Random Musings

Carlos called to tell me he was moving a refrigerator at work and bemoaned the fact he was being treated like a hired hand.

i told him i would call his boss and ask her to change his name to Manuel Labor.

Get it? Manual Labor ... Manuel Labor?

Okay ... I'll stop.

For some reason ... I'll blame wine ... I DVR'd a Cameron Diaz movie, Sex Tape, the other day. And last Sunday afternoon, while it rained outside, I decided to watch it.

Five minutes in I couldn't stop thinking how much I dislike Cameron Diaz and how much she looks like Jack Nicholson's Joker with the make-up.

Then I clicked 'Erase' on the DVR and turned over to an SVU marathon.

According to anti-gay Pastor Rick Scarborough, members of Congress are "lining up" to sign a pledge saying they'll defy a U.S. Supreme Court ruling in favor of nationwide marriage equality:

“We’re taking a very adamant stand. If the court declares same-sex ‘marriage’ to be on the same par as a civil right, that’s a bridge too far. We won’t obey. We’ll go to jail.” 

Good, with many of the more conservative members of Congress doing jail time, maybe we'll actually see our government get something done.

Can someone please ask Kathy Griffin to stop the Why I Left Fashion Police Tour? I cared for about a nano-second and then I was over it but she's acting like it's Carson leaving the Tonight Show.

i love you Kathy, but take a seat already.

Glee finally came to an end last Friday night ... at least two years too late, if you ask me.

Ted Cruz shut down the government—costing taxpayers $24 billion—because he wanted to repeal Obamacare.

Ted Cruz said, in his speech announcing his soon-to-fail presidential bid, that he would dismantle Obamacare word by word.

Ted Cruz’ wife has quit her job to help with his campaign, and now has no healthcare so …

Ted Cruz added his wife to his policy … his Obamacare policy.

Hypocrite say what?

Y’all know I’m a huge fan of Justified because … Timothy Olyphant. But the other night I finally took a good look at Mike, played by Jonathan Kowalsky.

Yum. That is all.

[photo source]

Matt McLaughlin, California wacknut bigot and homophobe lawyer, proposed new legislation for the state: the "Sodomite Suppression Act." And since there are no legal remedies to stop the insanity of having this bill placed on the ballot, it looks like it may go forward.

Enter activist Charlotte Laws, who has filed to have her own piece of legislation considered: the “Intolerant Jackass Act,” AKA the exact opposite of McLaughlin’s proposal.

Would that I could vote in California ...

Can I please ask that anyone, anyone, who uses the phrase, "It is what it is," as an excuse to please stop it?

Right now.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Lindsay Lohan spent last week in New York, celebrating her birthday, and then rushed back to London to begin preparing for her stage debut in David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow.

Unfortunately, it seems she’s up to her old tricks. A source — and you know it’s Dina “All press is good press” Lohan — says Lindsay is off-the-wagon on on-the-party-bus again and is so out of control that she arrives late to rehearsals late, is unprepared to rehearse, or simply doesn’t show at all.

It’s like when she did Georgia Rule, with Jane Fonda, and the CEO of production publicly chastised her  for her unprofessional behavior; it’s like when The Canyons screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis called her “mixed up,” “scattered” and “bossy;” it’s like when she kept the film crew of her reality show docu-series waiting because she “was unavailable” to film. It’s typical Lohan.

On the other hand, an unnamed spokesperson for the production — and that could be Dina, too, after a box of Chardonnay — says that “rehearsals are not yet under way and casting still in progress.”

So, maybe she isn’t late? Or maybe she isn’t even actually cast in it yet?

Remember all the run-up to the pre-divorce ceremony of Kim Kardastrophe and The Madman? I mean it was everywhere; they were everywhere; and after the wedding, for a few scant days, they were everywhere else. Now? Not so much. But maybe it’s because Kim has figured out a way to make her third marriage last longer than the first two: never see your husband.

Since marrying in that trashy Italian wedding forty-eight days ago, the K’s have spent exactly nine days together, most of which occurred during the honeymoon-slash-Photoshop workshop.

