Conjure Wife!

Conjure Wife is Fritz Leiber's first novel. It tells the story of a relatively young college professor and his wife, who just so happens to be witch. She uses her spells and such to protect her chosen man and help him along in his career. When he discovers her little notions, he stupidly destroys them thinking them whims. Things immediately start to go bad in his life. It seems there are other witches in town, and they don't cotton to the new couple at all. 

The short novel was first published in Unknown Worlds in 1943. We meet Norman Saylor who is a professor of Ethnology at Hempnell College, a small school rife with the politics of the kind which are all too common in such places. He's considered a candidate for the head of the Sociology Department. His wife is the lovely Tansy Saylor who is five years younger, she'd been a student of his when they fell in love. It seems that in this universe all women practice witchcraft more or less to different degrees. Men are oblivious to these practices, and sadly as man I can attest that makes too much sense. When Norman finds the various totems and trinkets Transy uses to protect them, he foolishly destroys them and almost immediately his life is turned upside down. There is a threat to his life, a charge is made against him which is untrue, and his chances for the chairmanship dwindle when he makes some strong statements about sexual politics in his class. 

When Norman finds the various totems and trinkets Tansy uses to protect them, he foolishly destroys them and almost immediately his life is turned upside down. There is a threat to his life, a charge is made against him which is untrue, and his chances for the chairmanship dwindle when he makes some strong statements about sexual politics in his class. 

Tansy and Norman fail to communicate, and his lack of belief causes him to constantly seek logical answers to the strange events which increasingly surround him. There are more and more intrusions into their lives as he begins to believe, but then realizes he's rendered himself an easy victim to whatever is moving against hm. When Tansy at last begins to take direct action, it becomes a potential tragedy. 

This is a remarkable story, told by a master who keeps us inside Norman's experience and makes us feel his indecision and ultimate dread. At a critical moment he is called up on to act and the consequences of this actually made me gasp. That's what stories like this want to do, affect the reader, to draw us into the world the author fashions and makes us feel the same love, fear, or this instance terror that informs the characters. A zombie tale with a twist. Remarkable story. 

The novel was adapted to film three times. Weird Woman from Universal is an entertaining if not particularly faithful adaptation in 1944 of the Fritz Leiber story and features Lon Chaney Jr, Anne Gwynne and Evelyn Ankers. The story is hurt by the glossy studio presentation of the rituals, which needed a rougher treatment in places. The girl that played the witch-wife was too white-bread to sell the exotic nature of the tale; the poster makes her seem way scarier than anything in the movie itself. There is some really fine acting in this one, especially by Elizabeth Russell in a part that could have been far less in other hands. Evelyn Ankers is a real stand out and gleefully evil as the scorned woman, and her ultimate scene is pretty offbeat and strange. One big drag on the movie is Lon Chaney Jr. who is woefully miscast, but he was the face that sold the tickets. The most idiotic guy you've even seen on screen is constantly called brilliant by other characters as he did one dumb or insensitive thing after another. 

The story of Conjure Wife was adapted to the screen again in 1962 under the title of Burn Witch Burn, and is also known as Night of the Eagle. This minor classic features a screenplay Richard Matheson and Charles Beaumont and stars Peter Wyngarde and Janet Blair. It's got a damn fine poster, that's for sure. The movie itself is crisp and like most all the British flicks I see, filled with excellent actors. Peter Wyngarde is great as the self-righteous husband who demands that his wife see the world as he does, with relentless logic. Janet Blair is outstanding as Tansy, a thoroughly modern woman who just so happens practices a little witchcraft when her busy and ambitious husband is away. This moody effort is easily the best of the adaptations, making changes necessary to keep a sharp ending. The use of an eagle as an avatar of evil didn't rally track with me and scenes featuring the creature are the weakest in the production. The use of a recording tape is used as a fetish, not unlike those elusive slips of paper in Night of the Demon. 

