Tales From The Quarter Bin--What 70s DC Should Have Taught 2012 Disney!

When DC picked up the rights to Edgar Rice Burroughs' characters from Gold Key in the 70s, they wasted no time expanding them empire. The At The Earth's Core back-up strip from Korak and the John Carter Of Mars back-up from Tarzan were very quickly spun off into their own title:

Note that DC took pains to tell readers what the hell this was:

They threw the creator's name on there, along with having his most famous creation "present" the book...and featured Tarzan just hangin' around for no reason on the cover:

They continued on the inside, as the first page continued to remind readers that this was an ERB book, and he created Tarzan, so you're going to love this, dammit!!

And every single issue had Tarzan plastered across the top of the cover, trying to beat the connection into peoples' heads:

Now, this didn't necessarily work: John Carter and David Innes only lasted 7 issues of Weird World, before they were shuffled off to Tarzan Family. The last 3 issues of Weird World featured Iron-Wolf, and then was cancelled (according to Denny O'Neill, because of a paper shortage!).

Contrast that to Disney's disastrous flop with the John Carter movie:

It's Disney's John Carter, you see...and you have to get out the magnifying glass to find ERB's name anywhere on the posters. And you'd think that they would be trumpeting "from the creator of freakin' Tarzan!"

Nope...hell, eventually they even dropped the "Of Mars" from the title. So if you weren't already familiar with the character, the marketing campaign pretty much gave you nothing (not to mention rendering the "JCM" logo meaningless...).

I'm not saying that Disney should have necessarily had a Joe Kubert-drawn Tarzan on the posters saying, "Yeah, I present this!" But a "from the creator of" might have moved a couple of more tickets, not to mention using ERB's actual name, and keeping the word Mars in the title.

Hell, why go small at all? Disney should have gone whole hog, pushing an "ERB Cinematic Universe." Carson of Venus movies. Pelluidar movies. Tarzan movies. Korak movies. Crazy-ass crossover movies!!

But for some reason, Disney seemed, well, ashamed of the pulpy origins of John Carter, and tried like hell to hide it. See how well that worked out?

Manic Monday Bonus--Free Halloween Masks!

Back in the days before fly-by-night Halloween stores popped up in abandoned storefronts every October, people had to get their trick-or-treat costumes the old fashioned way--from cereal boxes!!

Here's a closer look at the masks themselves:

Most interesting is this the inclusion of this guy, from an era before Song Of The South became verbotten:

From Captain Marvel, Jr. #100 (1951)

Super-Hero Comics Have Gone To The Dogs!

I am sooo bored with modern super-hero comics!!

I'm sick of Marvel, tired of DC, the others aren't doing anything for me...oh, what could ever relieve my ennui?

Awwwwwwwwwww

Now, that's more like it!!

How about some origins?

Budderball--Super Strength!!

Mudbud--Invisibility!!

Rosebud--Super Speed!!

B-Dawg (really...B-Dawg?!?)--Super Stretch!!

Buddha--Super Mind Control!!

And of course, the mentor who trained them to use their powers:

Captain Canine!!

Look, you may be mocking this as a silly promotional pamphlet for the latest entry in the never-ending series of Air Bud sequels and spin-offs and etc.

But let me remind you: this is Disney.

Who owns Marvel.

And we are just one heartbeat away the Super Buddies/Pet Avengers crossover that you never knew that you wanted more than anything else in the universe.

And those "Rings of Inspiron" look kinda sorta like Infinity Gems, no...?

Donald Duck--Spaceknight?!?

From the letters page in this week's Avengers Academy, Christos Gage explains why the can use old Rom villains, but not Rom himself:



A few comments:

A) Marvel, you are owned by Disney. You are literally made of money, and have a legal team that could rival the Borg for relentlessness. If you could sort out Miracleman Marvelman, you can do this. Make this happen.

Plus, I've got visions of a Rom/Donald Duck crossover. Make. This. Happen.

B) To whomever is holding the Rom rights: exactly how much coin are those rights making you right now? Are you waiting for Spielberg or Lucas or something? Ain't gonna happen. Something is better than nothing. Plus, a deal with Marvel/Disney virtually guarantees Rom his own show on one of the Disney channels, which in turn means lots of opportunity to re-launch the toy line, so, mega-coin. Make it happen!!

C) You'd have to "change his armor, weapons and name"? Well, you could just call him Shazam...oh, wait...

D) Hey, Marvel/Disney, while you're at it, throw a few buck to the holders of the Sax Rohmer rights, so we can get Fu Manchu back (by name) and finally start reprinting Master Of Kung Fu. And when the hell are you going to relaunch MOKF with Brubaker writing? I'm running out of patience...

Manic Monday--Just How Powerful Is Disney??

You know, when I look at the new "back" of the U.S. penny...

...I can't help but be reminded of this:

Yes, it looks like Captain America's original shield, doesn't it?

Now, maybe that just shows what a demented comics fan I am, with my poor frazzled brain immediately responding with Simon and Kirby imagery to a real-world picture.

But then again, maybe the Disney corporation is so powerful, they actually got the U.S. government to change the back of the penny as a way to subliminally promote the upcoming Captain America movie.

I know which of those option I believe...

I STILL Have Too Many Damn Comics

I hope you've recovered from the terror that was Mushmouse And Punkin Puss, because from the bowels of my collection comes:

Bongo and Lumpjaw???

Hey, come on now, my grandparents never seemed to realize that I was into..."older"...comics, so they were always giving me piles of kiddie comics like this. What, I should throw it out??

Anyway, Bongo was half of two animated shorts Disney released together as the feature Fun And Fancy Free (the one with Mickey And The Beanstalk).

