Showing posts with label Amy Klobuchar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amy Klobuchar. Show all posts
Sunday, February 16, 2020
The Funny Papers
Friday, December 06, 2019
I Didn't Say It ...
William Barr, _____’s Attorney general Bulldog, at the Third Annual Attorney General’s Award for Distinguished Service in Policing, warning certain “communities” that they could find themselves without protection if they don’t respect the men in blue:
“I think today, American people have to focus on something else, which is the sacrifice and the service that is given by our law enforcement officers. And they have to start showing, more than they do, the respect and support that law enforcement deserves―and if communities don’t give that support and respect, they might find themselves without the police protection they need.”
Listen you fat fuck, the police are there to protect all of us, and for you to threaten people who don’t act the way you want smacks of a dictatorship, and _____ is no dictator, he’s just a dick.
And so are you.
Fuck off, lap dog.
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Amy Klobuchar, Democratic presidential candidate, calling _____’s behavior unambiguously impeachable and a “global Watergate”:
"This is something where the Founding Fathers themselves, James Madison said, the reasons we needed impeachment provisions was that he feared that a president would betray the trust of the American people to a foreign power. That is why this is proceeding. I see it simply as a global Watergate."
That’s it in a nutshell.
Too bad the nuts that support this traitor don’t see that because they live in fear of a mean Tweet.
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Lisa Page, former FBI lawyer who has been lewdly attacked by _____ who accused her of bias against him, is now speaking out:
“Honestly, his demeaning fake orgasm was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had stayed quiet for years hoping it would fade away, but instead it got worse. … It had been so hard not to defend myself, to let people who hate me control the narrative. I decided to take my power back. Those texts were selected for their political impact. They lack a lot of context. Many of them aren’t even about him or me. We’re not given an opportunity to provide any context. The thing about the FBI that is so extraordinary is that it is made up of a group of men and women whose every instinct is to run toward the fight. It’s in the fiber of everybody there. It’s the lifeblood. So it’s particularly devastating to be betrayed by an organization I still care about so deeply. And it’s crushing to see the noble Justice Department, my Justice Department, the place I grew up in, feel like it’s abandoned its principles of truth and independence.”
The good news, other than Lisa Page speaking truth to power, is that on December 9th, the Justice Department inspector general report into _____’s charges that the FBI spied on his 2016 campaign will come out, and leaked press accounts indicate that the report will exonerate Page of the allegation that she acted unprofessionally or showed bias against _____.
Wait. You mean, _____ lied …. Again. And still.
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Bernie Sanders, Democratic presidential candidate, on rival Michael Bloomberg’s $31.5 million ad buy:
“I’m disgusted by the idea that Michael Bloomberg or any other billionaire thinks they can circumvent the political process and spend tens of millions of dollars to buy our elections. It’s just the latest example of a rigged political system that we are going to change when we’re in the White House. If you can’t build grassroots support for your candidacy, you have no business running for president. The American people are sick and tired of the power of billionaires, and I suspect they won’t react well to someone trying to buy an election.”
First off, Bernie is quite rich himself, but he isn’t spending 30 million on commercials.
And, to me, Bloomberg’s actions smack of trying to buy his way into the presidency and I’m not having it.
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Pete Buttigieg, Democratic presidential candidate, in his first commercials airing in South Carolina, speaking to both the black community and the religious community:
“In our White House, you won’t have to shake your head and ask yourself, ‘Whatever happened to ‘I was hungry and you fed me. I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” When I say we’ve got to unify the American people it doesn’t mean pretending that we’re all the same. It means unifying around issues from wages and family leave to gun violence and immigration. The hope of an American experience defined not by exclusion but by belonging.”
It’s a simple message, but still powerful.
We are not all the same, but most of us want the same things.
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Elton John, melting down in a profanity-laden rant at a pair of security guards at his show in Australia on Sunday after he saw them removing a woman from his show:
“Hey, you two security guards with the girl, f**k off. Let her up here immediately… come on, you c**ts. Morons, both of you, morons. You don’t treat girls like that. F**king piece of sh*t, you both are. Leave her alone, you turds!”
