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Show of hands …who saw this coming?

While Khloé Kardastrophe and her philandering Baby Daddy, Tristan Thompson, were ALLEGEDLY making a go of it—for TV ratings, of course—rumor has it all is not well in the House of Fame-Whore and Serial Cheater.

A source—and you know it’s That Woman trying to rustle up some coins—says:

“Khloé and Tristan are fighting constantly. All the time. She doesn’t know how she’s going to rebuild trust in him …”

And we’ll stop; Khloe hooked up with a guy who left his pregnant girlfriend for her so why would she think he would remain faithful to her? I mean, c’mon, anyone could have seen this coming.

Jose Feliciano could have seen it.

Ray Charles could have seen it.

Stevie Wonder …I’ll stop.

Still, it’s sure to be a Very Special Episode of KUWTK when Khloe and Tristan implode, and ratings are what counts in that family.

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It seems like eons ago when Mariah Carey and her billionaire boyfriend broke up so she could date a backup dancer, but it’s only been since last year.

Certainly, it seems like Packer broke up with her because Mimi never turned down a check and a billionaire would have had tons of checks. And, to be sure, since he’d proposed to her and gave her a 35-carat diamond engagement ring—that cost some $190 million—you knew Mariah would find a way to keep it.

And she did, and she wore it all last year, even after the breakup and even after starting to date her new little man, but rumor has it she finally sold it … at a loss. And she seems to be playing off that substantial loss of coins as away of proving she’s letting go of the past because she sold a $10 million ring for a shade over 2 million.

Or, maybe she sold it because she needs the coins because, let’s face it, 2018 Mariah Carey is not nearly as popular, talented, reliable, able to perform as say, well, some earlier version of Mimi.

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I only post this story because I think Brody Jenner is hot, so here goes…

Brody Jenner is getting married; he and his fiancée Kaitlynn Carter have been together for four years and engaged for two. They haven’t announced the wedding date but ALLEGEDLY it’s very close and will take place where the couple got engaged: Nihi Sumba, Indonesia. But … Brody’s family, Caitlyn Jenner, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, who were invited, are not going.

Ouch. Caitlyn ALLEGEDLY has work commitments that have been set up for months and couldn’t be changed just for her son’s wedding, and Kylie and Kendall aren’t going because … they’re Kylie and Kendall and if That Woman couldn’t turn Brody’s wedding into a TV special so her girls could get paid, well … you know.

Still, rumor has it that Brody and Kendall-Kylie have grown estranged over the years—possibly because he doesn’t have a TV show—and there’s an ALLEGED rift between Brody and Caitlyn that goes back to when she married Kris, whom Brody blames for putting up a wall between Caitlyn and her non-Kardashian kids because, you know, again, they weren’t on television and she couldn’t make any money off them, so what use were they.

Gosh, that family, it’s an ugly gift that keeps on giving.

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Halle Berry and her third husband Olivier Martinez were married for two years. That’s long for Halle, but their divorce is taking even longer. Halle first filed for divorce back in October 2015 after months of rumors that the marriage was over.

Olivier then filed his own divorce papers, so Halle filed for divorce a second time because, well, she used fake names in her first filing and that made things messier.

In 2016, the courts sent a letter to Halle and Olivier telling them to make some moves on their divorce or it will be dismissed, and they’ll have to start over.

That was a year and a half ago, and nothing has been settled and now the unhappy couple was sent documents from the Superior Court of Los Angeles basically telling them to get this thing done.

Sheesh, even the judge wants this over, what’s taking so long?

Perhaps Halle’s holding out for the silver Anniversary of her divorce filing because it doesn’t look like she’ll ever get a Silver Wedding Anniversary.

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But …maybe Halle is ready to move on because she’s ALLEGEDLY found herself a new man … Keanu Reeves.

No. Seriously.

It ALLEGEDLY all began when Halle signed on for John Wick 3 a few months back and apparently got on really well with Keanu. And this time Halle’s picked a man who’s her age; Keanu is 53, and kinda dim-witted hot, while Halle is 51 and kinda hot, if you’re into that sort of thing, you know, women.

And now that they’re making movie magic together, or as much magic and the second sequel of a film I’ve never seen nor want to see, it’s been ALLEGED that the two are an item.

Still, as noted earlier, Halle hasn’t even divorced her third husband so the idea that she and Keanu will tie the knot is far-fetched, were it that it involved any other woman besides Halle Berry who has infamously said, at least twice, that she would never marry again.

