Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Love For Uatu!!

Everybody's got to ride the Love Boat sometime.The question is, how do behave when the ride is done?

Our old pal The Watcher is binge-watching a war on a distant planet:

There's one unique thing about this fight, though...

OK, that is probably not the soundest strategy...bit props to the queen.

But for Uatu...cue the cheesy Star Trek love music:

Now, when you consider how many women the Watcher has watched, you've got to figure she's something special indeed!

But the battle takes a turn for the worse...

So the non-interference vow is put to the test...

...and Uatu fails utterly. "Free to make an appearance wherever I desire"? Totally bullcrap!

Still it impresses the queen!

Yeah, she's got it bad.

So how does the Watcher deal with this?

By being the biggest dickweed possible.

Obviously, those years of non-interference have left the Watchers staggeringly unaware of the "let them down easy" alternatives. Bro, tell her that you already have a mate! Tell her that you're not into women! Tell her that it's you, not her!!

Good gravy, you've been watching Earth! You've been watching Tony Stark and Johnny Storm!! You must know 57 better approaches to this than that "I must be cruel to kind kind" self-justifying dickery!!

Watcher, dude, next time take me along as a wingman. That's what friends are for!!

From Tales Of Suspense # 56 (1964)

Unseen, But Not Unheard

Hey, you all remember how Marvel retconned Nick Fury into a genocidal maniac who wiped out entire alien races, right? How they had him murder the Watcher for no reason that made a lick of sense? How, after wallowing in the desecration of a hero, they had the Watchers turn Nick into "The Unseen" and chain him to the moon, forcing him to fulfill Uatu's old duties?

Yeah, four years later, that still sucks worse than anything Marvel has ever done.

 So, ummm...how has Nick been doing?

Er, yeah. That sounds precisely like Nick Fury.

Look, if you wanted someone who would act exactly like the Watcher and talk exactly like the Watcher and be punished by the Watcher Council for breaking Watcher rules...then why the hell did you kill the Watcher?

By the same token, if you had to make Nick Fury become The Unseen, maybe have him talk or think like Nick Fury, and not like, say Uatu?!?

What was the freakin' point, if you're going to make Fury/Unseen a straight palette swap for Uatu? Here was a chance to maybe do something new and original with the omniscient observer idea, to see what another character would do...and they just give us Watcher Lite, washing away any identifiable characteristics of Nick Fury.

Heavy sigh...

From Exiles #2 (2018)

Manic Monday Bonus--Who's Got Super Senses?!?

It's one of those fun little features from Marvel's annuals!! Daredevil discusses the spectrum of super-senses in Marvel-616:

It's kinda small, and the word balloons are not in the same spot as the picture they're describing, so we here at Slay Monstrobot have gone to great lengths to arrange things nicely for you. Enjoy!!

Really, DD? You're going to doubt the flippin' Watcher?

From Daredevil Annual #5 (1989)

Seriously, He Didn't Even Bring Any Wine!!

Do you know what I really miss, post-Original Sin?

I miss the fact that you can be having a swanky dinner party with your co-workers...

...and this guy could crash the party!!

Dude, we're trying to eat!!

Oh, yeah, that swanky dinner party--that was The Avengers!

You know, Bob Harras takes a lot of crap--probably some of it deservedly--but you have to credit him for, in 1992, putting together an Avengers team that was 1/2 female.

From Avengers #357 (1992)

Friday Night Fights--Who Watches The Watcher Die Style!

Yeah, yeah, Original Sin, Watcher dying...been there, done that.

Because for this week's Friday Night Fight, we're going to see a Watcher die.

Yes, Uatu. No, not our Uatu...an alternate universe's Uatu.

You see, in this reality, Reed, Ben ,Sue & Johnny all died when their rocket crashed...oops. Which means that when Galactus came a callin', there was no Fantastic Four to stop them. Which means that the Watcher had to turn to the Avengers. Which means that Alicia Masters wasn't around to sway the Silver Surfer's sympathies. And Iron Man failed miserably when Uatu sent him to fetch the Ultimate Nullifier.

Which basically means this Earth is frakked. And after dealing with the rest of the annoying Avengers, Galactus is about to squish Hercules:

Well, with no pawns left to bail out the Earth, guess who has to take action himself?

BURP....

Spacebooger can't believe he ate the whole thing...

Titanic tale of an alternate timeline is from What If #41 (1992), as told by Jim Valentino (story/layouts) and Sam de la Rosa (finished art)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because it's difficult to fathom a bigger fight than a Galactus/Watcher tussle! So go and vote!!