Bobservations

We watched Good Morning America while having breakfast on Christmas Day and when Santa appeared with gifts, Carlos said:

“Is that Matt Lauer?”

Sometimes he doesn’t know how really funny he is.

Clearly the Fat Bastard has no problem with elder abuse, because his administration is scaling back the use of fines against nursing homes that harm residents or place them in grave risk of injury.

Since 2013, nearly four of every 10 nursing homes have been cited at least once for a serious violation.

I hope the Fat Bastard will be okay because after Junior locks him away in Shady Pines, there’s no telling what he’ll endure. And I’m fine with that.

In a Christmas Day editorial, the Salt Lake Tribune named GOP Senator Orrin Hatch as its “Utahn of the Year.”

That sounds nice, until you read further, and they say he earned the honor by his stunning “lack of integrity.” The editorial board claims Hatch had an extraordinary year and “has done the most … made the most news … had the biggest impact. For good or for ill.”

In Hatch’s case, the paper put him in the ‘ill’ column because of his part in aiding and abetting _____’s dismantling of the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments, his role as chairman of the Senate Finance Committee in passing that GOP Tax Scam and his “utter lack of integrity that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power.”

The paper then urged Hatch to step aside, but Orrin Hatch clearly didn’t read the article, save the headline, because he Tweeted about the ‘honor.’

Stupid little asshat.

In high-larious news, someone sent a package wrapped in holiday gift paper and filled with horse manure to US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.

That’s all.

In hypocritical news, Callista Gingrich began her duties as the new US ambassador to the Vatican.

Gingrich, wearing a traditional black mantilla, presented her credentials to Pope Francis though I think she left out the part where she reveals that she is Newt Gingrich’s third wife and had an affair with him when she was a congressional aide and he was still married to his second wife.

Hey, she talked Newt into converting to Catholicism, so maybe Pope Frankie ignored the three times married adulterer parts, still, judging by that photo it might be best to keep a supply of Holy Water and an exorcist on hand.

Just Satan, er, sayin’.

Arizona’s GOP Senator Jeff Flake says he isn’t ruling out a 2020 presidential run following his term in the Senate.

Um, Jeff, that might have sounded promising when you announced your retirement and blasted _____ in a speech, but, you know, since you voted for the GOP Tax Scam, you are clearly a GOP asshat of epic proportions.

Good luck losing that election.

Speaking of the Fat Bastard, _____ visited Mar-a-Lago for Christmas, and went golfing the day after; he insisted he is on a “working vacation” but because he’s as dumb as a box of GOP Congressman, he Tweeted on Christmas night that he would get “back to work” Tuesday.

Really.

Carlos does not like making decisions; if you ask him if he’d like dinner served now, he’ll say. “I could eat.’ And I usually say that isn’t an answer, because it also implies that he could not eat.

On Christmas Day he tried that with me and we both ended up laughing so hard at his “We could … “ lines and his “If you’re ready …” nonsense and his “Whenever you want …” bull shiz.

I finally had to shout:

“Do.You.Want.Dinner.Now? Yes OR No?”

And then I get an answer.

We all know the Fat Bastard got his panties in a wad when his Attorney General, Little Jeffy Sessions, recused himself from the Russia probe because _____ believed that helped lead to Mueller’s appointment.

But this is better, and by better, I mean stupid.

Now the Fat Bastard is blaming Jeff Sessions for Ry Moore’s defeat in Alabama because it was Sessions’ departure from the Senate to the DOJ that necessitated the election Moore lost.

Like I said, stupid.

Man Candy this week is one Daniel Kaluuya, from Get Out, a disturbing horror film—or is it—along with three stars from Nocturnal Animals, the always delicious Jake Gyllenhaal, Aaron Taylor-Johnson—thanks for the nude scene—and Armie Hammer.

Hammer’s role was small but any chance I get to post his photo, well, deal with it.

Random Musings

So we celebrated our anniversary on Sunday by giving one another the traditional anniversary gifts.

The traditional gift for a Third Anniversary is Horror Movie, so we saw It, while the traditional anniversary gift for the Seventeenth Anniversary is Bacon, so we went out for dinner and I order a Bacon-Infused Vodka Bloody Mary.

We are nothing if not a traditional couple.

Of course, we also went to our favorite little Mexican restaurant here in Smallville, Salud, on our actual anniversary Tuesday and, again, wanting to be traditional, I had two Habanero Margaritas ... spicy Anniversary indeed.

Sgt. La David Johnson was killed in Niger recently, and this week his body was flown home. And, as you may know, right now _____ is involved in a kerfuffle regarding presidential phone calls to the widows of fallen soldiers; as more dead soldiers returned to America this week the Fat Bastard was golfing and Twitter came for him relentlessly enough to make him fume that Obama never called any families of fallen military personnel ... which, as usual, was a lie.