But she’ll likely never divorce again either.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Hillary Clinton, on the Treasury Department’s plan to add a woman to the ten-dollar bill:

“I don’t like the idea that as a compromise you would basically have two people on the same bill. One would be a woman. That sounds pretty second class to me, so I think a woman should have her own bill.”

You know, she’s right. Sure, it’d be said to see that guy who’s on the ten-spot go, but let him go, he had his turn.

Rosa Parks!

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Jonathan Groff, on his coming out:

“When I came out, I understood that maybe I wouldn’t be the male romantic lead in a Nicholas Sparks movie. And I’m okay with that. I love theater. I came to New York to be a theater actor. There are a lot of out gay theater actors ... I'd rather be a working actor and not hiding anything in my personal life. Weirdly, after I came out, I began to get a lot more film and television work. That’s all a way of saying that the reason I don’t mind talking about it over and over is because that is the way acceptance happens, and that’s the way you break down those walls. It’s what Harvey Milk said about coming out to all your friends. It’s important. And the more we talk about it, then the less we’ll finally have to talk about it. And for me personally, it feels liberating. I enjoy talking about it because I felt I couldn’t talk about it for so long.”

Word. Everyone needs to come out, as L,G,B, or T, and then there is no shame, no secrecy, no big deal.

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President Barack Obama, on the filled-to-the-rim GOP Clown Car:

"They’re going to be making a whole bunch of stuff up, and when I say a lot of stuff, I mean a lot of stuff. You know, we’ve got some healthy competition in the Democratic Party, but I’ve lost count on how many Republicans are running for this job. They’ll have enough for an actual Hunger Games. That is an interesting bunch."

May the odds be ever in our favor.

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Jimmy Carter, former President, on marriage equality and his own personal faith:

“That’s no problem with me. I think everybody should have a right to get married regardless of their sex. The only thing I would draw line on, I wouldn’t be in favor of the government being able to force a local church, congregation to perform gay marriages if they didn’t want to. But those two partners should be able to go to a local courthouse or to a different church and get married. That’s no problem.”

It really is that simple, and why the wingnuts don’t see it explains why they’re wingnuts.

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Brody Jenner, on his father Bruce’s transition to Caitlyn Jenner and how it has affected their relationship:

“Well, growing up, I didn’t really have the greatest relationship with Bruce. I didn’t see him that often. And Caitlyn is just a much freer person. It’s incredible to see the difference between Caitlyn and Bruce. Bruce and I kind of didn’t really get along. And Caitlyn? It’s literally like trying to get to know somebody — like your dad — over again. But in a better way.”

The times they are a’changing.

Good on Brody, and good on Caitlyn for becoming herself, and making herself a better parent.

PS: Brody's hot.

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Jimmy Carter, again, on if he thinks Jesus would have approved of same-sex marriage:

“I believe he would, I don’t have any verse in scripture…I believe Jesus would approve gay marriage, but that’s just my own personal belief. I think Jesus would encourage any love affair if it was honest and sincere and was not damaging to anyone else, and I don’t see that gay marriage damages anyone else.”

Again, very clear very plain; who does my marriage hurt?

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Jonathan Groff, again, on whether or not he was disappointed that Madonna was not allowed backstage after she was seen texting in the theater while he was onstage in Hamilton:

“No. Because that bitch was on her phone. You couldn’t miss it from the stage. It was a black void of the audience in front of us and her face there perfectly lit by the light of her iPad through three-quarters of the show.”

I love that he called her out, especially since Madge and her people say it never happened.

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Hillary Clinton, again, on which SNL actress — Amy Poehler or Kate McKinnon — does the best Hillary Clinton:

“Amy’s a friend of mine and Kate’s doing a great job. You’re not going to get me to pick one or the other. I think I’m the best Hillary Clinton.”

True dat.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Lindsay Lohan spent last week in New York, celebrating her birthday, and then rushed back to London to begin preparing for her stage debut in David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow.

Unfortunately, it seems she’s up to her old tricks. A source — and you know it’s Dina “All press is good press” Lohan — says Lindsay is off-the-wagon on on-the-party-bus again and is so out of control that she arrives late to rehearsals late, is unprepared to rehearse, or simply doesn’t show at all.

It’s like when she did Georgia Rule, with Jane Fonda, and the CEO of production publicly chastised her  for her unprofessional behavior; it’s like when The Canyons screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis called her “mixed up,” “scattered” and “bossy;” it’s like when she kept the film crew of her reality show docu-series waiting because she “was unavailable” to film. It’s typical Lohan.

