Manic Monday--Born Too Late Again!!

We've spoken before of the Magazine Enterprises version of the western hero Ghost Rider.

But did you know that, if you were born at the right time and had understanding parents, you actually could have owned THIS:

Holy crap, an actual glow in the dark Ghost Rider scarf/mask!!!! I most certainly would have bought that for a dollar--if it weren't a more than a decade before I was born.

Seriously, Marvel--you own your own version of this guy. Revive him, and market this!! There are lots of dollars to be made...

Ad appeared in Best Of The West #11 (1953)

The Greatest Toy In The History Of Mankind!

I'm fairly certain that Don Draper is responsible for this particularly peculiar ad for toys based on Marvel's Secret Wars:

A Doctor Doom toy that speaks (sings?) doggerel about his "Doom Platoon"?? And finishes up with "TOOOOOMB!"?!?

Of course, the toy didn't do any of those things...although it did have a "secret decoding shield":

And while he didn't scream TOOOOOMB, Victor Von Doom did have a "Doom Roller":




Not to mention a Doom Cycle:

 Doom has the most badass toys!

And yet...I'm haunted by the hardcore gangsta Doom, rapping about his Doom Platoon...

Ad appeared in Marvel Team-Up #148 (1984)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Crisis On Infinite Toys?

You know who was a really cool cat?

Captain Action, that''s who!!

For you folks too young to remember (hell, I'm too young to remember), the really cool thing about the Captain Action toy was...

Interchangeable masks, costumes and accessories that let him be pretty much any hero--from any company!!

Superman and Sgt. Fury? The Lone Ranger and Batman?!? Holy inter-company crossover!!

Yes, you could buy the basic doll, then purchase kits to make your own League Of Extra-Canonical Gentlemen:

A second wave of of costumes included Spider-Man, Buck Rogers, Tonto and the Green Hornet.

It's hard to picture something like this happening today. DC and Marvel especially are so pissy at each other, they surely have it in the licencing contracts that no one is allowed to make one company's toys interchangeable with anothers.

Which is a damn shame, because a version of Toy Story based on Marvel and DC toys would be the best thing EVER.

Ad appeared in Superman #192 (1967). No, I don't know why Captain America has a gun...

Mombo Dogface To The Banana Patch?

Then again, there are toys that I'm glad my parents never got me...





What?!?!

You know, I can just picture the meeting deep inside the bowels of Kenner HQ...

JONES: Sir, there's a problem with our new doll, Nice Nancy!!

SMITH: What's the problem, Jones?

JONES: Well, we gave her a voicebox, just like you wanted...but someone screwed up!! Half the time, she just strings random nonsense phrases together! We'll have to junk the entire run!!

SMITH: Not so fast, Jones, I'm having a brainstorm. Hmmm....It's not a bug, it's a design feature!! We market the doll as if we deliberately wanted her to talk nonsense!!

JONES: You're a genius, sir!!

Ad from Mod Wheels #15 (1975).

Yet More Proof My Parents Never Loved Me!!

I scratch my poor noggin trying to fathom the reason I never had these as a youth:

Come on, Mom & Dad--7 gigantic dinosaurs for one dollar?? Why, oh why was I so cruelly denied these?

I mean, look:

Prosaurolophus, Mom & Dad--Prosaurolophus, for gosh sakes!!

And, to add insult to injury:

Well, guys, I hope you remember failing to buy these for me when it comes time for me to decide which nursing home you get shoved into...

From Alarming Tales #6 (1958).