A source — and you know it’s That Woman whoring out the gossip on her own children — says Kim and Kanye have started living separate lives ever since Kanye discovered that his porn-star-fame-whore-thrice-married bride only cares about herself, her show, her family, herself:

“Kanye now recognizes that Kim’s main interest are shopping and lounging around a pool. It’s really concerning to Kanye that Kim doesn’t even want to try to experience new things.”

Like threesomes; with her husband and, ALLEGEDLY, an Italian designer?

Oh Katherine Heigl, you do go on.

After she bolted Grey’s Anatomy for a film career that lasted all of a hot minute, she dragged her ass back to TV and a new drama, a Scandal-lite NBC show called State of Affairs. She is known to be, well, a bitch on TV sets and film sets, parking lots and grocery stores, and so that begs the question, what does she have to say for herself?

“I certainly don’t see myself as being difficult. I would never intend to be difficult. If I ever disappointed somebody, it was never intentional.”

Wow. Could that be more of an admission that she’s a raging bitch? I would never intend to be difficult. Okay, so it wasn’t a plan, it just was? That’s like the ultimate non-apology-apology; if you thought I was a controlling, backstabbing, talentless hack, well, that wasn’t my intention.

Sit down Katie.

After Jenny McCarthy was let go fired quit fired from The View she announced that she would be back on her own show, yakking the yak, uninterrupted and, possibly, airing opposite The View. I figured she’d be live Tweeting, but apparently she got a job on not-so-Sirius radio for a one hour a week — down from five hours of TV so it is a step down, y’all — called Dirty, Sexy, Funny; I’m guessing Stupid, Lame, and Soon-To-Be-Cancelled was already taken?

Here’s what Jenny lied to told Howard Stern about her career:

“If I wanted to stay with Rosie and I was a Republican, I would still be there right now [but] it’s like halfway into it, it was probably around February, I went, ‘God I’m not allowed to be the best of me here,’ I feel like to have a voice, to be able to speak without having to interrupt people…It’s very difficult, and I don’t like doing it, it’s very uncomfortable, so I felt like, ‘You know what? Maybe this is just a stepping stone for me to go somewhere where I can actually be my full self.’”

I think she means full of herself.

PS Jenny had a talk show on VH1 with much the same premise before she was hired by The View and that went by the wayside faster than you can say Jenny who?

Meanwhile, back at serious actress Lohan.

I guess rehearsals for Speed-the-Plow haven’t started because as soon as Lohan hit London, she was off again to a film festival in Ischia, Italy where her greatest accomplishment was getting drunk and taking a tumble.

The obvious question is why was Lindsay at a film festival? Her last film crashed and burned in a week at the box office and the big film she was signed onto at the end of her reality show docu-series never happened so why was she there?

Party. Party for the girl who’s been giving interviews all over England saying she wants to be taken seriously as an actress and not just some globe-trotting Tara Reid 2.0. I mean she keeps saying she moved to London because the paparazzi aren’t as in-your-face and she can act and work and be on-set, not some cracked out wacktress going to any film festival because someone gave her a free ticket for publicity.

But she did, and she partied and then she fell down and went boom. Like her career.

Brody Jenner is hot; smoking hot. I know, he might be kind of a douche, but I can overlook the douchiness for the hotness. He looks like a younger version of his father, Bruce Jenner, before age and Botox and ombre hair coloring and facelifts got in the way. I could just stare at him all day …

But I’m not here to talk about his beauty; I’m here to talk about his feud with the Kash Kow, Kim Kardastrophe-West. Y’all remember that he didn’t go to the pre-divorce ceremony in Italy because Kim wouldn’t let him bring his girlfriend, though she cleared space in an overhead compartment for NorthSouthEastWest, right?

But Brody is now saying he didn’t go because he was “busy” playing DJ in Chicago and couldn’t squeeze in his step-sister’s mockery of marriage because, well, there will be others. Still, please to explain how Brody beat feet, with his girlfriend, to attend the wedding of Kim’s ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush over the weekend?