On the other hand, an unnamed spokesperson for the production — and that could be Dina, too, after a box of Chardonnay — says that “rehearsals are not yet under way and casting still in progress.”

So, maybe she isn’t late? Or maybe she isn’t even actually cast in it yet?

Remember all the run-up to the pre-divorce ceremony of Kim Kardastrophe and The Madman? I mean it was everywhere; they were everywhere; and after the wedding, for a few scant days, they were everywhere else. Now? Not so much. But maybe it’s because Kim has figured out a way to make her third marriage last longer than the first two: never see your husband.

Since marrying in that trashy Italian wedding forty-eight days ago, the K’s have spent exactly nine days together, most of which occurred during the honeymoon-slash-Photoshop workshop.

A source — and you know it’s That Woman whoring out the gossip on her own children — says Kim and Kanye have started living separate lives ever since Kanye discovered that his porn-star-fame-whore-thrice-married bride only cares about herself, her show, her family, herself:

“Kanye now recognizes that Kim’s main interest are shopping and lounging around a pool. It’s really concerning to Kanye that Kim doesn’t even want to try to experience new things.”

Like threesomes; with her husband and, ALLEGEDLY, an Italian designer?

Oh Katherine Heigl, you do go on.

After she bolted Grey’s Anatomy for a film career that lasted all of a hot minute, she dragged her ass back to TV and a new drama, a Scandal-lite NBC show called State of Affairs. She is known to be, well, a bitch on TV sets and film sets, parking lots and grocery stores, and so that begs the question, what does she have to say for herself?

“I certainly don’t see myself as being difficult. I would never intend to be difficult. If I ever disappointed somebody, it was never intentional.”

Wow. Could that be more of an admission that she’s a raging bitch? I would never intend to be difficult. Okay, so it wasn’t a plan, it just was? That’s like the ultimate non-apology-apology; if you thought I was a controlling, backstabbing, talentless hack, well, that wasn’t my intention.

Sit down Katie.

After Jenny McCarthy was let go fired quit fired from The View she announced that she would be back on her own show, yakking the yak, uninterrupted and, possibly, airing opposite The View. I figured she’d be live Tweeting, but apparently she got a job on not-so-Sirius radio for a one hour a week — down from five hours of TV so it is a step down, y’all — called Dirty, Sexy, Funny; I’m guessing Stupid, Lame, and Soon-To-Be-Cancelled was already taken?

Here’s what Jenny lied to told Howard Stern about her career:

“If I wanted to stay with Rosie and I was a Republican, I would still be there right now [but] it’s like halfway into it, it was probably around February, I went, ‘God I’m not allowed to be the best of me here,’ I feel like to have a voice, to be able to speak without having to interrupt people…It’s very difficult, and I don’t like doing it, it’s very uncomfortable, so I felt like, ‘You know what? Maybe this is just a stepping stone for me to go somewhere where I can actually be my full self.’”

I think she means full of herself.

PS Jenny had a talk show on VH1 with much the same premise before she was hired by The View and that went by the wayside faster than you can say Jenny who?

Meanwhile, back at serious actress Lohan.

I guess rehearsals for Speed-the-Plow haven’t started because as soon as Lohan hit London, she was off again to a film festival in Ischia, Italy where her greatest accomplishment was getting drunk and taking a tumble.

The obvious question is why was Lindsay at a film festival? Her last film crashed and burned in a week at the box office and the big film she was signed onto at the end of her reality show docu-series never happened so why was she there?

Party. Party for the girl who’s been giving interviews all over England saying she wants to be taken seriously as an actress and not just some globe-trotting Tara Reid 2.0. I mean she keeps saying she moved to London because the paparazzi aren’t as in-your-face and she can act and work and be on-set, not some cracked out wacktress going to any film festival because someone gave her a free ticket for publicity.

But she did, and she partied and then she fell down and went boom. Like her career.

Brody Jenner is hot; smoking hot. I know, he might be kind of a douche, but I can overlook the douchiness for the hotness. He looks like a younger version of his father, Bruce Jenner, before age and Botox and ombre hair coloring and facelifts got in the way. I could just stare at him all day …

But I’m not here to talk about his beauty; I’m here to talk about his feud with the Kash Kow, Kim Kardastrophe-West. Y’all remember that he didn’t go to the pre-divorce ceremony in Italy because Kim wouldn’t let him bring his girlfriend, though she cleared space in an overhead compartment for NorthSouthEastWest, right?

