Oscar Fashion ... From Teyana to Timothée

Okay, so here are my thoughts ... my thoughts ... on the Hots and Nots and Just Plain Awfuls at the Oscars.

What did you think?

VERY BEST

Teyana Taylor is what looked like fur but turned out to be feathers or fringe. No one else looked quite as regal or edgy or fun.

BEST  

clockwise from top left

Ava DuVernay took wing in this glamourous gown in midnight blue. Those shoulder wings looked like she was about to take flight.

Nicole Kidman in pale pink feathers and jewels looked the very essence of Pretty in Pink. The feathered peplum and the feathered fringe fluttered as she walked, or glided, down the

Wunmi Mosaku was nine months pregnant at the Oscars and she glowed in this green jeweled dress; pure elegance.

Rose Byrne brought the class to the carpet in this simple flowered gown with minimal jewelry and a simple hair style; as any Oscar nominee should.

GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Amy Madigan looked fun and playful in this fringed jacket and she had every right; her last Oscar nomination was forty years ago!

Audry Nuna looked regal in this gold-plated, full skirted dress; she played almost evil looking and rocked it.

Emma Stone always looks really good, if not sometimes very simple; this is a classy, elegant look without all the bells and whistles of some other women.

Kathy Bates proved you can be a woman of a certain age and look utterly gorgeous; from the hair to the neckline to the jeweled bodice and the full skirt she was a queen.

Renate Reinsve is Simply Red; at first I was annoyed because I was getting red sheet wrapped around the body, but the more I saw it, I loved the simplicity in the sea of ball gowns and feathers and sequins.

Jessie Buckley floated down the carpet and up the stairs to collect her Oscar; I loved the red banded top and the flowing pink skirt.

Demi Moore is the yin to Nicole’s yang; I loved the feathers but hated the feathers nearly covered her recently constructed 2026 face.

Chase Infiniti is someone I don’t know but I love the lilac ruffles falling from her side. I like her hair, but maybe something different for this dress.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Anne Hathaway looks like she was pulling a Rose Byrne dress but on sale; too many flowers cheap and the look and the black gloves? Seriously.

Bella Thorne was giving 60’s Ann-Margaret—Google her kids—but the gown looked old on her; she should have gone more youthful and fun.

GOOP in a stiff column dress to match her stiff face; I have never seen a more dour look at the Oscars, especially in white.

Melissa McCarthy has been looking fabulous lately and this sequined number did the trick; but then why wear a long-sleeved black T underneath it?

Priyanka Chopra-Jonas is a mess; the bodice seemed ill-fitting and kind of lumpy and the skirt looks like it belongs to another dress. But the black shoes? Oh Hell No.

Ginnifer Goodwin gives me grieving widow in the dress combined with Let’s ride the slide childishness of the hair. Mismatch.

Felicity Jones got swallowed up in this yellow mess; it gives her now shape and there seemed to be far too many embellishments and  flounces and ruffles.

Ejae is someone I don’t know and I liked this dress at first, but when I saw this picture the sash around her waist made it appear as if she was wearing a white knee-length slip underneath it and now I cannot unsee it.

BAD 

clockwise from top left

Barbie Ferreira in a ball gown. A.Ball.Gown. I thought they were over, especially in that 80s blue, and yet what made it even worse was, as she posed on the carpet she kept bending over to display The Girls. Nope, we don’t do that here.

Elle Fanning in a ball gown too, though she always wears the Cinderella fantasy look and it’s getting old and so is Elle, Bring some edge, girl  before you’re the seventy-year-old actress in Disney Princess drag.

Sigourney Weaver should take notes from Kathy Bates; women of a certain age don’t need to be completely covered up in sequined sofa fabrics unless she’s making a play for JD Vance?

Kristin Wiig is either way too avant-garde or way too simple, or way too drab. Drab won this year with a tank top and a floor-length hostess skirt.

WTF... Pick Your Worst 

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Auli’i Cravalho looks like her breasts are cannons and she’s ready to go to Iran and fight; plus the skirt seems extra full in the front.

Chloe Zhao is the Angel of Doom; how else do you explain this mess.

