordering Arkansas. Dawn Wells of Gilligan's Island fame is a very believable victim. One odd aspect is the director Pierce in an acting role in the film as a comedy-relief cop, an odd addition to a movie in desperate need of its tension.

I can heartily recommend all three of these movies, the first and last for the effective storytelling and the second for its unintentional comedic results.  Now to find that copy of The Legend of Boggy Creek.

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The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then The Bigfoot!

How could I resist a title like that -- The Man Who Killed Hitler and the The Bigfoot is a movie that demands that it be seen. and requires that whatever you expect, you must anticipate surprise and possible disappointment. With the great Sam Elliot, one of the few actors of our time who is almost always larger than the parts he plays, this is a movie that was only ever going to be so bad regardless of what else anybody other than Elliot did. He has delivered in every movie I've ever seen him in and that made me feel safe in trusting my imagination to this film.

Get it and see it. I highly recommend it.

Now for those who have already seen the movie let me continue.

The yarn (I use that word a lot but never more accurately) here is divided fragmented in time. We begin with a weary old warrior named Calvin Barr who lives alone and mired in regrets and oddly some degree of guilt. He was commissioned by his country in World War II to infiltrate the Nazi territories, find the real Adolph Hitler and assassinate him. He did and we follow along as the young Calvin (Aiden Turner) completes his mission. But we also see him leave behind the love of his life, hesitate to make her his wife and then lose her for all time in that way so many people leave our lives, they just go away. Nothing of his life between that spectacular secret mission and the modern day is really revealed save a few comments between Barr and his brother, a local barber who has had a regular life (whatever that means). We get feelings but not details, not really.

It is into this somber environment that two agents appear, one from the United States and the other from Canada and they say they need the help of Calvin Barr yet again. There is a mission he is uniquely qualified for because he is among the very very few with the training, talent and blood immunity to confront the Bigfoot. The creature is alone and sick, and that illness is threatening to spill across all borders as a plague they world has rarely seen and which civilization would be hard pressed to survive. With the nuclear option at the ready and looming in the distance Calvin journeys beyond the firewalls meant to keep out the curious and into the depths of the Canadian wilderness, to find Bigfoot and put it down.

But what's the movie about? As it turns out it ain't really about Hitler and it ain't really about Bigfoot, it's about what it requires of men and women to deal with the monsters in the world, monsters rearing up from the bowels of civilization or leaping forth from the depths of the natural world. It's about that what it happens to people when they face cold reality and still must find a means to progress forward. It's a love story too of course, but it's a heartbroken love story and how a person must come to terms with time after lost opportunity. It's about what's real and what's myth.

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Dojo Classics - Yang #5

Yang Volume 2, Number 5 is dated November, 1974 and was published by Charlton Publications Inc. The cover is by Warren Sattler who is also the artist on the interiors. Joe Gill offers up the script with George Wildman in the saddle as editor.

"The Beast is Waiting" begins when Yang is challenged by a murderous gunman and Yin Li the deceitful daughter of Chao Ku, Yang's arch enemy and the man who murdered his father. Yang throws an axe to disarm the gunman and then leaps and overpowers Yin Li who vows again to kill him. He embraces her and they share a passionate kiss, after which he walks away from her. She threatens him again and shoots repeatedly but harmlessly at his feet as he leaves.

The action shifts to the train of A.J.Hartley, the unscrupulous railroad magnate who uses the coolies supplied by Chao Ku to build his line. He is enjoying some drinks with the slaver and opium dealer Chao Ku and Captain Keegan, formerly of a clipper ship Yang burned a few issues previously. They share their hatred of Yang and enjoy the spectacle of the beast who is caged in a special car. It is a shaggy man-beast known in Chao Ku's homeland of China as the Yeti but called in America Bigfoot. This particular beast was captured by Paiute Indians and has been tortured by Chao Ku to become a man-killer. At that same time, Yang is with some local Paiute Indians talking about among other things the reality of a man-beast called Bigfoot.

