Marvel 1964 Week--Fantastic Four #30!!

And so, as Marvel 1964 Week draws to a close, we finish with the World's Greatest Comic Magazine:

As we ask the question:

SPOILER ALERT: No.

We begin with Marvel's First Family, for some unexplained reason, on vacation in Transylvania...and hopelessly lost!!

A hat tip to our creators:

They stumble upon a castle...and are stopped by the local gentry (sadly, no torches or pitchforks are involved).

You know, when THIS guy is telling you someone else is scary, you'd better listen!!


While sleeping in the mayor's estate, Benjamin J. Grimm hears the siren call "Come To Butthead" (or something like that):

Little known fact: The Thing won a Nobel Prize for defining a new unit of force: the Clobber.

Diablo's prison takes only one clobber. Presumably, Dr. Doom's fortress would take at least 4 or 5 Clobbers.

Here's the big idjit himself:

The rest of the FF come looking for Ben, and what do they find?!?

Well, he's not exactly handsome, but he is a durned sight prettier. As a result...


Well, after some tepid fighting, the others skulk off, unsure of what to do. Meanwhile, Diablo starts raking in millions by selling brilliant alchemic potions to the richest people and nations on earth:



And, in a scene blatantly ripped off from Rising Stars:

There's only one problem with Diablo's potions, as Reed defines a new scientific law:

"If the test tube shatters, the potion is evil."

OK, so there was no Nobel for that one. Still, Reed is right...all of Diablo's potions prove temporary at best...

...especially the one he gave to the Thing.


Now, I'm not sure why Ben's so upset...even a temporary cure is better than none, right? But he acts out, and Diablo puts him to sleep.

The FF attack, and for the one and only time EVER, Sue's power to make someone else invisible is actual very useful, and works brilliantly:


Still, the FF are defeated, as Diablo rants.


Uhhh...help me out with a little logic puzzle, friends.

A: Diablo's alchemical effects are never permanent
B: He made these cylinders "escape-proof" with alchemy
Therefore C: It's clobbering time!!

Now watch, as Stan and Jack have a lot of fun with Ben kicking the living crap out of Diablo:







Ben Grimm--one of the greatest comics characters EVER.

Anyway, the Torch seals up the collapsed crypt, so we'll never, EVER see Diablo again. Right?

And the FF??

Come on, Reed, you haven't invented GPS yet??

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL DC UNIVERSE:

OK, I'm outta Marvel titles for September 1964!! There's literally nothing left. So let's see what the Distinguished Competition had out there to counter Marvel's output:

Oh, Silver Age DC, you're so cute...

Friday Night Fights--Spider-Man 1964 Style!!

Well, it's Friday Night Fights time again, and, well, I've got to apologize to all of you out there.

As many of you know, I'm in the middle of Marvel 1964 week around here, specifically focusing on Marvel's September 1964 output.

Now, in his infinite wisdom, Spacebooger has decreed this session of Friday Night Fights to be Feet Of Fury, which means that the fight has to climax in a kick.

Well, my problem is there's no kicking in September of 1964. None. Lots of jumping, lots of punching, lots of fireballs--but no foot attacks...except for one. So, with no further ado, this is the best I got:



Thud indeed.

I promise to do better next time.

Meanwhile, stick around as I briefly talk about Amazing Spider-Man #16 (1964), by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko:

A couple of things to note about this cover. First, they really put on the hard sell:

Hmm, it's an OK issue, but it's certainly nowhere near one of the greatest I've ever read. So I guess Stan isn't talking to me anymore.

Secondly, just look at the Ringmaster:

The only thing "eerie" about him is that every Marvel artist draws him like the creepy perv who lives in that one house down the block!

See what I mean??

Hey, it's Aunt May's dating service!!

What May Parker has brought together, let only Mephisto tear asunder...

Anyway, this issue very prominently guest-stars Daredevil and his supporting cast, continuing the trend from Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 of trying to make every Marvel character a guest star in Spidey's mag. As Daredevil only had three issues of his own under his belt at this point, this had to be a pretty big boost for Hornhead.

But, sadly, even Steve Ditko couldn't make that first costume look good.

Anyway, Spider-Man is tricked into performing "for charity" at the circus (which Matt Murdock and company just happen to be attending). And although the Circus of Crime is old hat to us in 2009, they were still pretty new at this point, so you can't entirely blame Webhead and the crowd for falling for this scheme:


Fortunately, Daredevil's blindness saving him from the Hypo Helio Static Stasis of Ringmaster's hat:

Which leads to the Spider-Man/Daredevil fight chronicled above. Which plays like a total rip-off of Marvel Team-Up #2 (except, of course, this story actually made sense).

Daredevil get the magic hat, and frees Spidey.

He then, in a juicy tidbit, let's us know the worst thing about being a costumed hero:

We then get many, many pages of Spider-Man taking down the Crime Circus, which I'm really too lazy to show you here. But Peter Parker does show that he's capable of learning from past experiences:

Leading to the Scooby-Doo moment:

The letters page this issue is filled with some dandies. Jay Blackburn was obviously a member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club:

Mrs. Danny Lee Moore thinks Marvel comics help protect our precious bodily fluids from the commies:

And Bruce Donehower? I'm not quite sure what his problem was...

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Hey, it's Nick Fury!! And you can see one of his feet...does that count as Feet Of Fury, Spacebooger?!?

Sigh...