Elton just love a good rant, but I find it odd how he’s speaking up for women by calling two security guards “cunts”.
Equally odd, is that the security guards were hired by Elton John’s team and acting on their instructions.
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Joe Biden, former VP and presidential hopeful, in a heated exchange with a man who questioned Biden about his son and his age:
"You're a damn liar. Look, the reason I’m running is because I’ve been around a long time and I know more than most people know and I can get things done. That’s why I’m running. And you want to check my shape, man, let’s do push-ups together here, man, let’s run, let’s do whatever you want to do, let’s take an IQ test.”
Oh Joe, did Michelle teach you nothing about what to do when they go low?
Seriously? Pushups? IQ tests?
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Nancy Pelosi, to a reporter who asked if she hates _____:
“I don’t hate anybody. I was raised in a Catholic house and we don’t hate anybody. Not anybody in the world. [But] I think that the president is a coward when it comes to helping our kids who are afraid of gun violence. I think that he is cruel when he doesn’t deal with helping our DREAMers of which we are very proud. I think he is in denial about the climate crisis. However, that’s about the election. This is about the Constitution of the United States and the facts that lead to the president and his violation of the oath of office. And as a Catholic, I resent your using the word ‘hate’ in a sentence that addresses me. I don’t hate anyone. I was raised in a way that is a heart full of love and always prayed for the president. And I still pray for the president. I pray for the president all the time, so don’t mess with me when it comes to words like that.”
Simply put: don’t come for Nancy unless she sends for you.
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Friday, November 15, 2019
I Didn't say It ...
Michael Elizabeth Pence, bigot and homophobe, speaking at an event honoring National Adoption Month beaming about the _____ plan to roll back an Obama-era rule that barred taxpayer-funded adoption and foster care agencies from rejecting same-sex couples based on religious beliefs:
“Let me assure all of you that we understand the role that communities fo faith play in adoption … I couldn’t be more proud that at President _____’s direction and with the strong support of leaders across foster care, adoption, and our faith communities, we’ve taken decisive action. We’ve reversed the rule implemented in the closing days of the last administration that jeopardized the ability of faith-based providers to serve those in need by penalizing them for their deeply held religious beliefs. We will stand for the freedom of religion and we will stand with faith-based organizations to support adoption. We will stand for the freedom of religion, and we will stand with faith-based organizations to support adoption.”
Remember this one the next time you hear this deeply closeted and self-loathing homosexual tell you that he has no issue with the LGBTQ+ community .
Then tell him to Fuck off.
And tell Mother, too.
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Amy Klobuchar, presidential candidate who has no shot, says a woman with the same experience as Pete Buttigieg would not make it to the debate stage:
“Of the women on the stage—I’m focusing here on my fellow women senators, Senator Harris, Senator Warren and myself—do I think that we would be standing on that stage if we had the experience that he had? No, I don’t. Maybe we’re held to a different standard.”
Oh Amy, stop whining and finish out your run. You had a shot, Pete has a shot, but just because people seem to like him more isn’t some anti-female conspiracy. It has less to do with Pete’s gender, or sexual orientation, than it has to do with the fact that he is a decent man, a veteran, a man of faith, who has some great ideas for where to take this country. Oh, and it has to do with amount of money raised so you can be on that debate stage.
Look in a mirror; you aren’t presidential.
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Jeff Sessions, _____’s former Attorney General has launched a Senate bid in Alabama and started up by licking the hole of _____ in his first political ad:
“When I left President Trump’s cabinet, did I write a tell all book? No. Did I go on CNN and attack the President? Nope. Have I said a cross word about President Trump? Not one time. And I’ll tell you why: First, that would be dishonorable. I was there to serve his agenda, not mine. Second, the President is doing a great job for America and Alabama, and he has my strong support.”
Wait, is this the height of pathetic or what? I mean _____ fired Sessions, and called him the worst mistake in hiring he has ever made, and yet this little Keebler Elf is so desperate to be elected to office that he’ll gloss over that fact?