There was an early television adaptation of the story on the defunct DuPont Network in 1960 under the title Conjure Wife. I've not seen it and I've found almost nothing online about it.  I'd love to know more, and I welcome any corrections. 

The story was adapted a fourth if unofficial time as Witches Brew or Which Witch is Which in 1980. This outing stars Terri Garr and Richard Benjamin and is Lana Turner's final film. I've read this is supposed to be a comedy, but it's a strange one. The movie has the feel of an Indy film at times, with some clunky sound design. It's edited rather oddly too, keeping a too slow pace. We end up looking at some scenes way too long. At other times we are told the story in brisk effective short cuts. There were two directors on this one and I bet that accounts for the uneven atmosphere. Benjamin and Garr are the college couple in this one and he knows she's a witch but just gets tired of it. She gets rid of her stuff and all hell breaks loose. An angry student even becomes a sniper to take him out, but this side-plot is poorly developed. Lana Turner is great as an older witch looking to improve her lot in life and scoping out Terri Garr to help with it. The most surprising moment is an actual stop-motion flying demon. That's not in the novel. Fritz Leiber's name is never referenced, though some aspects of this movie are the closest of any of the movies. 

This is grand stuff for the Halloween season. I highly recommend the book and even the movies are well worth seeking out. You can read the novel here. 

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Dojo Classics - Inner Sanctum!

One might call this 1943-1945 series from Universal "The Saga of Lon Chaney's Mustache". The second-generation creature feature actor sports his pencil thin mustache in all six of these thrillers, starring in all of them but surrounded by outstanding Universal studio players like Evelyn Ankers, J.Carrol Naish, Milburn Stone, and many more. Here's a neat link with a sturdy and reliable description of each movie. No need for me to repeat this good work.

Let me simply say which of these I liked best and why with few if any spoilers.


This is a solid thriller, but gets a bit tedious before it's done. I felt all of its very brief running time. J.Carrol Naish as the cop is the highlight for me, he's nicely sarcastic and the movie brightens considerably when he's on screen.


Good adaptation of the Fritz Leiber story, but hurt by the glossy studio presentation of the rituals. Needed a rougher treatment in places. The girl that played the witch-wife was too whitebread to sell the exotic nature of the tale; the poster makes her seem way scarier than anything in the movie itself. There is some really fine acting in this one, especially by Elizabeth Russell in a part that could have been far less in other hands. Evelyn Ankers is dandy too and her ultimate scene is pretty dang good.


Strange tale of jealousy and greed and oddball surgery, with Acquanetta proving why she had such short career. Good basic thriller, but little else with an especially unlikeable protagonist. Lon Chaney's characters in these can be quite hard to cotton to, but this guy a self-important and whiny artist is the worst.


Weird story that shifts around quite a bit. The first three movies were clearly set in the real world, this one seems more a classic "horror" flick with the introduction of a vintage locale - a wax museum. There's actual action in this one with some heady knife-wielding by scene-chewing villain Martin Kosleck.


This one turned out to be my favorite, a nice story told in flashback about a noble chemist tormented by a despicable boss. There's real charm in this one, and for the first time Lon Chaney is allowed to play an antagonist you feel full sympathy for. Most of the others are snarky know-it-alls who bring about their own problems to some extent. This guy too, but he's nicer about it. Brenda Joyce is great as the wife in this one.


This is the only one which has a sputter of humor in it, and sadly that gets snuffed out in the movie sooner than I liked. This one turns into a murder thriller and haunted house muncher, but ends up with a better ending than I expected. Lots of wacky characters in this Scooby-Doo-ish offering. It's a horrible title though, this flick deserved better.

Overall I give these a recommendation if you can find them cheaply which is readily possible now. These are professionally crafted and feature some very good acting, some great direction at times, and some good scripting here and there. They can lumber especially those directed by LeBorg, but they are all solid entertainments with a good atmosphere, especially those directed by LeBorg. Lon Chaney wasn't the greatest actor ever, and these movies show his limits, but they also give him chance to do more than growl. He does okay from time to time too.