The scene shifts again, this time with Yin Li seemingly thrown out the door of her father's headquarters with scorn. She wanders into the rugged terrain and is followed by Yang. This is her plan of course to lure Yang into a trap, which she springs by falling into a steep canyon. Yang follows her and is observed by Chao Ku, Captain Keegan, and J.L.Hartley as the Bigfoot appears and threatens the couple. Yang battles the beast to limited effect when Yin Li does a turnabout and grabs a branch to help him fend off the savage killer. At that same moment riflemen under Chao Ku's orders begin to fire to kill the Bigfoot to save Yin Li. They hit the Bigfoot and Yin Li and Yang realize the creature might be less savage than they imagined.

"The Jackals Gather" begins when Yang battles the wounded Bigfoot assisted by Yin Li. They are able to fend off the beast, but then gunmen on the canyon ledge continue to fire trying to kill Yang. Keegan and Hartley join in on this effort and bullets whiz into the canyon. Yang attempts to climb out to confront the attackers and is followed by the Bigfoot who instead of attacking Yang overtakes him on the cliff and attacks the gunmen, specifically Keegan who he pitches into the canyon. Other gunmen follow and the Bigfoot is wounded many times. Chao Ku and Hartley have fled. Yang and Yin Li work to bind his wounds and get him into a wagon taking him to a location where another Bigfoot appears to look after the beast. Yang and Yin Li share another kiss, despite Yang's knowledge that Yin Li will betray him on another day.

"Yin-Yang Mail" features three letters. One writer complements the book and wants to know if the Yin-Yang myth is a Charlton creation. Another has good things to say about Gill and Sattler. The third wishes that Charlton would give the old Action Heroes another try and especially complimentary of Ditko's Blue Beetle, but the editor's response suggests Charlton is more interested in new heroes like E-Man and Yang.

To my knowledge this issue of Yang has never been reprinted.


I love Bigfoot stories and movies, so needless to say this is a fun comic. I don't necessarily believe in Bigfoot, but the myth and the lore are great fun to follow and explore. I was still a young man when the infamous 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film appeared, and I remember seeing it in the theaters. It had a profound effect on my imagination, and I've adored Bigfoot stories since.

As Bigfoot stories go, this issue of Yang is not bad. The Bigfoot/Yeti is assumed to exist in the stories and no one really doubts it. The Bigfoot featured here is at once savage and beastly, but Sattler does a great job of making it not too ape like. This is another type of beast all together. That Chao Ku has to torture the beast to make it a danger, points to notion that Bigfoot is a gentle creature capable of great harm when roused. That's some of the charm of the lore, and this story by Gill gets right to it. They do call the creature "Bigfoot" in this story, and that name for the man-beast is likely anachronistic, since I don't think it was coined until the 1950's. But that's a small glitch in a story that clearly is not meant to be history, though it makes heady use of an historical setting.

More to come.

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Bigfoot Captured Again!

Just watched and thoroughly enjoyed the faux-documentary Breaking History: Bigfoot Captured on the History Channel. I've love this kind of bogus storytelling and this one is a particularly good example, blending some apparently duped real scientist types with clear fictional narratives and some pretty decent film making to create a pretty entertaining whole. By the way, history remains intact.

I can't speak to the morality of spoofing folks who really imagine the show was going to show a real capture of a real Bigfoot, I cannot allow for such nimrods and their lack of self-awareness. But for fans of decent action-horror flicks this is pretty entertaining much of the time.

The narrator  (who is the same guy who did the mermaid show a few years ago I think, but with a Red Sox style beard) talks unconvincingly how he needs to be the guy who gets to the bottom of the Bigfoot mystery once and for all. We then follow him and another actor who go into the mountains where the latter claimed to have had a frightening encounter. Of course they have another.

