Heaven Help Us

Almighty Row Over Attempt To Sue God

If God fought the law, would the law win? That's the question being asked in the US by Senator Ernie Chambers, who sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considered frivolous, Senator Chambers said he was trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody. The Omaha senator is seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.

FOOTNOTE: So help me, God.

Not, Not, Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door

Dearer, My God, To Thee

George Burns and John Denver in the film `Oh, God!'

The feedback was so swift on the post God Forsaken a few hours ago that my thoughts turned to the Oscar-nominated 1977 movie Oh, God!.

The comedy/fantasy was directed by Carl Reiner and starred the late George Burns as a plaid-shirted, cigar-smoking, plain-speaking God. I’ve always had time for gentle humour and this movie certainly had it in spades. One of God’s more memorable lines in this film was: ``Moses had such a bad memory I had to give him tablets."

The film had an interesting cast, with the late John Denver as the none-too-religious supermarket assistant manager Jerry Landers, Dinah Shore as herself and even Donald Pleasance, whose role was a mere two lines.

One of the many dry quips delivered by Burns in the title role comes when Jerry Landers objects, ``I don’t even go to church.’’ God replies, ``Neither do I’’. And there’s even a sporting reference - ``The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea.’’

And when God takes the stand, he takes the oath in memorable fashion - ``I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, me.’’

God Forsaken

Imagine, There's No Heaven

A Romanian convict's legal action against God has failed, because prosecutors said they could not find God's address. Pavel Mircea, from Timisoara, who is serving a 20-year sentence for murder, launched legal action against God two years ago. In his legal claim he stated: "God and I closed a contract when I was baptised and God did not respect his part of the deal. He was supposed to protect me from all evils and instead he gave me to Satan who encouraged me to kill." He demanded financial compensation as well, but prosecutors solemnly said: "We could not find God's address. He has no home address."

FOOTNOTE: Pray, tell.