It's Snarkurday!

Poor Catherine Zeta-Jones. I’m so glad she’s taken her life back and decided to finally stop feeling bad about being a beautiful rich white woman.

While promoting the Facebook series Queen America … whatever that is … the 48-year-old [?] CZJ is finally taking off the shackles of being humble:

“One thing I’m not is humble any more. I’m sick of being humble. I really am. ‘So sorry I’m rich, so sorry I’m married to a movie star, so sorry I’m not so bad looking. No sorrys. Enough. All that is important to me now is my work. That’s what I love and the rest of my life is a joy because I’ve got two beautiful kids and a healthy, happy husband. It’s all good, and I’m not going to be humble for that either.”

Sorry you’re a self-entitled bitch. Now, go.

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Speaking of going, Liza would like anyone who wants to talk about Renée Zellweger playing her Mama, Judy Garland, in the upcoming Judy, to step aside as she has no time for you.

Recently Radar Online posted a story entitled Renée Zellweger Bonds With Liza Minnelli While Playing Mom Judy Garland In Biopic and Liza decided to Oh Hell no that yarn because, as Mimi once said famously of JLo:

“I don’t know her.”

Liza says:

“I have never met nor spoken to Renee Zellweger… I don’t know how these stories get started, but I do not approve.”

Radar has since removed the story.

Liza didn’t explain why she’s opposed to Judy, but maybe the continued exploitation of her Mama is still too much … or maybe the post was actually written by one Anne Hathaway, who’d hoped to play Judy in her own d-i-sastrous film.

Just sayin’.

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Roseanne Barr is still trying to defend being a racist Twitter troll.

First was the Ambien defense.

Then came the It was a joke defense.

Then there was the idea that she thought Valerie Jarrett was of Saudi and Jewish descent which makes it okay to call her a Muslim ape.

And now this …

“Thomas Muhammad has agreed to speak for me, as he knows the work I have done in civil rights against racism ALL MY LIFE & understands my tweet was about Iran's regime, not race-The website is: http://www.bbunity.com.”

Then she added:

“Rod Serling wrote Planet of The Apes. It was about anti-Semitism. That is what my tweet referred to-the anti-Semitism of the Iran deal. Low IQ ppl can think whatever they want.”

Or people who know a racist tool when they see one.

Go sit by CZJ and wait for the bus to nowhere; you have a seat in the back.

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Clearly this is about keeping the Cosby Coins, but rumor has it that Camille Cosby is finally ready to divorce her sexual predator husband, Bill.

Once upon a time, Camille tried to say the dozens and dozens and dozens of sexual misconduct and rape allegations against her husband were a witch hunt akin to the murder of Emmet Till—yes, she sank that low—but now Camille has apparently left Bill’s side and is staying in their Massachusetts manse all alone …well, alone with her chef, her drivers, and her three grown children.

Bill is staying in Pennsylvania awaiting sentencing.

It smells to me like the divorce is a ploy to get the Jell-O money and hand it to Camille and the kids so when those dozens and dozens of civil suits are filed Mrs. C won’t be a broke-ass b*tch.

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Neil Patrick Harris wasn’t at the Tony Awards last weekend, but he still shot off a series of live Tweets, one of which was one of those Mimi-JLo lines … “I don’t know her” … things aimed at “backstage host” Rachel Bloom. Sadly, the joke fell flat and Bloom wasn’t feeling the NPH hate; she told GQ:

“No, no, no. It wasn’t a joke  … I saw that tweet. And I was kind of devastated. I was actually going to tweet, “This makes me sad.” But then I was like, “Ehhhhhhhhhh … I don’t want to give him that, necessarily.” Look. I’ve met him a couple times. Very recently, backstage in the dressing room of a Broadway show. And we hung out for a solid 15 minutes with the star of this Broadway show. It was just bizarre to me that it wouldn’t ring a bell. And also, that he wouldn’t Google it.”

Oh, and Bloom’s husband was a writer on NPH’s old show How I Met Your Mother And the two have met … several times. But then Bloom threw her own shade back at NPH:

“But look, he’s not a writer, so his version of a Twitter joke is to just kind of … live-comment to Twitter followers with kind of random, unformed thoughts. And fame does that to you—where you think every kind of random, unformed thought is a gem, because you get 10,000 likes from it. “

NPH felt the heat and, of course, Twit-pologized:

“Sincere apologies to @Racheldoesstuff for my Tony tweet. I failed to research her before pressing ‘send’, and what I thought was a funny comment in our living room must have been far from funny to read, backstage, mid show. As a performer and a parent, I should have known better.”

Rachel has accepted his apology and once again all is right in the universe! At least on Broadway!

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Judith Nathan Giuliani is about to quit a bitch … a bitch called Rudy …and she is talking no prisoners.