Yup, he skipped the Kash Kow Fiasco but went to see her ex tie the knot. I’m guessing that won’t air on their “reality” show because it’s all too real.

God, I loathe Cameron Diaz. I find her kinda skanky, very annoying, lacking in talent, and just plain obnoxious. I also think — and maybe it’s just me — that the only reason she has a career is because she puts out … ALLEGEDLY. I have no other explanation for her film career.

And while she went to the premiere of her latest film, Sex Tape … yawn … she was apparently a giant bitch to the fans, er, fan who gathered along the red carpet to catch a whiff of her. In fact, both she and her Sex Tape co-star Jason Segel flopped with fans because they refused to sign autographs or even allow pictures to be taken. In fact, the only thing Cameron deigned to do was lecture a fan:

“When a 20-something fan asked Jason for a photo as he left the premiere he said, ‘No’ and literally slammed the car door right in the fan’s face. People gasped, that’s how bad it was. And when Cameron was spotted, she also refused the fans telling them, ‘If I did it for you I’d have to do it for everyone.”

Funny, she makes out there was a mob of people waiting for them after the film, when there was just a handful of fans on the sidewalk.

I’m kind of hoping that only a handful of fans will bother to see this film.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

I loved American Horror Story in all it's wack-a-doo-who's-alive-who's-dead-Jessica-Lange-scene-stealing-gory-glory. And I was happy to hear it would be returning, with a new story set in an entirely new local, with some actors from last season returning, albeit as new characters. Like Jessica Lange.
And now, Zachary Quinto. He'll be playing a new character next season, in a story set at an East Coast institution. He'll be one of two male leads and the nemesis to Lange’s character.

In addition to Lange and Quinto, three other actors from season one will be returning next year as well; executive producer/writer/creator Ryan Murphy will reveal their names soon.
Still, whomever comes back, and whatever new names are added, this is gonna be good. 




The Will-and-Jada Story won't die. Divorce. Cheating. Divorce. Will's gay.
Yup, Star Magazine--that bastion of intellectual journalism--is saying that Will Smith on the down-low? With actor Duane Martin, or so says Star.

A source--and by source, I mean Lohan, doing whatever it takes to keep her name out of the rags--says, “Will spends significantly more time with Duane than he does with Jada and the kids. And as time goes by, Jada is growing more upset about it.”
And it does seem to be that Will and Duane are inseparable. They’ve been spotted together wining and dining, going on a private cruise in Trinidad, at restaurants and art openings in Miami, and a trade show in Las Vegas--all in just the past four months.
Duane is married to Tisha Campbell-Martin and has two kids, and played the lead role in Will’s executive produced sitcom All of Us. He’s been rumored to be gay for years but has dismissed the allegations.
And yet.....Will's, er, relationship with Duane has caused a rift with his family; Will has ALLEGEDLY  moved into a lavish bachelor pad in Villanova, Pennsylvania.
“Will and Jada’s marriage is completely fractured, and it’s only getting worse as Will spends more time away with Duane,” says the 'source.' “I don’t know how much longer they can live this way. It’s only a matter of time until one of them makes the split official and files for divorce.”
And, if y'all recall, there was a National Enquirer story last year about Will’s ALLEGED “bromance” with Trey Songz--who is halfway out of the closet. While that, er, relationship, seemed more like acquaintances, Will and Duane are spending an awful lot of time together, vacationing, and, er, such.
Just sayin'.


Lindsay Lohan has a new man, but even he doesn't want her; except in front of the camera.

Noted photographer Terry Richardson shot Lohan--wouldn't it be fun to just leave that there?--for Love Magazine, but the two were spotted hanging out at the Chateau Marmont where Lohan is shacked up. And now tongues are wagging that Lohan enjoyed a steamy night of STDS with Richardson and she’s eager for a relationship. The 46-year-old skeezy photog, however, not so much.
A source--and by source, we all know it's Dina Lohan--says, “Lindsay and Terry have been friends for years. And she’s always had a thing for him. Lindsay thinks he’s really cool and hip and could be great for her career....But Terry is just not interested in pursuing a relationship with Lindsay and totally regrets hooking up...[She] has been texting and phoning him nonstop and he’s actually kind of freaked out by how strong she’s been coming on to him; it’s all pretty unseemly. As Terry said, there’s nothing more unattractive than a desperate woman.”
Even a desperate cracktress trying to revive a dead career?