Then the main plot starts as a veteran Bigfoot hunter, a nerd naturalist, a grumpy and skeptical woodsman, and two camera folks venture into prime Bigfoot territory for a multi-day hunt. One of the camera folks is the narrator who we actually never see in the field, but only ever get his camera perspective. The other is a winsome and  pretty girl who spends a lot of time setting up trail cameras and at one point is chased quite convincingly by a Bigfoot. The group wanders around  a bit finding signs which they argue about, then they have an encounter which turns violent, then there suddenly appears a giant metal cage (which is never shown being delivered) and they set up to capture a Bigfoot. They do, much to my surprise and the creature effects are excellent. I was put in mind of the outstanding effects from the vintage Hammer movie The Abominable Snowman, my favorite such movie.

Blended into all this are scenes with Jeff Meldrum and another scientist type who appear to think they are in another kind of Bigfoot show altogether, one which does the boring hashed-over history of the evidence thing we've seen so many times over the last ten years. Meldrum now claims he was duped, but I'm frankly not all that convinced. It's possible.

All in all this is a fun two hours with some great realistic footage (and some which is clearly bogus too) and a sufficient hint of verisimilitude to make it hang together.

On another front is Alaska Monsters: Bigfoot Edition which is the second season of this Mountain Monsters spin-off set of course in the forty-ninth state which is apparently riddled with different species of Bigfoot creatures of all sorts and colors. This season two new guys were added to the crew, adding a bit more youth to a pretty aged hunting party. But the shenanigans are pretty much the same. The team with charming names like "Crusty", "Bulldog" and "Face" dub themselves "The Alaska Midnight Sons".

The team goes to some remote part of the territory to finds some specific renditions of Bigfoot (Red Devil, Water-Stalker, Siberian Giant, Thunderfoot, etc.) and meeting up with witnesses before venturing into the night to dredge up invariably unseen but often heard monsters who always manage to elude the complex traps set for them. The team nonetheless dusts themselves off after their weekly drubbing and claim victory until the next installment. It's all pretty rigidly structured, like a good episode of Law and Order with some of the bits more interesting than others.

Some folks seem to get mad that shows like Alaska Monsters and Bigfoot Captured are fake, but as I've said here before, that doesn't mean they are not fun and entertaining diversions. 

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Creature From Black Lake!

How I've lived this long possessed of a fascination with the legendary Bigfoot and have never seen Creature from Black Lake is beyond me. (It was  recently the focus of the Finding Bigfoot show, which of course after several seasons now have still not done so.) But a few weeks ago I solved that dilemma when I found the 1976 epic online. To see it for yourself check out this link.

From this point on I'm going to be discussing the movie as if you've seen it, so if you haven't and want to, stop now before Jack Elam. It will be safe to read again when you see Dub Taylor (bet that's never been said before).

Jack Elam Says To Be Wary! SPOILERS BEGIN!

Creature from Black Lake begins in the swamps of Louisiana, specifically a place called Caddo Lake. There we find two trappers Joe Canton and his partner Willie, (Joe is played by the scene-stealing Jack Elam.) who are finding their traps have been tampered with. The switches back and forth between these two idling across the swamplands and a Chicago professor who is talking about the legendary creatures known as "Bigfoot", "Sasquatch", and "Skunk Ape".  As the Prof drone on about how harmless the creatures are, a furry hand reaches out of the swamp and pulls the hapless Willie into the drink from where he never returns. Joe skedaddles.

Then the Prof talks to our heroes Pahoo and Rives, two college students who want to prove the existence of the creature. The two head off in their obligatory 70's van to the wilds of the South to find Joe Canton who has reported the loss of Willie to the authorities. There is quite a bit of hijinks which occur after this point to establish the rapport the two have and to waste time as the look for witnesses. Despite being told by the Sheriff to drop their inquiry, they find a young man who tells how his family saw the Creature and how his parents were killed in a car wreck as a result. He takes them to meet his grandparents who also witnessed the event and who are scared to this day. (The Grandpa is played by character actor supreme  Dub Taylor.)The meeting goes well enough enough they scare the Granny and have to leave.

