Showing posts with label amicus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amicus. Show all posts

Monday, February 16, 2015

Not the Deadly Bees!


Because having wings, stingers, and a venom that can apparently kill Britteny Spears, Drew Barrymore, and Macaulay Culkin's character in My Girl, does not mean that a bee ain't short.

Quick Plot: Pop sensation Vicki Robbins has a mental breakdown on live television (today, we'd put an 'exhaustion' diagnosis and move on to the next Mariah), prompting her doctor to order her to rest up in a quiet little rural community known as Seagull Island.

In theory, it should be very easy to catch up on your rest at Seagull Island, since there are exactly five people living on it. Unfortunately, there are also killer bees.


Isn't that the rub? You've found a lovely little cottage where a grumpy couple moodily hosts your stay, a happy dog follows you around before being attacked by killer bees, and a kindly neighbor offers you tea at every moment. Only, you know, the couple is super grumpy, the killer beers kill a happy dog, and the kindly neighbor REALLY wants you to have his tea.



Don't worry though: if at all you get confused and forget what happened during the 85 minute runtime of The Deadly Bees, not one but TWO montages will refresh you on all the key plot points.

The Deadly Bees is an Amicus adaptation of a mystery novel and, well, it's a rather dull affair. I can forgive silly-looking bee attacks filmed in 1966 if they had any real narrative weight. If you're curious what a bee attack filmed in 1966 might look like, follow me along:
Swarm!

Closeup of character getting scared



Swarm!

Closeup of character swatting a bee


Swarm!

Closeup of character scratching at a toy bee glued to his or her face


Swarm! 

Character superimposed in front of SWARM!

I'm a forgiving genre fan: that process didn't bother me in the least. What bothered me was how an 85 minute film could feel like Lawrence of Arabia.

The film starts off promisingly enough, although yes, I most definitely say that because it includes extreme closeups of a Beatles-like band called The Birds (but not The Byrds). Aha! I smiled, feeling smart. I GET IT! The Birds because this movie is about BEES! It's just like that time I realized the Chipmunks and the Chippettes each had a character named for a Roosevelt and thought that making that connection made me the smartest person in the ninth grade.



Except, I dunno, maybe the band was just named The Birds.

The Deadly Bees is a mystery film, but because the suspect pool is so tiny, it never holds much suspense. The resolution is as simple as spilling an open jar of liquid out of stupidity, despite this happening to a character that had just proven itself to be exceedingly smart. Ah well. At least the dog was cute.


High Points
Man, what a wonderfully embittered middle age wife Catherine Finn played as Mrs. Hargrove. The actress inject so much disgust towards her husband and life in general that I genuinely longed for a spinoff one-woman show where she sings Elaine Stritch numbers on a cigarette ash-coated piano

Aside from Finn, you know who worked hardest? That super angry instrumental score, that's who!

Low Points
Zzzzzzzz




Lessons Learned
When smoking out killer bees, remember not to smoke yourself out as well


When smoking out killer bees, remember not to smoke yourself out as well 


(yes, Ijust said that, but since the character in question did this twice in a row over the course of ten minutes, I figured it warranted repeating)

Rent/Bury/Buy
I don't recall the MST3K episode on The Deadly Bees, but I'll just make a blind recommendation to say that if you HAVE to watch bees sort of attack a bunch of dull Brits, do it in the company of Crow T. Robot. 



Thursday, February 13, 2014

An Effigy In a Turtleneck


The laws of the universe are very clear when it comes to horror anthologies, and even more Windex-sprayed crystal when said anthologies are included in February’s Shortening:

You must have a doll story.


While past entries here at the Doll’s House include the ventriloquist laden Dead of Night and punchy puppet tale Screamtime, this year’s installment comes to us in a more subdued format with only a minor brush of dolldom. Let’s see if 1974’s From Beyond the Grave survives the month:

Quick Plot: Based on the stories of Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes, From Beyond the Grave tells four tales carefully linked by Temptations Limited, an intriguing little antique shop run by the great Peter Cushing. With the motto “Offers You Cannot Resist,” Temptations Ltd. attracts a varied clientele of a slightly disingenuous nature.


Our first customer is none other than David Warner in the form of a slippery bargain hunter who slyly talks Cushing down on the price of a valued antique mirror. As you might guess, holding a séance revolving around an antique mirror that you conned out of creepy Peter Cushing is not going to have the happiest of conclusions.


The next tale is titled “An Act of Kindness” and beings cheerily enough as Christopher, a bored office manager with a miserable wife and distant child, befriends a poor veteran selling matches. Since said poor veteran is played by Donald Pleasance, Christopher finds himself desperate to impress the man, lying about having served in the war with the help of a military medal bought under false pretences from our new favorite antiques shop. Such service claims help worm Christopher into the heart of his new friend’s daughter Emily (played by the Juliet Landau-esque Angela Pleasance).


It’s here where the tag ‘doll’ probably found its way into From Beyond the Grave, as An Act of Kindness sees miniature wedding cake toppers as key in its big finish. There’s also a brief, but well-executed act of violence involving a miniature effigy wearing a turtleneck. ‘Miniature effigy wearing a turtleneck’ is, as you’d imagine, close to being the greatest word sequence ever typed. The fact that this segment has a naughty twist is really just gravy.


Next up is “The Elemental,” wherein the jerky Reggie tries to swindle Mr. Cushing by switching price tags on an inexpensive snuff box. This leads Reggie down a possessed path of sorts that forces him to enlist the aid of a kooky psychic and her exorcism skills.


Last but not least is “The Door.” In the final tale, a young man named William buys the titular hinged fixture from Cushing and debates dipping his British hands into the open and full cash register. Not surprisingly, said door seems to open an entryway into a netherworld of sorts haunted by a genuinely creepy murderous occultist.


A late Amicus production, From Beyond the Grave was the first feature film directed by Kevin Connor, a man who went on to work steadily in television after the memorable Motel Hell.  While this film steers fairly clear of the all-out camp of that film, it does manage to have quite a healthy dose of naughty humor about it. The stories have a pleasant (or Donald Pleasance) balance of winks and scares, making From Beyond the Grave a nice little treat for the anthology enthusiast.

Lessons Learned
An office manager is just a jumped up clerk

A woman hath a more enduring quality


Subways are generally packed with evil elementals (not that we didn’t already know this)

Don’t ever try to eff with Peter Cushing. Not only can he slit your throat with those cheekbones, but he also most likely has supernatural control over everything he touches and will ensure you suffer a grisly comeuppance


Rent/Bury/Buy
It’s surprising that From Beyond the Grave doesn’t come up more often in discussions about anthologies. While it’s far from the great entertainment of something like Creepshow or brilliant twistiness of its closer peer Asylum, this is a tight little ride with no real dull spots. Throw in a cast of genre-friendly faces, a few true surprising twists, some effective moment of eeriness, and an effigy wearing a turtleneck for a darn good night of atmospheric horror.

Shortening Cred: Though the dolls of “An Act of Kindness” didn’t quite prove to be the driving force behind some of the terror, From Beyond the Grave remains the most recent film in my memory to feature an adorable effigy wearing a wool turtleneck. Happy February!