Tuesday Thought #2

Jerry, Becki and the Pool Boy

What a week for poor hate-filled, homophobic, holier-than-thou, _____-loving Jerry Falwell Jr, huh? I mean, first he takes a leave of absence from Liberty University after photos and videos show him partying on a luxury yacht with men and women in various states of undress, and now this …

The wife is schtupping the pool boy! A story that’s been floating around for over a year now that both Mister and Missus Falwell have foot-stomped, whined about, and lied about.

But, honey, it’s true. But Jerry’s taking the high road by throwing his wife under the bus and claiming that his recent ‘bad boy’ behavior is because he’s been depressed since learning that Becki—with the bad hair—has been riding Giancarlo Granda’s, um, pool skimmer.

Oh, and Jerry’s also vexed because Granda ALLEGEDLY tried to extort them by telling the truth, which is … Granda was, in fact, fucking Missus Falwell, many, many times over the course of some seven ears and Jerry was either in the room, or watching on closed-circuit TV from another room, sitting in his Speedos and stroking his Mini-Me while watching another many fuck his wife, and maybe joined in. Odd behavior for a man who condemns adulterers who aren’t _____ and condemns homosexuality.

Faux-Christian-hypocrite, say what? And it gets uglier—I may need a Silkwood scrub-down after this—because Jerry Falwell might receive a $10 million payout for leaving Liberty University, which means that if your wife gets diddled by the pool boy, and you sit and watch, and perhaps there are other many diddling the missus, you get ten million. Funny, though, that is you are a student of Liberty University and you break their Morality Cde you are instantly expelled, but if you’re the president and like to watch your wife getting her pool drain cleaned, you get to leave with a sack filled with cash.

And you can buy a lot of pool boys for that many coins.

And lastly, the lovely Becki, who has been boned by the pool boy many times each year for over seven years—and I’m sure there are others—is coming out to tell her side … calling the relationship embarrassing and humbling and saying:

“I wish Christians, and people, would be as forgiving as Christ was.”

I wish people wouldn’t profess to being devout followers of Christ when they’re fucking the pool boy, allowing their husband to watch, and then crying about their shame when they get caught.

You fucked the pool boy, Becki. You knew what you were doing; your husband knew what you were doing. And now he's collecting ten million bucks; the pimp always gets paid, while the prostitue gets bupkis.

So, fuck off with the faux-Christian bull shiz.

Bobservations

So, as I mentioned earlier, we got iPhones and have joined many of you in the 21^st century. Carlos uses his quite a bit, for work, for calling Mexico; I use mine slightly more than I used my old phone.

Still … Carlos. When we were buying them, we told the salesperson about his vision issues and so on and she showed him things he can do, and use, on the phone to make things easier. She spent a great deal of time with Carlos, and me, and was very kind and funny, so I went on Google reviews and gave her a glowing report.

Then Carlos, deciding he doesn’t need to take things slow, even on a new phone that he doesn’t entirely know how to use, deleted several icons from the screen because he wanted to streamline the screen. But, he deleted the icon used to get on the internet and so back to the store we went. There were a few people ahead of us in line, so we stood and waited; the woman who helped us buying the phones, was at the counter and waved and said Hello, and I said:

“He’s already messed up his phone.”

She replied:

“Oh, nooooo.”

But then she fixed it and told him not to do that again. All was well until …

Carlos was reading an email and it was small and hard for him; so, I took the phone and enlarged the image so he could see it, but with it enlarged, he had to scroll back and forth,. So, I took the phone again and turned it sideways and the email flipped sideways and was easier to read. Carlos started at it in amazement and said:

“Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

My little man is growing up,

Tuxedo was especially glad to hear Biden’s news this week and is glad we might have a literate president for the first time in four years.

Speaking of Biden, and his selection of Kamala Harris as his running mate, did you know that in 2011 and again in 2013, _____ donated a total of $6,000 to Harris’ campaign for California attorney general. Ivanka, also gave Harris $2,000 in 2014.

Huh, a couple of years before running for office as a Republican these two hypocrites were supporting Democrats?

Shocking!

Well, he showed us that he can say five words … Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV … but he cannot pronounce the name of a National Park in California. He called it:

“Yo, Semite.”

And then he called an entire nation:

“Thighland.”

Clearly he wasn’t thinking of a country but of one of his Russian hookers.

