The Funny Papers

Randy Bish, Max Espinoza, Deb Milbrath, Trevor Irvin, Gary Huck, David Horsey, Daniel Boris, Clay Bennett, Nick Anderson, JD Crowe, Marc Murphy, Michael de Adder

Know The Facts and ...

Here's some information, some facts, of what's happening in this country and what  we want, what we’re getting, and how do we make our needs heard …

An ICE officer walked up to a Southwest gate at a Dallas airport and said he needed to board the plane. The gate agent asked a simple question:

“Do you have a warrant signed by a judge?”

He replied ‘No,’ but said he had an administrative warrant—a form ICE fills out for itself. It is not a judicial warrant and does not give an officer the right to walk down a jet bridge.

So the agent said, ‘No.’ The ICEstapo asked for the passenger list and was again told, ‘No.’ He asked to look at the computer screen while people boarded, so he could see the names himself. No again.

Three refusals. He left without an arrest.

Here's what makes this matter beyond one flight. The ICEstapo counts on people not knowing the difference between the two kinds of warrants. That confusion is the tool. It is how doors get opened that don't legally have to be opened.

One person at a gate knew the difference and acted on it, alone, mid-shift, with no lawyer standing behind them and no guarantee anyone would ever hear about it.

That's not a small thing. That's the whole thing. Know your rights.

That’s The Resistance.

Here’s a quick message to all sane Republicans and I know you’re out there:

He pardoned 1600 violent criminals and you said nothing.

He bulldozed the East Wing and you said nothing.

He interfered with the release of the Epstein Files and you said nothing.

He took over the Kennedy Center and named it after himself and you said nothing.

He accepted a $400 million gift from a  foreign government and you said nothing.

He threatened Canada, Cuba, Denmark, Greenland, Colombia, Venezuela and Brazil and you said nothing.

He tariffed just about everyone but Russia, causing inflation and instability worldwide and you said nothing.

He attacked a nation during mediated negotiations and you said nothing.

His ill-conceived war killed 175 children on day one and you said nothing.

He alienated and insulted our allied and you said nothing.

His ICEstapo terrorized and murdered US citizens and you said nothing.

He committed murder on the high seas and you said nothing.

He co-opted the Department of Justice and directed it to prosecute his enemies and you said nothing.

It’s time you start talking.

Attorney General Todd Blanche AKA the President’s Personal Attorney said:

“I’m not sure of the uproar of having Border Patrol or ICE at a polling station. What’s the risk?”

Here’s the answer, Todd:

Because it’s illegal. Federal statute 18 U.S.C. § 592 prohibits deploying “troops or armed men” to locations where elections are held, to prevent interference and intimidate.

You’d think the so-called Attorney General would know that.

Now, let’s talk about the GOP and their campaign of fear regarding transgender athletes and show some facts:

There are more active Ku Klux Klan chapters in this country than there are trans athletes.

There have been more child marriages in this country this year than there are trans athletes.

There have been more school shootings in America in 2026 than there are trans athletes.

There are more antigovernment extremist groups in almost every single state in this country than there are trans athletes.

It’s not trans athletes; it’s fear mongering and hate speech.

And the lies don’t stop … Cankles is taking credit for the cost of prescription drugs prices falling 3.1%, the biggest drop since 1963 but … Medicare’s first negotiated drug prices kicked in this year, cutting prices on 10 major drugs by 38% to 79% because of ...

Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act.

A law that not one single Republican voted for and yet they are taking credit.

 

Jeff Bezos, one of the richest men in the world, wants YOU—not me because I don’t buy anything from  Amazon—to tip his employees during these hot summer months.

I guess $40 to $80 million a day doesn’t buy as many bottles of water as we thought.

EAT THE RICH!

 

So, if it’s safe to mail Tax Refunds, Social Security Checks, Stimulus Checks, Prescription Drugs, Passports, Driver’s Licenses or the actual ID that you need to vote, then why isn’t is safe to Vote By Mail?

Asking for a country.

 

I understand why people are having such a hard time deciding which party to vote for in the Midterms.

I mean, the Democrats may have disappointed you.

And then with Republicans you have Child-Raping Murderers running Concentration Camps with our Tax Dollars draining the US Treasury directly into their Offshore Bank Accounts while making the Planet uninhabitable and the Food Poisonous.

It’s a real Sophie’s Choice, isn’t it?

So Vote as if ...

Your skin is not white 

You need medical care 

Your spouse is an immigrant 

Your land is on fire 

Your child is transgender

Your home is flooded

Your sister is a victim of gun violence 

Your brother is gay 

Your water is unsafe 

Your daughter is a sexual assault survivor 

Privilege has no place in elections but empathy does.

And this is your reminder that no federal election in the United States has ever been canceled or postponed due to war or any other reason.