Isabel Zuaa took last year’s trend of having shoulder straps slightly above the shoulders and raised it by about a foot; it’s like she’s the Incredible Shrinking woman in the dress.

Odessa A'zion does her own styling; ‘nuff said about that. I will give her props for having a voice but maybe she shouldn’t always listen to it.

Misty Copeland is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and yet this dress with the over-sized almost Talking Heads looking black bolero jacket with ruffles is senseless. Maybe, as a retired ballet dancer she missed the tutu?

MEN

VERY BEST

Michael B. Jordan could show up in sweats and ratty t-shirt still look fabulous but he chose this sleek and modern take on a tuxedo that closed at the neck. I love the buttons and the chain detail and  I could eat him with a spoon.

VERY GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Shaboozy; I just wanna sit next to him and watch him smile. And smile he did in this modern take of an older tuxedo look. The white tie and the hint of white in the shoe and the jewelry sealed the deal!

Jeremy Pope chose the modern white double-breasted tuxedo jacket with a black shirt coiled around his neck; he looked just p[lain cool and hot.

Ryan Coogler chose a simple black tuxedo with a white bow tie and the perfect sleek pocket square. He looked regal and handsome.

Adrien Brody; I have always crushed on Adrien Brody and he served it up at the Oscars in this all-black tuxedo with a jeweled pocket square of his own; tall and dreamy.

GOOD 

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Chase Stokes looked luscious in a velvet jacket with no tie and sleek black pants. Grrrrrr.

Lewis Pullman kinda went safe in a simple man’s suit and tie but he pulled it off; effortless.

Miles Caton played the color drenched card and wore the same color from head to toe; it was elegant and classy.

Pedro Pascale was hot without the weather in this crisp white shirt with ruffled sleeves and a floral detail above the pocket. Few men could this off but Pedro isn’t like other men, he’s got edge.

Joe Alwyn looked simple and elegant in a black tuxedo but the tie was a nice choice; not a bow-tie or a necktie but a simple blousy tie.

Kieran Culkin is classic yet modern in a burgundy jacket over black shirt and tie and pants; like many of the men, he bejeweled the lapel for some pizzazz.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Damson Idris looks good, and hot and new, but the jacket just seems too long and too heavy for a hot night; he gets props, though, for designing his own jewelry and lapel pin.

Felix Kammerer is a little too casual for the Oscars. I like the color but the rolled-up sleeves are too retro not cool retro.

Paul Mescal; goddess I adore him, but he seems to be wearing an outfit similar to Joe Alwyn’s but it seems ill-fitting and uncomfortable. But Paul gets a pass because he’s Paul.

Wagner Moura was one of the Hot Men at the Oscars but that white buttoned up shirt with no tie looked like he forgot to finish dressing. An all-black look would have been much better.

Jacob Elordi gets points for being a tall drink or water and rocking a porn stache, but his look seems old school, emphasis on the old and I cannot forgive his shoes.

Hudson Mills—one of the stars of Heated Rivalry—looks nice enough though he’s got a smug face and that takes points off, but what really annoyed me was that he was trying to sell the accessories; he held his arm at his waist to show off the watch. This isn’t Home Shopping, Hudson.

WTF 

left to right

Kevin O’Leary—I do not know him—but he looked like a professional wrestler who showed up at the wrong event.

Spike Lee. First off, the look isn’t bad except for the big purse but the way he’s standing looks like he either has to go to the bathroom or just did.

WORST

Timothée Chalamet. Where to begin … his smug little scamp attitude, the all-white milk man look that screams Garanimals For Tiny Actors; the stance; the sunglasses. It all makes it clear that Timothée thinks he’s It but he’s not.

Oscarvations

Well another year and another Oscarvations. And while I haven’t seen a lot of the films, I’ve seen some, and I am mostly here for the spectacle and drama and surprise and humor … and the Hot Men so let’s dig in …

My first thought was Conan O’Brien, seriously? I mean, he’s funny enough, but there’s no edge; he mostly Dad jokes and some self-deprecating humor. Now, that isn’t to say he didn’t get some good ones in and those I will share throughout this post like …

“F1 did so well they’re thinking of doing a sequel called Caps Lock.”

