Manic Monday--All My Mondays Are Like This, Really

Seriously...

...she is much more functional then I am on an average Monday morning...

This is probably my favorite issue from the Gaiman/Buckingham run on Miracleman, being a combination of a deft explanation of The Prisoner and a prediction of The Matrix:

From Miracleman #21 (1991), as reprinted in Miracleman By Gaiman & Buckingham #5 (2016)

Manic Monday--Size Matters

On Saturday we dealt--or rather didn't deal with--a sensitive issue in the difference between Kryptonian physiology and that of humans.

Well, it's time to look at the British perspective on such matters, albeit obliquely.

We start when 2 farmers are having a violent quarrel over who can grow the largest marrows (that's a type of squash):



They continue to battle, and the innuendo flies:


Sadly, Marvelman breaks up their fight. But somewhere far away, someone is pretty cheesed off by all the ruckus:

WHAAAATTTTT?!?!?!


You know, the more Marvelman reprints I read, the more I'm convinced that "Mick Anglo" is really Bob Burden with a time machine...

Anyway, the Marvelman Family routs the vegetable army...


But then the stupid farmers start squabbling again over the size of their "marrows."

Well, Marvelman solves the crisis as only Marvelman can. Because, as Otter said to Dean Wormer's wife...


"Mine's bigger!"

Wow.

All I'm saying is, there must have been some serious drugs floating around England in the 1950s...and some seriously giant marrows.

Bob Burden wishes he could make his Flaming Carrot stories were 1/20th as bizarre as "Marvelman Family And The Giant Marrow" from Marvelman Family #3 (1957), as reprinted in Marvelman Family's Finest #1 (2010).

Why Wendell Vaughn Changed His Name To Quasar

Back in the day, rookie S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Wendell Vaughn was given the quantum bands and uniform of the person everybody thought was the deceased 1950's hero Marvel Boy (it wasn't, he was The Crusader, an insane and surgically altered Uranian Eternal...sigh, retcons make everything so confusing...). He took the name Marvel Boy, and, since he was an actual grown-up, soon changed it to Marvel Man.

So why did he change it? Well, it started when the Hulk knocked him for a loop...

And he landed on his hinder several miles away...

...and the reception he got was...somewhat lacking:


That's right...people loitering in front of a comic book shop thought Marvel Man was a dopey name...even the hot chicks laughed at him. And if you're dissed by comics fans AND hot chicks, well, a new nom de guerre is called for.

So he promptly changed his name to Quasar. And that's why, to this day, even copyright conscious Marvel never has and never will publish a character with a dopey name like Marvel Man. It would just be too silly!!

Uhh...never mind.


Roger Stern, Sal Buscema and Chic Stone editorialize on superhero names in Incredible Hulk #233 (1979).

Friday Night Fights--Kimota Style!!

If this is indeed the final Friday Night Fights, let's not go out with a bang, or a whimper, but a crushed larynx.

If you're the wife of Mickey Moran, and an ugly beastie is attacking while he's otherwise occupied, well, you're in trouble:

But don't lose heart--it's a Miracleman Family, you see, and someone special is watching over you:




Ladies and gentleman, Miraclewoman!!

Of course, Bahlactus don't need no magic words to shift into whupass overdrive...hail to the chief, suckas!!

Throat crunching action from Eclipse's Miracleman #11 (1987). My god...you mean it's been over 20 years?? Jesus, I'm old...

Total Eclipse Of the Heart

Hey, look what I found buried in one of my long boxes:

So let's take a look at what solicited by Eclipse Comics for June of 1990, shall we?

Coup D'Etat: The Assassination of of John F. Kennedy Trading Cards (art by Bill Sienkiewicz!):

Eclipse put out a whole bunch of these sets--many with a decidedly liberal bent (Iran-Contra Scandal Trading Cards, Friendly Dictator Cards), some highly controversial (Serial Killers, True Crime Trading Cards), and many just plain interesting (Heroes of the Blues with art by Robert Crumb, Congressional Medal of Honor Trading Cards).

One thing that always bugged me, though...since most of these were sold as complete sets (e.g., Coup D'Etat was sold only as a complete set of 36 cards in a small box), how can you call them "trading cards?" Everyone who has them already has a complete set...what's to trade??

Zot! #32:

I love Zot! And I really miss the book. I'm not going to cry for Scott McCloud to start doing more Zot stories, because I don't know if there any more to tell. But that doesn't make me miss the book any less.

Good news department: This month, Harper Collins will be publishing a mammoth Zot! omnibus, collecting all the black and white run of the mag (#11-36), for the ridiculously low price of $24.95 list. Great chance for you poozers who haven't read these issues to find out why Zot! rocked so hard. Now if only somebody would get the first ten-issue color run back in print...

Orbit #2:

Comic adaptations of stories from Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction magazine. Along with Clive Barker's Tapping the Vein, Eclipse was a leader in trying to push comics adaptations of genre short stories. No one seems to be doing that anymore...it seems like a no-brainer to me. Hey, Dynamite, are you paying attention?!?! This seems like your cup of tea...

Winterworld:

A collection of a 1997 Chuck Dixon/Jorge Saffino miniseries. I mention this mainly because the solicit describes Dixon as "the Sam Peckinpah of comics," which just makes my head spin for several different reasons.

Update: Chuck Dixon is no longer employed in any capacity by Eclipse Comics.

The Death of Anti-Socialman:

OK, I know this might be hard to believe, but back in the late 80s/early 90s, if you self-published mini-comics consisting entirely of stick figures, well, you could get published by a "mainstream" indie. Seriously.

I always thought Cynicalman was funnier and more entertaining than Anti-Social Man. But ASM was funny, too.

Tales of the Beanworld #17:

Another much missed title. Silly yet deep at the same time. As I mentioned a couple of months ago, Larry Marder will be resuming the title in 2009 with Dark Horse, who will also be reprinting the original 21 issues in some format. Huzzah!!

You see, there's these beans...and Mr. Spook has this big fork...and a musical group called the Boom'r Band...

OK, some things just defy explanation...

Teenage Dope Slaves and Reform School Girls:

A B&W reprinting of some ridiculously camp comics (think Reefer Madness in panel form) from earlier decades, including a Harvey Kurtzman story about the perils of venereal disease!! At 128 pages for $9.95, this was a heckuva deal. Why didn't I buy it?

Miracleman #19:

Deep sigh.

The saddest part of the astonishing legal black hole that has swallowed up the Miracleman Family is that these comics, especially the early ones, are just completely unavailable to many readers, so we've got an entire generation of comic fans who've never read any Miracleman. Fortunately, I'm a million years old, and I own the floppies, so I think I'm going to go destroy their collectability a little bit more and re-read them again...

So, that was (most of) Eclipse, June 1990. They were a spunky little company, published a wide (and bewildering, at times) selection of books, gave a lot of creators their first breaks, published what is regarded by most as the first original graphic novel, and made the comics market a more diverse place until their collapse when everyone's bubble burst in 1994. I miss 'em.

And just think of the trading cards they could publish today...