A Dog With Good Taste?

I'm sorry about this.

This is stunningly immature, even for me.

But some panels, once you see them, can't be unseen, and the only palliative is to share the pain.

In order to protect his "secret identity" from snoopy Lana, Krypto has removed his cape and collar, and doused himself in wood stain...

Puns are the highest form of dog humor.

Oh, dear.

Can we get a close-up on that, Cambot?

Oh, dear.

Have fun with that, Tumblrs.

From The New Adventures of Superboy #10 (1980)

Manic Monday Bonus--Love Is A Bitch If You're Krypto

Thanks to an encounter with a Mindbreaker beast, poor Krypto has amnesia!!

However, that doesn't stop him from having a frolic in Metropolis Central Park with a pretty lady!

But sadly, such joyous interludes are merely transient, even for canines...

Uh-oh...

So, after Superman and Krypto deal with some fairly lame villains...

Well, ti turns out that the female dog, Miss Chelsea, belongs to a man so rich, they even have a butler just for the dog!

So it it true love triumphing over all?

Well, love wins again!

Or does it?!?

D'oh!!

Fortunately for Kal-El, Lois has no such qualms...

I almost titled this post"Dog Of Steel, Bitch Of Kleenex." But I didn't. You're welcome!

From Superman #287 (1975)

Why Dogs Make Crappy Super-Heroes

There is a huge reason why dogs make crappy super-heroes:

Dogs can't stop thinking with their stomachs!

For example, the members of the Space Canine Patrol Agents have just escaped from captivity, and are about to bring down the bad guys, when...

Oops. Gotta stop everything for a bone!!

The worst part?

Yes, the bad guys are anthropomorphic dogs. Yes, Krypto is riding another dog. Silver Age.

So how can Krypto and Chameleon Collie save the others?!?

So dogs can never, ever resist bones. Ever.

All villains have to do is have a cache of bones, and they're home free, apparently.

Which is why dogs make crappy heroes.

[Yes, Krypto stopped them by making them lust after their colleague's bones. This does not bode well for the future of the S.C.P.A. Or at least for the future of Chameleon Collie...]

From Superboy #131 (1966)

Meet The S.C.P.A.!!

So Krypto is flying along in space, when...

Well, Mammoth Mutt dies--yup, not a dream, not a hoax, he bites the bullet--but not before he reveals that the rest of the Space Canine Patrol Agents have been captured.

Krypto allows himself to be captured in order to rescue them...so let's meet the dogs!

Uhh...I'm overwhelmed?!?

Better...

No, they're not "as sensational as the Legion Of Super-Heroes." Except, of course, they haven't been rebooted 17 times...

Anyway, Krytpo has lost his powers [SPOILER ALERT: he's been chewing some gum tainted with "a pinch" of kryptonite. Silver Age], so it's up to the S.C.P.A. to rescue themselves. Are they up to it?

And the battle is on!!

Yes, the bad guys are anthropomorphic dogs. Yes, this creates a Goofy/Pluto situation. Silver Age.

Please, no comments about making a movie version of the "canine centipede." Because ewwwwww.

From Superboy #131 (1966). But there is one reason that doges make crappy heroes. Tune in later this morning to find out why...

They Work For Dogs, Too

So how exactly does a dog keep a secret identity?

Krytpo is on a mission in space to rescue some other hero dogs (more on that later today).  So he needs to let himself be captured by the bad guys, so he can find out where the heroes are being kept. Which means he can't let them know he's Krypto (as opposed to some other hero dog), because of course everyone would know that Krytpo wouldn't be captured so easily.

The only reasonable solution?

The Silver Age, man. The Silver Age.

From Superboy #131 (1966). More Krypto later today...

Kibbles And Bits

A couple of Smallville hoods fresh out of prison decide to get revenge on Police Chief Parker. So, since their cellmate was a dog trainer (!), they decide to train a random to to become "a killer" and slay Parker.

Seriously, this kind of stuff is going on in Smallville, and none of ends up on the damned TV show? WTF?

Well, you can't have dog-related crime without Krypto getting involved. And when the goombas try to erase the evidence...






Good. Dog.

From The New Adventures of Superboy #22 (1981)

Manic Monday--A Boy And His Dog, Part 5

Well, if you read the last entry, you know that Superboy and Krypto were just pretending to hate each other under the influence of red kryptonite, in order to fool the Superboy Revenge Squad.

But they sure sold the hell out of it:

Still another reason Krypto is better than your dog: he obviously has the power of super-acting!! Look at his trembling!! Look at the tongue lolling out!! Let's see Lassie pull that off!!

But wait--it gets better!! From the story's splash panel:

Now that's playing dead!! And you know what sells it? That empty word balloon:

Dudes, again, I'd like to see Rin-Tin-Tin or Frasier's dog or Spuds Mackenzie pull off that empty word balloon bit. And the pet Oscar goes to...

THE END!!

From Superboy #118 (1965), as reprinted in Four Star Spectacular #6 (1977)

Manic Monday--A Boy And His Dog, Part 4

Another reason Krypto is one trillion times better than your dog:

Unless, of course, you can communicate complex messages to your dog by blinking at him in super-speed Morse code. And I'll want to see video evidence.

TO BE CONCLUDED

From Superboy #118 (1965), as reprinted in Four Star Spectacular #6 (1977)

Manic Monday--A Boy And His Dog, Part 3

Why Krypto is so much better than your dog:



Because you can throw him into the sun, and he comes back pissed. Let's see Rex The Wonder Dog do that!

And yes, when you land on the sun, "KERPLASH" is the sound it makes.

(editor's note: SRS= Superboy Revenge Squad. Duh)

TO BE CONTINUED

From Superboy #118 (1965), as reprinted in Four Star Spectacular #6 (1977)

Manic Monday--A Boy And His Dog, Part 2

So, Superboy and Krypto have been driven to despise each other, thanks to red kryptonite.

And what is the biggest dickweed move Superboy could make against his former pal?


Oh, no, you didn't!!

TO BE CONTINUED

From Superboy #118 (1965), as reprinted in Four Star Spectacular #6 (1977)