Serious Saturday

 So many losses lately...  They seem to come in batches.  I won't dare try to mention them all, lest I forget /miss one and hurt the families of those who loved them so much.

There was a time decades ago when it was "Damn, the cat died, better get another".  I am sad for all of those.  But, thankfully, I "grew up".  Today, I think more fondly of previous cats like Mischief, Balloo, Snowy, Midnight, Sport-Sport, and Ralph (who was female) and some I barely remember.  

They were all good cats who ate the cheap kibble I could barely afford at the time, used their litterbox, and  were polite housemates.  I didn't appreciate them as they deserved, but we certainly shared space well enough.

They were all adopted from litters of careless people who didn't spay the female cats.  I sort of became "the guy who would take in an unwanted cat".  Usually some grey tabby female.  

Tinkerbelle was a transition point in my life (about 1982).  She was a cat from my sister.  I was renting a house at the time and Tinkerbelle was an angry cat (sufferring from a dog bite across her spine) and was clawing up my sister and her new baby.  Because of her injury and anger, I had to pay more attention to her.  I learned how to stroke her carefully just to avoid that one spot that hurt.

She came with me to the current house in 1986.  And the large yard set her free in a way.  She thrived.  I got Skeeter and LC a few years later,  and she was not happy about that.  She disappeared one day (at about 16 years old).  But she was the first cat I saw as an individual with problems and needs of her own.  She changed how I thought of cats forever.

Before her, cats had names but were sort of "generic".  After her, they were "individuals" with personalities of their own.  I was 49 when she disappeared.  I searched the neighborhood for 2 weeks.  If I ever stand before a deity and am offerred the answer to ONE question, it won't be "what is the meaning of life.  It will be "what happened to Tinkerbelle".  

Knowing I might not like the answer...  I still today hope she simply found a new loving home.  But if it was a dog or car or "wandered off to die alone", I would like to know that too.  

But I write this to say that she improved the lives of every cat I have ever had since.  Skeeter and LC thrived with my improved understanding of the lives of cats.  I gave more attention to them after Tinkerbelle disappeared.  I bought better food.  I cleaned the litterboxes more often.  I played with them often.  I treated them as individuals.

But it also meant that I felt their loss more deeply.  No more "Damn, the cat died, better get another".   When Skeeter died at 16+, I completely fell apart.  I had never had to bring a cat to the vet to be killed (kidney problems).  LC died at the same age but of unknown causes.  December 2008 and January 2010 were hard months.

But you all (and others past) were here at the time.  You helped me through those losses.  And Iza's.  And Ayla's.  We help each other...

I guess the point of all this is to say that we care about our cats and other loved animal companions.  Maybe sharing the experience of loss lessens it some.  

Every morning, the first thing I do is "feed The Mews".  Then I waken the computer and look at the Cat Blogosphere to see if another cat has crossed TRB.  A good start to the day is when I don't see a notice of one.

As I have grown older, cats have become a more focal point of my life.  They are the beings I talk to and provide for daily.  They in turn, light up my life and keep me engaged in the world.   I communicate to Thge Rest Of The World because of them.  Without The Mews, I might be a bitter old single guy railing at the world's stupidity on X.

But because of them and the Cat Blogosphere community, I think "what would a cat say".  That may sound stupid, but it helps me stay calm.  Haters hate, but cats live.  And it is better to live than hate...

"Adopt cats.  We deserve it."

Sadness at all the losses, recent and old...  Sorry, no pics today...

Saturday Scheduling

 TBT:  One counter in my kitchen is becoming a feline food/medical center!  It started with regular canned food.  Just the day's worth (the rest in in the linen closet since I buy them cases at a time).  That way, they get the right amount each day, if not on a strict schedule.  

Months ago, I had to buy some some "magic dust" (freeze-dried chicken I crush on food for Laz and Lori - they can get fussy sometimes and that gets them eating).  Then I put all the food bowls and treat pouches in the cabinet above.  And since I don't use soup spoons myself, I use them for cat food.  Which means another small container to hold them.  

Laz's "kitty Prozac" (Fluoxetine) arrived Thursday evening and I gave him his 1st daily 2.5 mg pill last night.  It says to give each evening (no idea why)I crushed it in a tiny glass bowl using a spoon and swirled it into his food.  He ate it.  So now I have the glass bowl with Laz's stuff.  And his "calming treat for each morning.

Marley has special "kidney care" wet food.  Hill's chicken and stew.  The vet gave me a pork liver mix too, but he doesn't like that as much.  I'm mixing both 50-50 with regular food for now.  I have a prescription for Royal Canin too and will get some flavors of that soon.  