See, according to Judy, Rudy has ALLEGEDLY been boning one Maria Rosa Ryan since right before he kicked Wife #3 to the curb. Judy filed for divorce five days after Rudy and The Side-Piece were spotted getting cozy at a ­hotel in Maine. No word on whether Maria has filed for divorce, though.

No word on why anyone would ever marry Rudy Giuliani, much less him anywhere near you. I get the skeeves just seeing his picture.

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So, speaking of marriages on the Rocks … the rumor going around is that after 19 years of marriage, Victoria Beckham and David Beckham are done after a rumor broke that Beckham had bent it into one of their daughter’s teachers.

Now, both their reps—they each have their own, nothing to see there—have denied the tryst, and point out that Posh and Becks, and their brood, are set to do a photo shoot for Vogue. And, while that may seem like they’re staying together for the kids, others say they’re staying together for the coins … 500 million of them.

Anyone can have kids, but it takes a lot of work to earn a half-billion dollars and who wants to part with even half of that?

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Oh Jeff Lewis, that mouth of yours.

Lewis, the star of Bravo’s Flipping Out and his partner, Gage Edward, hired a woman to be their surrogate and carry their daughter Monroe. It all worked out fine and made for a Very Special Episode of Flipping Out but … now the surrogate, Alexandra Trent, is suing Jeff and Gage, and she has a mighty fine case.

It seems that the relationship between the Daddy’s and The Surrogate went south after Lewis made an off-color joke about Trent’s vagina while she was giving birth to his child:

“If I was a surrogate, and I had known there was going to be an audience, I probably would have waxed. And that was the shocking part for Gage. I don’t think Gage had ever seen a vagina, let alone one that big.”

So last week, Alexandra Trent filed suit claiming that Lewis and Edward had humiliated her and left her “deeply damaged” by making the “disgusting” comment on the show; she also accused Bravo and Flipping Out producers Authentic Entertainment of filming her vagina without permission, claiming that she had never given consent to have her delivery filmed and that it “caused incredible anguish, self-loathing, contempt and depression.”

I think she has a strong case, though I cannot imagine that she had no idea that Jeff Lewis is kind of a pig who says inappropriately rude things to anyone and everyone all the time.

Still, I sense Jeff Lewis will be a surrogate for Alexandra Trent’s bank account.

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Another shocking marital break-up in Hollywood.

Jenny Garth’s third husband, actor Dave Abrams, has filed for divorce just shy of the second anniversary.

Jennie and Dave met on a blind date in late 2014 and were engaged four months later, then married two months after that, so they’re used to doing things fast … date, proposal, marriage, divorce in under four years!

When Dave filed for divorce he requested that Jennie be denied spousal support though he said that, ahem, “everything is chill” between the splitting up couple and that they would “remain friends.” 

Maybe not; last week Jennie filed a response to Dave’s divorce and asked the court to terminate any ability Dave might have of requesting spousal support, citing that the 37-year-old actor signed a prenuptial agreement.

She still has 90210 coins, you know, and doesn’t want Dave’s greasy hands on them because, well, who the f%k is Dave Abrams? Dave’s acting resume is slim at best; he has played “cool guy” on one episode of 2 Broke Girls and has a few “uncredited” roles …Hollywood-speak for “extra.”

Meanwhile she was Kelly Taylor! Know what I mean?

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Wait, what? Jason Mraz is a bi guy?

Well, the 40-year-old Mraz has been a longtime supporter of the LBGTQ community and recently wrote a love poem to our people for Billboard and Pride Month in which he includes the line:

“I am bi your side.”

Play on words or into more than one gender? Jason’s hinted several times in the past that he’d be fine with trying out a gay … raises hand … and was maybe, kinda, sorta, about dating his gay best friend back in 2005:

“It wasn’t until we were out for dinner on Valentines Day that I realized we both we’re having a very romantic time together. Right before I moved to California he gave me a strong-willed kiss goodbye, which I have never experienced before. Unfortunately, he had a little bit more facial hair than I like.”

Here’s Mraz’s full poem:

“Dear You,
Thank you.
You have inspired me.
Re-wired me.
You showed me what strength is.
You demonstrated courage over and over again.
You risked so much for love.
You never compromised your expression
Even when
Your rights and freedoms were being compromised.
You stood up for me.
You stood up for the world.
And now the world is better because of you.
We still have a long way to go
But know
I am bi your side.
All ways.”

Am I gonna have to head to the warehouse for a toaster oven, Jason?

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Go ahead laugh, but we’ve already elected one dimwitted asshat of a reality star as president so is the idea that one Kim Kardastrophe-West might run for office one day too far-fetched?