But let’s start with the montage. Every host since the Days of Crystal, Billy Crystal, thinks they should do an opening montage where they insert themselves into the nominated films. You can’t; you’re not Crystal. And I will say Conan’s was about the worst … he had himself made up to look like Amy Madigan’s character in Weapons and I don’t think I was the only one who didn’t know that. Then he ran around all the Oscar films being chased by children until he was chased through the theater and then magically appeared onstage. Too much time, zero payoff, though he managed to get two good lines in, saying to his makeup artist:

“I think you used too much white.”

“Nope, that’s just you.”

“But I look like Bette Davis with Lupus.”

And then onstage he did a whole “thing” about him winning an Oscar, with The Pope blessing him and him blessing the Pope, and a hawk delivering his Oscar while Josh Groban sang. It could have been cut and we would have shaved 5 minutes off the show.

“I’m the last human host of the Academy Awards.”

Luckily, Zoe Saldaña appeared to present the SUPPORTING ACTRESS to Amy Madigan for Weapons … she was  last nominated 40 years ago for Twice in a Lifetime and was overjoyed to win again. She thanked her husband of forty-three years, Ed Harris, extra HOT MAN for being 75-years-old … just sayin’.

Will Arnett and Channing present the Animated film awards and all I can think is ‘What happened to Channing’  … sweaty and bald … what happened? The BEST ANIMATED FEATURE goes to KPop Demon Hunters while the BEST ANIMATED SHORT goes to The Girl Who Cried Pearls

“Last year when I hosted Los Angeles was on fire. This year everything’s great!”

Then came a live version of the juke joint scene from Sinners, which I loved that was followed by scenes from Marty Supreme AKA The Ping Pong Movie and the appearance in the orchestra pit of The Timothy Chalamet Bum Drum. I kind of wish they had really paddled that smug little actor instead of the fake butt.

“Sinners director Ryan Coogler says he declined becoming a voting member of the Academy because he doesn’t like judging his peers. But the rest of you pricks are fine with that.”

Anne Hathaway … speaking of smug appears with Anna Wintour in a riff on The Devil Wears Prada II … coming soon to a theater near you … to present BEST COSTUME DESIGN … Anne asks Anna what she thinks of her look and Anna says, “The nominees are …” … snap … and the Oscar goes to Frankenstein  designer Kate Hawley who begged the question, why do some costume designers walk on stage in what looks like a wrinkled black sheet over a wrinkled white sheet? I don’t get it, but anyway … when Anne and Anna present BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP Anne asks Anna to read the nominees and Wintour says, “Thank you Emily.”—Hathaway’s character in Prada and I don’t think Anna was acting .. to Frankenstein … Mike Hill, Jordan Samuel, and Cliona Furey.

Next up is the ‘New’ Oscar category for ACHIEVEMENT IN CASTING and HOT MAN Paul Mescal appears with GOOP … didn’t she promise us she’d given up acting … and Chase Infiniti and HOT MAN Wagner Moura and Delroy Lindo present the Oscar to Cassandra Kulukundis for One Battle After Another

Conan appears with a leaf blower …. Why … and then introduces Matt Barry, the announcer for the show, who is doing his job from London … again why?

“Security is tight. I’m told there are threats from both the opera and ballet communities.”

Kamail Nanjiani presents BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM but first goes on a riff … “Many full-length movies would work just as well if not better as short films …instead of It’s a Wonderful Life how about It’s a Wonderful Month … West Side Anecdote … The King’s Tweet … Some of That Jazz …call Me By Your Nickname …No County for Old Man … One Battle … that’s it, you get one … Schindler’s Post-It”

He opens the envelope and … “It’s a tie. I’m not joking … so every calm down” … the first film is The Singers and Sam A. David [left] … and how hot is this kid and why is he making movies and not starring in them … and Jack Piat. The second winner is Two People Exchanging Saliva and Alexandre Singh and Natalie Musteata …

“I was in a  movie with Rose Byrne. It’s hard to act in a scene with someone you have an enormous crush on but did an admirable job.”

