Swing Sisson And The Song Of The Bull!!

You know whom we haven't checked in on forever? Swing Sisson, crime-fighting and adventure having-having big band leader!!

Swing, Bonnie and Toby had just finished for the night, when they encounter a street performer...

Ah, nothing like a fictional island nation to perk up a story!

A jerky leader who hates to be mocked? Tell me more...

Anyway, Swing brings Basil to the club next week to perform...The Song Of The Bull!!

But there's an agent from Flores in the audience!!

Snitch!!

Well, long story short, he does seize Basil and Bonnie...but Swing tracks them down to the swanky hotel where they're being held!

Hmm...tell me more...

But...

Band members rush in to rescue them, but it turns out they weren't needed:

As Basil predicted, Don Toro was literally laughed to death, so vain that he died of shame from being mocked!!!

Wait, Basil--come back!! We need you to write another song of mockery for us!! BASIL!!!

From Feature Comics #139 (1949)

I Went To A Jazz Concert And A Hockey Game Broke Out!!

Hey, gang, it's time to hang with our favorite Golden Age band leader:

They're playing a charity benefit at Madison Square Garden!

Ah, but crooks don't car about British war orphans when there's a tempting target available:

Geez, stealing from orphans and killing cops? Who can ever save the day?

Fortunately...

Uhh...guys...hockey equipment usually isn't bullet-proof. Guys...?

 And the ref won't even call that a penalty!

From Feature Comics #51 (1941)

There Is No Worse Villain Than A Music Critic!

It's time once again for the adventures of that swinging, crime fighting band leader:

Oh, Swing, how we miss you...

But what is the scoop on that "fantastic fiend known as The Maestro"??

(Note the headline in this 1942--"Hitler Killed!" Sorry, Swing creator Phil Martin, you're a few years early)

Insult the magicians? Now that's going to far!!

So how does The Maestro pull off these fiendish capers:

Seriously, this guy is a straight up Justice Society villain!! A tricked up conductor's baton that emits sleeping gas?

But then the man just goes too far:

"Maybe now you will no more come..."?? Sounds like our writer got a little dose of that knock-out gas, too.

But going all Wertham on boogie-woogie and jitterbugging? That's just diabolical!!

But The Maestro doesn't forget the important stuff--

--robbing unconscious folks!!

Truly, he is:

Yes, he's so smart. Because there's no possible way to counter his brilliant modus operandi...

...unless some musicians put on some gas masks!

OH YEAH!!!

The moral of our story: don't dis on Swing's music, brother!!

From Feature Comics #54 (1942)

Golden Age Idol--Swing Sisson!!!!

There are certain genres of action hero who have been lost to the murky depths of time, once superheroes began to dominate the landscape.

And isn't it high time we revived them? Because, frankly, what comic books need today is a swinging bandleader who always manages to find time to bust up crime gangs:

That's right--Swing Sisson, Ace Of The Bandstand, was the Tommy Dorsey of the Quality universe...except this bandleader wouldn't have punked out when the Godfather made him an offer he couldn't refused--he'd have busted up Vito Corleone's gang and been back in time for the evening set!!

You see, in almost every issue of Feature Comics, Swing and the band would just be getting the joint jumping, when:

So, he'd go out and defeat the bad guys:

...and make it back to dedicate a new song to the hoods he's just busted:

How delightful.

Now, you may mock Swing Sisson. After all, who wants to read the continuing adventures of a swingin' crime-fightin' bandleader? Well, apparently Golden Age comics readers, that's who. Swing's run lasted nearly 100 issues in Feature Comics, ending only when that mag folded. He never made the cover, but he outlasted every other feature, including Doll Man!!

Now, the more skeptical amongst you may be asking, how in the heck do you keep the adventures of a crime-fighting jazz band leader interesting for nearly a decade? The answer: occasionally, you get really weird:

Yeah, that's right:

You see, we start with Swing buying some "antique" musical instruments from a really poor auctioneer:

But at the same auction, some low level hoods buy a very special sword:


Yes, in the view of the Golden Age, ancient wizards were really brilliant scientists (whose science somehow got lost in the intervening years, because they forgot to publish or something). And hoods were very touchy whenever their underlings questioned that fact. Ahh, the Golden Age...

Well, it turns out that the sword can cut through anything, so the hoods use it for a crime wave. But Swing's new horn? Baby, it's the Horn of Roland, whose blast can defeat armies by making them drop any iron or steel weapons!! So, when the unstoppable object meets the unopposable force, it goes a little something like this:


And after a round of exposition...

...the "special science" weapons are sent off to languish in the warehouse next to the Ark...

And that was the last Swing Sisson story ever. Which is pretty sad and terrible, because that hep cat could rock both the 1940's night club scene AND the 1940's criminal scene. Swing was king, and I have to believe that there's room in today's comics world for a bopping band leader who is also the scourge of the underworld.

Presumably, DC owns Swing these days (along with all of the other Quality characters). Then again, as far as I can tell, he hasn't even been mentioned in a comic for 50 years, so he very well could be public domain. So anybody out there--start printing Swing Sisson stories now!!

I mean, think about it--a jumping jive band leader, who fights crime every night, and had access to a magic special scientific trumpet that can defeat any modern weapon...that fits right into The Core Marvel Universe...

Swing Swisson panels are from Feature Comics #50 (1941) and #144 (1950).