Still, It Makes More Sense Than Bitcoin

Donald has to decide to play a sly prank on Uncle Scrooge, which has absolutely no chance of backfiring!

And the inevitable result of last week's elections?

Well, there is a reason Scrooge became so rich in the first place.

And after a canny series of cunning transactions, within a few hours, he is "rich" again!

And when Donald gets home...

The moral of the story--don't play jokes on Scrooge McDuck!!

From Dell Four Color #456 (1953)

Uncle Scrooge--Master of Disguise!

As part of my campaign to make sure the callow youth of today never forget Uncle Scrooge, allow me to present this bit:

Gladstone Gander has obtained a (possibly) very rare and valuable Chinese teapot. And Scrooge is determined to get in the and see it!

His disguise?

Damn!! He had even me fooled for a minute!!!

From Dell Four Color #531 (1954)

Uncle Scrooge And The Hidden Cultural Crisis

So, the other day, I received my set of the first two volumes of Fantagraphics collection of Don Rosa's duck work...

...and when I opened the box to gaze upon my new treasure, one of my college-aged employees looked at it, and asked, "Who's Uncle Scrooge?"

WHAT.

THE.

HELL.



How is this even remotely possible?!?

This is a cultural emergency.

Forget anything else in your life.

This week, make it your job--your sacred quest--to inform people about Uncle Scrooge.

Find a child. Find a co-worker. Find a Gen-Xer or a millennial or whatever they call the kids these days. And tell them about Uncle Scrooge. Show them this video:


Don't let the legacy of Scrooge McDuck fade away.

Manic Mathmagic Monday Seventh Heaven--Greedy Capitalists Are Bad At Math, Apparently!

So, having learned all about the glories of math while in Mathmagic Land, has Donald discovered a way out from Uncle Scrooge's cruel usury?

No, Donald, no!

So Donald had a house worth thousands, and he was going deeply into debt to take 89¢ loans from Scrooge? Three words, Donald: home equity loans.

But surely McDuck is too canny a businessduck to fall this old trick!

Donald, you let the old bastard off way too easily. Waaaayy too easily.

From Four Color 1051 (1959)

Manic Mathmagic Monday--Uncle Scrooge Is A Total Bastard!

Look, one of the most important rules in life is, don't borrow money from relatives--especially if your relative is Uncle Scrooge!!

So wait: Donald took out a loan for 89¢?? C'mon, man...

Still, Scrooge's interest rate would be illegal in many a land: 30% interest computed on a monthly basis is 360% (!!) APR...and compounded weekly means that you get in the hole pretty quickly with this usurious old bastard!

Obviously, though, Donald missed a few payments (if he had paid 15¢ every week, he'd have the loan paid off in 2 1/2 months, and only be out $1.45). Lesson--don't miss payments!! Because...

Holy, crap, Donald is in a hole he can never get out of now!! F%#$ you, Uncle Scrooge!!

Perhaps, though, the power of Mathmagic can save Donald from complete bankruptcy and humiliation!....stay tuned!

From Four Color #1051 (1959)

The Law Of Supply And Demand Is A Harsh Mistriss

If you read last week's award-winning Friday Night Fight, you know that Scrooge, Donald and the boys' pursuit of a rare quarter got them involved in a massive pie battle.

Ahh, but there's still the fate of the quarter to resolve, isn't there??

Donald, you see, clued Uncle Scrooge to the fact that certain rare coins could be worth more than face value. And, of course, McDuck overreacts...

So, prepare for the world's biggest media blitz, 1954-style!




And, annoying as the campaign is, it works!!

So, stashing away just one of those 25¢ pieces, Scrooge makes sure that none of the rest of those quarters can get back into circulation:

Well, after many, many pages of hijinks (including pie fights!), it's time for McDuck to cash in on his scheme, right?




Oh, sweet irony...

The moral of the story: having something worth ten skyrillion dollars means nothing if no can afford to buy it. [Editor's note--Which means, snell, that your plan to buy up every copy of Steeltown Rockers #1, and then destroy them all except one, is doomed to failure] [writer's note--shut up!]

Carl Barks teaches us economics in Uncle Scrooge #5 (1954)

Friday Night Fights--Meringue Style!!

It occurs to me, as we approach this week's Friday Night Fights, that there's one type of fight I've never shown.

Let's start with Uncle Scrooge, as he has destroyed every 1916 quarter except for one. And now the remaining quarter, which he has, is worth "ten skyrillion dollars"!!

However, the old coot needs to be a little more careful with his money:



Scrooge's attempts to recover the world's rarest quarter cause havoc in the pie factory...

...which angers the pie man...

...which leads to the main event:











"There is no better fight than a pie fight!" Truer words have never been spoken!!

Spacebooger is worried there won't be any pie left for him...

Carl Barks brings us the flakiest, most delicious fight possible in Uncle Scrooge #5 (1954), as reprinted in Fantagraphic's wonderful Walt Disney's Uncle Scrooge: "Only A Poor Old Man"

Now is the time for you to go and vote for me. Why? Because who else this week gave you a Carl Barks pie fight? No one, that's who. So go and vote.