They then meet two girls who agree to meet them at their camp in the swamp and no sooner do the two pairs of youngsters begin spooning but the Creature appears to take a peek and scare them. He's scared off by the Sheriff who promptly takes the two Bigfoot researchers to jail where they at last find the man they've been searching for Joe, who has since had another encounter.

He tells them where to search and when they get out of jail they head deep into the swamp and once again engage with the Creature who attacks them, destroys their van, and creates enough havoc that Pahoo is seriously injured and Rives is hurt too. They are saved by the Sheriff who hears their calls for help on the radio and the story ends with the pair licking their not-insignificant wounds and vowing to strike out again to solve the mystery.

Dub Taylor Says Its Okay! END Of SPOILERS!

The story is a solid enough effort, and many folks pick at it for the antics of the two men who have to fill the screen with material while they wait for the Creature to show up and make things more interesting. The acting is adequate, with seasoned pros like Elam, Taylor, and Bill Thurman as the Sheriff adding a lot of credibility to the effort. The younger actors are uneven, though the leads are competent, especially the somewhat older Dennis Fimple as Pahoo. The weakest effort is by the producer Jim McCullough Jr. who plays the role of the young man who first befriends the searchers and takes them to see his grandparents. His acting is weak and made even more so when forced up against a master like Taylor.

The Creature itself is handled rather smartly I think. The special effects would have been limited, but they do a good job keeping it off screen or just out of sight in the shadows. Its presence then becomes more felt than seen, which is just what you want in a movie of this kind. That said, this isn't really in any shape or form a scary movie. The Creature is threatening and there is a bit of tension at the end, but for the most part the movie delivers characters and atmosphere more than events.

I'd love to own a copy of this flick, but the movie sells for prohibitively high prices. This screams for someone to reissue it into a market which is ripe for this kind of offbeat material. Hopefully sooner than later, I can find a copy, maybe with some neat extras. For now, though it's satisfying just having seen it through.

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The Legend Of Bigfoot!

The Legend of Bigfoot from 1976 is an exceedingly oddball film. Produced by its "star" Ivan Marx who narrates the movie, it turns out he also filmed almost all of it. This purports to be a documentary, but appears to be an elaborately developed hoax.

Marx and his wife Peggy appear in the movie themselves as they wander the countryside in their VW Bug in search of evidence of "Bigfoot". (Mostly Peggy stays at home at the ranch though.) The tale is related in flashback form as we begin with an introduction by Marx himself about how his attitude toward  Bigfoot has changed over the course of the previous decade.

Marx claims to make his living as a hunter and tracker and is called in to hunt bears, wolves and whatnot all over the country. In the course of that he keeps finding rumors of Bigfoot until he himself is convinced of the existence of the creature and begins a dogged search for evidence.

Eventually he sees Bigfoot several times, as do we though always from a vast distance in which the creature looks remarkably human in both its appearance and character.

This movie has some charm, a sort of practiced naivety which makes the search for Bigfoot something all the viewers can join into. We traverse the dunes, mountains, meadows, and woods alongside Marx, always seemingly wearing the same checked flannel shirt, as he rambles around, always with his warm and  friendly voice along for the ride.

The movie succeeds mightily in showcasing some outstanding images of the natural world as it seeks to pick out distant images of Bigfoot in landscape.

I don't believe this movie for a moment, but I do find it weirdly fascinating and I recommend it to any Bigfoot enthusiast. Others might not be so interested.

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The Bigfoot Edition!

I've said here before that I love the myth of "Bigfoot". It's one of those fascinating modern revisions of a classic aspect of human culture which reverberates through the centuries, a nigh-human wild man who looks back at us with a face which mirrors our own.

That said, the last decade has all but dis-proven the existence of the creature for the very simple reason that with the ubiquitous ability of mankind to record visually every detail of life it's inconceivable at this point that compelling video evidence has not yet been turned in.