Kardastrophe-West recently stepped into the spotlight of the ACLU by getting herself some airtime as the savior who freed Alice Marie Johnson, non-violent drug offender who was serving a disproportionate-to-the-crime life sentence without the possibility of parole. And she …or maybe it was her giant ass … convinced _____ to commute Johnson’s sentence and now she has told CNN that she wouldn’t say no to running for POTUS.

Seriously. Don’t think it can’t happen?  And think about Kanye as the First Lunatic!

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I Didn't Say It.....

Sir Elton John, on being "fed up" with being a treated like a second-class citizen in the US:

"In this country, we need more dialogue. We don't need any more stone throwing. We don't need any more vitriol. We need people to say, 'OK. I'm straight. You're gay. Let's get along. I'm Republican. You're Democratic. Let's work together.' I'm sick and tired of people being hateful to each other in this country Everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs and their own spirituality. The big difference is that the dogma of the church can be so hateful and divisive. It's stuck in the stone age. We don't live in the stone age anymore. The church is losing people left, right and center because people are fed up with the rhetoric that they're giving them."

I guess becoming a father has pushed Elton out into the pro-marriage, pro-equality spotlight. I remember when he said he didn't want to get married, and now, well, I think he's realizing that separate--i.e. civil unions--is not equal.

Megachurch pastor Joel Osteen, on the sin that is homosexuality:

"The scriptures shows that it's a sin. But you know, I'm not one of those that are out there to bash homosexuals and tell them that they're terrible people and all of that. I mean, there are other sins in the Bible too...I don't believe homosexuality is God's best for a person's life...."Well, it's strictly back to what the scripture says. I mean, I can't grab one part and say God wants you to be blessed and live an abundant life, and not grab the other part that says, you know what? You know, live that kind of life. So it comes back to the scripture. I'm not the judge. You know, God didn't tell me to go around judging everybody."

No, God didn't tell you to go around judging people.
You do that all on your own.

Tiffany, former pop star and one-hit wonder, on dating, and apparently outing, New Kids On The Block member Jonathan Knight:

"He turned gay later. I didn't do it, but he's fabulous, though. I had issues with that. I was thinking that I did. But, no....Now looking back while we were dating," she says. "He was so much fun. We used to do facials together. He was so easy to talk to."

Oh, Tiffany, honey, no one blames you for making anyone gay, because, well, you can't do that.
I will however hold you responsible for mall singers, Debbie Gibson, really bad pop music.
And Justin Bieber.

Jason Mraz, on not getting married until everyone has that right: 

"We both feel that in our engagement, we have a union that's really special and cant be broken. It's a sacred bond. The wedding would be nice for our family, our friends, our community -- our moms especially -- and so it puts us in the fight. We can't get married until [gay] marriage is legal and equal...I think giving people the right to marry will be a huge movement in civil rights."

It's nice to have such an ally for the LGBT community, and one who stands by his convictions, and keeps verbalizing them.
I love you, Jason. And when you can get married, I'll come to your wedding, and you can come to mine. Or, howsabout a nice double wedding?

Michael Musto, on what he sees as the hypocrisy of Calvin Klein:

"Calvin, darling, you're embarrassing yourself. What's worse, you're embarrassing the whole community. You were never really that much of a gay hero in the first place. Remember when you suddenly had a wife because, as AIDS made it uncool to be gay, you took the wussy way out and closeted yourself so you could sell more T shirts and perfume? That was a hideous approach and I screamed my lungs out about it--but it was better than now! Now you've hooked up with that almost-21-year-old ex-porn star, Nick Gruber, and you're fawning over him as if this were real love and not a massive late-life crisis being acted out for the horrified masses. It's not going to work!"

You know, I'm kinda with Musto on this.
I remember when Calvin Klein got "married" to Kelly, and I kept thinking, Kelly's a man, right?
Not cool, Calvin.

David Gandy, supermodel, on his tough life:

"People still just think Zoolander, and to come out with your pride and dignity intact is probably quite hard in this business. Now there are younger guys coming in who want to be models. I'm actually proud to say I'm a model now. You pay your dues of not being listened to, but now people are starting to say, 'Maybe this guy's onto something.'...Trust me to end up working in the only industry in the world where women get paid more than men, and treated loads better. We're trying to change that. In the hierarchy of a shoot, you have the photographer, the female model, the stylists, the assistants, then the male model. You are the lowest of the low."

I love me some David Gandy, but, come on, I imagine there are a lot tougher ways to earn a buck, or several million.

Tea Party supported, Senator Mike Lee, a Utah Repugnant--and I mean repugnant--on the violent rhetoric of the Teabaggers:

"The shooter wins if we, who’ve been elected, change what we do just because of what he did."

