Manic Hostess Monay Bonus--Best Green Lantern Of Them All?

Let me be perfectly clear--you are never going to convince me that Hal Jordan is "The Greatest Green Lantern" until you can convince me that he can handle a Hostess ad.

Exhibit 1:

Goddammit, Hal, you can't even make it one panel without fundamentally screwing up?!? You had one job--keeping your ring charged. I mean, come on!!

Fortunately for Sector 2814, children with sugary snacks are nearby...

And he skulks off, leaving the kids with a ravenous monster?!?!?!

OK, OK, anyone can have one bad day. Let's see how Hal does with a real villain:

Jeebus, Hal, how frakkin' incompetent can you be?!?!?!

Again, children with a suspiciously large supply of Hostess products are conveniently nearby...

So, we not only learned that Hal can be completely beaten in 2 seconds by one of Barry's lame villains. We've also found out that his ring, "the most powerful weapon in the universe," IS USELESS AGAINST TWINKIES!! Why the hell isn't every villain walking around with a satchel full of Twinkies, waiting to pummel Hal with them?!?! Plus, Hal is constantly having to be rescued by children!!

Somewhere, John Stewart and Guy Gardner are shaking their heads, wondering how the hell Hal got all of the commercial gigs...

Friday Night Fights--snell Learns To Follow The Rules Style!!

Let's dispel all questions--I screwed up.

Somehow, last week I missed the instruction that all Friday Night Fights were to include onomatopoeia.

No clever excuses, no deflecting. Bottom line--snell = suck.

But we more than make up for it this week!!

Long story short--well, there's no way to make this a short story. Suffice it to say, Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang have come to Gotham City to settle a "who is the better criminal" contest they're having. And this bizarre little tale involves boomerangs made out of mirrors, people hypnotized, people only pretending to be hypnotized, traps, traps within traps, and a broken Batsignal.

But for our purposes tonight, all we need to know is that it ends in a fisticuffs fracas with Batman and Robin and Harvey Bullock vs. Mirror Master vs. Captain Boomerang. And it goes a little something like this...

That enough onomatopoeia for you?

Spacebooger would like to note that this single Batman comic contain more Mirror Master and Captain Boomerang than 3 seasons of the CW Flash show...

No one asks why they have this showdown in Gotham of places in Detective Comics #555 (1985), by Jason Todd, Gene Colan and Bob Smith. Yes, I said Jason Todd. Don't believe me? Look:

See?

OK, OK, it was part of some silly device where Jason was supposedly writing up the case as practice for composition class. The real author--so it's claimed--is Doug Moench.

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because I actually followed the rules this time, so I should be rewarded!! So go vote!!

Manic Monday Bonus--An Important Message To The CW

Dear CW Network--

I'm not sure how you can continue to call that show of yours The Flash...

...when, in 1 1/2 seasons...

...you have yet to do even a single story...

...featuring the Mirror Master.

I mean, how can you even call it a "Rogues Gallery"...

...when you haven't had your hero...

...even meet the greatest Rogue of them all?

So get on that, OK?

Thank you for your attention.

P.S. And where the hell is Abra Kadabra?