Bold Fashion Choices--Disco Darlings Fashions!!

Admit it...

...you miss the 1970s, don't you?

From Betty And Veronica #290 (1980)

Hey, Ms. Tambourine Girl, Play A Song For Me

Everyone mocks poor Betty Cooper for playing the tambourine.

She knows the truth, though...

You know it, Betty. Shake it until you make it!

Reason #201,654 why Betty is better than Veronica...

From Archie #197 (1970)

Manic Labor Triple Day Overtime--White Slavery In Riverdale?!?

OK, this can't actually be legal, or enforceable, or even advisable, can it?

But, no, it's an official Riverdale High event.

And the high school gym teacher/coach is even officiating.

So, yeah, kind of problematic.

For those who care:

Betty steps in on Veronica & Archie's planned rendezvous, so she can have Archie all to herself for a week...

...Veronica thinks she found Archie, but it's really Jughead. But young Jones is fine with it, because now he can avoid Big Ethel...

...and amazingly, no one files a lawsuit against the school's forced dating scheme!!

From Betty And Veronica #238 (1975)

Riverdale High Finds Inner Peace!

Strange things are afoot at Riverdale High...

Oh, Archie Comics, it's another wry jab at a pop-culture phenomena that you really don't understand, isn't it?

I'm pretty sure that this is exactly the opposite of what gurus suggest you do to find inner peace...

Oh, not you, too, Jughead?!?

So, at Riverdale, rather than shedding all wants from the physical world, completely giving in to them is the way to attain a blissful trance.

Which explains a lot about how the Baby Boomer screwed up the world...

From Betty and Veronica #221 (1974)

Any Given Sunday...

Archie tackles the important issue of sexism in sports:

You see, it's funny, because women are different than men...

 Ah, but that's just a cover gag, right? Surely, on the inside of the comic, we'll see an elegant and well-reasoned treatise about the role of women in sports, right?

And so...

Hahahaha...it's funny when women try to enjoy guy things!!

Enjoy the games today!!

From Archie's Pals 'N' Gals #102 (1976)

Miss Grundy And The Bechdel Test!

Y'all may not know this, but one of the first proponents of the Bechdel Test was Riverdale teacher Miss Grundy--long before the "test" was ever "invented."

Sadly, her stand was no match for Betty and Veronica!

The Bechdel Test--it cannot win against teenage hormones!!

From Archie Annual #23 (1971)