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Bobservations

This Carlos story needs a flashback because we dig deep …

When we first moved to Camden and purchased Casa Bob y Carlos, we asked Carlos’ Aunt Gloria to visit, and she did … in December when it’s frigid in Camden. And Gloria had only ever lived in Mexico City and Miami and San Juan, so the cold was not her thing. But we tried to make her comfortable and raised the heat while she was here; it got so hot in the house I was in T-shirt and shorts the whole time, but Gloria never felt warm. One day she opened the door to her room and shouted down the hallway:

“Please, boys, turn up the heat. I will happily pay the bill.”

Turn it up we did but she was never warm—which is why she never visited in winter again—but the joke was on us because when she left and I was cleaning the guest room I noticed the vents in her room, and in her bathroom, were all closed! Oy.

So, cut to this morning, and I turn on the AC at about 7:30. We keep the AC at 80-degrees because there are ceiling fans in every room and the house stays cool, but as I walked into the kitchen Carlos says:

“I’ll gladly pay the AC bill for some cool air.”

And I responded thusly:

“You picked the wrong morning to fuck with me.”

“What—"

“I got the most horrendous cramp in my foot at 3AM and couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I got up to take an aspirin hoping that would ease the pain and hobbled into the kitchen to find … we had no aspirin or Tylenol or anything thing. So I lay in bed wincing and tossing and turning.”

“I thought I told you we needed Ty—”

“Nope, save that story, sister, because if you’d said we needed Tylenol we would have Tylenol.”

“Well, I also had a bad night’s sleep because when I came to bed at 11:30 your phone kept making that sound it makes when you plug the charger into it and I had to get up in the dark and search the room for your phone to unplug it and plug it back in and then try to get some sleep.”

“Did you get some sleep?”

“I did.”

“Well I didn’t get any sleep and so now you will be paying for that for the rest of your natural life.”

Well, at least until the end of the day.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from September 2010 and is entitled “Someone Has it Easy On Caturday...”

"While Carlos and I cleaned house and reorganized a closet … yes, we are that much fun....someone else took a snooze.

Lucky."

Oy, the punim on that cat!

Well, Suri Cruise has officially severed ties with her estranged dad, Tom Cruise, by officially changing her last name from Cruise to Noelle.

$$$cientology; destroying families everywhere.

Last week the Department of Defense released the names of the 18 servicemembers killed since the start of Cankles War for Profit and DUI Pete’s War for Ego. 

But then without a word the names of Lt. Tyler James Feehan, 25, Pvt. Isabella González, 19, Sgt. Michael Emmanuel Swinton, 30,  and Sgt. Ángel Rampersad, 28, were removed from the list of dead Americans because according to the Regime, since they died during a ceasefire their deaths are not war casualties.

Say their goddamned names. They died for this country!

Sophie Cunningham, basketball player, is the latest athlete to step up against trans women in sports saying she wants to protect children but, um, Sophie, you ignorant fool?

The NCAA president has said there are fewer than 10 openly transgender athletes out of 510,000 athletes yet this dominates headline.

Sophie and the rest of her ick, I mean, ilk might best want to stand up for the women and girls raped by the president and his friendly pedophile buddy.

The thoughts that cross my mind as sleep … we all know cats have excellent night vision; they can leap to the tops of closet shelves, climb atop a bookcase, roam the house all night long so …

Why do they step on my face in the middle of the night?

Cuz it’s a choice, right Rosita?

PS The look on Rosie's face clearly says, "Keep coming for me, buddy, and you'll find out what I step in right before walking across your face!"

In another shameless display of GOP and MAGAt hypocrisy and goose-stepping for their cult leader, think back in recent history when the Cult went mad that NYC had elected a Muslim mayor just 25 years after 9/11 and now they are literally handing nuclear weapons to Saudi Arabia, the country that raised the 9/11 attackers because Cankles got paid by the Saudis.

In all honesty I don’t think they’re declaring Mitch McConnel dead because he doesn’t have an unqualified sister to replace him.