And the hits keep coming … after being called a racist because he went to celebrate the birth of a Klansman rather than pay his respects to John Lewis …and after he was forced to resign as pastor of his church for going to KlanKon, this week an arrest warrant was issued for GOP Alabama State Representative. Will Dismukes.

Dismukes is charged with first-degree theft of property from place of employment between the years 2016 to 2018. The charge is a Class B felony and levied when a person steals in excess of $2,500.

Sorry, not sorry, Will.

Liberty University’s Board of Trustees have asked the school’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr., to take an “indefinite [and extended] leave of absence” from his roles at the university, which include serving as president and chancellor. This comes days after Falwell Jr. posted, then deleted a photo of himself and a woman both in unzipped pants.

Bye Jerry, you religious hypocrite.

On the Good News side … after working nearly non-stop on this country’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, everyday Dr. Anthony Fauci and his wife power-walk through their neighborhood.

And I imagine his sprits pick up while he walks because dozens of his neighbors have taken to posting signs in their yards that read:

“Thank you, Dr. Fauci.”

Yes, indeed, Thank you, Dr. Fauci.

I’ll apologize first for my childish need to go low but … this week it was announced that Chris Christie will be helping _____ with his debate prep.

What? Is there a doughnut eating section?

Again, I apologize.

And finally, Jay Gould, a little bit of a palate cleanser this week. What is it that I like about him … The sexy face; the baby blues; his fashion game and his underwear game. I like that he travels light; just the one back on the clothes on his …ass. His love for showering in leather, latex and sunglasses.

The fact that he looks good wet.

And finally, the idea that a little bit of Jack Daniels gets him out of his clothes, and that he needs the big bottle of Jack to hide his junk.

That’s all.

I Didn't Say It ...

Jerry Falwell Jr., Liberty University President, rightwingnut, and pervy conservative, apologizing posting a photo of him in unzipped pants and arm around a woman:

“She’s pregnant so she couldn’t get her—she couldn’t get her pants up. And I was like, trying to like—my—I had on pair of jeans that I hadn’t worn in a long time so I couldn’t get mine zipped either. And so—and so—I just put my belly—I just put my belly out like hers…. I’ve apologized to everybody and I’ve promised my kids I’m going to try to be—I’m gonna try to be a good boy from here on out.”

Funny, this pervert’s been married for 33 years and he doesn’t apologize to his wife? Is she used to this from him?

And how many grown-assed men would take a photo like that? A lot, I bet, but not a  lot who are president of a Christian university with strict rules about such things.

Hypocrite, Pervert.

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Keisha Lance Bottoms, Atlanta’s mayor, on her disgust with _____’s allegations that he’s done more for Black Americans than John Lewis:

“He’s delusional. He’s a narcissist and he is delusional. The only person that believes that is him. He’s done nothing for African Americans in this country, and to speak that in the same sentence as speaking of John Lewis is almost blasphemous … If this man is allowed to serve as president for another four years we will be in even more trouble than we are in now. It’s important that people register to vote, that they show up to vote. … He is destroying our democracy in real time. We have to respond in the best way that we know how, the way that John Lewis taught us to respond. That is to show up and vote because what he reminded us – if we don’t exercise the right to vote we will lose it.”

Cast a goddamned vote!

Do it for John Lewis.

Do it for America.

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Dr. Deborah Birx, White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator, on who is responsible for America doing such a poor job handling the virus:

“As I traveled around the country, I saw all of America moving and I think it’s our job as public health officials to be able to get a message to each American that says if you’ve chosen to go on vacation into a hot spot, you really need to come back and protect those with co-morbidities and assume you’re infected. We have been trying to get out the clarion call about the asymptomatic spread, which I think still Americans and public health officials — it’s hard to get their hands around that, because the number of people who are spreading virus without symptoms, by the time you wait for someone to come forward to the emergency room, you have widespread community spread.”

Hey Deb, you ass-kissing lump of lunacy. The president you serve stood right next to you on many days and told people to go out and get the economy started again. He admonished people for staying home; he admonished people who wore masks; he suggested drinking bleach or shining lights up our asses.

And you just stood there, you complicit, lying,_____ loving bitch.

Take a seat.