Once upon a time critics would say that cameras had not captured a plane crash or a train wreck or other disaster suggesting that our ability to scan and record the world was still limited. Now that's just not the case. Youtube is loaded with all aspects of human activity and by this time "Bigfoot" should be numbered amongst that catalog.

I've discussed before how much I'm entertained by the zany Mountain Monsters show on Destination America. Now the third season is underway and it's labeled "The Bigfoot Edition". In the tradition of faux reality entertainments like The Legend of Boggy Creek, The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield and the Sean Hannity show on Fox News, this pretend gang of paranormal trackers plumb the woods of Appalachia looking for and always finding the mythic beasties of the age, especially Bigfoot.

They have ramped up the complexity though this season, since singular hunts for disparate cryptids has proven formulaic, in that we are presented with a looming backstory that Bigfoot has connections with all other cryptids in the region. It is suggested that Bigfoot is actually a creature with a primitive culture of sorts and have divided into specific clans (Grassman, Yahoo, etc.) and that he has to lesser and greater degrees made alliances with and/or domesticated to some extent other mythic monsters. For instance in two episodes to date, both the elusive Chupacabra and the Hellhound have been suggested as helpers of the Bigfoot clans. And somehow or other humans might be involved too.  Dial up the conspiracy theory meter to eleven.

This is a fantastic idea, worthy of the hyperbolic imagining which often dominates the capricious cogitations of Bigfoot enthusiasts. By the process of endless speculation no possibility is dismissed until absurdity that all things are possible is the only result.

We are in the deep manure now amigos -- buckle up! It's a perfect day for it.

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The Legend Of Boggy Creek!

The Legend of Boggy Creek is a fondly remember favorite. I saw it in the theater many many moons ago as a boy and it left a big impression. Certain scenes linger in my memory and of course have loomed larger there than they existed in reality. That is only enhanced by the weirdly graceful image of the creature rendered by Ralph McQuarrie for the classic poster. (The creature never looks that good in the movie, in fact he hardly looks like anything since the creators smartly keep him in the shadows and out of sight almost all the time.)

It didn't take but a few minutes of watching the 1972 movie again as an adult to realize of course that my boyhood impressions were more poignant than the reality of the film. The movie purports to be a documentary of sorts detailing the existence of the Fouke Monster, a bigfootish creature who lived in the dank creeks and woods around the Arkansas town of Fouke.

Shot on the exceedingly cheap by Charles B. Pierce, this is actually a silent movie with dialogue doped in later (and with little subtlety). The first hour or so of the show details the earliest sightings of the creature, mostly a series of largely harmless sightings in the early 50's and throughout the 60's. Salted in with these musings are many images of the natural world around Fouke. Actually the first five minutes or so of the movie are fascinating as the camera lingers and lingers on scenes of the natural world, evoking a resolute peace and quiet which ultimately is broken by a strange cry in the distance. Wonderful way to bring the viewer into the flick.

But the movie's fame rests largely I'd suspect on the last half hour which details one series of weirdly creepy encounters between the Fouke Monster and the Ford families in 1971. It is these encounters which have lingered in my memory for so many decades.

The creature slinks around an isolated home occupied by two mothers and their children (the menfolk are at work) and attempts to enter the home but fails to do so. The women flee but return and some nights later when two male relatives are visiting the creature returns and becomes much more aggressive, even at one point thrusting a furry arm into a window. (This is the moment I remember with so much gusto after all this time.) The husbands return and a cruel game of cat and mouse ensues. Eventually the police are called and there is even something akin to a battle when the creature attacks and injures one of the men.

The show ends as you'd suspect with the open question of the creature's continued existence. Like all of these movies, this one proves nothing but merely offers up some seemingly legit testimony and raises some questions.