Kieran Culkin presents BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR … to Sean Penn for One Battle After Another … Penn is a no show …  and Delroy Lindo looked none to be pleased at Penn’s win.

Conan does a bit about making movies that continually have to remind the viewer what the film is about because our attention spans have disappeared. 

He and HOT MAN Sterling K. Brown offer an updated version of Casablanca which takes place during WWII … “the one with Hitler.” Sterling was the best part of that bit.

Robert Downey Jr and HOT MAN Chris Evans present BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY … Paul Thomas Anderson One Battle After Another … who gives a lovely speech about family … he’s married to Maya Rudolph … 

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY to Ryan Coogler for Sinners and the crowd goes wild … who also gives a lovely speech about his cast and his family, wife and children with a long camera shot on HOT MAN Michael B. Jordan.

“An alternate Oscars is being hosted by Kid Rock. It’s just down the street at Dave and Buster’s”

In Memoriam … Billy Crystal talks of Rob Reiner … This is Spinal Tap, The Sure Thing, Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally … and then Misery and A Few Good Men and how Rob and Michelle became the driving force for marriage equality in America … “Buddy, what fun we had storming the castle.”

During the In Memoriam Rachel McAdams paid a touching tribute to the late Diane Keaton with whom she co-starred in The Family Stone, honoring her as a "legend with no end" and "a woman who wore so many hats." Literally. And then Barbra Streisand talked about the late Robert Redford then sang a snippet of The Way We Were

Conan then offers up the Academy’s plan to reach younger viewers:

When you’re hosting the Oscars and lokenuinely trying to rizz up the young demographic by going brain-rot modem and even though you’re uncoded with a bunch of famepilled NPCS you’re still S-Tier level aura farming. Six-Seven.

“Yes, that’s a message young people will see watching broadcast television.”

And old people like me will see and say, What the ….

Sigourney Weaver and HOT MAN Pedro Pascal … Sigourney talks aliens and the downright adorable Grogu AKA Baby Yoda, sitting in the audience with Kate Hudson; Sigourney shrieks her famous line from Alien:

“Get away from him you bitch.”

And presents the Oscar for ACHIEVEMENT IN PRODUCTION DESIGN to Frankenstein’s Tamara Deverell and Shane Vieau and then ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS to Avatar: Fire & Ice … Joe Letteri, Richard Baneham, Eric Saindon & Daniel Barrett

Now Jimmy Kimmel appears:

“Conan went outside and inadvertently exposed his face to the sun and was incinerated so I will be finishing out the rest of the program.”

Would that it was true because he goes one …

“You know there are some countries whose leaders don’t support free speech though I am not at liberty to say which. Let’s just leave it at North Korea and CBS. Fortunately for us there is an international community of filmmakers  dedicated to telling the truth, oftentimes at great risk. There are films that teach us, that call out injustice, inspire us to take action, and there are also documentaries where you walk around the White House trying on shoes.”

He presents the Oscar for BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT to All the Empty Rooms’ Joshua Seftel & Conall Jones and then presents BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE … “Oh man is he gonna be mad his wife wasn’t nominated” … to Mr. Nobody Against Putin’s David Borenstein, Pavel Talankin, Helle Faber & Alžběta Karásková. Borenstein makes the night when he says:

“Mr. Nobody Against Putin is about how you lose your country and what we saw when working with this footage is that you lose it through countless small … acts of complicity. We act complicit when the government murders people on the streets of our major cities when we don’t say anything, When oligarchs take over the media and control how we can produce it and consume it. We all face a moral dilemma but luckily even a nobody is more powerful than you think.”

I needed a bit more of that. And Kimmel.

“Fun fact, Brad Pitt and I are the same age. I was told this by my wife with tears streaming down her face.”

Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne and Ellie Kemper celebrate the 15^th anniversary of Bridesmaids and each read notes from members of the audience  … Rose Byrne’s is from Leonardo DiCaprio asking her to stop looking at him because it makes him nervous and Rose admits to starting because she  thought he was someone else … snap …and then present BEST SCORE to Sinners’ Ludwig Goransson, quite the hottie and then ACHIEVEMENT IN SOUND to F1 and Gareth John, Al Nelson, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Gary Rizzo & Juan Peralta.