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Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, clarifying her remarks that she has no confidence in Dr. Deborah Birx, Coronavirus Response Coordinator for the White House Coronavirus Task Force:

“What happened is we had a conversation about how we stop the virus, and when we did, they were making contentions about how tracing isn’t a valuable thing, we shouldn’t do it, and I said ‘Well that’s not what most scientists say.’ And they said ‘well we’ll bring a scientist to say that,’ and I said ‘Make sure it’s not Dr. Birx because I don’t have confidence in anyone who stands there while the president says swallow Lysol and it’s going to cure your virus.' It’ll kill you and you won’t have the virus anymore. I don’t have confidence in somebody when the president says ‘it’s a hoax, magic, it’s going to go away by magic, a miracle,’ and all those things. No. I don’t have confidence. I think that she has enabled [_____’s lies], but it’s not about her. It’s about the American people and how this administration has not had a strategic plan. …. If the president is saying these things, then who’s advising him that this is okay and enabling that to happen?”

Once again, Nancy summed it up nicely.

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Jeanine Pirro, Fox News host and _____ lapdog, pushing her mask hoax:

“Joe Biden is afraid of him. He’ll use a pandemic—I think it’s hysterical when he and his wife come out together and they’re wearing their masks. They’ve been housed together since the pandemic started and they’re wearing masks together when they come out. What is the point of the mask? The point of the mask is to basically kind of dehumanize, it’s to frighten people. You don’t know who’s behind the mask. It’s to give people cover, it’s exactly what the anarchists and the protesters need. It strikes fear, there is something going on. There are all kinds of subliminal messages to that mask. And he’s always in that black mask.”

Wow, Jeanine must’a broke out the brown juice because she is all kinds of crazy.

Um, asshat? The Bidens wear the mask because they are interacting with other people and the mask protects others from them in case they are asymptomatic.

Um, moron? So, Joe Biden in a black mask is frightening people but an inept incompetent narcissistic asswipe who watched 155,000+ people die is just fine with you?

Um, drunkard? We all know you don’t wear a mask because it inhibits your booze intake.

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Bobservations

I have often said that when I have a cold or flu and take NyQuil, I have NyQuil dreams; vivid, bizarre make no sense dreams. Now, it’s been a loooong while since I’ve taken NyQuil but the other night I couldn’t sleep, and so the next night I fixed myself a cup of Green Tea with Agave to settle me down for a good night’s sleep.

Didn’t work. I woke up every twenty minutes or so and I had a dream that was all kinds of bizarre and seemed to stop when I awoke and resume when I dozed; it went like this …

I was a Congressman—I know, nightmare, right?—and I was looking to get out of office, mainly because there was snow on the Capitol roof and apparently it was my job to shovel it off, So, I figured I’d get a new job and began walking … into what looked like a State Fair, I saw my friend, Dillon, and told him I was looking for work, and he said he worked for a women who owned a farm, I said, “Do I look like a fucking farmer?”

But Dillon took me to meet his boss underneath a freeway, who told me she also owned a Mexican food truck. I said I could do that work, but she only needed someone to make Nacho cheese sauce; I said I could do so much more than that, and then my friend Mark, who is an amazing chef who owns Mägo in Oakland suddenly appears and said he wanted to make Nacho cheese sauce and so he got my job.

Someone mentioned a job fair and I began walking and walking and then found a huge group of people in line. One of the people was Carol Burnett, dressed as Miss Hannigan from Annie, with a gaggle of imps and orphans following her. I thought nothing of it. I also thought nothing of the two Lesbians walking in front of me who told me you had to be in costume at the job fair, and they had an extra Handmaid’s Tale look if I wanted; I politely refused and headed toward the men’s room, looking for a costume.

But all they had were white suits and :::gasp::: black shoes. And so, since I was desperate to get out of Congress and not have to clean snow off the Capitol, I began looking through the suits for my size. Trouble was, they were all David Byrne suits … 185-inch chest, 90 in the arms. Nothing my size, though everyone else seemed to find a suit.

I slipped into a changing room and tried on the smallest giant suit and was swimming in it, but still decided to go out …

I opened the door …

Donald _____...

I woke with a start and never went back to sleep again.

Tuxedo feels about the Occupant of the White House the same as his two Dads although he's slightly less profane 

…

Alabama state Congressman, Will Dismukes, who went to a Klan party rather than pay his respects to John Lewis, has stepped down as pastor of a Baptist church after the controversy.

God saw you, Will, and she was not happy.

Today in Stoopid … in 1985, _____ announced he’d struck oil on a vacant lot he owned on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, saying:

”Isn’t it amazing? It’s a classic major oil find in Manhattan.”