The low-key nature of the narration really adds to the flavor of The Legend of Boggy Creek. The narrator is Vern Steirman and his calm and warm voice delivering the words of scripter Earl E. Smith give the proceedings a matter-of-fact  and marginally nostalgic quality which succeeds in making it all sound so reasonable. And the performances, most by amateurs add some indescribable nuance to the documentary nature of the movie. Also for reasons no one really fully understands there are several little songs sprinkled throughout the movie. Check this out for a sample.

The version I picked up was produced by the Cheezy Flicks folks and I've found their productions to be full of fun and flavor, loaded with nifty extras which try (in this case at least) to evoke some of the character of the vintage drive-in experience.

Loved seeing this one again after all these many years. Look forward to watching it again soon.

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Mountains Of Monsters!

I have to confess a softness in my head for professional wrestling. I know it's a lame and exceedingly low-brow entertainment, filled with knot-headed tropes which play themselves out in predictable and violent ballets. That said, I find the characters fascinating, not because of themselves so much as what they indicate about the audience which is attracted by them or repulsed from them or sometimes both. It's like a blue-collar bug-zapper which I find a surprisingly accurate barometer of the public mood. And like most TV it's utterly unimportant, and a disarming way to distract from the true problems of the world.

I say that, to say this -- Mountain Monsters, a dopey TV show about a gang of mostly rotund hillbillies traipsing through the hollows of West Virginia, Kentucky, and Ohio trying to wrangle Bigfoot and other assorted folkloric beasties is an absolute howl and an exceedingly pure entertainment.  And as far as I can figure it functions almost exactly like professional wrestling.

The premise suggests the hills of Appalachia are riddled with all manner of mysterious monsters. Some are walking shaggy menaces like Bigfoot under various names like Yahoo, Grassman, and the Grafton Monster. Others are veritable dragons, giant lizards that prowl both the streams and hillsides. There are werewolves, devil dogs, and bloodless howlers, all vagely canine and mysterious. There are supernatural threats like the infamous Mothman, the lesser known Shadow Creature and such like. There seems to be a critter for every county in and around West Virginia, the home base and primary setting for this Destination America show.

The leader John "Trapper" Tice, a co-founder of A.I.M.S. (Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Sightings), is a dour but supposedly experienced hunter who leads his men into danger weekly in search of monsters who are upsetting the local populace around and near his home state of  West Virginia. All the team defer to Trapper, who operates like a military commander in the field as they track their weekly menace. Usually Trapper leads a "squad" of three other men as they meet "witnesses" and discover "evidence" concerning the critter-of-the-week.

Jack Buck Lowe is referred often as "The Rookie". Younger than all his colleagues he is the low-man on the totem pole and gets most of the grunt work, with Trapper as his Yoda. Despite his portly frame he is often ordered into narrow gullies to find some obscure clue or get some random measurement. Buck gets a lot of screen time and I imagine is supposed to be at once comedy relief and  our avenue into this team of seemingly reticent hill men.

Jeff Headlee is a quiet member and co-founder of A.I.M.S., evoking thoughts of St.Nicholas, this roly-poly even-tempered fellow eschews a weapon, the only member of the team who doesn't carry a shotgun or rifle on the hunts. Instead Jeff is the researcher, the guy who knows the lore and who scans the woods constantly with his thermal image camera corporeal evidence seeking monsters.

Joseph Huckleberry is the quietest member, a tall man (6'4" according to one episode) who functions as "security" for the team. But he often does other things as well and seems pretty much an all-purpose member of Trapper's investigative team. His main job seems to be to look exceedingly "hillbilly".

Functioning apart from Trapper's sub-team most of the time is the third A.I.M.S. co-founder Willy McQuillian, a McGuiver-like woodsman who contrives and seemingly builds unique and often pretty dang dangerous traps for the creatures they seek to locate and contain. Willy is pretty spry and is often shown falling or being dragged by mysterious and invariably unseen beasties. He rarely passes a hole in the ground he doesn't stab his shaggy head into.