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Meet The Monsters!

I recently had the great pleasure to enjoy one of the most exquisite perks in the teaching field, a snow day. They come in the depths of winter, some much anticipated, a precious few unseen and even more pleasurable, but they are jewels of time given over by Mother Nature and so must be used to best effect. I used mine to watch Abbott and Costello movies, especially those in which the classic comedy team match up against some of Universal's mighty monsters. Here are my results as along with Bud and Lou, I too meet the monsters!

(1948)

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is the first and best of these quasi-horror comedies. Bud and Lou play delivery men Chick and Wilbur (respectively) who end up getting on the wrong side of Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) and his schemes to revive the Frankenstein's Monster (Glenn Strange) as his slave. To help him he uses a beautiful criminal scientist named Mornay (Lenore Aubert). Looking to frustrate the scheme is Larry Talbot, the Wolfman (Lon Chaney Jr.) who tries to get Wilbur and Chick to help him. Also on hand is an insurance agent (Jane Randolph) who gets mixed up with Mornay's assistant (Charles Bradstreet). There is much highjinks  as the boys get dragged to a creepy island castle and run amok during a masquerade ball in which Dracula can walk around with little suspicion.

This is a romp of the grandest order, with delightful gags and truly amazing pacing. It's almost never a drag, even by modern standards and the spectacle of the sets is keen to the nth degree. For monster fans there are plenty of Wolfman moments with three four transformations, lots of Dracula allure with his changes into a bat handled with some slick animation, and scuds of Frankenstein action with Glenn Strange offering up another glimpse of the sympathetic monster. The Abbott and Costello gags are by and large pretty funny, so it scores high on that side as well. The Invisible Man puts in an appearance before this one is over and that's nifty since he's the focus of the next move.

(1951)

Abbot and Costello Meet The Invisible Man is the least of the four movies in this collection. The boys are two recently graduated detectives who get asked by an escaped murder suspect and former boxing hero Tommy Nelson  (Arthur Franz) to help him prove his innocence. We also meet his girlfriend Helen (Nancy Guild) and scientist Dr. Gray (Gavin Muir) who are working to recreate the formula of John Griffin (shown in a photo to be Claude Rains) to become invisible.

Chased by police detective Roberts (William Frawley) Tommy uses the formula and then becomes increasingly erratic as the story unfolds. To prove his innocence he convinces the boys to go undercover as a boxer and his manager to draw out the hoodlum (Sheldon Leonard) who framed him. Along the way a dame named Boots (Adele Jergens) who tries to seduce Lou to get him to throw a fight. There is much double-crossing and gags, but overall very little aside from a few great special effects.

(1953)

Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde stars not only Bud and Lou (named Slim and Tubby in this one) but Boris Karloff (as Dr. Jekyll though stuntman Eddie Parker played Hyde) as well. Karloff had done an earlier movie with Abbott and Costello but apparently had little regard for the work he'd done there. Nonetheless he's great as a scheming Jekyll who transforms himself into the murderous Hyde to get rid of rivals and critics. Slim and Tubby meet a reporter named Bruce Adams (Craig Stevens) and a suffragette named Vicky Edwards (Helen Westcott) who is also Jekyll's ward, a woman he has designs on. After many complications in Jekyll's lab assistant, them menacing Bately (John Dierkes) who chases the boys around for a bit.

There's a lot of a grand chase sequences in this one and really fun gags. But mostly it's the brisk pace, which after a somewhat sleepy beginning rarely lets up. It's the second best of these four flicks by a large margin, which in no small part because it attempts to mimic the first one. Karloff is typically great.