Hubert Kacprowicz is a lot of things ... actor ... Biomedical engineer ... and Renaissance man; he's also blond, blue-eyed and tall, so Would You Hit It?

Miss Lindsey Is Dead

Well, well, well …♪♫ Ding Dong ♫♪ Lindsey Graham is dead. I saw lots of words about it on Facebook yesterday and kinda put it all together and do what he asked of America in 2016 when he said, on camera:

"Use my words against me."

And so these are some of his words … but first the facts: Miss Lindsey died Saturday night at his Washington home of what his office calls a “brief and sudden illness.” He served four terms, chaired the Judiciary and Budget committees, and spent decades as one of the loudest voices in American foreign policy.

First thing Sunday morning the stories came in … Cankles declared Lindsey a "true American Patriot" while fellow war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu said Lindsey was a beloved friend. But now let’s hear Lindsey Graham in his own words:

In December 2015, Graham called Cankles a "race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot."

In February 2016 he said: "I think he's a kook. I think he's crazy."

Also in 2016 he said: “There’s only one way to make America great again. Tell [him] to go to hell.”

In May he wrote: "If we nominate [him] we will get destroyed... and we will deserve it."

And he refused to vote for him. But then Cankles won the presidency and Lindsey Graham discovered golf and by late 2017 Lindsey was scolding the media for calling the president a “kook.” Not the first time his own words came back at him.

His best friend was John McCain, a man Cankles the Draft Dodging Bone Spur mocked for being captured in Vietnam and kept mocking even after McCain dead. Lindsey Graham wept for McCain on the Senate floor and then kissed the ass of the man who spat on McCain’s grave.

In response to Cankles remarks about McCain, Miss Lindsey said: “I don’t like what he says about John McCain but when we play golf, it’s fun.”

The words he wanted used against came in 2016, when he swore that if a Supreme Court seat opened in an election year, the next president should fill it; in 2018 he repeated the promise and added: "hold the tape." Then, in October 2020, as Judiciary chairman, he rammed Amy Coney Barrett onto the Court eight days before the election.

In November 2020, Georgia's Republican secretary of state said Graham had called him asking about tossing legally cast mail ballots. Graham lied about it and denied it, fought the grand jury subpoena all the way to the Supreme Court, and lost.

On January 6th, with the glass still on the Capitol floors, doors still broken into pieces and insurrectionists’ feces still smeared on the walls, Lindsey Graham announced:

"Count me out. Enough is enough."

He was done with Cankles … but within months he was back at Mar-Illegal.

He cheered the country into war with Iraq and just three weeks ago he was on television promising that if diplomacy failed, Cankles was "going to take the Strait of Hormuz."

Graham infamously and shamelessly and relentlessly defended Cankles during corruption investigations, impeachment proceedings, rape trials, and manner of legal controversies, and was widely known as the biggest brown-noser in Washington.

Now, to be fair Lindsey was, at one time, a fair politician, working with both parties to get things done, and to the very end of his life, he was one of Ukraine's most reliable champions in the Senate. In fact, he died the day after standing beside President Zelensky in Kyiv. He will deserve some praise for that …

Still, during his Senate tenure, South Carolina has routinely ranked among the nation's worst-performing states in education, healthcare, poverty, infant mortality, and overall quality-of-life indicators. Miss Lindsey, long rumored to be a deeply closeted homosexual, was also a staunch opponent of LGBTQ+ rights.

We have Lindsey Graham to thank for that.

But how do you weigh that against a man who saw Cankles for exactly what he was, spoke of him as a bigot and a racist and a kook, watched him denigrate his best friend, even in death, and then spent over a decade bowing and scraping to a racist, fascist, con artist, grifter, thief and sexual predator.

Bless his heart.

The Funny Papers

Gary Huck, Chris Britt, Rick McKee, Bill Bramhall, Max Espinoza, Matt Wuerker, Dennis Goris, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Lalo Alcaraz, Matt Davies, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Benjamin Slyngstad

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