Tales From The Quarter Bin--The Sincerest Form Of Flattery?!?

I know what you're thinking: is this Richie Rich...

...or just an incredible simulation?

A simulation. A very precise, legally actionable simulation!

When Marvel started their imprint for younger readers, Star Comics, they brought in Richie Rich co-creator Warren Kremer as artist and longtime Richie writer Lennie Herman to create the incredibly original and completely not derivative Royal Roy.

See, he's not just another "poor little rich boy"--he's a prince!! Of the nation of Cashelot!! Son of King Regal and Queen Regalia!! With one rich girlfriend and one non-wealthy girlfriend. And...

The best part about Royal Roy was that the entire strip wasn't about the flaunting of excessive wealth. It was also about...

...flaunting monarchy and inherited autocratic power!!

Sadly, in some eyes, that may not having been enough to differentiate Royal Roy from Richie Rich. Indeed, spoilsport Harvey Comics sued Marvel for copyright infringement. Marvel cancelled poor Roy after 6 months, Harvey dropped the lawsuit and starting publishing Richie Rich again after a four year hiatus.

Did you know that over the years, Harvey published over fifty different Richie Rich series? That could have been you, Roy...you oculd have been a contender...

From Royal Roy #3 (1985) & #5 (1986)

The Future Mrs. Richie Rich?

In 1989, Veronica Lodge finally got her own solo series:

For the first 2 1/2 years, Veronica's solo adventures consisted of her going around the world, with various countries and cities called out in the title (take that, U.S.Avengers!).

Why, she even went to...

 Dammit, Siskoid, you missed your chance!!

Eventually, though, the idea ran out of steam. But rather than just return her to normal teen hi jinks and romantic triangles, the covers decided to play up the fact that Veronica was kinda wealthy:

Yup, it was all ostentatious display of wealth, all the time, is a series of covers that often seemed like they might well have been cut and paste from Richie Rich comics:

For a while, she even had the cover slogan "The Whimsical Rich Girl," which sounds like a good much for the "Poor Little Rich Boy."

Yup, it was all coins, and bills, and dollar signs for Miss Lodge...

Oh, and credit cards, too:

And even more displays of 1% privilege:

Eventually they calmed down, and got back to the more traditional cover fare of dating and fashion and boys and gags, until they finally found Veronica's one true calling:

POWERTEEN!!

Sadly, I'm willing to bet we never see Powerteen on Riverdale...

The True Origin Of Richie Rich?!?

Poor Sherman is disgusted by the fact that...well, let's allow him to tell you:

Dude, reality check: your story was published in 1952!! Back in those days, you could still get 10 comics for that buck!! Not to mention lots of candy, soda, etc.

Adjusting for inflation, that lone dollar is worth $8.86 today...and you can't even get three comic books with that! Hell, you probably couldn't get a movie ticket! You have no idea how good you had it!!

Ah, but Sherman is a mad dreamer...

Well, surely that can't work!

Oh, Sherman...

Well, I'd suggest that this was a town full of idjits.

But then again, seeing how supposedly responsible adults are willing to throw themselves at the feet of someone who merely seems rich (even though their piles of cash are imaginary), it's not outrageous to think that Sherman grew up to be on the board at Enron, or perhaps a managing partner at Bear Stearns...

From Popeye #20 (1952), as reprinted in Classic Popeye #20 (2014)

Manic Monday--Richie Rich AIn't So Rich, Is He?

That Ri¢hie Ri¢h thinks he's all that...

Sorry, bro, but it's called conference calling and Skype. You don't have to be a trazillionaire to have that. "Ri¢h Super Conference Phone" my butt!! Anybody can afford that these days!

And seriously...you gave the dog a phone?

Fact: it's probably Blofeld on the sixth screen that we can't see...

From Ri¢hie Ri¢h $u¢¢e$$ Storie$ #86 (1979)

Why Sell Grit?

