Uproar Over The Morning Paper

Petition Delays Christmas Rollout

Polish consumers are organising a petition demanding a Christmas loo roll be banned. The festive toilet paper on sale in Lublin by pharmacy chain Rossman has been branded "repulsive and base''. It features pictures of reindeers and stars and little messages in English saying "Merry Christmas''. A spokesman for the Lublin youth chaplaincy that is organising the petition said: ``This could only have been dreamt up by someone exceptionally thoughtless.'

FOOTNOTE: "Ass you like it" (sorry Mister Shakespeare).