(1955)

Abbott and Costello Meet The Mummy is the last of these four movies and as it turns out, the final Abbot and Costello major movie ever. They turned their attention to television after this and broke up in 1957. This is a movie that's desperate to keep the viewer's attention with a story set in Egypt in which our heroes who use their own names in the movie though the end credits do list character names for them. They run afoul of a cult led by Semu (Richard Deacon) trying to retrieve the mummy Khalis which has been taken by Professor Zoomer (Kurt Hatch) who is swiftly murdered and our heroes get blamed for it.

Chased now by the Cairo police they also run afoul of Madame Rontru (Marie Windsor) and her henchmen (Michael Ansara and Dan Seymour). There's a lot of running, and inexplicably lots of dancing as the movie often stops for simple stage acts to take off. We have a dance troup or two and a lounge singer (Peggy King) who entertain while the movie hovers in abeyance. It's a movie with moments but not a success. The Mummy is pretty good but the story gets out of control as its explosive ending indicates.

All in all, these are monsters exceedingly well met and a snow day exceedingly well spent.

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The Black Sleep!

The Black Sleep has been that one horror flick which has eluded me for years and years. Until recently, I'd never seen this final stab at classic horror by some of the screen's classic names. You'd think a movie loaded with the likes of Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney, John Carradine, and even Tor Johnson would be a true horror pleasure. But you'd be wrong.

Despite an amazing assembly of talent, including the lead villain Basil Rathbone, this movie rarely gathers any momentum and just when it does, it stifles it with an abrupt and truncated finale which only serves to tie up loose ends and not all of those really.

The story is really rather a simple one. A mad scientist (Rathbone) in a deluded attempt to save his comatose wife who needs brain surgery assembles  a cadre of practice patients to do brain surgery upon. He works through a local tattoo artist and body snatcher and uses two nurses (one loyal and one not) along with another doctor who he has helped escape the gallows. This team of specialists wander around a classic castle filled with dungeons and operating rooms hidden behind giant fireplaces. Eventually his subjects get loose and all hell breaks loose.

The biggest problem with this movie is that despite a large ensemble cast, most of the actors don't actually talk or say much of anything of interest. Only four characters have much to do and much of that makes little sense in the long term. Much of the screen time in the middle of the movie is taken up with mind-numbing talk about the physiology of the brain with charts and posters and such used as static visual guides. 

I've waited many years to see this movie and frankly despite the grand cast it was disappointing. A missed opportunity to get some great stuff from some infamous actors falls into the trap of merely trading on their names for an advertising stunt. It was truly unfortunate.

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Whatever Happened To Spider Baby!

I don't know that I'd ever read or heard of this oddball horror flick titled Spider Baby (or perhaps Whatever Happened to Spider Baby or The Liver Eaters or Spider Baby - The Maddest Story Ever Told or Cannibal Orgy...you get the picture) until I stumbled across its description on TCM. I saw it was dated 1968 and featured Lon Chaney Jr., and I knew I had to at least take a glimpse so I set it up to record and went on my merry way. I forgot about it, but my DVR did not and when it showed up on the recorded list I gave it a tumble.

Weird!

The movie was apparently actually shot in 1964, in glorious black and white, but didn't get released until 1968 because of finances. It's pretty clear not much money went into this production. Featuring novice and second-tier actors, that side of the film is sometimes awkward but mostly competent. The set design and the directing are other matters entirely, strictly low rent and downright shabby in places.

Washburn, Haig, Banner and Chaney

The movie is set in a classic "haunted house" inhabited by a gaggle of crazed children overseen by the caretaker Lon Chaney Jr. I got a distinctly Addams Family feel from the array of crazies, with characters who reminded me of various of those classic folks here and there at various times. I got the sense that the director wanted to make an Addams Family movie which was just a tad more blood-thirsty than the classic TV series would allow.

Mantan Moreland, a famous face from several vintage horror flicks opens the story as a delivery man who meets a grisly end. His scenes clearly seemed to have been shot apart from the rest of the cast as he doesn't interact with them, save by dint of stand ins and editing. Chaney shows up and disposes of Mantan and he's hardly mentioned after. He deserved better and the movie would've been well served to have actually added him to the mix more thoroughly.