The cartoon was based on a Sinclair Lewis story (really!). Bongo was a trained circus bear who wanted to live in the wild, but when he escaped and got there, he learned it was a lot tougher than it had seemed in his dreams. Lumpjaw was a nasty dickweed of a wild bear who didn't dig Bongo hitting on his chick. Bongo, his unicycle, and his circus trickery helped him prevail over the Biff Tannen of the forest.

So why the hell not put their continuing story in comics? Huh??

This was Gold Key's Walt Disney Showcase #3 (1971), which consisted entirely of reprints from Dell's Four Color #706 (1956) and #886 (1958). ("Four Color" was basically an umbrella title for all the adaptations they published in this era, and they put out anywhere from 3 to 13 issues per month, which explains the big jump in issue numbers in only two years. The series lasted until #1354, so eat that, Action Comics!!).

The art was by Frank McSavage, a name so great he really should have been drawing Sgt. Fury or something.

In the lead story, Bongo knocks out Lumpjaw, paints yellow stripes on him, convinces him that he's eaten so much honey that he's turned into a bumblebee, and sends him off to collect pollen from the flowers so the bees can take a vacation.

Man, I really do have too many comics, don't I?

Hoarding

Something just occurred to me.

Marvel purchased Malibu Comics (reportedly just to get their hands on Malibu's coloring studio...go figure). There were some stumbling attempts to integrate Malibu's books with Marvel's line, but that just sort of faded away. It's been well over a decade since any of the Malibu characters have seen the light of day.

Meanwhile, Disney purchased Crossgen for a piddling $1 million dollars (reportedly just to get the rights to Abadazad). Aside from some reprint collections, it's been 5 or 6 years since Crossgen characters appeared anywhere.

So, now that Disney has acquired Marvel, the Disney/Marvel behemoth controls all the Malibu and Grossgen works...and is doing nothing with them.

Obviously, this is a vast oversimplification, as there is undoubtedly a labyrinth of corporate law, creators' rights, and Odin-only-knows how much gobbledy-gook that, at the very least, is a hindrance to seeing an Ultraforce ride at Disneyworld or a Way Of The Rat/Spider-Man issue of Marvel Team-Up. And, of course, a number of Malibu & Crossgen's book probably aren't worthy of revival.

But as Marvel puts out its 19th Wolverine and 15th Deadpool book each month, just remember--they could be giving you something different. Instead, they're hoarding all these characters and universes, just to keep giving you the same old same old.

Use 'em or lose 'em, Disney/Marvel. Use 'em or lose 'em.

Just A Friendly Reminder...

...Walt Disney now owns Satan.

Fact: Gil Kane did every single Marvel cover from 1973-1975. OK, not literally true, but pretty close...

The MOST Important Disney/Marvel Question

In last week's The Incredibles #0, the bad guys have summoned The Confederacy Of Crime!!

Amongst their members:

OMG.

A mummy...with an eyepatch? Oh, lordy, what nerdvana.

(In full honesty, I initially thought the pipe was overkill, but it's grown on me since).

And this guy's name??

That's right: Cap'n Mummy!!

Please, please, please tell me that Cap'n Mummy's rights will travel along to Marvel!!

(Or, if not, that Boom will work him into Irredeemable as soon as possible!)

By the way, who is that standing behind Cap'n Mummy?!?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Now this guy's gotta meet Two Face!!


Demented joy from Mark Waid/Landry Walker and Marcio Takara. More, please (before it's too late).

Manic Monday--Waiting For The Namor/Little Mermaid Crossover

To think I was worried that I wouldn't have anything to write about today.

Then the news fairy gave me (and everyone else) an unexpected boon.

Now, I'm no guru of high finance, so I really don't have much to say about the bizness aspects of Disney's purchase of Marvel...although, geez, Marvel, you could have told me you were for sale...I could have scraped up $4 billion if you asked.

But I've got a few uninformed, unresearched, and completely ignorant questions.

#1--So, can we infer that Boom's deal for printing comics of Disney/Pixar characters might not be long for this world?

#2--Disney has been willing to let their characters be in odd cross-company crossovers before, most famously the Kingdom Hearts series of games from Square Enix. So it's not 100% crazy to speculate about some Marvel Adventures/Disney fun (OK, 98% crazy). Who wouldn't want to see Disney's Beauty & the Beast meet up with Marvel's Beauty & the Beat, Dazzler and Hank McCoy? Who wouldn't want to see a Sleeping Beauty/Sleepwalker epic? Pocahontas can turn out to have been an ancestor of Red Wolf! A Quasimodo/Quasimodo meeting? A given!! Pinocchio and the Vision could compare notes on being human!! And who wouldn't love to see the Punisher wandering around Wonderland?!?

#3--That being said, Disney does have a reputation for being pretty conservative, and very sensitive to public pressure. One would hope that wouldn't result in any directives from the Mouse House to tone down any of Marvel's more mature offerings. Disney has kept their vow about being hands-off with Pixar, but that easy with children's cartoons. It might be a different story with stories of, say, civil war in heaven and rebellious angels ousting God and demons being the good guys.

#4--Four words: Marvel characters at Disneyworld!!

#5--Marvel's obviously on a run with their recent movies (but please remember, it's only been 2 in a row...so let's not exaggerate how perfect things have been yet). Will Disney let Marvel Studios continue to do their thing?

#6--Disney exacs can blather on about "bringing assets across multiple platforms"--but how about utilizing some of that synergy and efficiency to make the comics cost less than $3.99?!?

#7 (and most important)--Five words: Stan Lee meets Walt Disney!!!