I’m embarrassed for him.
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Chris Hayes, MSNBC, on Jeff Sessions’ ad:
“Now, that is probably, I’m just guessing, not going to appease the president. NBC News reports it has been made clear to Sessions that _____ intends to campaign against him. According to the Washington Post, _____ has even joked to senators and White House aides that he would move to Alabama and compete against Sessions himself in the primary, which would be weird and, I guess, interesting. So now the question is, will the president go to war against perhaps the person most likely to carry the state for Republicans?”
We all know _____ holds a grudge and he’d put himself over the GOP any day, so I’d love to see him campaign against Sessions and Sessions beg to be loved.
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_____ Junior, has a new book out, and offers example of his entire family’s sense of delusion after a visit to Arlington National Cemetery the day before his father’s inauguration:
“I rarely get emotional, if ever. I guess you’d call me hyper-rational, stoic. Yet as we drove past the rows of white grave markers, in the gravity of the moment, I had a deep sense of the importance of the presidency and a love of our country … In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed—voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off of the office.' Frankly, it was a big sacrifice, costing us millions and millions of dollars annually … Of course, we didn’t get any credit whatsoever from the mainstream media, which now does not surprise me at all.”
Seriously? Visiting the graves of men and women who gave their lives fighting for this country, and he recalls how he and Daddy were picked on? And how much money they lost because Daddy stole an election?
There’s so much to say, but it all boils down to this …
Fuck off, little boy.
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Nikki Haley, former United Nations ambassador, in her new memoir, claiming that former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly tried to recruit her to subvert _____:
“Kelly and Tillerson confided in me that when they resisted the president, they weren’t being insubordinate, they were trying to save the country. It was their decisions, not the president’s, that were in the best interests of America, they said. The president didn’t know what he was doing.”
Let’s remember that in 2016 Haley, as governor of South Carolina, actively campaigned against _____, and even endorsed Marco Rubio for president.
Marco-effing-Rubio.
And then, when _____ came a’calling she took a job with him and became his lapdog. And she sat with Miss Lindsey—what is it with these South Carolina flip-flopping asshatted politicians and _____—drank the Kool-Aid.
Let’s also remember that rumor has it that, if he decides to run again, and doesn’t get impeached or go to jail, that _____ will dump Pence and replace him with Nikki.
That explains a lot.
She’s a typical lying pandering looking out only for herself asshat.
I’m done.
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Chris Wallace, Fox “News” anchor, on Day One of the impeachment hearings:
“William Taylor was a very impressive witness and was very damaging to the president. First of all … he took very copious notes at almost every conversation, I think very nonpolitical. He went out of his way to talk about what he knew, what he was specifically testament to. The only thing he talked about was a strong feeling that it was in the U.S. national security interests to support Ukraine in the fight against Russia. But he certainly wasn’t taking any partisan position.”
Uh oh, Chris, you better be careful lest _____ place a call to Hannity and “Judge” Jeanine and they try to beat you up in the parking lot for not toeing the line.
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Jim Jordan, GOP Congressman, who ALLEGEDLY covered up for a rapist at a university, and now covers for a rapist in the White House, ending his blathering rant about the fact that the Ukraine whistleblower wouldn’t be testifying at the impeachment hearings:
“There’s one witness, one witness that they won’t bring in front of us, they won’t bring in front of the American people, and that’s the guy who started it all, the whistleblower.”
I saw this bit, and poor Jim Jordan, of the thinning hair and whiny deliver, looked like the lapdog of a bully hoping to please his master.
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Peter Welch, Democratic Congressman, agreeing with Jordan about one witness hiding from the proceedings:
“I say to my colleague [Jim Jordan], I would be glad to have the person who started it all come in and testify. President _____ is welcome to take a seat right there.”
Snap!
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Friday, March 22, 2019
I Didn't Say It ...
