Manic Monday Bonus--Maybe He Should Print Up Some Pamphlets?!?

It's Flag-Smasher's first appearance.

And, appropriately enough, he smashes some flags!

Well, that seems like a pretty clear message...although he does let it get a bit muddles...

Still, he does a fair job of explaining himself...

But, well, the average listener doesn't get the idea at all:

"Weren't you people listening?"

Now, granted, holding people hostage might not be the best time to instill complex ideas in them.

But maybe Flag-Smasher needs workshop this idea a little, and find a way to better communicate it. A Power Point presentation? Hire a PR firm? Get a celebrity spokesperson?

Because when your audience completely misunderstands you message first time out, that message needs some work...

From Captain America #312 (1985)

Cap's Top 10 Villians (Circa 1992)!!

As picked by Steve Rogers himself...

Can a "super-villain trade union" succeed in states with a "super-villain right-to-work" law?

I love me some Flag Smasher...

SPOILER ALERT: Sharon didn't really die...

A nihilist? Can we see her fight Flag Smasher? A nihilist vs. an anarchist is the battle America has been waiting for!

Obviously, Batroc should be much higher...

If you'd asked me back in 1976 which of Kirby's new Cap villains would "stick," I wouldn't have picked this guy. Just goes to show, you never know...

The Zemos certainly should be higher...

This is certainly a case of "recency bias," someone being put this high on the list because they've fought Cap recently, not because they deserve to be anywhere near this high.

I would have thought a  little bit of the recency bias here, too, but upon further researching I realized that by 1992 Crossbones was pretty well established (though perhaps not yet justifying a spot this high).

Duh.

I was upset the Hate-Monger wasn't on here, but surprisingly enough, as near as I can tell, Cap never faced HM until 2000! Yeah, I know, crazy!

Of course, the biggest question is, where is this guy on the list?

Oh, Druid, how we miss you...

From Captain America Annual #11 (1992)

Friday Night Fights--Winning With Intangibles Style!!

It's time to get bad to the bone for this week's Friday Night Fights...or is it??

The X-Men are scouring the subway tunnels in New York City, looking for Flag-Smasher, who is planting a big-ass bomb. Because that's what he does.

Marrow and Kitty Pryde are the first to find him...

OUCH!!!!

Oh, this is going to hurt...

Wha...?

OHHHHHH, YEAHHHHH, Kitty for the win!!

And every Kitty Pryde fight should, of course, be accompanied by this song:


Spacebooger agrees that Flag-Smasher does sort look like Space Ghost...

Flag-Smasher gets smashed in X-Men Unlimited #22 (1999), by Brian K. Vaughan, Patrick Gleason and Tom Nguyen

Now is the time for you to go and vote for this fight. Why? Dude--Kitty Pryde clobbered Flag-Smasher. Hello!! So go and vote, dang it!!

Flag-Smasher F.A.Q.

Due to many misunderstandings about the brilliant character Flag-Smasher, we interrupt your normal silly comic book blog today to bring you an official Flag-Smasher F.A.Q.!

Q: If Flag-Smasher smashes flags, to what does he pledge allegiance?

A:

Q: Flag-Smasher is the head of ULTIMATUM. Is that some kind of debating society?

A:
Q: So, what does Flag-Smasher think about the European Union, and its adoption of a unified currency, the Euro?

A:
Q: What does Flag-Smasher think of the Chunnel, the under-the-English-Channel tunnel connecting England and France?

A:

Q: Wait--then why does everyone think Flag-Smasher would want to destroy the Chunnel?

A:

Good question.

Q: So, has Flag-Smasher seen a lot of James Bond movies??

A:




Oh, most certainly, he has!!

Thank you, this concludes our presentation.

All panels from Marvel Team-Up #3 (1997)

Even Anarchists Care About Personal Hygiene

Captain America's occasional partner, Dennis Dunphy the Demolition Man, sacrificed himself in a plane crash in the Arctic, and presumed dead.

But this is Marvel, of course, so he was actually frozen in suspended animation in the ice. He's rescued by a tribe of Eskimos, but he's in pretty rough shape, has no memory, and can't talk.

And of course, in this condition he stumble upon Flag-Smasher and an ULTIMATUM base:

Oh, c'mon, dude, D-Man's been through a rough patch. let's not be too critical...

OK, OK, finicky anarchists are really fussy about body odor. But when Falcon rescues him:

Now, for some reason, Marvel writers found this very amusing, and decided to make poor personal grooming the defining characteristic of D-Man's life. When the Avengers return from the "Reborn" universe...

Yes, Namor, the X-Men have never been choosy...they took you in, jerk.

But it's just arrogant putzes Namor and Moondragon who are so snooty:

Oh, come on, guys...he been living with and protecting an underground homeless group. Can't one of you cut him a little slack? And Vision and Machine Man...can you even smell anything in the first place? Sheesh...

And then there's Hercules:


Oh, please, Son Of Zeus. You come from a time well before deodorant and daily bathing and such. You're telling me things didn't get pretty stinky on the Argo, with 80-odd manly men stuffed into one ship on a long voyage?

(And can you lay it on any thicker, Kurt Busiek? How many stink jokes did we need in one issue, anyway?)

Anyway, Marvel writers finally got over their fascination with D-Man's hygiene. So now he's just a mentally unstable lummox who arbitrarily joined the Revengers and has been brainwashed into being the murderer Scourge.

Maybe the stink jokes weren't so bad after all...

From Captain America #400 (1992) and Avengers #1 (1998)