You know, with all those damn ads in comics throughout the years, and all those youngsters supposedly making out like bandits selling the product...you'd think they'd come up with real-life examples of the vast benefits of selling Grit.

Oh, wait, here's one:

Wait...Richie Rich?? On his diamond-studded coach? He's your endorser?!?

Not quite...

So the Rich family fortune started out by selling issues of Grit for 35¢ apiece?

Well, stranger things have happened, I guess? Anything is possible.

Of course, when Mr. Rich asserts that "Lots of famous people got their start selling Grit," you'd have thought they'd mention at least one example, one famous person.

Nope. Not a one. But at least we know that cartoon characters could make serious cheddar selling Grit...

Ad from, surprisingly enough, Superman Family #204 (1980)

I've Been Waiting For This Comic Book My Entire Life

When I saw this on the new releasable shelf yesterday, well, you knew there was absolutely no way I could ever pass it up:

Richie Rich doing an homage cover to Giant-Size X-Men#1? Hells yeah.

Inside, Richie and pals enter a virtual reality game/training simulator/gadget only Richie could afford, and while they don't become the X-Men, they do become super-heroes:

Of course, an evil scientist loaded a virus in the program, all sorts of evil hijinks ensue, which requires a total reboot of the program, as they go from this...

...to this:

The series is actually called Richie Rich: Rich Rescue according to the indica, even though that name appears nowhere on the cover or the story. The premise for our 2012 take on the richest kid in the world?

"A mix of James Bond and Indiana Jones with the bank account of Donald Trump..."

Uhh..you guys do realize that Trump and his companies filed for bankruptcy multiple times? Maybe not the model for a wealthy man that you want to be using, is all I'm saying.

Ri¢hie Ri¢h's In¢eption

Cobb and his crew had a really tough time trying to plant an idea in this billionaire's subconscious:

Oh, wait, this wasn't a dream--THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!

Nope, not a dream, just a mysterious coat of arms and some wishing cookies that Wendy The Witch baked lead to Ri¢hie and Casper going back in time to save his ancestor from a barbarian invasion and make sure his family ended up owning the oil fields there...

Mmm, am I sure that wasn't a dream...?

Tales From The Quarter Bin--NKOTB!!

You know, a lot of people give 1990s comic books a bad rap. But really, how true can that be, when those 1990s gave us this:

Oh, yeah.

Now, this wasn't a a mere one-shot. Oh, no, this was an ongoing series (that lasted only 8 issues, sadly)!!

But Harvey Comics wasn't content with only 1 series...oh, no. They hitched their wagons to the New Kids bandwagon pretty tightly, as they also published:

Yes, the series was called New Kids On The Block: Chillin'. Really and truly. (That one only lasted 7 issues).

We also had...

...New Kids On The Block: Backstage Pass (7 issues)...

...New Kids On The Block: Comic Tour '90 (which, of course, soon changed it's title to NKOTB: Comic Tour '91...that lasted 7 issues).

They were also many one shots, such as NKOTB: Magic Summer Tour, NKOTB: Step By Step, NKOTB: Hangin' Tough, and, of course...

New Kids On The Block: Valentine Girl!!

But Harvey wasn't done selling their souls yet. It wasn't enough to publish 4 separate ongoing series, all filled with awesomely bad art and bursting with NKOTB pin-ups.

No, Harvey also had to tie into their own long-running legacy, with:

Oh, yes, Richie Rich And The New Kids On The Block was real, and ran for 3 glorious issues. And...

...oh, sweet lord, Wendi The Good Little Witch And The New Kids On The Block, wherein Wendi gets a sultry, sassy new makeover and hangs with the band for 3 issues.

Sadly, there was no Hot Stuff/NKOTB crossover. However, Harvey did invite eternal damnation with this one-shot:

Yes, the New Kids On The Block Hi-C Special!!!

So, again, how can , with "Harvey Rockcomics" tearing it up like this, how can anyone say 1990s comics sucked? With stuff like this:

See what I mean?