The More Things Change...

 

One of our last few beautiful natural resources remaining on this rapidly declining planet is Turner Classic Movies, aka TCM, the cable channel that airs such a glorious grab bag of film. Whenever a genre title I haven't seen comes up on the guide, you can bet my DVR I'm going to record it. 

Quick Plot: Four very white men embark on a mission to circle Mars. The trip is uneventful until their attempted return, when they hit whatever you call the space version of turbulence and land on an earth-like planet that doesn't feel too friendly.

First comes the dog-sized paper mache spiders (ADORABLE). Then the one-eyed neanderthal-ish gang. Finally, the real horror: a cemetery with gravestones proving this is earth, but an earth a few hundred years in the future following a nuclear holocaust. 

The men are saved by the more "civilized" survivors, a prissy collection of helmet-wearing nerds and Judy Jetson-styled sexy ladies who have formed a society underground. While they're safe in the bunker, there's a clear problem: the men are so weak that reproduction rates are at an all-time low. We need testosterone, STAT!

Did someone say shirtless Rod Taylor? Because we can all certainly use some shirtless Rod Taylor.

Watching World Without End, it's hard not to imagine it framed with silhouettes of a few robots and their human friend. This is a film that SCREAMS Mystery Science Theater 3000 because it hits all of those trademarks that make for a great riff: hand-made special effects, goofy but earnest dialogue, and careful violence that feels cute. This has such a '50s sci-fi vibe that I started watching it in jeans and when it ended, I somehow was wearing a poodle skirt.

Just kidding. Who the hell wears pants in their home?

I enjoyed World Without End. The film was written and directed by Edward Bernds, a man who spent a whole lot of time on Three Stooges projects (which might explain his confusion on how violence works). It's kind of a delight. 

There's some drama and heaviness. One astronaut leaves behind a wife and kids and has to accept that they're long gone, while the very threat of nuclear war underlines the entire story. I don't love how those left on the surface are treated as wild animals, but the film makes a tiny effort towards the end to suggest a brighter future for all. So long as you don't think too hard, World Without End is a pretty fun time.

High Points

Yes, the actual monster makeup and crafting could have used some darker lighting, but this is a movie that just feels so visually fun, especially when we go underground and are treated to, well, this

Low Points

Not surprisingly, the gender balance of a 1950s sci-fi film don't really feel great some decades later

Lessons Learned

The ancients kept most of their secrets in caves

The most effective way of shooting is to put your whole body into it, pushing that gun in the same direction you're firing

Astronauts are very good at understanding the differences between optimists and pessimists

Rent/Bury/Buy

World Without End doesn't have a lot on its mind (although one can always appreciate the unfortunately never-not-relevant nuclear war warning) and that's okay. This is a charming little bite of '50s science fiction that will scratch a very particular itch. 

(Don't) Feed the Birds

You know what's fairly short, at least in terms of human measurements? A bird. Yes, they immediately fly higher than most of our heads, but you know...9 years of Shortenings means I sometimes have to reach (PUN!).

Quick Plot: Small town sheriff Wayne has one last day on the job before he moves to the big city with his scholarly wife for her research work. Naturally, no good cop can retire without experiencing a raging birdemic.

This one comes courtesy of some shifty Mennonite farmers and their overprotective ways. When mad cow corpses get pecked by a gaggle of ravens, chaos reigns faster than you can clear your throat for a proper Hitchcock impression.

Directed by Sheldon Wilson, Kaw is essentially exactly what you want from a Birds-inspired cheapie, right on down to casting good sport Rod Taylor as the kindly town doctor. Canadian treasure Stephen McHattie lends some quality as the town drunk, and the better-than-it-should-be combination of CGI and a few well-trained avian actors makes it clear that we're not playing in Asylum Studios territory.

Still, Kaw doesn't seem to have the resources or ambitions to overcome its baby budget, leaving it as a pleasant enough SyFy Channel bit of entertainment.

High Points
Maybe it's just the recent influx of anything bird-related coupled with the film's obvious low budget, but all in all, Kaw is surprisingly smart about its bird graphics, cleverly blending real birdings with bargain (but passable) CGI 

Low Points
Rod Taylor aside, it's a shame that there isn't more spark to the townspeople, though credit should be given to the fact that a few stray teenagers manage to make it out with personality

Lessons Learned
Never bring a rifle to a bird fight
Mennonites have very bad hearing (and even worse cattle-raising instincts)

Rent/Bury/Buy

Kaw should be a breezy stream, but unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be readily available. I watched it via a "long wait" Netlix DVD queue disk, the benefit of which is that I had a chance to jump into the extras: an affectionate making-of short and a lovely interview between director Wilson and the classy pro Rod Taylor. 

It's still not exactly a movie worth owning, but if you come across a bargain copy, it should satisfy your itch for a bunch of impressively trained raven thespians plucking the life out of a few good-spirited Canadian actors.