Detente With The Planet Of The Apes!

If there's one genre trope that I truly dislike, it's the notion that once apes attain sentience, it's automatically war. (Ditto for artificial intelligence--Skynet decided to kill everyone why?)

No, I'm pretty sure that once apes or AI or kittens or whatever achieve singularity, they'll have plenty of other things to worry about besides kicking the crap out of us.

Case in point:

The Red Ghost has ditched his original Super-Apes, and given powers to two new apes--Alpha and Beta (very original). He's used a cosmic ray doohickey to give them powers (Alpha strength, Beta mind control), and taken the apparatus to deepest Africa so he can create a whole army of powered apes.

But Alpha is having no part of that!

See?

And I'll bet that if artificial intelligence ever becomes actual intelligence, they'll be content playing Bejeweled and making kitten GIFs all day...

From Iron Man #16 (1969)

Marvel Vs. The Reds!!

Letters in Fantastic Four #29 (1964), debating the use of communists as villains in Marvel's books:

For what it's worth, this very same issue featured the FF fighting the Red Ghost, so there you go...

How The FF Movie Could Have Been Better In One Easy Step (SPOILERS)

This is a minor, tiny SPOILER for something in the Fantastic Four trainwreck movie.

So go away if you don't wanna know anything.

In this movie, prior to going off on their own inter-dimensional journey, the Baxter Institute tests their "ship" on a chimpanzee.

And he comes back unharmed, which tells them that it's time to try with humans.

But seriously?!?! Have these movie-makers never read a Fantastic Four comic book?!?!

Because how can you expose a monkey (yes, I know, don't slow my roll here) to the same forces that created The Four...

...and not have him come back even a little bit altered...

...how can you NOT immediately think of THIS:

How can you be any fan of the FF and not realize immediately that THIS should be your movie?!?

I'm just saying, HUGE missed opportunity...we have on multiple apes before the humans go, and it all looks kosher, but we gradually see the apes start to display powers and intelligence when no one's looking, and everyone is so distracted when the humans get back from their mission that no one notices the animal handler sneaking of with his charges, and...

This is the one case where I should have been allowed to write movies.

Friday Night Fights--Stretch Armstrong Style!!

The power to turn intangible isn't a lot of use...

...if you forget to use it before Mr. Fantastic busts your chops!! THRAKKO indeed!

Spacebooger is more powerful than all of the Super-Apes combined...

Reed's long-distance sucka punch is from Fantastic Four #197 (1978), by Wolfman, Pollard and Sinnott.