So, _____ called Sgt. Johnson’s widow, Myeshia, pregnant with their third child, just before Johnson’s body arrived home; he spoke via speakerphone to Myeshia Johnson and Congresswoman Frederica Wilson and ____ told the widow that her husband “knew what he signed up for … but when it happens it hurts anyway.”

He knew what he signed up for? That’s what a president says during a condolence call?

Rex Tillerson was right ... he’s a moron and maybe we should be glad he doesn’t make these kinds of calls.

From the ‘Sorry, Not Sorry File’ ... Josh “Sister Diddler” Duggar has lost his lawsuit against In Touch Weekly.

In 2015 the magazine reported that The Diddler was accused of molesting his younger sisters while they were all minors. In June of this year, The Diddler and his sisters separately sued In Touch’s parent company, Bauer Publishing, claiming that the local police had provided In Touch with their names, even though their identities should have been redacted by police before being handed over to the magazine.

The court told The Diddler and his sister to take a seat because it wasn’t the magazine’s fault that police released their names.

The Duggars’ suit against the police is continuing. You know, because they want this story kept secret so they keep suing about it to make some money because not one of them knows how to do anything but whore their personal lives to the media.

As my BFF Judge Judy would, “Get.A.Job.”

The New Yorker recently published an article about what America might face if _____ were impeached and Mike Pence became president, and this is just a snippet:

“_____ thinks Pence is great,” [Steve] Bannon told me. But, according to a longtime associate, _____ also likes to “let Pence know who’s boss.” A staff member from _____’s campaign recalls him mocking Pence’s religiosity. He said that, when people met with _____ after stopping by Pence’s office, _____ would ask them, “Did Mike make you pray?” Two sources also recalled _____ needling Pence about his views on abortion and homosexuality. During a meeting with a legal scholar, _____ belittled Pence’s determination to overturn Roe v. Wade. The legal scholar had said that, if the Supreme Court did so, many states would likely legalize abortion on their own. “You see?” _____ asked Pence. “You’ve wasted all this time and energy on it, and it’s not going to end abortion anyway.” When the conversation turned to gay rights, _____ motioned toward Pence and joked, “Don’t ask that guy—he wants to hang them all!”

He wants to hang them all! Isn’t that funny? Joking about Killing The Gays? Now, if you think it is funny—and what would you be doing here then anyway?—think about it like this:

What is it was Black people Pence wanted to hang? Jews? Baptists? Catholics? Women? Children? Still find it funny, Asshat?

Now, if wanna hear something really funny ... on Monday the  Republican-led Senate confirmed Callista Gingrich, wife of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, as the US ambassador to the Vatican.

Yes. An adulterer is our ambassador to the Catholic Church. Callista, who, judging by her photo is a tight-ass of epic proportions, was a congressional aide—an intern a la Monica Lewinsky—when she began a six-year affair with Newt Gingrich, who was married at the time. Married at the time to his second wife, with whom he cheated with on his first wife.

Yes, our ambassador to the Vatican is an adulterer, but then this is America Under _____ so adultery is in even though to the Vatican adultery is sin!

Clearly a _____ supporter because he’s wearing an ‘I Stand For The Anthem’ t-shirt ... but he uses the American flag to sit on. A true American ....

More funny ... Davis Magnet IB Elementary, a predominately black public school in Mississippi named after Jefferson Davis will have its Confederate tied namesake stripped next year and replaced with the title of another president whose character students, parents and teachers have said is more fitting ... Barack Obama.

Pity the poor Lying Hypocritical Misogynistic Homophobic Racist Bigot In Chief who is probably fuming at this news.

Oliver Baggerman is Hot ... scorching; he was born in Tenerife in the Canary Islands on October 5, 1987 and was once, believe it or not a plumber ... lord help me I need my pipes cleaned. In 2008 he joined the Supermodel television competition and won. Now he walking catwalks and traveling the world instead of lying on the floor of my kitchen working on my plumbing ... the plot of so many gay porn films.

Just sayin’ and just showin'.

It looks like the rainbow will stay on the beach.

A rainbow lifeguard tower in Venice, California which was the subject of a petition campaign to keep it from being repainted to the standard blue color of other lifeguard towers has been saved by the L.A. County Board of Supervisors who voted unanimously to save the rainbow after receiving 11,000 signatures on a petition to save it.

Openly gay L.A. Supervisor Sheila Kuehl introduced the motion to let the stripes stand and in addition has asked that the tower be dedicated in memory of the late Bill Rosendahl, the first openly gay man elected to the Los Angeles City Council; in fact, the entire section of Venice Beach where the lifeguard tower stands will be renamed after him.

It’s purty, no?