Jack H. Harris Presents Star Slammer - The Escape!

Man does this movie suck! The Adventures of Taura: Star Slammer - The Escape also known as Prison Ship among other things attempts to be a deep space adventure. This nitwit movie is all about a dame named Tara who is of all things, a miner on a planet named Arous. But the powers that be want whatever it is they are mining there and send their bully boys to push the miners out. It takes very little time and before you know it our heroine in in custody in space. Once there, this becomes a sci-fi version of every women's prison movie you've ever seen, but with less nudity. (Our heroine takes her shirt off twice.) The women act like bitchy cheerleaders more than actual prisoners. 

I might talk about who is in this one, but I've never heard of any of them. John Carradine makes one of the shortest cameos ever, appearing as a ghostly judge handing down the sentence. If he's on screen ten seconds, I'd be surprised. Aldo Ray is in it a wee bit longer, though he's nearly unrecognizable under extremely heavy make-up. Fred Olen Ray is the director, and this movie is rather typical for him, though usually the women in his movies have bigger boobs. (Am I obsessing about breasts in the post -- maybe.) Ray made the movie in only a few days at the ramshackle Roger Corman studio and Jack H. Harris fronted him some cash to finish the movie. The movie is mostly just a bunch of cliches from prison movies. 

This is not a movie you should waste your time on, unless like me you are craven little snit who has to see every appearance or film by a given actor or director or in this case producer. Be better. Do something with your life before it's too late. 

Believe it or not, next it's The Blob yet again!

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Watch The Skies - The Cosmic Man!

The Cosmic Man from 1959 is a vintage sci-fi knock-off of the much more esteemed The Day the Earth Stood Still, but that doesn't mean that this little cheapie doesn't have some distinctive charms of its own. Among the two strongest things working in the favor of this science fiction flick are the fine acting jobs turned in by John Carradine and Bruce (formerly Herman Brix) Bennett. Any movie that sports not only a former Dracula but also a former (and arguably best) Tarzan can't be all bad. And this movie is far from that.

(Cosmic Carradine in disguise)

The story is pretty simple. A giant alien orb appears in a relatively remote California canyon and is quickly surrounded by the military while it hovers a few feet above the ground imperious to harm. From that intergalactic sphere there emerges "the Cosmic Man" (actually called that in the story several times) who wanders the countryside raising a ruckus, scaring half-naked girls, and making the military even more resolute to take firm action.

(Bennett thinks hard about the problem)

Actually the "Cosmic Man" (Carradine) is benign and shows up here and there, sometimes in disguise, to comment on the action and to slightly miss talking to Dr.Karl Sorenson (Bennett) who argues consistently for restraint and understanding when it comes to the alien. (I'm guessing Carradine never shot at the same time as Bennett since they don't share any scenes together exactly.) Very much in the tradition of The Day the Earth Stood Still, the Cosmic Man evokes a Christ-like quality when he heals the precocious Ken (Scotty Morrow), the crippled son  of obligatory love interest Kathy Grant (Angela Greene) who happens to own the Grant Lodge where much of the action centers.

(The alien orb hovers as the cast looks on helplessly)

A lot of the time of this movie is taken up with conversation, often by Sorenson, a scientist and former military man, who seeks peaceful solutions since his days as a researcher helping to develop the atomic bomb. In these post-war days, his guilt over that creation informs his approach, in spite of the fact it throws him into conflict with the military, often personified by Colonel Mathews (Paul Langton). Also on hand is the spritely Lyn Osborn (Space Partol and Invasion of the Saucer Men) as a slight-comedy relief sergeant named Gray. Tragically Osborn died soon after shooting this movie.

The Cosmic Man is a movie that never gets off simmer, though it approaches a boil once and again. Just when you think it's going to bubble over, it slows down and the talking sets in again. That sounds more critical than I mean. I found I enjoyed this movie, it had some decent banter and the ideas weren't unimportant. Despite its lack of budget this movie doesn't shirk a desire to talk about some important things, and that's just how we might as people respond to changing the world around us. In 1959 this was pretty heady stuff, but then again when is it not.

This is the first of three reviews from the DVD set Watch the Skies from Image Entertainment.

NOTE: This is a Dojo Revised Classic Post. 

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Captive Wild Woman!

Acquanetta is the star of Captive Wild Woman and this weirdo Universal horror flick which focuses most of its attention on a pipsqueak circus and the wannabe lion tamer (brave and stout) who is eager to make his bones and is not squeamish about making use of a lovely woman who casts a spell on the savage critters but never speaks a word. Milburn Stone plays the lion tamer and the always enchanting Evelyn Ankers is his main squeeze. That causes some problems when Acquanetta's character gets jealous, because she's not what she seems. She's a gorilla.