 Marley goes to the vet later today for a sub-fluid injection.  I'm going to try to do it myself this time announcing each step to the technician for approval.  If that works, I will be bring the fluid bag, drip line, and needles home to do it myself for the rest of September.  After that, he gets another blood panel.  

And BTW, I got his previous results from the vet.  BUN should be 15-32 and was 63.7.  The creatinine should be 0.8-1.8 and was 2.4.  If there is no improvement after a month, I'm not sure there is any value in continuing the fluid injections and will stop.  

But also schedule him for another blood panel at the end of October.  If his numbers are worse, it means the fluids do help and I will resume them.  I just mean that if they don't help, it seems cruel to keep forcing him to suffer the procedure.  But if it helps any, I will.

Lori doesn't need any meds.  

So here's what the counter will look like...  Marley and Laz will both have their own plastic container to hold their own stuff.  

Marley's fluid bag and drip line can stay hanging on the wall over the dresser at room temperature.  But his needles and a few cans of kidney care food will stay in the container.

Laz's container will have his morning calming treats and evening calming pills.

Next to those will be 6 cans of regular food (a days worth), the jar of kibbles, the jar of freeze-dried chicken, and a small narrow vase for the soup spoons.   I suppose that, someday soon, there will be a plastic container for my own meds (*sigh*).  

I'll take pictures when the "cat counter" is all set up...  

Serious Saturday

TBT:  I am looking for both advice and perspective.  I hate to say this.  I have been hiding how bad Laz has gotten.  

Laz has become violent again (he was when he first arrived but I thought I and Lori had solved that).   He attacked Ayla a week ago.  He attacked Lori 3 times in one day the next day.  He and Marley wrassle sometimes, but it never develops into a fight; Marley is just too strong.  Laz is utterly peaceful and friendly to me.  

I had a "calming collar" on him.  I have a Feliway diffuser (and it was mostly full).  I give him considerable attention (and he enjoys that).  He is allowed outside almost any time he wants.  When I am near him he flops over to seek attention and I give it.  

He gets attention when he asks and I make sure to offer some when he is just sitting around.  I give him the foods he likes, often with freeze-dried chicken crumbled on top (the Vet told me to stop with the kibbles).  

After 3 years of peace from his terrible first home, he should be about as happy and calm as a cat can be!  But something is going wrong again.

When he attacked Ayla recently, I separated them quickly and got Ayla into the bedroom for sanctuary.  And Laz calmed down almost immediately.  I mean, his tail wasn't even puffed.  I know Laz doesn't like Ayla for some reason (though she is the smallest cat here)

But the 3 attacks on Lori disturb me greatly.  They do/did like each other.  The play together, eat together, sleep together.  They are often close together outside.  

There have been a few "fur-on-the-floor" fights, but I know that sometimes happens.  One cat goes too far in play, the other gets angry and it builds.  But then it stops.  

This wasn't like that...  The first 2 attacks were almost just one attack.  Laz attacked Lori for no apparent reason (and for once, I saw it develop).  He just jumped on her and was biting her around the throat.  She shreeched but couldn't get loose.

I grabbed Laz and tossed him a few feet away.  And he immediately attacked her again, with me right there!  I was shocked!  I grabbed Laz and tossed him out on the deck.  Lori ran and hid.  Later in the day, after I saw both walking past each other calmly, I let both outside.

Then, while I was watching. Laz stalked Lori and then attacked her again.  This time it was a screeching chase all around the yard.  Lori got in the open deck door and I closed it become Laz got there.  They have not napped together since.

I'm not sure what to do about this.  I think (sadly) that Laz cannot stay here.  I have never had cats that attacked each other.  Oh maybe a slight dust-up or temporary thing, but never anything like this.

Nor perhaps can he be around other cats.  

I posted an request to re-home him on Craigslist several days ago (honest about him having to be an only pet), but have gotten no replies. He would be a great cat if he was the only one. I don't know anyone who has no pets who wants one.  I did emphasize that he is great with people.

I can't stand the idea of surrendering him to a shelter.  His likelihood of adoption is very low.  So that would mean euthanasia in a couple weeks I think.  And he would go crazy in a shelter.  His reaction to be caged when he is used to being free in a house and outside in a yard would just make things worse for his appeal to adopters.

My house is not suited to "zoning" (and neither am I).  And isolation would eliminate what socialization he has.  I'm kind of running out of options here. I know some of you casually mention cats fighting.  I can't really stand that easily, but should I just let them and learn to put up with it?

I love Laz to pieces personally.  And he adores me and loves to be around me.

But I can't continue to have Laz viciously attacking Ayla and Lori...

Any suggestions desperately desired.