Manic Monday--How Stardust Saved Capitalism!!

We Americans are so lucky that Stardust The Super Wizard is constantly watching out for us!

Their vile plan?

OK, that is one heck of a plan.

But seriously, how can a few "invisible vacuum tubes" capture people, let alone all the wealthiest people?

YOW!

Holy crap!!

The blindfolds are a nice, albeit unnecessary touch...

The world soon finds out that Mark Zuckerberg has been snatched...

Oh, FBI...

How can we afford to pay?!? You snatched all the wealthiest people! The rest of us have no money (by comparison)!!

That's probably why the FBI decides not to pay.

Time for the death-rays!

But...

More modern heroes should have a boomerang ray.

Also, more heroes should have rarifying beams!

Wolf-Eye isn't done yet!

Also, more villains should have gland-control magic.

Not that it does any good against you-know-who:

Yay!!

From Fantastic Comics #5 (1940)

Goldfinger Hates Cephalopods!!

It's been awhile since we checked in with Stardust The Super Wizard. Let's watch how he chills in his crib:

Batman wishes he had such wonderful toys...

Does he really need a crime-detector covering all the planets? Jupiter's been pretty safe for decades now...And "a robbery is being planned on Earth"?? Could you be just a teeny bit more specific, crime-detector?

Not to worry--Stardust knows all:

He's right, you know.

At today's gold prices, that would be over $1 trillion in swag (but Fort Knox stores only about 25% as much gold now as it did back then, so the current swag would only be $229 billion or so).

But how will they pull off this daring heist?

Wait a minute--that's Goldfinger's plan to rob Fort Knox!!!! What the frak?!? Is "Slant-Eyes" really Auric Goldfinger?!?!

And what will they do with those ill-gotten gains?


"Own the Earth"? Really? Fantastic Comics #16 was cover dated March 1941, so it wouldn't be too long until they found out just how "impregnable" their South Seas island was.

Except, of course, Stardust beats the crap out of them first.


And what is Stardust's plan for sufficiently Karmic punishment?









Now, I'm not sure exactly why Stardust had to turn the whole island upside down here. Then again, if you have the power to turn islands upside down, why the heck not, right?

Bonus points for Stardust, because he didn't have to convert any lesbians to foil this attempt to rob Fort Knox. (Goldfinger is one of the more overrated Bond movies, that's all I'm saying...)

And bonus points for you, the reader, the incomparable Dame Shirley Bassey belting out Goldfinger:



And just to prove how awesome she is, here she is doing it again, this year--WHEN SHE'S 74!!!!!!!!!

Manic Monday--Picking Up Women, The Stardust Way

The poor unnamed homeless girl just saw her parents killed by giant demonized Venusian vultures (don't ask), so you'd think it wasn't a good time to be hitting on her. But that's no barrier when you've got the moves of Stardust, The Super Wizard:



Smooth, my brother Stardust, very smooth!!

From Fantastic Comics #12 (1940)