Willie is joined in his trap construction by "Wild" Bill Neff, a former Marine and skilled lineman who is able to clamber into trees and on top of bridges with equal speed and aplomb. Arguably the breakout character on this show, "Wild Bill" has a hot head and is sometimes rebuked for his impulsive manner which can put the team into "danger". But like Willie, Bill is one of the few team members who is nimble enough to pull off some of the mild stunts the show sometimes require.

What makes this show like professional wrestling is pretty easy to see. We have a contrived event which pretends to be a real activity populated by memorable and distinctive characters who perform predictably in a program designed to fulfill the audience's desires.

The first thing to know about this show for those who might never have seen it, is they always, and I mean always find their quarry. Usually they locate the creature in the first fifteen minutes of the show after checking in with one or more rustic witnesses usually named "Wolfie", "Sparky", or some such colorful nom de guerre. Witnesses have photos and videos of the supposed creatures, though never anything particularly compelling. Trapper, Jeff, Buck, and Huckleberry lumber into the woods adjacent to some sighting (usually less than a month old) and find some track, nest, or sign of the critter or maybe even the critter itself. Meanwhile Willie and Bill begin to design and build some laborious trap next to this same land (seemingly) which they will later try to drive the beast into. After more witnesses and some entertaining trap-building, the six members assemble for the final night's hunt which is filled with yelling and scrambling and misbegotten maneuvers as the creature they are tracking either eludes them eventually, or attacks them or both. The trap almost always fails and they just miss capturing the creature we never actually see (despite cameras galore on the hunt) but the team assures us is quite real.

After two full seasons (a total of twenty episodes), the second having just finished, these stories are sometimes leavened with personal touches like Buck being hypnotized by the Mothman, Willie suffering losses on his own farm from the Devil Dogs, Bill being made unreliable by his rage at the beast which specializes in killing his beloved bears, or Trapper needing a dentist or getting Sheepsquatch piss in his eyes. These little personal flavors change up the status quo a smidge, but the creators of this show are very careful never to mar the overall structure. Like wrestling, predictability with some small variations is allowed but the experience must reinforce certain preconceptions to remain viable.

I find the show exceedingly entertaining. These guys have discovered that years of watching people stumble across the United States and beyond in a vain effort to find Bigfoot is much less entertaining than a gang of yahoos rampaging through the forests trying to capture or blow the holy hell out of him. You still don't see Bigfoot, but it's a lot more fun not seeing him with this zany mob of hillbillies.

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Bigfoot Is Full Of Scat!

Robert Crumb

The Ten Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty is the latest installation in the most recent wave of Bigfoot fandom. It's a fundamentally stupid TV show, an odd cross between Animal Planet's highly successful Finding Bigfoot and the avalanche of high-octane game shows which litter the airwaves such as Survivor, The Great Race, and such.

Dean Cain, former Superman actor serves as the peculiarly intense host inviting a gaggle of two-man and/or woman teams who have assembled to discover either compelling photographic or DNA evidence of the existence of the mythical North American phenomenon. The judges seem sober enough, Todd Disotell, a skeptical scientist (the one with the mohawk) and Natalia Reagan a very pretty primatologist, evaluate the "evidence" gathered by the teams.

So far the teams have gathered weak nature photos, some blood samples, assorted hairs, and a lot scat (which is hunter lingo for old shit -- ironically enough). So this show has tumbled along now for several episodes and it's too stupid. The teams are a motley array of true believers, wannabe reality stars, eccentric hunters, and lying-ass frauds. One doofus actually claims he has shot and killed two "Bigfeet". Bull-scat I say! The fact none of the hosts have called this lying dumb ass out on this clear and obvious  prevarication suggests that like almost all of these shows it's about generating a little personality heat on the screen and not remotely about some quest for the...ahem...truth about Bigfoot. The game is afoot and it's ratings! (Note: Since I wrote this paragraph one judge has called the stories out for the lies they clearly are.)