In the interests of fairness, I do not like Rachael Ray. She reminds me of an out-of-control bulldog. That's all.
But, apparently, Ray’s show was moving into Martha Stewart’s old studios, now that Stewart's show has been cancelled. And Martha is not at all happy about that.

In fact, the two cooking divas, well, the one cooking diva and the one cooking bulldog ended up at Il Buco Alimentaria & Vineria restaurant at the same time, and Martha’s bitch stare made Rachael so uncomfortable she left without eating her kibble. 
I am so Team Martha.
Witnesses said Stewart was “noticeably glaring in Ray’s direction throughout her meal,” and that Ray, who was dining with Time magazine food writer Josh Ozersky, became visibly uncomfortable--so much so that, after having her appetizer, she left with her main course in a doggie bag.
Doggie bag. Bulldog. That's all. 


Oh, Cameron, you're getting old. Deal with it. You can still date pre-pubescent boys and pretend you're young and hip; that's what Botox and surgery is for.
See, in the past, Diaz has always sounded kinda Zen about aging, sounding content with her life, comfortable in her own perpetual sun-kissed, bordering on leathery, easy-going California Girl skin.

So, what happened? Some say it was Alex Rodriguez. While with him, Cameron ALLEGEDLY bulked up like a steroid monster and got new boobies; and her face.....well, it suddenly went from California Girl to Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum.
Others say Hollywood is to blame. See, oddly enough, and sadly enough, at one time Diaz was one of the highest-paid woman in show biz, but now she's being told that she's too, gulp, old to play the Girl in movies. And she ain't having it.
An insider--and I think it's Lohan, because, let's face it, she needs the work--says that even though Diaz will be turning 40 in August, she wants to stay younger on screen: “She won’t read scripts if the character is 40. Her team asks that the age be changed in the script for Cameron to read for the part.”
Now, that may work for a while, but with her newly leathered, waxen face, how long will she be able to hold out for the thirty-year-old pretty girl, yet look like Ruth Gordon?


What can I say, Goldie Hawn loves to party.

She was in London recently, at the launch party for the Hawn Foundation--a non-profit for teachers and parents aimed at helping children achieve--with daughter Kate Hudson, and Kate’s boyfriend Matt Bellamy, and, well, Goldie had herself a good time!
It was after 4am when Goldie finally left the party and she looked, as we say in Smallville, like she'd been rode hard and put away wet.
In fact, Goldie was ALLEGEDLY so lubricated with champagne, that as she left the event in the early morning hours, being helped out, she got into her car butt-first and toppled over, as the Brits say, ass over tits.
I mean, if there was ever a campaign for not drinking, Goldie Before and After could be the poster child. 
The sixty-something star looked decades younger as she was getting the party started and then decades older as the party ended.
Girl knows how to have fun, I guess.


When you gain a few pounds, the last thing you want is for someone to mention it. And when you wanna be known as the Healthy Chef, and you wanna have a TV program that teaches kids how to eat healthy, well, then, being called fat is a double insult.

Celebrity Chef, Jamie Oliver, was  in Australia last week and people noticed that he looked kinda jowly and like he'd put on a few pounds--in his face. So when a female reporter asked about it, well, Jamie, visibly bristled, and said: "I don't know. I am very healthy. Are you from a tabloid? Thank you for noticing, you bitch."
Ouch. Now, he may have been joking, though no one seems to know. He did admit that he'd been watching his weight, and tried to work out twice a week, but, well, maybe there was room for improvement.
Though no more room in his jeans. I kid.
He said: "I do my best. Working in the food business is quite hard when someone is constantly asking you to try things...I could definitely do better, but I am trying to do my best like most people when they hit 30."
His U.S. spokeswoman Kimberly Yorio insisted her client’s weight remained the same and that it was the photos that added the poundage. 
Well, that shirt does scream heavy to me.


