Great Moments In Penology--Marvel's Arkham, Apparently!

Guess who's making his prison break?

But how, how did a convicted super-villain get his costume back?!?

"I pretended to crack up! They returned my costume to me in order to calm me down!"

 Yes, that hurts my head, too.

Now I understand all those scenes in Arkham where the inmates are dressed in their costumes!!

Hey, do you think that maybe those guys are faking, too, and that's why they keep escaping?

Dammit, now I've upset Batman!! Sorry, Bruce...

From Amazing Spider-Man #29 (1965)

The Trial Of Lois Lane Part XII--The Gotham Way!

It's a break in the trial, and Superman is offering Lois an alternative to the electric chair:

Well, it is Gotham City, after all--90 percent of the people Batman captures end up pleading insanity, right?

And there is a basis for Lois to plead that way...

Batman the great detective hadn't looked into Lois' past at all before the trial. Worst. Defense. Attorney. Ever.

You would think that some in-between charges like manslaughter or negligent homicide might be thrown out here, as compromises. But nope, It's Arkham or the chair for you, Lois!!

SPOILER ALERT: She refuses the generous offer.

From Lois Lane #100 (1970)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--See, It's Not Just Arkham!!

I know we all think that the revolving door that Arkham Asylum seems to have is a little bit ridiculous...but it turns out that Gotham City is not the only town with a similar problem:

Wow, that was real secure for an asylum.

And yes, he does murder the "girl reporter" later. No, not Lois Lane!!!!

But she wasn't alone...

"Redhanded orgy of slaughter"?!?! 

Geez, maybe they really shouldn't let inmates committed for murder just wander around by the cars at the front entrance!

From Wanted #48 (1952)

Dear Batman #1--More Psychos, Please

From the letters column in Batman #258 (1974):
 

Ohs, nos.

This is fairly ironic, because Batman #258 was the issue that had the very first appearance of Arkham Asylum. Yes, the first--incredibly, Arkham didn't exist in comics prior to 1974!!

So this letter, calling for more stories featuring villains "consumed by their inner demons," literally appears at the dawn of the Arkhamization of Batman's rogues gallery.

Now, I'm not against complex villains. But does every villain have to be "consumed," and nuts? What's wrong with Batman fighting thieves and crooks and gangsters some of the time?

Well, Atone Perry thinks the villain is boring if they're not motivated by "deep emotional reasons." By this school of thought, every villain will end up tortured and complex and buried in Arkham, which will have to house all of Batman's villains and become a joke because then the only way Batman can fight someone is if they escape. This is the school of thought that transforms Joe Chill into the guy who eventually became the Joker.

So come on, DC editor, let your answer nip this in the bud!! Be firm (but polite) and suggest to Antone that there's room for all types of foes in the Batman Universe! Come on, tell him--

Oh, gods, don't put it up to the readers!! D'oh!!

And thus, we were doomed to the crazification of Gotham City. Thank you, Denny O'Neill and Atone Perry.

Play Ball!!

As the World Series approaches, we should probably remind ourselves why Two-Face should never be allowed to play center field:

Similarly, we should acknowledge that Poison Ivy definitely should be allowed to play second base:


OK, so whom are the Arkhamites playing in softball?

You see, after Bane destroyed Arkham Asylum, they had to keep the inmates in Blackgate prison, and the two populations weren't getting along, and...oh, it made a lot more sense back in Showcase '94 #4, by Alan Grant and Tim Sale. And they really should have used that in the video game...

A Couple of Dumb Arkham Questions

From last week's Green Lantern #27:

So, at Arkham they're just letting crazed super-villains sit around cells in their costumes? Including full face masks, which would make swapping identites to facilitate escapes that much easier?

(Just to prove that I can answer my own questions, obviously it's a storytelling shortcut for those GL readers who might not recognize Jonathan Crane out of his business suit. Still...Alternatively, it's a "new therapy." Your choice.)

Second (and more important) question. After decades of failure at rehabilitating Gotham's many nut cases, and indeed of not even being able to hold them securely for more than 5 minutes at a time, why in the world doesn't billionaire Bruce Wayne buy Arkham and improve it? Or raze it to the ground and start over? Or, if it's not for sale, just start his own state of the art facility, staffed with the best shrinks in the world, etc.? This man can build flipping satellites for the JLA, but he lets the festering boil of Arkham continue to ooze on his own home turf??

I know that Bruce Wayne has more or less vanished as a character in the DC Universe, but even so the writers rarely take advantage of some of the story opportunities presented by the fact that Bruce is so rich, Bill Gates borrows cab fare from him...