Amy Klobuchar, Democratic Senator and 2020 presidential hopeful, on how _____’s rhetoric aids people like the Quebec and New Zealand mosque terrorists:
“I don’t think you can actually take each of these murderous acts and say what role Donald _____ has played, but I can tell you this: his rhetoric doesn’t help. And many of these people, whether it was the person who tried to bomb Barack Obama or this murderer in New Zealand, have cited Donald _____ along the way. That means to me, at the very least, he is dividing people. He, at the very least, should be giving strong statements, public speeches, defending Muslims in this world."
He’ll never say a nice word about Muslims because his base, those religious hypocrite so-called Evangelicals, would revolt.
So, they can all fuck off.
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Laura Ingraham, on _____’s threat of violence if people stand against him:
“Here’s actually what _____ said. He said, ‘I can tell you I have the support of the police, the support of the military, the support of the Bikers for _____, I have the tough people, but they don’t play it tough until they go to a certain point, and then it would be very, very bad.’ Why did the media try so hard to ascribe the most violent intention to the president, who is talking, obviously, kind of like a New Yorker there? What’s going on?”
She doesn’t think that when _____ says he has all these people on “his” side, people he suggests will do wahetver he asks, that it’s a threat?
Yes, Ingtaham is that ignorant.
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Beto O’Rourke, on the massacre in New Zealand and calling for a moratorium on sales of the AR-15:
“We allow people in this country to buy weapons that were designed, engineered, and sold to the United States military for the express purpose of killing people as effectively as possible in as great a number as possible. If you own AR-15, keep it. Continue to use it responsibly and safely. I just don’t think that we need to sell any more weapons of war into this public.”
Makes sense, but it’ll never happen in the United States of Guns no matter how many of us are murdered.
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Pete Hegseth, Fox News goose-stepper, responding to O’Rourke:
“Such easy, loose rhetoric of the left. They’ll say it — I’ll say it again, if I own an AR-15, stocks of gun companies probably will go up after things like this. Responsible gun owners recognize their right to own rifles like that. You can use “weapons of war” or “assault ban” all you want. This will appeal to his base, young people who are uninformed about the difference between an automatic and semi-automatic rifle. But, go out and get your second AR-15 today. Maybe it’s a good reason to do so.”
Yes, he wants more guns because we;’ve seen after years and years and years of mass shootings in this country that more guns is the answer.
Fuck off.
PS Keep in might that Hegseth is the same moron who says he hasn’t washed his hands in ten years because germs aren’t real since he can’t see them.
Yes, he did.
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Johnny Isakson, GOP Senator from Georgia, who vowed after John McCain died that he would deliver a “whipping” to anybody—including Trump—who impugned McCain’s good name. making good on his promise:
“I just want to lay it on the line, that the country deserves better, the McCain family deserves better, I don’t care if he’s president of United States, owns all the real estate in New York, or is building the greatest immigration system in the world. Nothing is more important than the integrity of the country and those who fought and risked their lives for all of us.”
Integrity would be taking your statement to the floor of the Senate and urging others in Congress to do the same.
But sure, say it in an interview. Coward.
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Stephen Colbert, mocking Devin Nunes” $250 million lawsuit against Twitter:
“Nunes is suing Twitter for allowing accounts to insult him … What? That’s what Twitter is! That’s all it does. Can you tell the sun not to shine? Can you tell the rivers not to flow? Can you tell @MAGAman5000 not to call me the king of the beta male soyboy cucks after I suggested that Frozen was in fact a delightful children’s movie?”
Seriously, he wants to sue Twitter because some Twitterers, well, a lot of Twitterers , make fun of him. And so Stephen Colbert, hoping to be part of the lawsuit, created a fake Twitter account—@DevinNunesSkin--and issued its first Tweet:
“Still thin.”
Funny, cuz it’s true.
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Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand Prime Minister, after the mass shooting in Christchurch and the terrorist:
“He sought many things from his act of terror, but one was notoriety, and that is why you will never hear me mention his name. He is a terrorist, he is a criminal, he is an extremist. But he will, when I speak, be nameless.”
Ardern opened her address to Parliament with a greeting in Arabic:
“As-salamu alaykum … Peace be upon you, and peace be upon all of us.”
Yes, please.
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