But it turns out that Ben will be Ben, and misbehave with any technology.
First, a refresher course in how the Fantastic Four's private elevator in the Baxter Building works:
So what's a boy to do?
From Fantastic Four #11 & #12 (1963)
Showing posts with label Ben Grimm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ben Grimm. Show all posts
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Ben Grimm--The Real Reason The Fantastic Four Went Broke!!
Last week, we discussed why giving Ben Grimm a flare gun was probably a bad idea.
But it turns out that Ben will be Ben, and misbehave with any technology.
First, a refresher course in how the Fantastic Four's private elevator in the Baxter Building works:
Well, Ben's having a bad day, and lost his "thingamajig"--but it's totally not his fault, as the U.S. Army just tried to capture him, because they thought he was the Hulk!!
So what's a boy to do?
This is why we can't have nice things, Ben...
From Fantastic Four #11 & #12 (1963)
But it turns out that Ben will be Ben, and misbehave with any technology.
First, a refresher course in how the Fantastic Four's private elevator in the Baxter Building works:
So what's a boy to do?
From Fantastic Four #11 & #12 (1963)
Monday, August 6, 2018
Manic FF Monday--So, How Old Are The Fantastic Four?
Let's just get this out of the way:
Reed and Ben fought in World War II. Frak any "sliding timelines." Just say the cosmic rays gave them much longer lifespans.
See how easy that was? Let us never speak of that again.
Yeah, OK, but how old are they compared to each other?
See--Reed and Sue were "kids living next door to each other." They should be relatively close to the same age.
Except, in the very same issue, Stan screws it all up in on the letters page:
D'oh!
Granted, making Reed and Ben in their "late thirties" in 1963 fits well enough with their being in WWII.
But having Sue "in her twenties" suggests that she's at least a decade younger than Reed, which is pretty inconsistent with Reed describing them as "kids together." I mean, if I were 17 and had a neighbor who was 8, I wouldn't describe us as having been "kids together."
Famously, John Byrne did away with the "next door neighbors" bit, but kept the age gap:
A lot of people were creeped out by that, but let's note that: a) Reed, being a super-genius, almost certainly was a younger freshman than most people--16? Younger? b) Byrne doesn't do too good a job of artistically portraying a 12 year old--a Raggedy Ann doll? Really?--and makes Sue look younger than the script says she is. And honestly, a 12 year old having a crush on a 16 year old--and the 16 year old looking pretty uncomfortable about it--doesn't seem too creepy or abnormal to me.
A few years ago, Matt Fraction retconned things again, again dumpling the "grew up together" angle, but making Reed and Sue much closer to each other age-wise:
So, who knows what Slott et. al. will do now.
In summary, I guess the answer is, the Fantastic Four are as old as you want them to be.
Except Ben and Reed fought in WWII. That's non-negotiable.
From Fantastic Four #11 (1963), Fantastic Four #291 (1986), and Fantastic Four #4 ( 2013)
See how easy that was? Let us never speak of that again.
Yeah, OK, but how old are they compared to each other?
Except, in the very same issue, Stan screws it all up in on the letters page:
Granted, making Reed and Ben in their "late thirties" in 1963 fits well enough with their being in WWII.
But having Sue "in her twenties" suggests that she's at least a decade younger than Reed, which is pretty inconsistent with Reed describing them as "kids together." I mean, if I were 17 and had a neighbor who was 8, I wouldn't describe us as having been "kids together."
Famously, John Byrne did away with the "next door neighbors" bit, but kept the age gap:
A few years ago, Matt Fraction retconned things again, again dumpling the "grew up together" angle, but making Reed and Sue much closer to each other age-wise:
In summary, I guess the answer is, the Fantastic Four are as old as you want them to be.
Except Ben and Reed fought in WWII. That's non-negotiable.
From Fantastic Four #11 (1963), Fantastic Four #291 (1986), and Fantastic Four #4 ( 2013)
Friday, August 3, 2018
The Most Egregious Misuses of The Fantastic Flare!!
All the way back in Fantastic Four #1, Reed had the best invention ever:
Look, I hope Reed held on to the patent for that thing--a flare that prints words in the air?!? It would worth kajillions to advertisers!! It would be great to send demeaning messages to the other side at sporting events!!
By issue #2, Reed had already refined the idea to something a little more manageable...
Well, can we just say that some members of the FF were a little bit unserious about when they used the flare?
When the FF was broke in issue #9, and Ben couldn't get a cab...
Really? You needed a ride?
And the very next issue?!?
What? Come on, Ben, you couldn't have just picked up the phone and called?
What's next, Ben? When you run out of toilet paper...? When you can't find the remote?
By issue #2, Reed had already refined the idea to something a little more manageable...
When the FF was broke in issue #9, and Ben couldn't get a cab...