John Carradine steals this movie in my mind as one of the maddest scientists yet, a man willing to kill any number of women to see that his theories about glands and such is proven. He takes a stolen gorilla, uses the gland secretions of a living woman,  and the brain of a dead one to fabricate his "Gorilla Girl" played by the alluring Acquanetta. The small-time Dr. Moreau is as callous as he's ever been (and that's saying some since Carradine's played some real baddies) and does what he wants, the lives of others be damned.

The movie is loaded with a lot of lion and tiger action, so if that stuff ain't your bag give this one a dodge. Clyde Beatty is really doing the dangerous work that Stone is pretending to do and it looks harrowing enough without throwing a pugnacious gorilla-girl into the mix. In the final analysis I got the sense this movie was about men using women to get what they want and that ain't always what they should have.

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Return Of The Ape Man!

When is an "ape man" not an "ape man"? When that "ape man" appears in the 1944 flicker Return of the Ape Man. This is one of those delightfully awful movies from the poverty row side of Hollywood and it stars Bela Lugosi, John Carrdine and George Zucco (almost). The final name appears only momentarily in the movie, but was taken ill and replaced by a bloke named Frank Moran.

Moran plays the title role, but alas is only an ancient caveman and not anything really much like an ape. From some of the dialogue and even the movie's title card one gets the sense a different creature was intended. Moran is mildly menacing at times, but hardly an "ape man".

He was defrosted from some Arctic ice by scientists Lugosi and Carradine who went looking specifically for a cave man in ice. Now it's worth pointing out that this movie has no apparent connection to the earlier Lugosi effort titled The Ape Man.

Lugosi's scientist is properly mad and murderous and ends up dissolving his partnership with the much more easygoing Carradine in the most macabre manner. There are some younger folks to fill in as hero and heroine, but the story is hapless from the get-go with plot holes easily fixed which were not. The scenes are all on stages aside from some images of glaciers falling apart and the scenes are just dumb. Almost as dumb as the police, who will shoot at nearly anything at anytime. You'd almost think Ed Wood had something to do with this mess.

But that said, I found a few things here and there to hang some fun on. If you can see this one for free, it's worth a fan's time, but don't pay much for it unless you're obsessive like I am.

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The Black Sleep!

The Black Sleep has been that one horror flick which has eluded me for years and years. Until recently, I'd never seen this final stab at classic horror by some of the screen's classic names. You'd think a movie loaded with the likes of Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney, John Carradine, and even Tor Johnson would be a true horror pleasure. But you'd be wrong.

Despite an amazing assembly of talent, including the lead villain Basil Rathbone, this movie rarely gathers any momentum and just when it does, it stifles it with an abrupt and truncated finale which only serves to tie up loose ends and not all of those really.

The story is really rather a simple one. A mad scientist (Rathbone) in a deluded attempt to save his comatose wife who needs brain surgery assembles  a cadre of practice patients to do brain surgery upon. He works through a local tattoo artist and body snatcher and uses two nurses (one loyal and one not) along with another doctor who he has helped escape the gallows. This team of specialists wander around a classic castle filled with dungeons and operating rooms hidden behind giant fireplaces. Eventually his subjects get loose and all hell breaks loose.

The biggest problem with this movie is that despite a large ensemble cast, most of the actors don't actually talk or say much of anything of interest. Only four characters have much to do and much of that makes little sense in the long term. Much of the screen time in the middle of the movie is taken up with mind-numbing talk about the physiology of the brain with charts and posters and such used as static visual guides. 

I've waited many years to see this movie and frankly despite the grand cast it was disappointing. A missed opportunity to get some great stuff from some infamous actors falls into the trap of merely trading on their names for an advertising stunt. It was truly unfortunate.

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Radiation Theater - Invisible Invaders!

Invisible Invaders from 1959 is a hilariously wild and funny science fiction flick which blends radiation with zombies and alien invaders to create a heady brew. It pretends to be a moralistic tale about the desperate nature of nuclear weapons but what it really is, is a booster film for war yahoos everywhere.

A respected scientist named Professor Noymann (John Carradine) is blown up by a beaker of atomic stuff and at his funeral his colleague Dr.Penner (Paul Tonge) has doubts about the use of nuclear energy for defense. His daughter Phyllis (Jean Byron) is by his side as well as his protege Dr. Lamont (Robert Hutton). When the reanimated corpse of Noymann shows up at Penner's door to tell him the Earth is doomed, he sends Lamont to Washington to pass the word and he is immediately ridiculed.