Dean Cain might be part of the legacy which might have made us believe a man could fly, but he will never be part of the one which will convince anyone that Bigfoot exists.

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Bobo And The Bigfoot!

Mike Zeck
I'm a big fan of Bigfoot shows and movies. The attempts by modern men and some few women armed with some bits and some few pieces of modern technology attempting to grapple with the vast and abiding myth of the deep woods is fascinating to watch. Legends of these creatures called many things, but often "Sasquatch" are scrutinized, sometimes too-vivid eyewitness testimony evaluated and evidence, such as it is when it's found, is gathered and examined.

The search for Bigfoot has provided focus and entertainment for many over the last several decades, essentially since the first public showings of the Patterson-Gimlin film featuring a walking disinterested Bigfoot in the Pacific Northwest. One interesting study I've seen demonstrated that Bigfoot sightings did indeed exist before this famous, some would say infamous, film became part of the public consciousness, but since that time sightings have skyrocketed and have occurred all over the North American continent, not just in the Pacific Northwest.

Cliff, Bobo, Ranae, and Matt
That is the premise of Animal Planet's hit show Finding Bigfoot, which just wrapped its third season. On this most entertaining TV show, four researchers gambol across the continental U.S. looking for Bigfoot, talking to witnesses, examining evidence, and explaining the ways of this mysterious creature. Three of the four are Bigfoot believers, Matt, Cliff, and Bobo all have seen a Bigfoot they believe and are ardent followers of the Bigfoot path. The sole woman and scientist on the team, Ranae is a skeptic.

The show has become a bit of fad, as the team has looked for Bigfoot in the usual places like Oregon and Washington state, but they have also inexplicably spent time looking for the critter in Connecticut, Ohio, and New Mexico, not locales traditionally famed for Bigfoot. They inevitably wander around the woods using all manner of equipment and techniques to lure out unsuspecting Bigfoots and they inevitably fail or discover only tantalizing and at best ambiguous circumstances which might perhaps constitute evidence. Rarely alas is Occam's Razor applied to most of the "evidence" they encounter. This show is about true believers reinforcing what they believe and having a good time doing it.

Robert Crumb
I've learned a lot about Bigfoot ways watching the show. Bigfoot habitat is pretty widespread, essentially any copse of woods will be sufficient regardless of the relative presence of people, no place is safe from or for the Bigfoot, all places seem more or less "Squatchy". The shy yet curious creature which comes in all sorts of colors, at once is able to hide and pretend to be other creatures but inexplicably is drawn to play peeping tom on unsuspecting women in isolated trailers. Bigfoots (not "Bigfeet" mind you) use high-tension electric lines as paths to migrate across the continent. The Bigfoot might keep and train coyotes, which they can imitate along with owls, the Bigfoot might from time to time stay in abandoned human dwellings, the Bigfoot eat deer, squirrels, and such but Payday candy bars and donuts are their catnip (mine too). It's this never-ending lore which can be oddly fascinating, and never a word to explain how so much trivia can be known about a creature not yet formally recognized as even truly extant.

Bobo
The unofficial star of Finding Bigfoot is James "Bobo" Fay, a California Bigfooter and surfer who until his current TV status was working quite contentedly on a crab boat. Bobo who often pretends to be Bigfoot in recreations of eye-witness testimony is like most of the team an affable chap who finds kindred spirits all over the U.S. and elsewhere.

It is the charm of these true believers which in spite of my own skepticism forces me to treat each show with some measure of respect. I don't believe in Bigfoot. The actual evidence, discounting the difficult-to-disprove Patterson-Gimlin film is thin. There's never quite a clear photo, nor is there ever quite sufficient DNA. That there might be a lost  creature hidden in the deep woods of the Pacific Northwest, you might just convince me is barely possible. But that the Bigfoot is, not unllike alien abduction, ubiquitous across the breadth of the nation is patently absurd. It's nonsense, pure poppycock. But it sure is fun to watch.

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