Oh Lindsay. You were doing so good. Well, excepot for that whole wack-a-doo SNL experience. And now this......

It seems that La Lohan ALLEGEDLY struck a bystander with her new Porsche while leaving the Sayers Club the other night. And then, as cracktresses do, she fled the scene. You know, because the laws don't apply to Lindsay!
Apparently, as she was driving out of the parking lot, she was blocked by paparazzi, and regular people, in front of the nearby Hookah Lounge. Lindsay's Porsche made contact with the manager of the Hookah Lounge, and then she left.
The police responded and interviewed people at Hookah--including the manager, who was lightly struck--and then left. Word has it that Lindsay is the one who called the police from her car because, you know, she didn't want to be bothered looking all drunk and shiz coming out of the club, and because the rules don't apply to her.
The twist is, or was, that people at the scene say the manager didn't suffer any injuries, and so Lohan didn't violate any laws that don't apply to her anyway, but.....
Now sources are saying the manager was injured and that he is going to press charges and hire a lawyer. Police reports say the Hookah manager was standing by his car when  66-year-old Lohan--I kid, she's no Debbie Harry [see HERE]--was attempting a 3-point turn and scraped his knee and his car. He apparently didn't know it was Lohan so it was no big deal; then he discovered who was driving and suddenly he's all hurt and stuff.
Police say they will open a hit-and-run investigation if the manager files a report. This could be bad news for probation-prone Lohan.
Or, really, it's just another day.

Musings

What a weekend! We looked at toilets. I know! Fun, right?

But we want to redo the guest bathroom so we headed to Lowe's and looked at Dual Flush Toilets--one button for Number 1, one button for Number 2. Ain't science grand! We also found a lovely pedestal sink so we can dismantle, and perhaps burn, the hideous vanity that's taking up too much space in an already small space.

We also checked out tile, and this is where the disagreements start. I saw some lovely muted beige and grey tumbled stone tines, that would look lovely with a band of glass tiles around the edge. Carlos saw some, well, for lack of a better word, horrifying blue tiles. Horrifying. It looked like it used to be in Hef's Grotto at the Mansion, if you get my meaning. But, I think I was able to dissuade him from that particular choice.

We spotted some new lamps for the exterior of the house, sort of Asian/Frank Lloyd Wright inspired, and very cheap--and by very cheap, I mean one margarita cheap. Which is good since we'll need four of them. Carlos pointed out a floor lamp he liked, while I wondered why anyone, who isn't living in a 1950s TV show, would want a floor lamp. i just don't get floor lamps.

We looked at tubs and showers and mirrors and fixtures and closet organizers, and then made out way to the exit where we remembered that we'd forgotten to pick up some Polycrylic for the dining room.

When we bought Casa Smallville, the dining room was flesh colored, and since I'm not Hannibal Lector, eating in a flesh colored room was not appealing. So, I tackled that room, opting to stay as far away from the traditional red--it seems nearly everyone in Smallville has a red dining room--as I could.

I picked a very beautiful light blue, and purchased it in matte and satin finishes. I painted the entire room in the matte, and then taped off sections and painted vertical stripes all around the room in the satin finish.

It was beautiful.

And then we ate dinner in there and I couldn't help but think there should have been a  crib and a changing table in it. it was that color blue. So, in a flash, the blue was gone, replaced by forest green, which I love, but I still missed the stripes. Which is where the aforementioned Polycrylic, in a satin finish, comes in. It will add the much needed stripe-age to the room.

Then we returned home, where Carlos used his Christmas gift, a molcajete--mortar and pestle--of lava rock, to make a delicious ancho chile, tomato and garlic salsa for some grilled pork. I didn't know how much more inventive he'd be on his nights to cook with a molcajete because, had I known, I would have gifted him a molcajete ten years ago!

Plus, I do so love saying molcajete! 

