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No, I am not ready for some football, thanks for asking

When I turned the TV on this afternoon, the first play of the NFL season that I saw was the quarterback for my Buffalo Bills enjoying his initial taste of Orchard Park grass. Patriots were ahead 10-0. The Bills proceeded to lose in typically heartbreaking fashion. I am not ready for football. Haven't been for years. Wrote about that a few times. But, Hank Williams Jr. wannabes, you keep asking me if I'm ready. So here is why I am not, in the ever popular reverse top-10 format: 10. Chris Berman 9. They took away the Oilers 8. "The National Football League" 7. Military and war references 6. My Bills 5. For the 900th time, I do not want to watch your "all-new" TV show 4. One of those horrible commercials is going to invade my brain, latch on, and game-day-bucket-go-boom me until I drive over a cliff on Super Bowl Sunday 3. The NFL is fully invested in shortening the lifespan of its players 2. Criminals everywhere 1. IT'S STILL BASEBALL SEASO...