The shooter wins if people like Lee stop using violent words and images in their speeches and campaign ads?
No, you moronic fucktard, we win, because we become less about violence and more about civility, which is obviously something the Tea Party and its idiotic minions know nothing about.
They want to quell the speech of anyone who disagrees with them, but retain the right to inflict violence through words on the country.
That is unAmerican.

Porn star Reese Rideout, on being gay for pay:

"I can have sex at work without thinking about the other person because I'm genuinely straight. But gay sex is tough if you're straight. The first time I shot a scene with another man, it was oral sex, and I couldn't keep it up because I wasn't turned on."

But I'll bet you sprang a woody when you got that first paycheck, didn't you?
And I bet you keep springin' 'em just thinking about the money.
i love that he is genuinely straight but he takes it and gives it from both ends, probably, at times, simultaneously.
Yeah, straight, as in straight to the gay bar.


Christopher Ciccone, on his sister, Madonna, and her, um habit, of dating much younger men:

"I guess if she continues to date all these much younger guys, it could start to look creepy. But I think that a lot of Madonna's emotional needs are met by taking care of her children; these boyfriends must really be like a kind of distraction for her. She certainly isn't following societal values, but then again my sister never has and probably never will either."

Sounds to me like a little green-eyed monster.
Maybe Chris is a little jealous of Madonna's boy toys.

Happy Birthday Jason Mraz

LGBT friendly musician singer Jason Mraz is thirty-three-years-boyishly handsome today. If you have time, check out his thoughtful, and thought-provokiong blog, Freshness Factor Five Thousand.

Hetero And Homo

Honorary gay, Jason Mraz, attended Elton John's 18th annual Oscar Viewing Party in West Hollywood on Sunday night, and arrived with a proposal for Elton.
Not a marriage proposal. Elton's already married, and Jason, while uber gay friendly, is hetero.
No, he wanted to discuss a possible collaboration with Elton John on what he hoped would be an "Ebony and Ivory"-type song about equality for the LGBT community--although it wouldn't be as cheesy as "E&I". Mraz's idea would bring the heterosexual community together with the gay and lesbian community in support of the rights of gays to legally marry. Mraz has long been been a vocal supporter of marriage equality, via his blog, Freshness Factor Five Thousand, and even urged the crowd at a 2008 concert to vote "NO" on Proposition 8.
I hope this comes into being. Between Elton and Jason's passion for the rights of the LGBT community this could be a great thing. But, since we don't have the song yet, let me leave you with a little Jason to whet your appetite.

Wet? Then here's a song, too.

Quote Of The Day: Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz, his blog, Freshness Factor Five Thousand:

As a straight man I really have nothing to gain by standing up for equal rights for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexual, and/or my Transgender friends. Except for the fact that I have many friends who are still subjected to hurtful comments by a society that hasn’t yet embraced fully the nature of… nature.

Supporting a limiting system of rules for specific people to follow is prejudice. It’s the Antithesis of Christ Consciousness and (like smoking) it’s Soooo last century. Allowing love to freely flourish will only enhance the life experience - For All.

Imagine telling cyclists to stay off the road. “These roads are for cars only! Those who dare to pedal on the shoulder will most likely get hit! Drivers will not expect to see you. It will not be the drivers’ fault if you get hurt.”

Yet, by sharing the road, the same rules get to apply to all of us. And surprisingly, we all get somewhere.

No one has to sit at the back of the bus.

A Marriage is a powerful commitment by any two people who are committed to each other’s lives being great. The God that is present in ceremony is looking itself in the eye in the form of the two worthy participants. Their commitment is the divine expression “love loving itself.” Any interference from the outside world be like a bear coming out of the woods and mauling the two lovebirds in front of the entire wedding party, the family and invited guests. Interference is messy and downright rude.

Hosting closed minded thoughts or making lewd comments about the intimate affairs of someone else does not make life great. In fact, it clogs up the judicial system, diminishes entire communities, and turns the clock backwards to our ultimate realization that we are all One - living in harmony with the Earth, with the cosmos, and with great things unseen. Thinking that others are a ‘particular way’ rather than reinventing them as new everyday makes you separate and disconnected from the really easy, peaceful solution.

Life is too short. The age of interfering with someone’s natural rights (and natural born gifts) are over.

Love is too powerful to resist. I think the whole world would be better if we just got out of our own way. It would certainly be sexier.

I understand many people who stumble onto this blog are already dialed in and ready to transform the world. Much of my community is too. But there are some who still don’t care one way or the other about the ways of being in the world. Thereby, it’s up to us to share our positive outlook on our favorite issues.

To learn more about how you can be a part of the Epic Movement for Equal Rights. Visit The Human Rights Campaign at http://www.hrc.org/ and support the True Colors Fund.

This Year I Resolve to Join the Conversation on Equality.

I will Stand Up and be outspoken about Same Sex Marriage and Let Freedom Sing.