Everything Wrong With The World--1952 Edition!!

You could always rely on the Patsy Manners strip--and particularly Aunt Eileen--to tell you everything that was wrong with the world.

Let's see, for example, the bleak hellscape of 1952:

Here are the answers from the following issue...

Oh, but we're not done yet. Let's continue our scathing critique of modern life:

Well, 1952 really sucked. Newspapers, magazines, cosmetics, apartments for childless folks, credit, divorce, bus advertising, science, and people daring to have different religious values than you. However did we survive?

Wait until they get a load of 2018...

From Treasure Chest Of Fun And Fact Vol. 7 #13-14 (1952)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Personality Workshop!!

You know that time that you were just trying to watch some TV with your friends in the rec room, when...

...when that goofy aunt of yours had to butt in with her opinions on personality!

Well, Aunt Eileen might have a point, as the kids are pretty clueless as to what "personality" is:

Yeah, keep on dreaming, George.

Don't worry, Aunt Eileen is here to crush all their childish dreams and hopes!

So, wait?!? Personality is how you look? How you feel?

"Your ability to enjoy beautiful things" is personality? What about your ability to appreciate ugly things? Or look beyond the surface?!?1

Anyway, here comes the clincher:

Yes, the most important part of your personality is...your religion.

Look, this is from Treasure Chest Of Fun and Fact Volume 13 #1 (1957). It was distributed in Catholic schools (which is kind of a rip-off, because my school never gave me comic books!), from a publisher that specialized in Catholic publications. So it's probably no surprise that religion got worked into Aunt Eileen's "personality workshop."

But to basically say that if you don't believe in God, you don't have a personality?

Bite me.

We end with perhaps a better way to state our message:

Umm, if you have to think about it, it's not your personality, it's a facade, kid.

Next?

Oh, trust me, we'll come back for that story.

Manic Monday--Don't Forget To Thank Every Human Being EVER!!

Obviously...

...this came a bit before Barry Bonds, eh?

Anyway, you are apparently required to thank every being, physical, supernatural, or symbolic, for your success in sports:

Well, this goes on for a while yet. Let's just cut to the chase: how humble sports superstars celebrate their victories:

Yes, this exactly how championship athletes celebrate, by politely distributing pieces of cake...


Hmm, maybe not...?

From Treasure Chest Of Fun And Fact Vol. 11 #17 ( 1956)

Your High School English Classes Could Have Been Much Worse!

Believe it or not, there's a way to make students hate Moby Dick more than they already do:

 Turn it into math problems!!!

(Here's the answer for you...)

You're welcome!

Hey, while we're at it...

 ...let's ruin art class, too!

 Wait...you're actively trying to help the whale kill everyone?!?! What the hell!?!?

And look:

More goddamn math!!

Next week--The Scarlet Letter organic chemistry puzzles!!

Insidious torture from Treasure Chest Of Fun And Fact #135-136 (1953)

Slay Monstrobot's Holiday Gift To Our Readers!

Look, we really don't need an explanation here--it's just a runaway circus elephant vs two crooks in a tractor! 

And....GO!!!

You're welcome.

From Treasure Chest Of Fun And Fact Vol 14 #9 (a.k.a. #255) (1959)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Is This Tomorrow?

Today's question?

Answer: No, it's not tomorrow.

This pamphlet was awful worried, though:

So who is this from?

The Cathetical Guild is the same group that published Treasure Chest comics for all those years. Not the Catholic Church itself, but a group pretty closely aligned with them. And obviously, they were a bit worried about the Red Menace.

By the way, Charles M. Schulz himself drew part of this 48-page book, although we're not terrible certain which pages. Good grief!!

Anyway, the commies are just waiting for some huge disaster, like a nationwide drought and famine, to launch their vicious takeover plans:

And it's all because of the liberal media:

And racial and religious divisions...

...and smutty movies!

The communists use a very tricky strategy to take over unions!

That really works, by the way. That's how I took over Slay Monstrobot...

And when they make the Speaker of The House into their dupe...

...he goes all Papletine on the country!

Oh, and children will turn on their parents!

Well, I could go on, but as I said, it's 48 pages!!

But to summarize:

And the best way to protect our precious bodily fluids?

Mostly sound advice.

But "Be American first"? Sowing race and racial hatred? Cozying up to Russian foreign policy? Opposing Wall Street while pretending to be the friend of the working man? Hmmm, that all seems familiar.

Maybe it is tomorrow...?

From Is This Tomorrow (1947)