After dinner, we watched The Social Network On-Demand, and I was pleasantly surprised how much more I liked it than I thought I would. When it came out, I thought, A movie about Facebook? No. But it was really good, with really good performances, and a dual performance by my new man crush six-foot-five-inch hunk Armie Hammer. He played twins, so it was double My Pleasure, Double My Fun.

Then something called the Superbowl was on, and I flicked back-and-forth between a Law & Order: SVU marathon and the game, hoping to just hit the commercials. I wasn't so successful.

I missed Christina Aguilera's rendition of the National Anthem, so I missed her bungling of the words. i always thought they sang to a track, so things like this wouldn't happen? I mean, how embarrassing. I also missed Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod. I mean, how embarrassing.

I also missed Bill O'Reilly's "interview" with the President. Who set that up? And why do an interview with an illiterate raging ape instead of an actual news anchor? If that's the case, the White House could have sent Obama down to Smallville to talk with one of the guys who lives under the bridge. It would have been just as interesting. And where does O'Reilly get off asking Obama what he thinks of the "people that hate" him? When Obama said something about the people that "don't like me," O'Reilly piped up,. "No, they hate you." How fucking unprofessional. He really needs his own room in Douchebag Hell.

Thanks to
John abuzz
for the photo

And, so, finally, speaking of Douchebags.....Ronald Reagan, the GOP's Great White Hope. The one they all aspire to emulate. He turned 100. Whoop-de-freaking-do. The problems of today, with debt, and the rich getting richer, are directly tied to Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan who never said a word about AIDS until it was fiver years too late, and then did little about it.

St Ronald? Gimme a break.

I think he'd be a Number Two flush.

And, so, how was your weekend?

I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Usually when people win something, a cameraman stops them and asks how they're going to celebrate the big win, and they say something about going to Disneyworld.

Well, 'Survivor: Nicaragua' winner Judson Birza, who was dubbed Fabio for his hair and, perhaps his lack of smarts, should have taken that advice. See, rather than riding the Matterhorn in celebration, Birza went skateboarding in the streets of Santa Monica, which is illegal.

Bad enough, but then he was discovered to be in possession of a, ahem, controlled substance, and I'm fairly certain it wasn't an E-ticket--I'm showing my age there, show of hands of those who remember the E-tickets at Disneyland?
But then, in addition to being busted for being too old to be illegally skateboarding in Santa Monica, and for possessing some, um, narcotic, or some such, he was also nailed for an unrelated DUI warrant and a probation violation.
When it rains, it pours, and not just in Nicaragua.
Birza was being held on $37,000 bail.
Lucky for him he just won a million bucks, something tells me he's gonna need it.

You don't mess with Howard Stern, because he ain't playin'.

Shock jock, which, for me, has a very different meaning than someone who works in radio, Howard Stern is accusing late-night talk show host, and whiner, and hack, Jay Leno of ripping off his material. Stern took his accusations to Piers Morgan's CNN show, and announced, "Jay is insane. And Jay is a crook. And the world knows exactly what he's up to. He steals a tremendous amount of material."
Big surprise, he stole Conan's job.
And this isn't the first time Stern has gone after Leno; in fact, Stern says, "Just the mere mention of Jay Leno's name makes me to want to vomit," calling the 'Tonight Show' host, "a f**king con man, rip-off artist, no idea motherf**ker*."
Hmmm, Howard? How do you really feel?
In 2009, Stern also accused Leno of stealing one of his sketch ideas outright. It seems that both hosts invited a chicken--and yes, i mean an actual bird--on their shows to predict football wins for the following week. Stern was less than pleased, saying, "This must be a giant 'Punk'd' on me. This guy's ripped off like ten major things from my show. But the chicken thing we did for years."
And if you know Howard, like I know Howard, he isn't going to let this go; it's good for ratings to keep us this feud, but he is even more annoyed that anyone actually watches Leno: "I don't know how he's beaten David Letterman in the ratings. It's beyond my comprehension. America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed -- the ones who are watching him, they must be in a coma."
Or dead.
Just sayin'.


