Sorry, mate, I’m busy today. I only have a day and a half in Singapore and I intend to get around the city on foot and shoot as many photographs as I possibly can. It’s mid-December and the city looks beautiful and the sun is shining and yes, it’s too warm for me, but I’ll turn my collar up, sip iced water and continue walking because each step brings me another image for my camera.
Yes, I’m sure it’s great to do a bungee jump. But I’ve got another international flight to catch tomorrow afternoon, followed by a road trip of several hours on northern Indian highways, then a family reunion and a wedding to attend. Then I’ve got to get into reverse gear and do it all again and get home in just five days. That’s a lot of travel and not a lot of time.
Yes, I do have the spirit of adventure flowing in my veins. Honest, I have. I never blink when I’m faced with a challenge. But next time I’m in Singapore I promise to come straight here, pay my money and do the Xtreme Swing slingshot. No, I won’t go shopping first. No, I won’t even go sightseeing. I’ll get into a cab at Changi airport and tell him to bring me straight here.
No, of course I’m not scared. Mate, did I ever tell you about the time I faced a charging grizzly? I did not flinch. I did not take a backward step. I just stood there, switched on my camera and took a shot of him as he accelerated soundlessly across the dry ground.
Yes, I know the bungee slingshot is safe. But what happens if my wallet falls out of my pocket while I’m doing this caper? Whaddya mean, you’ll take care of my false teeth. I don’t have false teeth. No, I don’t have an artificial leg. Yes, I have normal heartbeat. And yes, of course I have a healthy spine. No, I don’t have a pacemaker.
Let me make a deal with you. Have you ever had a customer who’s done this gig and held onto a camera to shoot photos while he’s strapped in and flailing wildly? No? You haven’t? Okay, I want to be the first. Here’s my down payment. See you next time I’m in Singapore. Don’t forget a special harness to tie my camera to me.
You see, I’m a sucker. You can rope me in to anything. Well, almost anything.
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