And the very next issue?!?
What's next, Ben? When you run out of toilet paper...? When you can't find the remote?
Thursday, June 28, 2018
The Lady Or The Puppet?!?
Power Man has replaced Ben Grimm in the Fantastic Four! The Puppet Master has used his magic/science clay to take control of Luke Cage, having him a) kidnap Alicia, b) steal the Fantasticar, and c) bust him out of prison!
But Reed invented an exo-skeleton for Ben!! And now he's battling Power Man atop the Fantasticar!!
Goddamn, I love this comic book. Is it any wonder I was hooked?
From Fantastic Four #170 (1976)
From Fantastic Four #170 (1976)
Friday, April 6, 2018
Friday Night Fights--Ben Grimm Style!!
Look, the Fantastic Four are back, so of course they're going to be in my Friday Night Fights!! Like, duh.
Doctor Doom has swiped the Silver Surfer's cosmic powers, and is kicking the FF's butt. Like so:
Like that's going to keep Bashful Benjy down!
THROK!!
Spacebooger would like to remind you that Ben ultimately loses this fight, but Doom is tricked by Reed into losing the powers, so why not show Ben hangin' in there with Silver Doom?
Stan, Jack and Joe give us great fight in Fantastic Four #60 (1967)
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? The Fantastic Four are back!! So go and vote!!
Doctor Doom has swiped the Silver Surfer's cosmic powers, and is kicking the FF's butt. Like so:
Spacebooger would like to remind you that Ben ultimately loses this fight, but Doom is tricked by Reed into losing the powers, so why not show Ben hangin' in there with Silver Doom?
Stan, Jack and Joe give us great fight in Fantastic Four #60 (1967)
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? The Fantastic Four are back!! So go and vote!!
Thursday, February 8, 2018
When Things Were Rotten...
A joke, perhaps...
...but it sure felt like Ben was heading there in the 90s...
See what I mean?
From What If? #9 (1990)
From What If? #9 (1990)
Friday, December 22, 2017
Friday Night Fights--Ben F$%^ing Grimm Style!!
In celebration of the return of Marvel Two-In-One to our lives, this week's Friday Night Fights presents the greatest fight in that comic's history.
Champion, the Elder of The Universe who is dedicated to contests of physical prowess (and cheats by using an Infnity Gem....shhh!!) has come to Earth, seeking a boxing match versus the planet's mightiest heroes!
It's just an exhibition match, for Earth's honor...although Champion and his droogs keep hinting that Earth's very survival might be at stake, as well.
Of course, we Earthlings turn it into a big pay-per-view media event:
No one has ever lasted two full rounds against Champion!! Can our heroes do better?
Uh...no. Namor refuses to fight, Doc Samson is sent home for being too wussy for this crowd, Thor is disqualified for using his hammer, Hulk goes bestial and won't box by the rules, Sasquatch and Colossus get plain beat, and Wonder Man is disqualified for tearing up the ring in an attempt to win without actually boxing.
Geez, does no one know how to box?
So now, in a force-filed enclosed ring in Madison Square Garden, as billions watch, Earth's honor (and existence?) comes down to one big lug:
And so...the battles is on!
Ben. F$%^ing. Grimm.
Spacebooger wants a Marvel movie of this issue.
Ben goes Rocky in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 (1982), by Tom DeFalco, Ron Wilson, and inks by "Camp, Esposito, Giacoia, Green, Gil and Stone"
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Really, it doesn't matter--Marvel Two-In-One is back, and that's prize enough for any week. So just go and vote!!
Champion, the Elder of The Universe who is dedicated to contests of physical prowess (and cheats by using an Infnity Gem....shhh!!) has come to Earth, seeking a boxing match versus the planet's mightiest heroes!
It's just an exhibition match, for Earth's honor...although Champion and his droogs keep hinting that Earth's very survival might be at stake, as well.
Of course, we Earthlings turn it into a big pay-per-view media event:
Uh...no. Namor refuses to fight, Doc Samson is sent home for being too wussy for this crowd, Thor is disqualified for using his hammer, Hulk goes bestial and won't box by the rules, Sasquatch and Colossus get plain beat, and Wonder Man is disqualified for tearing up the ring in an attempt to win without actually boxing.
Geez, does no one know how to box?
So now, in a force-filed enclosed ring in Madison Square Garden, as billions watch, Earth's honor (and existence?) comes down to one big lug:
Spacebooger wants a Marvel movie of this issue.
Ben goes Rocky in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7 (1982), by Tom DeFalco, Ron Wilson, and inks by "Camp, Esposito, Giacoia, Green, Gil and Stone"
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Really, it doesn't matter--Marvel Two-In-One is back, and that's prize enough for any week. So just go and vote!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)