“Hamnet and Bugonia sound like off-brand lunchmeat.”

The President of the Academy speaks … pee break … and then Bill Pullman and Lewis Pullman present ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM EDITING to One Battle After Another and Andy Jurgensen.

Demi Moore presents ACHIEVEMENT IN CINEMATOGRAPHY to SINNERS Autumn Durald Arkapaw … and the crowd goes wild … she’s the first woman to ever win this award. She asks all the women to stand up because “I don’t get here without you.”

Benicio del Toro and Priyanka Chopra Jonas present BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM to Sentimental Value  Norway which was also nominated for Best Picture?

Lionel Richie—was Barry Manilow not available—presents BEST ORIGINAL SONG to “Golden” from KPop Demon Hunters ... a song that makes me want to drive my car off the road when  I hear it.

Zendaya and HOT MAN Robert Pattinson, looking sleek and British and bored present ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING to Paul Thomas Anderson One Battle After Another

Adrian Brody, last year’s Best Actor presents LEAD ACTOR to HOTTEST MAN Michael B. Jordan for  Sinners …and again the crowd goes wild …  and wild … 

“Mama what’s up? … I stand here because of the people who came before me … Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington, Halle Berry, Jamie Foxx, Forest Whitaker … thank you everybody in this room that had something to do with my success.”

Mikey Madison, last year's Best Actress presents LEAD ACTRESS to Jessie Buckley for Hamnet whom I could listen to for hours with her lovely Irish accent  … 

“Thank you to the incredible women that I stand beside, I am inspired by your art and your heart and I wanna work with every single one of you and to my parents for teaching us to dream and carve from your own passion. It’s Mother’s Day in the UK today and I dedicate this to the beautiful chaos of a mother’s heart.”

Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman give us a little Moulin Rouge duet and then present BEST PITCURE to One Battle After Another Adam Somner, Sara Murphy & Paul Thomas Anderson. But what was up with Teyana Taylor who grabbed Paul Thomas Anderson all the way to the stage and then grabbed one grab one of the Oscars for herself and held onto it like she won? Where was the person who actually won that award?

So, there you have it., good bits, bad bits, funny, bits and a lot of HOT MEN like ...

What did you think?

Oscar Fashions: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and Timothee Chalamet

Here we are, another year, another Oscars, with a little pretty and a little ugly, and one that I will have to scrub from my brain to forget that I saw it, so let’s dive right in …

THE VERY BEST

Halle berry sometimes misses the mark and sometimes tries to hard, but damn, any women that looks this fabulous in a mirrored dress needs to be wearing a mirrored dress so she can see herself all the time.

VERY GOOD

Demi Moore; we all see the work done to her face, with her mouth taking on some weird upside down shape, but … in this dress I forgive her. She looks stunning in a simple silvery sequin number that gave her some curves she desperately needed—did she steal some butt pads from a drag queen. A wee quibble is that I wish she’d get rid of the Cher Hair … even Cher has putt hat away for most events.

Raye looks regal and sexy and so not pink and blush and nude and sweet; she’s out for a helluva night and even though she’s a wee lass, the dress is not swallowing her up;  brava.

Selena Gomez rarely smiles on the red carpet but she was the other night and it may have been this gorgeous gown; it’s va-va-va-voom and she worked it from the hair to the jewels to the shoes.

GOOD—clockwise

Ana de Armas; it’s simple and elegant, but the neck-piece ratcheted it up a notch and only the stringy hair knocked it down a peg.

Lisa is a singer I’ve never heard of, and while this look may seem wrong to some, I love the edge, and the idea of a very oversized coat over a very oversized shirt and pants; very rock-n-roll.

Michelle Yeoh always brings some Old Hollywood glam, and I like that as much as I liked Lisa’s edge. Michelle is chic and cool and colorful.

Brandi Carlile in a suit; but not  a boring suit, a suit with dots and a red sash. I kinda wish the pants were a bit more straight legged to g ive them an edge , but Brandi always does Brandi and no one does it better.