Not so fast, con man. What he found was actually spilled and leaked leftover oil because the property was once used to be a rail yard.  But still, _____ claimed he was already getting calls from Texan oil barons about his huge find.

“We could be pumping here for years.”

Or … take that dead muskrat off your head and soak up the leftovers. Ass.

Rightwingnut, Faux-Christian and Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. posted—and then deleted—a bizarre Instagram post in which he appeared with his shirt hiked up and his pants unzipped, standing next to a woman identified as a “friend.”

No wonder he supports _____. Birds of a feather …

Last week David Nagy of Jefferson Texas died from COVID 19. His wife, Stacey, gave his obituary to the local paper, naming surviving family members and … about halfway down, they sent a message to both _____ and Texas GOP Governor Greg Abbott:

“Family members believe David’s death was needless. They blame his death and the deaths of all the other innocent people, on _____, Abbott and all the politicians who did not take this pandemic seriously and were more concerned with their popularity and votes than lives.”

Stacey then went after those anti-maskers, calling them “ignorant, self-centered and selfish people” who ignore medical professionals and instead believe that “their ‘right’ not to wear a mask was more important than killing innocent people.”

It’s not.

RIP David Nagy and know that a great many Americans hold _____ responsible for your death, and the other 158,000+.

My mother cooked dinner when we were kids. Every night. We didn’t go out to eat much, and rarely had fast food—which may explain why, to this day, I don’t eat fast food. Buy my favorite story about my mother’s cooking was really about my best friend Curtis’s mother’s, um, culinary stylings.

Once, spending the night at Curtis’ house, we were out in the backyard and his mother came to the window and asked what we wanted for dinner; she said something about spaghettis and we both yelled, “YES!”

Inside the house I watched Curtis’ mom make the dinner and the next day, when I got back home I raced into the kitchen to say to my mother:

“Mom? Mom? Mom? Guess what? They make spaghetti … in … a …can!”

My mother turned and smiled and said:

“Not in this house they don’t.”

The Racist-In-Chief sat down with Axios’ Jonathan Swan and said this about John Lewis:

Swan: How do you think history will remember John Lewis.

_____: I don’t know, I really don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know John Lewis.  He chose not to come to my inauguration, He chose—I never met John Lewis, actually, I don’t believe.

Swan: Do you find John Lewis impressive?

_____: I can’t say one way or the other—I find a lot of people, impressive. I find many people not impressive, but, no, he didn’t come to my inauguration, He didn’t come to my State of the Union speeches, and that’s okay. That’s his right. And, again, nobody has done more for Black Americans than I have. He should’ve come. I think he made a big mistake. I think he should’ve come.

Swan: But taking your relationship out of it, do you find his story impressive—what’s he’s done for this country?

_____: He was a person who devoted  lot of energy and a lot of heart to Civil Rights. But there were many others, also.

This racist can fuck all the way off.

Michael Ferraro. Yum. Curly hair, hot body, loves posing in underwearand, well, getting handsy.

Did I say ‘yum’?

This is a cute little funny tweet, made all the better by the fact that the Tweeter is Kellyanne Conway’s daughter.

Bobservations

I told Carlos that since we’re both at home, I would assign points to chores and whomever has the most points accumulated by the time we are set free—assuming neither one of has killed the other, dismembered him, and shipped him off to various parts of the world via FedEx—the loser would have to take the other away for a weekend wherever the winner wants to go.

First day: I mowed the lawn and awarded myself 100 pts. Carlos raked leaves and got 5 points.

Second day: Carlos cleaned the living room, dining room, office and bedrooms for 35 points. I cleaned the kitchen for 250 points. It’s a rigged system but I like it …

Where do I want to go?

Why is it when you see Oprah and Gayle King, Gayle always looks like she’s about to get a doggy biscuit, a pat on the head, and a ‘Good girl,’ from Oprah?

Christian Siriano, Project Runway winner and fashion designer, is paying attention, and upon hearing about the shortage of medical masks––mainly due to panic buying––he reached out via Twitter to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to offer the services and resources of his fashion house to produce some:

“If @NYGovCuomo says we need masks my team will help make some. I have a full sewing team still on staff working from home that can help.”

And Cuomo accepted and Christian’s and staff went to work competing an order of masks in a weekend.

Oh, and he’s not making a dime off them; it was done free.