Then the Invaders start killing people in stock footage accidents and using the reanimated corpses to pass along additional warnings at hockey games (believe it or not) and sports stadiums. Eventually the world believes thee is a threat as stock footage fires break out all across the world. The three folks we've already met are shuttled to an undisclosed location by Major Bruce Jay (John Agar) to help develop a defense against the Invaders who are invisible when not animating the dead.

They putter about with Jay and Lamont getting into sundry pissing contests with Lamont coming across usually as a cowardly wimp. That leaves he-man Jay to win the evident affections of the largely useless Phyllis. Eventually of course they figure a counter to the threat, but not before they do a ton of stupid things in a myriad of stupid ways.

This is a stupid movie, made for a song but it is reasonably well cast. It is directed by Edward Cahn but it doesn't feel that far away really from the notorious Plan 9 From Outer Space by the exotic Edward Wood. In fact if both of them weren't from the same year, I'd suspect Wood had seen this one. This one has better acting and stronger set design, but the limited way they constrain the action to a few interior sets and some unconvincing countryside makes for a very static looking movie.

Agar plays his generally annoyed character while Hutton always looks like he's trying to think  of his next line. I think he's going for pensive, but it doesn't always work. There's countless oddities in this movie, but I'll let you discover those for yourself. This one should be seen by anyone who likes an entertaining bad movie.

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The Cosmic Man!

The Cosmic Man from 1959 is a vintage sci-fi knock-off of the much more esteemed The Day the Earth Stood Still, but that doesn't mean that this little cheapie doesn't have some distinctive charms of its own.
Among the two strongest things working in the favor of this science fiction flick are the fine acting jobs turned in by John Carradine and Bruce (formerly Herman Brix) Bennett. Any movie that sports not only a former Dracula but also a former (and arguably best) Tarzan can't be all bad. And this movie is far from that.

Cosmic Carradine in disguise

The story is pretty simple. A giant alien orb appears in a relatively remote California canyon and is quickly surrounded by the military while it hovers a few feet above the ground imperious to harm. From that intergalactic sphere there emerges "the Cosmic Man" (actually called that in the story several times) who wanders the countryside raising a ruckus, scaring half-naked girls, and making the military even more resolute to take firm action.

Bennett thinks hard about the problem

Actually the "Cosmic Man" (Carradine) is benign and shows up here and there, sometimes in disguise, to comment on the action and to slightly miss talking to Dr.Karl Sorenson (Bennett) who argues consistently for restraint and understanding when it comes to the alien. (I'm guessing Carradine never shot at the same time as Bennett since they don't share any scenes together exactly.) Very much in the tradition of The Day the Earth Stood Still, the Cosmic Man evokes a Christ-like quality when he heals the precocious Ken (Scotty Morrow), the crippled son  of obligatory love interest Kathy Grant (Angela Greene) who happens to own the Grant Lodge where much of the action centers.

The alien orb hovers as the cast looks on helplessly

A lot of the time of this movie is taken up with conversation, often by Sorenson, a scientist and former military man, who seeks peaceful solutions since his days as a researcher helping to develop the atomic bomb. In these post-war days, his guilt over that creation informs his approach, in spite of the fact it throws him into conflict with the military, often personified by Colonel Mathews (Paul Langton). Also on hand is the spritely Lyn Osborn (Space Partol and Invasion of the Saucer Men) as a slight-comedy relief sergeant named Gray. Tragically Osborn died soon after shooting this movie.

The Cosmic Man is a movie that never gets off simmer, though it approaches a boil once and again. Just when you think it's going to bubble over, it slows down and the talking sets in again. That sounds more critical than I mean. I found I enjoyed this movie, it had some decent banter and the ideas weren't unimportant. Despite its lack of budget this movie doesn't shirk a desire to talk about some important things, and that's just how we might as people respond to changing the world around us. In 1959 this was pretty heady stuff, but then again when is it not.

This is the first of three reviews from the DVD set Watch the Skies from Image Entertainment.

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The Fall Of The Western Vampire!

I've been watching vampire movies all week. One particular sub-category of vampire movie that apparently has been somewhat popular is the vampire western. What's odd is that according to the commentaries by the directors on some of them, everyone thinks they thought this up for the first time, and that blending the two genres is a somewhat unique idea. It's been around a while.

The first one that I'm aware of is Curse of the Undead starring Eric Fleming. I don't own a copy of this movie, and I wish I did. It's apparently not available on dvd yet. I remember seeing it on Saturday afternoons when I was a kid, and being pretty dang frightened by this classic blend of two genres. This is an old fashioned western and an old fashioned vampire movie in one. It gets very good reviews, and I'd love to see it again.


