Showing posts with label Swordsman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swordsman. Show all posts

Monday, May 8, 2017

Manic Monday Bonus--Interspecies Romance, Sort Of!!

Because some of you have never read a 42 year old comic book (and, in a cheap attempt to collect hits by latching onto a popular movie), I need to tell you about Mantis.

I'm not sure how i should put this....either

A) Mantis [BLEEP]ed a tree; or

B) Mantis [BLEEP]ed the corpse of her dead boyfriend.

Well, actually, it's kinda both. She [BLEEP]ed the corpse of her dead boyfriend that was re-animated by the tree she married!

See, during the Celestial Madonna epic, we were introduced to the Cotati, a sentient plant species that evolved on the Kree homeworld. Some pacifist Kree kung-fu priests (yes, pacifist Kree kung-fu priests) brought a Cotati to earth millennia ago, and planted him in their Vietnamese temple.

When the tree and humanity were ready...well, let's allow the re-animated corpse of the Swordsman explain everything:


Well, after letting her experience life as a prostitute and a super-hero--seriously, I'm not making this up!!--she attains enough human perfection to...

O...........K?

It's not everyday a tree proposes to you, as Mantis' reaction shows!


WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Look, the Swordsman actually died died. Dead. Corpse.

And if I were going to propose to some woman, I don't think offering her the re-animated body of her dead lover would be viewed as a cool "wedding gift." Especially if "mating" with it were involved.

But these are comics, man...


So, she's going to marry a tree and schtup a zombie. EWWWWWWWWW!!


Well, after complications (this story has both Kang and Dormammu in it, and the wedding of the Vision and Scarlet Witch--no decompression in those days!), they tie the knot. off to the icky honeymoon!!




EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Mantis eventually came back--creator Steve Englehart was so in love his own character he worked her into virtually every single project he ever wrote, including comics for other companies--and yeah, she had a kid. A physical child. Which means...EWWWWWWW!!!!

I kid because I love. The Celestial Madonna epic is really great (oops--SPOILER ALERT!), and everyone should read the whole saga.

But we should never forget as we enjoy the excellent Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2--Mantis married a tree and boinked the corpse of her dead boyfriend. 

From Giant-Size Avengers #4 (1975)

Friday, July 4, 2014

Friday Night Fights--Shield? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Shield Style!

It's July 4th, so we damned well better feature Captain America in this week's Friday Night Fight!!

Cap has to run a gantlet of villains to keep Batroc from obtaining a secret weapon of mass destruction and selling it to the highest bidder. [SPOILER ALERT: The device is called the Seismo-Bomb]

So Steve has to face the terror of...The Swordsman!!















BAM!! Who needs a shield?

Spacebooger thinks it's about time someone else takes up the Swordsman's mantle in Marvel-616...

Cap takes the best the Swordsman and still clobbers him in Captain America #105 (1968), as presented by Stan, Jack and Dan Adkins

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why?!? Because you are constitutionally required to vote for Captain America on July 4th!! So go and vote!!