The First Catwoman-Batman Wedding!!

Because all of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again, our first stab at a Cat-Bat wedding:

No, I don't know what's up with Selina's costume here. We'll discuss that more at another date.

Anyway, just to spoil you, no, we didn't have a wedding in 1967. But, we also didn't have a fake wedding which DC used to suck a lot of money out of gullible fans while giving us the ridiculousness of Catwoman not marrying Batman because being married would somehow "un-man" him and make him incapable of being a hero anymore. BONUS: DC continues to market a "Wedding Album" and a trade paperback entitled "The Wedding" even after it is well known THAT THERE WAS NO WEDDING. But they're not fraudulent misogynist hucksters at all...

Anyway, back in the day, Catwoman decide that she was in love with Batman, so she pretends to go straight, capturing criminals (and showing up Batgirl) to prove she'll make a better partner...

Bruce--confirmed bachelor!

True love--giving up crime!

But, you know, she is a villain, so Catwoman's idea of love and how to win it can be a little...twisted?

A choice?

Well, capturing everyone and putting them in a death trap is a unique way of proposing, I guess.

But this time out, Batman is the one who says "no."

Of course, Batman escapes.

But don't feel bad, Selina. You never had a chance. Not as long as...

...Robin loves Batman even more than you!!

From Batman #197 (1967)

The Best Way To Become A Super-Heroine, Statistically Speaking!

Stop me if you've heard this one before...

Betty Barstow, secretary to a gruff but lovable private detective, has plans for the night.

And she decides to go as...a super-hero!!

You almost certainly know where this is going, because this is the exact same origin as Batgirl!!

Of course, she stops by the cemetery to visit a client, the watchman, and stumbles upon a Scooby Doo crime:

Fortunately, Betty is skilled in Jui-jitsu!

It turns out the crooks were using fake ghosts to scare away the watchman so they could use one of the tombs as a headquarters for their counterfeiting ring. As always happens.

But the big takeaway--crooks beaten by A GIRL!!

Well, Betty knows a good thing when she stumbles onto it!!

Look, that's at least two super-heroines whose origin is "woman goes to masquerade dress as hero, ends up fighting crime with her self-defense skills." Ladies, if you want to become a hero, that's the course I'd recommend--it's bound to work!!

It's worth noting that Silver Scorpion was Timely/Marvel's first female super-hero--heck, she even predated Wonder Woman!! But after only 3 stories, she vanished, until Roy Thomas brought her back in the 1993 Invaders mini-series--because of course Roy Thomas brought back an obscure Golden Age hero. Unfortunately, she was put into this horrendous post-Image armor:

Ewww.

Later she was retconned into having hung out with the Invaders and the Liberty Legion, and then further retconned into the retcon-created V-Battalion, which ran around quietly hunting escaped Nazi war criminals.

But in my heart, she will always be the hero whose origin story crossed Batgirl and Scooby Doo.

From Daring Mystery Comics #7 (1941)

DC's Perverse Fountain Of Youth

Congressperson Barbara Gordon is on a groovy sight-seeing trip...

Got that? That's about as clear a statement as you can get pre-Crisis: Barbara is in Congress, Dick is in his freshman year at Hudson University. And Babs is at least 6 years older than Dick--perhaps more.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that's precisely the opposite of what nu52 DC has now, right? Grayson is now the confident adult, while Barbara is the barely-competent-just-in-college hero.

I have no really deep thoughts here, except to note that when you take the "Burnside Batgirl" and the DCYou Black Canary, you might get the impression that some comic companies would rather feature feckless girls as heroes rather than competent women...

From Batman Family #10 (1977)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Worst Pun In The History Of Comic Book Covers!!

I apologize for this...

...but some things are so painful that they must be shared:

"Bison-tennial."

Sigh...

From Batman Family #6 (1976)

The Beauty Part? It's Better Than Any of The Batman: Arkham Games!

In this week's Batgirl #41, we see this game being played at the bar/arcade (barcade?):

An unholy mash-up of Asteroids, Space Invaders AND Star Trek?!?!?

I want this game. I want it more than anything else in the history of ever.

Seriously.

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Trenchant Observation, Or Pot Calling Kettle Black?

From last week's Batgirl #32:

Way to go, Gail Simone! Nice dig at the nu52!!

Of course, this is the same Gail Simone who wrote the supposedly-evil-but-regularly-end-up-doing-sort-of-the-right-thing Secret Six:

So maybe it's just Batgirl who feels that way, and not Simone...

If Only Congress Were More Like This...

And then there was the day that the hot Congressperson from Gotham picked her father up at the airport:

You know you wish your district's U.S. Representative dressed that way, don't you?

And when someone guns down a paroled hood right in front of them, she has a plan:

Well, you're damned glad that your Congressperson has funky taste in undergarments, right?

It doesn't take Batgirl long to track down...

So what does the motorcycle-driving-and-surprisingly-good-looking-House-Of-Representatives-member do?

Whoa!!!

Wait...

No, wait!! 

No, really, wait!!!!

Seriously, hold on a minute!!

OK, time out!!! 

*"Gangdom's most deadly hit lady" only ever uses one gun...and if you take it away, she's helpless?

*Diamond Lilly krazy glues a diamond to her revolver for each successful hit?!? Wouldn't that be, oh, I dunno, a CLUE you could use to convict her??

*Batgirl has "seen that diamond-studded pistol before"? Did you just let her get away then? Why isn't she in jail?

*Commissioner Gordon keeps a box of blanks on him as a "hobby"...even at the airport?!? TSA, where are you?!? And what the hell kind of "hobby" is that??

*"Gangdom's most deadly hit lady" believes that, after going to such lengths to seize it, Batgirl just dropped the gun? And Lilly doesn't notice that she's firing blanks? What, she thinks the supposed bullets are just passing through Batgirl?!? Does she believe that she's suddenly a terrible shot?

Oh, DC...

From Batman Family #4 (1976)