Zoe Saldaña; some of you might not like this, but it’s giving me modern Victorian Grecian goddess; the hair could’a used some work and the gloves are a No, but she brought a new silhouette to the Oscars and she gets props for it not being silver or blush or nude …

Cynthia Erivo is here because she has style and she takes risks and she loves some fashion; I like the dress and it’s deep green nod to Wicked but it kind of swallows her up.

NICE … I HATE NICE

Elle Fanning has made it her mission to wear the cute, sweet, pinky, flowy princess dresses to very single awards show but I bet she would kill the carpet in something dark and moody and evil slutty. Do you hear me, Elle?

Emma Stone. I love the new short hair, and I love her attitude, but with her pale skin and the color of this dress it’s all kind of a one-note gown; pretty but nice and who wants to be nice.

FROM MEH to VERY GOOD

Ariana Grande on the carpet looked ridiculous; I am over her in the cutie pie fluffy, gauzy ball gown-y flesh toned concoctions; plus, how in the hell is she gonna sit down in that thing? 

But then, the bitch shows up onstage to sing wearing a gorgeous blood red sequin-and-tolle gown with some mothertucking ruby slippers! 

That’s the dress, Ari; take note.

MEH—clockwise

Lily-Rose Depp; I get it, Nosferatu, but did she have to create this gauzy, shreddy hooker-ish mess with an ice skating top and salon girl bottom; and do not get me started on that pose.

Lupita Nyong’o usually looks so good and fashionable and chic and also edgy and here she looks like the last girls picked to be a bridesmaid. It bores me.

Margaret Qualley looks dull; I mean, between the boring nothing dress and that up-do on her head, I’m just walking past her.

Mikey Madison is lucky she won an Oscar or else people might remember her for this boring number; she’s a young girl who looks like she raided her Nana’s closet. It looks Good and Plenty and yet it reads like Meh and Less.

Scarlett Johansson is another actress far too young to be looking so matronly. Did her career die and she’s off to the funeral?

Meg Ryan crawled out of the substance to make an appearance and while I like a red velvet gown as much as I like red velvet cake, what’s with the clod-hoppers on her feet. Is this her mucking out the stalls drag?

Connie Nielsen is another one who plays up the dress and then forgets what's on her head. The dress is nice, though the nude illusion, pink blush colors are over for me, but I cannot forgive the hair. Why!!!!!

Isabella Rossellini is a gorgeous women who was swallowed up in her salute to David Lynch and Blue Velvet. Yes, she’s of an older generation but she doesn’t have to wear Grannies drapes.

Felicity Jones in a column of silver. It’s pretty but she could hardly walk and it was giving me Tin Man vibes … and she wasn’t in Wicked!!!

Fernanda Torres is another older actress but this mess doesn’t do her any favors. The peplum is too long and the sleeves, too. I kept thinking if she cut off the bottom of the skirt beneath the peplum  and shortened the sleeves it’d make a nice glitzy fun and flirty cocktail dress … but as an Oscar gown it’s not working.

BAD

Miley Cyrus is always trying to hard to look either chic or tough, designer or trash bag, and she fails on all counts. This all black number is a mess and then she threw on lace driving gloves? While you’re out buying yourself flowers, get yourself a stylist with tatse.

Mindy Kaling looks like Jiffy Pop; she ;looks like the piece of mfoil I take off of the turkey for the last half hour or so to let it brown. Look at Demi or Halle to see how silver is done because it’s not this Reynolds Wrap nightmare.

Penelope Cruz id a beautiful woman but she never quite gets it; the corset on the dress seems too long and covers her hips so she looks like she has none; and those two straggly bits at the bottom? Is the dress trying to escape?

Rita Wilson is an attractive woman and yet she always dresses like someone took the drapes down in the dining room and slapped them on her body in some sort of homage to a chiffon Mumu.

WORST

Whoopi Goldberg is looking good after losing some weight but this shiny number does her no favors; it doesn’t move and so the front lifts off the ground when she stands still and she looks ready to take off. The top part is gorgeous but the bottom part starts too low on her hips … sigh … she almost had it.

Goldie Hawn. That’s all.