The crazy-mixed-up-kids in this story are killers all, with a tendency toward cannibalism. Apparently the members of this family get nuttier as they age, so these kids still are "manageable" so to speak while older members of the clan are hidden away in the bowels of the house and apparently are merely fed and left to fend for their wild selves. The dark-haired girl (Jill Banner) likes to play with knives and the blonde (Beverly Washburn) seems more innocent but seems content to murder also. The boy (Sid Haig) who seems to be a cross between Uncle Fester and Pugsley is on the verge of getting out of hand and joining his relatives in the basement.

Schanzer and Ohmart

Some distant relatives with designs on the property appear, and that triggers the core plot. The crazies try to kill the nastier newcomers (Carol Ohmart, Quinn Redeker, and Karl Schanzer who plays a lawyer with a distinct Gomez Addams affect) while Chaney tries to hold the mess together. He fails, as does this movie ultimately. I get that some folks find it a cheesy cult flick, but I found it too dull and slowly paced to really enjoy. Chaney does put some effort into his part, but I find him too mawkish most of the time.

All in all Spider Baby is just too poorly done and while it doesn't mind laughing at itself, I find it not terribly funny. I though like the opening titles of the movie which are great cartoons. You can get a sense of that here at this website dedicated to the movie which is actually more entertaining than the movie itself.

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Inner Sanctum Mysteries!

One might call this 1943-1945 series from Universal "The Saga of Lon Chaney's Mustache". The second-generation creature feature actor sports his pencil thin mustache in all six of these thrillers, starring in all of them but surrounded by outstanding Universal studio players like Evelyn Ankers, J.Carrol Naish, Milburn Stone, and many more. Here's a neat link with a sturdy and reliable description of each movie. No need for me to repeat this good work. Let me simply say which of these I liked best and why with few if any spoilers. This is a solid thriller, but gets a bit tedious before it's done. I felt all of its very brief running time. J.Carrol Naish as the cop is the highlight for me, he's nicely sarcastic and the movie brightens considerably when he's on screen. Good adaptation of the Fritz Leiber story, but hurt by the glossy studio presentation of the rituals. Needed a rougher treatment in places. The girl that played the witch-wife was too whitebread to sell the exotic nature of the tale; the poster makes her seem way scarier than anything in the movie itself. There is some really fine acting in this one, especially by Elizabeth Russell in a part that could have been far less in other hands. Evelyn Ankers is dandy too and her ultimate scene is pretty dang good. Strange tale of jealousy and greed and oddball surgery, with Acquanetta proving why she had such short career. Good basic thriller, but little else with an especially unlikeable protagonist. Lon Chaney's characters in these can be quite hard to cotton to, but this guy a self-important and whiny artist is the worst. Weird story that shifts around quite a bit. The first three movies were clearly set in the real world, this one seems more a classic "horror" flick with the introduction of a vintage locale - a wax museum. There's actual action in this one with some heady knife-wielding by scene-chewing villain Martin Kosleck. This one turned out to be my favorite, a nice story told in flashback about a noble chemist tormented by a despicable boss. There's real charm in this one, and for the first time Lon Chaney is allowed to play an antagonist you feel full sympathy for. Most of the others are snarky know-it-alls who bring about their own problems to some extent. This guy too, but he's nicer about it. Brenda Joyce is great as the wife in this one. This is the only one which has a sputter of humor in it, and sadly that gets snuffed out in the movie sooner than I liked. This one turns into a murder thriller and haunted house muncher, but ends up with a better ending than I expected. Lots of wacky characters in this Scooby-Doo-ish offering. It's a horrible title though, this flick deserved better. Overall I give these a recommendation if you can find them cheaply which is readily possible now. These are professionally crafted and feature some very good acting, some great direction at times, and some good scripting here and there. They can lumber especially those directed by LeBorg, but they are all solid entertainments with a good atmosphere, especially those directed by LeBorg. Lon Chaney wasn't the greatest actor ever, and these movies show his limits, but they also give him chance to do more than growl. He does okay from time to time too. Rip Off

Manfish!