Harvey Weinstein has tested positive for the coronavirus in prison begging the question: why the fuck are we testing Weinstein when they are non-criminal Americans who need the test?

As the coronavirus spreads around the county, Jerry Falwell, faux-Christian-religious-wingnut president of Liberty University has invited students to return to residence halls and has directed faculty members to continue to report to campus even as most classes move online.

All in the name of making _____ look good. Who cares if it sparks a surge in new cases or anyone dies? Right, Jerry?

Some good news out of Washington …fingers crossed … it looks like _____’s businesses are barred from getting loans or investments under the new $2 trillion coronavirus stimulus deal, according to Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer.

The ____ Organization, of which the president has not divested though he swore he would, is run by his two elder sons, Junior and The Dumb One.

Hopefully once this is all over, _____ won’t get his fellow GOP criminals to change this and back pay him for all his suffering.

As unemployment claims surge, Starbucks CEO and President Kevin Johnson announced that his company will pay all of its employees in the US and Canada for the next 30 days, regardless of whether they come into work or the stores they work at temporarily close.

That’s how it’s done; people over profits.

Denis Suraev. All I know is that he’s a Russian model, he’s tall, he’s hot, he’s built like a son of a bitch and I’d like to climb him. Is that so wrong?

I Didn't Say It ...

Tina Turner, legend, on her retirement:

“I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I don’t dress up. I was just tired of singing and making everybody happy. That’s all I’d ever done in my life.”

And we thank you.

Now you do you and just be happy.

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_____, to GOP House lawmakers at a retreat in Baltimore, on why he’s orange:

“The light bulb. People said what’s with the light bulb. I said here’s the story, and I looked at it. The bulb that we’re being forced to use. Number one, to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”

And now we know … there is not one single mother**king lie he won’t tell.

Oh, and at the same event, he also once again blasted wind energy—which previously said causes cancer—and claimed that the Democratic debates would go off the air if the wind stopped blowing.

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Graham Norton, British talk show host, on Boris Johnson:

“In a sweet way, it’s as if the United Kingdom was embarrassed for America, felt like you’re all alone out in the world stage so we found our own angry Cabbage Patch Kid and made him the leader. I wouldn’t trust him to water my plants when I was away but somehow, he is the prime minister.”

Boris is a little _____ Jr, though I imagine Donnie Jr wouldn’t like that much.

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Jonnie Reinhart, drag queen, dragging Aaron Schock, disgraced Republican congressman, former self-loathing gay man, and now out and proud gay bar patron and disco boy lover:

“I’m not a confrontational person. And immediately my heart started racing, and I was like, ‘Okay, what am I gonna do?’ I know a lot of people would’ve loved me to just kick him out, or throw a drink at him, or call him out on the mic or just do something really big. But I decided to share a message through song, and I went on stage and I announced, ‘This song goes out to somebody who’s in the audience and it goes out to anybody who votes against gay rights. And I sang ‘F**k You‘ by Lily Allen which was not a very subtle message.”

Schock should get a big fuck you from every member of the LGBTQ community until, and perhaps even after, he actually comes out, instead of posing with go-go boys in bars and hanging around drag shows.

Asshat.

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Jerry Falwell Jr, fuming about staff forwarding emails he sent that disparage Liberty University students, staff, and parents to other administrators, and how he’ll fight it:

“I’m not going to dignify the lies that were reported yesterday with a response [but] Liberty owns every single one of those emails. It’s our property. They were working for us when they used our server. Our policies make it clear every email sent on our server is owned by Liberty, and if anybody shares it with anybody outside Liberty, it is theft. And so that’s the underlying crime.”

Methinks this pandering hypocritical f**k protests too much, and I don’t think law enforcement, much less the FBI, will take even a moment to look into this ridiculousness.

You’re going down, Jerry, and you’re probably love it.

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Kevin McCarthy, House Minority Leader and _____’s lapdog, on the everyone from the Air Force to Michael Elizabeth Pence and Mother staying at _____ hotels:

"The President's resorts are hotels that he owns, that people are traveling. It's just like any other hotel ... I don't know that that's different than anything else. Is it different than if I go and stay or eat at a Marriott here or eat at the _____?"

Yes, you asshat, because the current Occupant of the White House is making money off of it, with our tax dollars going into his pockets.

The man who doesn’t pay taxes is living off of mine, and yours.

Fuck off, traitor.

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