But Brody is now saying he didn’t go because he was “busy” playing DJ in Chicago and couldn’t squeeze in his step-sister’s mockery of marriage because, well, there will be others. Still, please to explain how Brody beat feet, with his girlfriend, to attend the wedding of Kim’s ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush over the weekend?

Yup, he skipped the Kash Kow Fiasco but went to see her ex tie the knot. I’m guessing that won’t air on their “reality” show because it’s all too real.

God, I loathe Cameron Diaz. I find her kinda skanky, very annoying, lacking in talent, and just plain obnoxious. I also think — and maybe it’s just me — that the only reason she has a career is because she puts out … ALLEGEDLY. I have no other explanation for her film career.

And while she went to the premiere of her latest film, Sex Tape … yawn … she was apparently a giant bitch to the fans, er, fan who gathered along the red carpet to catch a whiff of her. In fact, both she and her Sex Tape co-star Jason Segel flopped with fans because they refused to sign autographs or even allow pictures to be taken. In fact, the only thing Cameron deigned to do was lecture a fan:

“When a 20-something fan asked Jason for a photo as he left the premiere he said, ‘No’ and literally slammed the car door right in the fan’s face. People gasped, that’s how bad it was. And when Cameron was spotted, she also refused the fans telling them, ‘If I did it for you I’d have to do it for everyone.”

Funny, she makes out there was a mob of people waiting for them after the film, when there was just a handful of fans on the sidewalk.

I’m kind of hoping that only a handful of fans will bother to see this film.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Last week I joked about Miss Justine Bieber’s Tweet’s that she was ‘retiring’ from music and how that would be a good thing.

And maybe it’s true. It seems that The Bieb’s new documentary, Believe, which premiered on Christmas day, is a certified bomb and may have sparked the foot-stomp-head-snap-I-quit Tweet.

BoxOfficeMojo.com reports that “Believe” opened in 14th place, earning only $1.25 million, far below Miss Bieber’s last “documentary” “Never Say Never,” which made some $14 million on day one.

Like I said, maybe that retirement Tweet was the real deal.

Christmas!

So last week came the news that Tori Spelling’s husband, Dean McDermott, was cheating on her with some woman — Emily Goodhand ... hee hee goodhand — he met in Canada.

Sound familiar? Yeah, kinda cuz that's where the then-married-to-someone-else Dean and the then-married-to-someone-else Tori started banging each other a few years back. So, is it any surprise that Dean schtupped some other woman on another recent trip to Canada; I mean, it's his MO. But now it's come back home, where Tori is making his life unbearable because he's a serial cheater ... ALLEGEDLY.

Publicly, Tori refuses to talk about Dean’s cheating because she doesn’t want to shatter the image of “picture perfect family” and she has also refused to let Dean move out for that same reason, but is making his life hell at home. To keep that picture painted, she even posted a cheerful Christmas message to her, um, fans:

“As another year comes to a close, I can’t help but feel so grateful for all of my blessings. My beautiful family, my amazing friends, and of course, all of you!”

And she signed the ecard:  “T, Dean, Liam, Stella, Hattie + Finn.”

Like I said, no surprise that Dan cheats; that's how he met wife#2.

And now, maybe the aptly named Goodhand will be wife#3 until Dean heads back to Canada... 

Last December, Keri Russell announced she had left her husband of seven years, Shane Deary.

It wasn’t a big deal since the last time Keri Russell made any real news was when she cut her hair back in the 90s. But, um, yeah, now there might be a story there. It seems there’s a rumor going around that Keri might have been banging her costar in The Americans, Matthew Rhys.

There have been multiple sightings of Russell getting’ cozy with Rhys popping up all over the place, with a lot of them appearing just as Russell announced that her marriage was kaput.

I was going to say more about this but, well, it’s Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys, so even I don’t ca—

So Dwyane Wade is engaged to actress Gabrielle Union. He even bought her an engagement the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass to prove his love for Union. Trouble is, a few months back, while he and Gabby were, ahem, “on a break” Dwyane hooked up with some woman and, yeah, she’s the mother of one of his children now.

Happy Engagement!

Dwyane has acknowledged that he’s the Baby Daddy but doesn’t want any of you, or Gabby, to forget that the baby was conceived when he and Gabby weren’t together for about a hot minute. And when they got back together, he told her about the pregnancy.  The baby was just 6 weeks old when Wade popped the question to Gabrielle.

But it doesn’t end there; apparently the Dwyane Wade Baby Mama is also the Baby Mama for one of Damon Wayans’ offspring; perhaps she has a thing for men with DW initials?