One I have seen pretty recently, and might even have a copy around here of is Dracula Meets Billy the Kid. This ain't a good movie really, but it's got some very fun campy bits with an old John Carradine as the Count trying to find his way among all the cowpokes. It's more a curiosity than anything else.


Near Dark is a movie I've been hearing about forever. It's always one I wanted to see and it comes highly recommended. As a western it's a bit of a letdown, but it's not a half-bad vampire movie. The setting is the modern west and this is really a love story. A young man meets a mysterious young woman who changes him into a vampire, though that word is never used. He is kidnapped by her "family" a gang of vampires who roam the landscape seeking victims and just trying to get by. They are a disaffected bunch of different types, some cruel and some kind, but all willing to harvest humans as necessary.

Bill Paxton and Lance Henrikson are in this movie and they aren't bad as murderous vamps, but the whole deal never really comes together for me like I expected. Now that I've seen it a few times, I might get to liking it better, but I'll admit to being underwhelmed the first time through. The ending isn't all the compelling and frankly to my mind undermines some of the themes which the movies attempts to establish. The movie always simmers, but never really comes to a boil.


Another movie that taps this blend of genres is John Carpenter's Vampires. This is based on a John Steakely novel of the same name and essentially according to Carptenter was an attempt to have the Wild Bunch meet Dracula in the modern world. It's a rough and violent movie, but I've always found Carpenter's stuff to be my cup of tea. This movie starring James Woods as a very bitter and sadistic vampire hunter really makes you look hard and fast for a hero. This is a more existential battle, with vampires more akin to a rat infestation than a supernatural menace.

There are some nifty turns in the plot, and I always find myself caring more for the fate of the lovely Sheryl Lee who becomes a vampire against her will during the course of the movie.

There is a sequel titled Vampires: Los Muertos that stars Jon Bon Jovi and is better than it probably ought to be given its budget limitations. I actually like this one okay, but it's necessary to overlook its flaws.


The most famous of the "western vampire" movies is probably From Dusk Till Dawn by Quentin Tarrantino and Robert Rodriquez starring George Clooney and Harvey Keitel. This is an unabashed exploitation recreation which pits a pair of murderous brothers and a single-parent family against a mob of misbegotten Aztec vampires. It's got a lot going for it and features some really smart movie making and some better than average acting. The movie is extra gory and that's not something that I necessarily need, but it's not a problem either.

It's produced two sequels. From Dusk Till Dawn 2 - Texas Blood Money is a heist film but with vampires. It's a quickly-paced low-budget item with some fun set pieces, but it doesn't really succeed completely as a full story. There's an incredible amount of gore in this one, and it actually becomes distracting, hurting the overall effect of the movie. I do like it for what it is, a harmless distraction.

The second sequel is actually a prequel titled From Dusk Till Dawn 3 - The Hangman's Daughter and this is an actual western set in the time of the old west. This one does a good job of establishing itself and does offer a wonderful idea of having Ambrose Bierce become one of the main protagonists in the flick. It's a clever notion and gives the movie some points in my book. This is another exceedingly gory movie, but the gore seems more necessary in this one. Some really good acting jobs make this not a bad flick at all.

So as you can see there have been a great many "vampire westerns" and I'm probably forgetting some. It's a sub-genre that generates some pretty interesting diversions. Good stuff by and large. I just wish the directors would quit taking credit for "inventing" it.

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Old Wolves Tale!

The Howling is a clever werewolf movie. It's very self-aware, but unlike some films which recognize their context, this one doesn't get bogged down with marking the cliches. It simply operates smartly in a the broader scheme, and offers its alternative.

The main notion of course is that werewolves are among us and like many folks in the modern world have to find a way to fit into a modern world that might not immediately seem friendly. The werewolves of The Howling aren't limited by things like full moons, but are susceptible to silver bullets and the can be burned. That is if they pose a threat, which as it turns out not all of them do.

I assume most folks have seen this 1980's classic, so I'll not offer up any technical spoilers. On the off chance you haven't, tread carefully past this point.


The key to the success of this movie, and fully intentional according to Joe Dante the director, is that they didn't want the thing to become a werewolf movie immediately. The story begins like a crime drama dealing with a serial killer (Robert Picardo) who contacts a pretty and famous TV reporter to shout out the world. The meeting turns tragic and the killer is "killed" and the reporter traumatized. She and her husband fall into the care of a psychologist (Patrick MacNee) who sends to "The Colony", a remote area where his patients are recuperating.

The place is riddled with werewolves, in fact the only ones not already infected are the reporter and her husband. The killer returns, more reporters get involved and quite a bit of death and mayhem ensue. The ending ain't really a happy one by any stretch, but is oddly satisfying for a horror flick.