The US Constitution does not grant any President any authority to unilaterally delay or cancel a federal election.

Period.

The Funny Papers

Matt Wuerker, Nick Anderson, Pedro X Molina, Trevor Irvin, Michael de Adder, Chris Britt, Lalo Alcaraz, Dennis Goris, Daniel Boris, Rick McKee, Gary Huck, Randy Bish, Mike Luckovich, Marc Murphy, Jesse Duquette

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Pedro X Molina, Lalo Alcaraz, Matt Wuerker, Trevor Irvin, Nick Anderson, Robert Unell, Tim Campbell, John Branch, Daniel Boris, Barry Blitt, Dennis Goris, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Jesse Duquette,

Bobservations

This Carlos story needs a flashback because we dig deep …

When we first moved to Camden and purchased Casa Bob y Carlos, we asked Carlos’ Aunt Gloria to visit, and she did … in December when it’s frigid in Camden. And Gloria had only ever lived in Mexico City and Miami and San Juan, so the cold was not her thing. But we tried to make her comfortable and raised the heat while she was here; it got so hot in the house I was in T-shirt and shorts the whole time, but Gloria never felt warm. One day she opened the door to her room and shouted down the hallway:

“Please, boys, turn up the heat. I will happily pay the bill.”

Turn it up we did but she was never warm—which is why she never visited in winter again—but the joke was on us because when she left and I was cleaning the guest room I noticed the vents in her room, and in her bathroom, were all closed! Oy.

So, cut to this morning, and I turn on the AC at about 7:30. We keep the AC at 80-degrees because there are ceiling fans in every room and the house stays cool, but as I walked into the kitchen Carlos says:

“I’ll gladly pay the AC bill for some cool air.”

And I responded thusly:

“You picked the wrong morning to fuck with me.”

“What—"

“I got the most horrendous cramp in my foot at 3AM and couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I got up to take an aspirin hoping that would ease the pain and hobbled into the kitchen to find … we had no aspirin or Tylenol or anything thing. So I lay in bed wincing and tossing and turning.”

“I thought I told you we needed Ty—”

“Nope, save that story, sister, because if you’d said we needed Tylenol we would have Tylenol.”

“Well, I also had a bad night’s sleep because when I came to bed at 11:30 your phone kept making that sound it makes when you plug the charger into it and I had to get up in the dark and search the room for your phone to unplug it and plug it back in and then try to get some sleep.”

“Did you get some sleep?”

“I did.”

“Well I didn’t get any sleep and so now you will be paying for that for the rest of your natural life.”

Well, at least until the end of the day.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from September 2010 and is entitled “Someone Has it Easy On Caturday...”

"While Carlos and I cleaned house and reorganized a closet … yes, we are that much fun....someone else took a snooze.

Lucky."

Oy, the punim on that cat!

Well, Suri Cruise has officially severed ties with her estranged dad, Tom Cruise, by officially changing her last name from Cruise to Noelle.

$$$cientology; destroying families everywhere.

Last week the Department of Defense released the names of the 18 servicemembers killed since the start of Cankles War for Profit and DUI Pete’s War for Ego. 

But then without a word the names of Lt. Tyler James Feehan, 25, Pvt. Isabella González, 19, Sgt. Michael Emmanuel Swinton, 30,  and Sgt. Ángel Rampersad, 28, were removed from the list of dead Americans because according to the Regime, since they died during a ceasefire their deaths are not war casualties.

Say their goddamned names. They died for this country!

Sophie Cunningham, basketball player, is the latest athlete to step up against trans women in sports saying she wants to protect children but, um, Sophie, you ignorant fool?

The NCAA president has said there are fewer than 10 openly transgender athletes out of 510,000 athletes yet this dominates headline.

Sophie and the rest of her ick, I mean, ilk might best want to stand up for the women and girls raped by the president and his friendly pedophile buddy.

The thoughts that cross my mind as sleep … we all know cats have excellent night vision; they can leap to the tops of closet shelves, climb atop a bookcase, roam the house all night long so …

Why do they step on my face in the middle of the night?

Cuz it’s a choice, right Rosita?

PS The look on Rosie's face clearly says, "Keep coming for me, buddy, and you'll find out what I step in right before walking across your face!"

In another shameless display of GOP and MAGAt hypocrisy and goose-stepping for their cult leader, think back in recent history when the Cult went mad that NYC had elected a Muslim mayor just 25 years after 9/11 and now they are literally handing nuclear weapons to Saudi Arabia, the country that raised the 9/11 attackers because Cankles got paid by the Saudis.

In all honesty I don’t think they’re declaring Mitch McConnel dead because he doesn’t have an unqualified sister to replace him.

Hubert Kacprowicz is a lot of things ... actor ... Biomedical engineer ... and Renaissance man; he's also blond, blue-eyed and tall, so Would You Hit It?