According to the birth certificate, Wade’s baby mama is 30-year-old Aja Metoyer, and while there are no details about their relationship — other than that baby — it is clear that Aja’s two other children were fathered by “Happy Endings” star Damon Wayans Jr.

Like I said, if you’re a man with the initials DW, run!

So, Beyoncé. I’m not much of a fan because everything about her seems so calculated and wind-machined.

But every so often she goers and does something so idiotic that I have to comment; like a few years back, when she and destiny’s Child recorded a Christmas album that included “Silent Night” and Queen B added a couple of words to the song and listed herself as co-writer.

Of “Silent Night.”

Now, with that new music that she dropped on us unexpectedly comes the story of a track called “XO” and the beginning of the track where you hear a short little audio clip of what sounds like NASA control talking to a space shuttle. Turns out, that’s exactly what it I; it’s an archival audio clip from the Challenger disaster from 1986 that Beyoncé is sampling.

Poor taste, Bey, and now everybody’s piling on.

June Scobee Rodgers, the widow of Dick Scobee, the shuttle commander on the ill-fated STS-51-L mission, is “disappointed” to hear of Beyoncé’s use of the clip:

“We have always chosen to focus not on how our loved ones were lost, but rather on how they lived and how their legacy lives on today.”

And so now Beyoncé’s walking it back:

 “My heart goes out to the families of those lost in the Challenger disaster. The song ‘XO’ was recorded with the sincerest intention to help heal those who have lost loved ones and to remind us that unexpected things happen, so love and appreciate every minute that you have with those who mean the most to you.”

She used a nearly thirty-year-old audio clip as a healing message? Howsabout writing your own damned healing messages, B, instead of taking one that still hurts families today?

And plus, it’s not even a real apology, you know. Where’s the “I’m sorry”? It makes me think she had no idea what the audio clip was about but felt it fit her song so she’d damn well use it.

Cuz it’s all about Beyoncé, you know.

Kris Jenner will never be Mother of the year, we all know that, but it still comes as somewhat of a surprise when you hear what a terrible woman she truly is, and makes sense out of the fact that Wendy Williams, when talking Jenner on her show, always refer to her as “That Woman” or “That Mother.”

It was revealed in the new issue of Cosmo that Kris Jenner one called her nine-year-old daughter Khloe Kardashian the special kind of ugly that can only be fixed with plastic surgery.

From Khloe’s mouth:

“She didn’t mean harm, but when I was around nine I overheard my mom telling her friend I needed a nose job. I was shocked. I hadn’t even thought about it.”

That Mother. A nine-year-old needs a nose job? Kris Jenner needs parenting lessons though it’s far too late for that.

And now Kris is playing the shock-and-awe story about Khloe’s remarks, saying her daughter blindsided her with the news. Note that she isn’t saying she didn’t say it, just that she’s shocked Khloe’s talking about it.

According to a source — and you know it’s Kris Jenner herself — Kris absolutely blindsided by the comments: “She wasn’t given a heads up it was even discussed! Kris has been getting heavily criticized on social media and she has been reading all of the negative comments. She is furious with Khloé for even bringing it up, and thinks it makes her look like a bad mother.”

Um, no Kris, you make yourself look like a bad mother by telling anyone that your child needs plastic surgery and then whoring out another daughter’s sex tape to make a name for yourself.

Speaking of Kris Jenner, it’s no secret that she doesn’t like some members of her extended family because they don’t make any money for her. Like Brody Jenner.

And so i kinda like that he’s been speaking out about how his father, Bruce, is doing so much better now that he and That Mother have split up; and I kinda like how That Woman ain't happy about Brody saying things like:

“He seems like he is doing great. Seems like better than ever.”

Maybe because he’s out from under That Woman’s thumb.

PS That's not really gossip, but I needed an excuse to put up a picture of Brody Jenner. He's hot, like his daddy used to be.

Taylor Swift is in trouble again, but not for meeting a boy, dating a boy, breaking up with a boy, writing as song about the boy … all in one day …. Again

No, this time it’s rocks that have Taylor in the hot seat.

See, Swifty bought a massive house in Watch Hill, Rhode Island and has been doing construction on the property, especially outside, to make the house more private. She’s having a crew move boulders along the coast but the trouble is no one got a permit and the moving of the rocks might eventually affect the coastline.

Environmentally bad, to be sure, but , um, if a pile of rocks means I don’t have to look at Swifty’s Parade of Future Number One Songs drag in and out of the manse, that might be a good thing. No?

PS Is it just me, or does Swifty look a little like a certain horror movie slasher?