Dee Wallace Stone is the reporter and she fairly glows in this very early part. Apparently it was this role that got her noticed and in E.T. where she became briefly a household name. Her fiance plays her husband in this this one, and they do in fact get married and were so for many years until his death.

The highlight of this movie for me though is always John Carradine. He's simply outstanding in a medium-size role as an older werewolf who is trying to find a way to fill out his remaining days with some dignity. His struggle is really the essence of what the story is about, and his age suggests he's the kind of werewolf we are all familiar with from the old movies. He does some dandy acting in a role that must have hit close to home for an actor of his years and experience.

The Howling is a movie that most often gets discussed because of its special effects. That stuff frankly bores me. I like good special effects, but rarely do I watch a movie just for that. The story has to work, and the solid story and really good acting in The Howling gets overlooked as just a good movie I think as people discuss yet again how impressive the transformation scenes are. They are, but without the story it doesn't matter.

If you haven't seen this one in a while, I highly recommend it.

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Blood Of Dracula's Castle!

What a movie this is!

I've never seen this 1969 drive-in B-movie before yesterday evening. I was waltzing through my local Wal-Mart and checked out the discount movies and found a wonderful collection of trash called Gorehouse Greats and was especially attracted by the movie title The Blood of Dracula's Castle. When I saw the name John Carradine I knew I had to watch.

It was fantastic! Fantastically bad that is, in a wonderful wacky way. First let's assert that there's nothing remotely scary about this movie. It has a castle located somewhere either in a forest or a desert (it changes) occupied by Count Dracula (not played by Carradine for goshsakes) who goes by the name of "Townsend". He and his wife live a life of repose like some Florida retirees or something drinking blood from goblets supplied by their butler George (Carradine) who gets the stuff from girls chained in the basement and watched over by giant Fankenstein wannabe "Mango". There's also another member of the brood named Johnny who escapes prison and after much running ends up back at the castle in time to meet the new owners. They are a hip young couple who have just inherited the castle and want to take possession. Needless to say they don't know what they are in for. Johnny may or may not be a werewolf, the version I have doesn't show that, but apparently one version does. So this is for all intents and purposes a late 60's "Monster Rally" movie.

The fact that no scene really takes place at night really undermines any meager attempt there might be at tension or suspense. There are some passable stunts and the guy playing Johnny is way over the top and neatly so. The movie has the young couple touring Marineland at the beginning of the movie and I'm sure this is probably the only movie that has Dracula and a dolphin in the same flick.

One thing I'll give them points for is the way it starts. There's this upbeat music playing as a girl drives along carefree. We listen to it for a long time then she breaks down and it continues right up until she meets Mango, the tune and tone shift if only briefly before we go to Marineland. These shifts are peculiar and offer at least a smidgeon of surprise. If somehow you didn't know you were watching a horror flick at the beginning you might be a wee bit surprised by the abrupt change.

John Carradine is perfectly okay in this. He does what he's asked and lives up his dual role as immoral butler and apparent priest of "Luna" the Moon god he and apparently the Draculas worship. It's out there man for sure.

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The Unearthly!

I'll admit I picked this movie up for two reasons -- John Carradine and Tor Johnson. In fact it's the fact that Tor plays "Lobo", the same character he presumably played in the Ed Wood movies that first made me notice this movie at all. I just for my own amusement presume that this is the first Lobo movie and after this he hooks up with Bela as his lab assistant and whipping boy in those Wood epics.

So how does this rank in the "Lobo Trilogy"? It's pretty tepid. John Carradine is in fine form in this one, and the other actors are fine. The ladies are pretty and heroes are intrepid enough. The pieces are all here, but this thing rarely gets up and runs, preferring to amble or simply sit and chat at the clock ticks by.

Too little actually happens in this movie. A beautiful young woman played by Alison Hayes needs psychological help but her doctor betrays her and turns her unknowing over to a mad scientist played by Carradine who with his assistant Lobo and some love-struck nurse are kidnapping and murdering people to get glands that will presumably give people eternal life. In this cause the scientist has a lab full of his creations, mistakes during his research. The pitiful part is that we don't get to see this gang of freaks until the very very end of the movie. Most of the time on screen is taken up by an undercover cop played by Myron Healey running around gathering evidence I presume though he seems to know pretty much the whole scam from the get-go. There are zombie wannabes in this one, and some ersatz gravedigging, but by and large this is a rather dull little flick.

It's not a hopeless cause, but it's not got the idiotic charm of a Wood movie nor the sleek polish of a classic horror film. It's a bland in-betweener.

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