Always A Bridesmaid

You know what I hate? I hate it when comic companies salivate like Pavlov dogs at the prospect of getting "real" writers to write their comic books.

We've all seen it--DC or Dark Horse or Marvel will issue a press release touting their latest acquisition, and the company will suggest that we should be super-impressed because a "real" writer will be writing one of their books, someone who's actually written TV shows or movies or (gasp) actual novels. Because all of the actual comic writers they have are crap compared to the majesty of Brad Meltzer, who's a real writer!!!!!

It's so self-denigrating, so needy, so small town. It feels almost like the local paper making a huge deal out of the fact that Tom Wopat is going to appear in a local production of Guys And Dolls over at The Barn Theater and that's a huge deal because he's a real actor, not one of these local guys who have never been on TV or in a movie before!! (editors note: true story. I love Kalamazoo, but sometimes we're not the most sophisticated bunch. Tom Wopat!!!!!)

Sure, it's just a matter of tone (not to mention my perspective and biases, no doubt). But for once I'd love to see one of those press releases say "This writer has decided that comics are so cool that he wants to write for us!" as opposed to "Oh my god someone who is a 'real' writer actually wants to write for us oh my oh my!!"

But you know what's even worse? As long as the companies act like groupies who long for nothing more than to be invited backstage after a Motley Crue concert, they're going to get treated like like that poor groupie, used for a quickie and dumped faster than you can say "the bus is leaving for Des Moines, Nikki!" By consistently acting so grateful and needy and thankful that "real" writers will deign to give them the time of day, the companies ensure that they'll be treated like crap.

Because these writers, brought in to so much fanfare, treat their comic writing assignments like a hobby, rather than a job. And the comic companies encourage that.

Take this, for example, from Media Geek's interview with Joss Whedon, discussing his work on the Buffy Season 8 comic:

MEDIA GEEK: Is your heart still into the comic?

JOSS WHEDON: I love crafting it and getting it where it’s going, and when I have time I love writing issues. But it’s a little tough right now, and Dark Horse is taking it on the chin a little bit; I’m struggling so much, because I have this other little thing [The Avengers].

If Whedon were working on Buffy and he told Fox or the WB, "The next few episodes are going to be a few months late because I'm going to write a comic book," what do you think their reaction would be? Yeah, contracts would be mentioned, lawyers would be suggested, and firm reminders that show was his job and if he ever wanted to work in this town he'd take of that responsibility first. That's if he wasn't immediately fired and replaced. (Or if Damon Lindelof had told ABC, "Sorry, the next episode of Lost is going to have to wait 3 years..." I don't think ABC would have said, "Why, OK, sir. Just get it done when you can, all right?")

But if you tell the comic companies that your work is going to be late (and later, and later) or that you might have to ditch your commitment because some TV show or movie has come up?? "Well, sure, no problem, don't worry about how you've screwed our production schedules and solicitations and sales and fans. Whatever you've been offered is more important than our puny comic books!"

I don't want to pick on Whedon too much...he's not as egregiously obnoxious as some outside writers are, as his comments shows that he actually sort of cares (just not as much as as he cares about a chance to direct a blockbuster movie!). But it was this interview that crystallized some thoughts that had been percolating in my head for awhile.

How long are comics going to let themselves be treated like Charlie when Marcia Brady decides she'd rather go out with Doug? How long are they going to accept "something suddenly came up" as an excuse? When are the companies going to grow a spine and say, "Well, we're happy for your other offer, but you made a commitment here, and we expect you to fulfill it." Can we ever expect them to say, "Damon Lindelof, TV is not more important than comics. You took our money, now you finish the damned project"?

Whenever you hear someone whine about why the medium isn't treated with respect, and when are comics going to get their due, etc, etc, here's one answer: When comics start respecting themselves. When they stop treating authors from other media as more important, more spectacular than the ones they have; when they figure out that a writer isn't automatically better or a great acquisition just because they write mediocre novels or episodes of a flavor-of-the-month television series. And when they stop being so starstruck that they let authors treat their comics work as slumming, and start demanding that they treat it as seriously as any of their other paying work.

In other words, when they stop letting "famous" writers treat their comics work as a crappy fanfic hobby.

Which probably means never.

(By the way, Marcia Brady with a big nose was still pretty freakin' hot, and Doug was a freakin' idiot for dropping her. I'm just sayin'.)

(And yes, I do have a Marcia Brady Bobble-Head. Shut up.)