Santa Pause

Rudolph The Red-Faced Safety Inspector

Santas in Britain are going on health and safety courses, organised by Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, so they don't hurt themselves balancing children on their knees. Lessons include the correct posture to adopt in their chairs. They are also being taught how to lift heavy presents without doing themselves an injury.

FOOTNOTE: Facing the sack.

Verse And Worse

Random Wit, Errant Rhyme. Not A Literary Crime

Santa explained to Mrs Claus:

Pack the van so it all fits in

Beware their antlers and their paws

And this time remember Blitzen

Loony Limerick Competition #3

It's time for the next instalment of this wacky limerick contest. All you need to do is to think of a last line and leave it in the comments section here. There is a (secret) judge monitoring your entries and waiting to choose the best effort. Extra points will be given for humour and creativity.

• You can enter as many times as you want to
• If you have a brilliant afterthought, you can enter again
• The competition closes 48 hours after this post is published
• The fifth line must rhyme with "Santa" and "canter"
• The judge will not be swayed by bribery (I think!).

Go ahead and have fun ....

Fella with a red suit and bushy beard, said his name was Santa,

Stole a gleaming black-eyed stallion, and rode it at a canter

He declared he was late to deliver the presents,

So he gulped down a dinner of brandy and pheasants

The judge of Loony Limerick Competition #2 was Tiffany Norris and she's chosen Bubba's Sis as the winner with this stirling effort ....

She dreamt all her life of an ocean cruise,

Aboard the Queen Mary, with great cabin views,

So when she did marry

Her husband did carry

Her straight to the pier from the pews.

Tiffany also nominated two other efforts for special mentions: Katy Did Not for the line "Mint-flavored Dramamine chews" and Akelamalu for the line "Her over the threshold to tumultuous Yahoos!".