Wow, an unplanned, unscheduled trainwreck is one thing, but to bring it back and try to recreate it's trainwreckedness--i know, not  a word--is another.

LOGO is bringing back that awful, so awful I watch every week to see how really awful it is, not-quite-so-real reality show, The A List.
Apparently the hijinks, and the lowjinks, will return in the fall of 2011 because it ranks as second most-watched series in Logo's history.
What? I thought it was the Buffy reruns....or the QAF reruns....or the Noah's Arc reruns.....or the....well, you get the idea.
There will be eleven new, 1-hour episodes picking up right where last season's crazy left off. We'll be subjected once again to Reichen and Rodiney's "relationship," Austin's attempts to stir the pot and drink himself more stupid than ever, and Ryan and his husband's struggle to adopt a child.
Wow. Color me scared.
But color me there.
I do love a trainwreck where no one actually gets hurt.

Oh Christina.
What up girrrrrl?

According to sources--and by sources I mean the team that stuffs Christina into her wardrobe--the songbird, and recent Golden Globe nominee, over-imbibed a little 'The Hurt Locker' star Jeremy Renner's 40th birthday party and gave him a rather, um, unwelcome surprise.
After the party, which was supposedly a celeb-fest, Renner went upstairs to his bedroom and he found the 'Burlesque' star sleeping it off in his bed.
According to another source--and by source, I mean the team that keeps the press filled with stories of Renner's ALLEGED non-gayness--Renner turned the Golden Globes into a Christina storytelling marathon, telling his tablemates: "I run up and open the door and I'm like, 'Um, hi. What are you doing?' She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone's birthday party that they don't know and gets in their bed? My parents were there!"
Uh oh, a high celeb party with mommy and daddy?
Another source--and by source, I mean bartender--said Christina "acted like a fool. Her boyfriend was shushing her and telling her to go to sleep."
Renner's rep says of the incident, "[Christina] was enjoying herself, but she wasn't in his bed."
Oh, so she slept it off on the bathroom floor like I used to do?


Julie Newmar was the first.
Michelle Pfieffer was next.
Halle Berry was the worst.

Now, in the new Batman movie, Anne Hathaway is set to don the claws as the new Catwoman, and I'm thinking this is purrfect.
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Batman: The Dark Knight Rises director, Christopher Nolan, announced that Hathaway will join Tom Hardy and Christian Bale in his latest 'Batman' film: "I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story."

Tom Hardy, hunk-a-licious Tom Hardy, who also appeared in Nolan's last film, Inception, will play Batman's nemesis Bane, but Anne Hathaway was always on Nolan's shortlist of actresses--which included Jessica Biel [seriously?] and Keira Knightley--as Catwoman.

While we have seen our Catwoman's in several Batman films, this is only the second time Bane will appear in the franchise. The character was last seen as Poison Ivy's muscleman in Batman & Robin in 1997.
Hmm, Anne Hathaway? I'm there.
Christian Bale and Tom Hardy? I'm there and happy as a lark.

Elton John and David Furnish seemingly have everything.
Luxury. Each other. A fabulous life. And a new baby boy.

But, still, Elton is unfulfilled. but he doesn't long for more jewel-encrusted glasses or wackaddoodle suits. What Elton wants, more than anything, is for gay couples to have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts.
At a recent fundraiser to overturn Proposition 8, new Daddy Elton had some choice words for those who oppose gay marriage: "I think I have it all. I have a wonderful career, a wonderful life. I have my health, I have a partner of 17 years, and now I have a son. I don't have everything because I don't have the respect of people like the church or like politicians who tell me that I'm not worthy, that I'm lesser because I'm gay, well f**k you!"
Elton then proceeded to put his money where his mouth is, and performed for the crowd, helping to raise more than $3 million dollars to fight hate, but he was still angry, and voiced his fury over the disparity between his rights and those of other parents.
"Here I am sitting with a wedding ring and I'm with my partner and we have a son, but we couldn't get married. We have a right to be recognized as a human being. We have to fight the good fight. And we will win."
Amen, Elton.