When you see the title Manfish on a collection of horror movies you might expect to see some knockoff of the classic Creature from the Black Lagoon. Well I did, and despite there being no creature at all (there is a shark), I wasn't disappointed that much.
Despite no monster, there is some pretty good underwater filming in this one.

Turns out the "Manfish" of this 1956 flick is a boat, and its crew is comprised of John Bromfield as a lusty and disreputable captain (Bromfield was actually in Revenge of the Creature ironically enough), Lon Chaney Jr. as a good-hearted but doltish first mate and a couple of Caribbean natives as divers. This crew is barely making ends meet when they come across Victor Jory, a black-hearted academic who is on the trail of some pirate gold, and his sloe-eyed girlfriend.

This tale it seems is a blending of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Gold-Bug" and "The Tell-Tale Heart". After a somewhat laborious opening act, the movie eventually gets into Gold-Bug gear as Bromfield, Jory, and Chaney go after the treasure following obscure clues only Jory's character can decipher. Jory's "girlfriend" (Tessa Pendergast),an exotic beauty, comes between Bromfield and Jory, playing them both against each other. The two want to murder each other through most of the movie and one succeeds, where the Tell-Tale Heart stuff kicks in.


The less said here the better as the movie's second and third acts aren't all that bad, but can be easily spoiled. There are some very dark and very funny moments in the final act of the movie, though I'm not certain the movie is going for laughs. The ending is appropriately ironic though, giving the whole affair a nice ring.

Jory is outstanding in this movie, and Bromfield is darn good. Even Chaney, usually awful at this stage of his career turns in a pretty decent role. This is one of those movies that's better than it ought to be, but beware the dull beginning. It does get better.

And if you want to see it, it seems someone has put the whole shebang on Youtube. Here's a link:

MANFISH

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Monsters On Route 66!

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."
-from Shakespeare's Macbeth

I've read about this episode of the vintage TV show Route 66 forever. It is a breezy Halloween episode titled "Lizard's Leg and Owlet's Wing" and brings together a trio of classic monster movie greats. Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and Lon Chaney Jr. are the famous monsters in this one.

The premise is pretty weak really, as we find the trio trying to bring monsters to a new market, ostensibly television and they are debating whether the classics will serve or as Karloff argues a new horror is called for. The debate is pretty tepid with Lorre and Chaney going to great lengths to pitch for the classic approach. With the aid of Martin Milner, they eventually partner up to frighten a gaggle of secretaries who are attending a conference.

There's more, but what horror fans want to know is that Lon Chaney appears in several make-ups, beginning the show in the Hunchback of Notre Dame garb, switching briefly to the Mummy, and then spending a great deal of the show as the Wolfman. His face is actually only glimpsed in one scene. Lorre having no classic make-ups to refer to must use his considerable mug to bring effect and he does so masterfully. Karloff, the reluctant member of the trio eventually dons the classic Frankenstein make-up for a few scenes, apparently the last time the famous actor did so.

The clash of imagery with old monsters trying to scare folks in a modern hotel are interesting. This one is supposed to say something about fate, love and such given its titled is derived from Shakespeare's Scottish play, but the subplots about women, men and some malarkey about love and whatnot are pretty confusing. Karloff does give a heartsick young woman a sweet speech about the nature of love at one point, but I'm still confused about how this all ties up.

But while they are trying to make the whole thing tie up it really just ends with each of the great actors getting a send off deserving of his status.

The show is diverting, the old actors are fun, but it's only as a curiosity that I can recommend this one, but I do recommend it.

Here's the episode in four parts.









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