WORST OF THE WORST

Jackie Weaver looks like an orderly at the Old Actors Home. All she needs is some sensible shoes with non-slip soles.

THE BEST MEN

Jeff Goldblum has his own quirky style and it’s always something. I love the untucked shirt and white jacket; I love the flower on his lapel,  and I love the colorful placket on the shirt. It’s whimsical and a bit wicked.

Colman Domingo always brings the fashion and this take on a tuxedo, in scarlet no less, with a wrap belt, says it all. And he never forgets the jewelry either.

Paul Tazewell shows he’s a costume designer and stylist with this look; it looks like a classic tuxedo, but then there’s a very wide cummerbund and the white silk scarf doubling as a tie with a jeweled accent. Yes sir, you worked it.

VERY GOOD

Andrew Garfield went casual, but it’s kind of 70s cool guy casual who might just toss his car keys into the fishbowl at the start of the after party if you get my meaning. Additional points for no black and looking long and lean and mean.

Joe Locke, an actor I’ve never heard of, took a sort of old school jacket and pants and set them on fire with a glittering vest and white tie … he just looks cool and I like a messy hairstyle, too.

Sterling K Brown went old school in the white jacket tuxedo and he always looks good; not fussy, but hot.

GOOD—clockwise

Kieran Culkin nails the all-black chic look, from the jacket and shirt all the way down to the shoes; add that in with his irreverence and sense of humor and he’s smoking hot.

Dave Bautista proves a big monster of a man—and I’d like to climb him—can dress chic and classy in a deep blue tuxedo with a hint of glitz on the lapel; take note, Dwayne Johnson.

Adrien Brody always revs my engine, even in a safe tuxedo; tall and lady with a sweet smile and the dash of glamour on the coat—no doubt thanks to his partner, the fabulous Georgina Chapman—he looks fabulous.

Jeremy Pope is sizzling sexy in a black silky suit with an Asian twist; where are my chopsticks?

John M Chu brought out a wee bit of the Wicked—he was the director—in his dark green velvet jacket with silk lapels; just a slight change in color and the look is fresh..

Jeremy Strong  in Obama Tan, with a riff on a tie and some cool shoes. He got the memo that the Tuxedo Barn is not the place to shop for your Oscar drag.

MEH

Edward Norton is a brilliant actor and needs a brilliant stylist who will tell him that his tuxedo may be from 2025 but it’s giving me 1965 Eddie and that’s not good.

Sean Evans is a social media personality on YouTube and he’s only here because, while I loathe the ordinary tuxedo, I have an affinity for a bald man and he fills the bill. Now, if he learned to dress better …

Guy Pearce could be another Jeff Goldblum, but he went for the boring basic bitch of a tuxedo look; he’s a very attractive man but I just want to ask him for another glass of wine from the bar.

Willem Dafoe. I like an all-black look—I’ve been known to rock an all-black look—but Dafoe is giving me shaggy dog who had his head out the car window on the way to the ceremony and it’s ruined everything.

WORST

Jerry O’Connell looks like he always looks … a slimy used car salesman woefully out of place. I  guess those Vegas casinos that offer the 49-cent dinners were one maître de short Sunday night.

Bowen Yang has great style but what self-respecting gay man would wear a flowered embroidered bolero jacket? Oh Bowen, honey … no, no,

Sebastian Stan is smoking hot, with a body like few other men, but this basic tuxedo does him no service especially when the shirt looks a little nicotine stained and the laundry couldn’t bleach it away; it just makes it all look drab.

VERY WORST

Timothee Chalamet  likes to be different but this Country Crock Butter Nutso thing is a miss by a mile. The color is hideous, though I guess if you were playing ‘Where is Timothee’ in the audience shots the other night, you’d appreciate it. I don’t. Sorry, Chalamet, I can’t believe it’s not better … and that’s no typo.

SOMETHING DIFFERENT

Omar Apollo, American singer-songwriter and actor; I’ve never heard of him but he gets props for going outside the box with the cool shoes, the all black suit, the checked scarf as tie and the jewelry on the lapel. But where he really wins me over is the additional of a mothertucking veil! Werk!