And, speaking of gay couples, though a couple not as happy as Elton and David, Melissa Etheridge revealed that she is dating Linda Wallem, the creator of Nurse Jackie, and Melissa's ex-girlfriend Tammy Lynn Michaels is none too happy about it.
Someone needs to build a bridge. 

While Etheridge and Wallem have been best friends for years--Wallem even served as "Best Man" at Michaels and Etheridge's wedding in 2003--they did not become a couple until a few months after Etheridge and Michaels split, appearing in public for the first time last August.
That's right. Melissa and Tammy Lynn split up almost a year ago, and Melissa began dating Linda over the summer, but Tammy Lynn is not happy, and not silent, about it.
Tammy Lynn has a blog, and writes what many consider to be long, rambling 'poems' where she rips into Etheridge's new relationship, and even accused Etheridge of cheating on her during their marriage--which ended officially in April 2010.

In one such poem, Tammy Lynn says, "i moved out November 23rd 2009 / she said it would help / i was convinced it would / too and i trusted there was / no one else / i didn't know / there was someone moving in / as i was moving out."

She continues, "three weeks later a box of new toys / was delivered and her assistant brought / it to my rental house as a mistake / i opened it / and that's when i felt something was up / i called her / "i have your new d***s on my kitchen counter?"

Michaels also says that she didn't realize their split was final until she listened to Etheridge's new album, "I understood / oh / you don't want to work it out / oh you already have someone in the wings / oh you already have pined for another / oh you are done here."

She also goes on to attack the reported relationship in PEOPLE, "since april of 09? Mmm / one of my little sweet peas told me otherwise much / earlier than that, Pooper magazine / they should have shut the bedroom door."

Etheridge's response to her ex's poem?

"I do not comment on haikus."

Ouch.

Oh, Cameron, you say the most shocking things.

Now she's telling the story of her days as a bad-assed girl living in "the LBC"--Long Beach California.

And she talks of her high school daze, where she distinctly remembers one student, Snoop Dogg: "He was very tall and skinny, wore lots of ponytails on his head. And I'm pretty sure I bought weed from him -- I had to have."

Cameron Diaz? Buying weed?

In high school?

Yeah, I think what she actually means is that she bought weed from Snoop just the other day, behind a Starbucks on La Cienega.

Well, well, Mel.

Looks like prosecutors are ready to file criminal charges against Mel Gibson.

Anti-Semite, homophobe, misogynist, religious wingnut.

Gibson's lawyer, Blair Berk, ALLEGEDLY met with LA Deputy District Attorney John Lynch for nearly two hours, reportedly attempting to convince authorities not to prosecute Gibson. i imagine there was some begging, the offer of free tickets to Gibson movies for life, and the presentation of a boxed set of Mel Gibson's best work; and by best work, I mean his vicious telephone rants and the tapes of him talking to sugar tits the first time he was arrested.
Quite the package.

Still, the pleadings seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, and sources--and by sources I mean everyone Gibson has ever said anything racist or bigoted about--say Melvin will almost definitely be charged. The charges stem from Gibson hitting ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, mother of his 14-month-old daughter, Lucia, and he will be charged with either a misdemeanor or a felony.

Oh, let's do the world a service and make it a felony? Gibson could face up to four years in prison; a misdemeanor could land him up to a year.I like the idea of four Mel-free years.

Melvin, however, will not go quietly. His team has subpoenaed Grigorieva's ex-bodyguard, Kristian Herzog, who was present at nearly all of Grigorieva's meetings with her lawyers, only he isn't bound by attorney-client privilege.

Still, the District Attorney has a very strong case, there is a lot of information that the public and Mel Gibson are unaware that the DA has, such as Gibson's own court testimony about the alleged abuse: "I slapped Oksana one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. I did not slap her hard, I was just trying to shock her so that she would stop screaming, continuing shaking Lucia back and forth."

Gibson maintains he never hit Grigorieva with a closed fist. "I did not ever punch her in the face or in the temple or anywhere else, not then or at any other time."

He just slapped her while she was holding a baby.

Felony!