A Lawsuit Is Filed To Stop The Bullying Of Destin Holmes

I had my own experiences with being bullied in school; a not-so-whispered fag when I spoke in class — which taught me to stop speaking up; a push in the hallway, a taunt in gym class. I told myself it was just kids; mean kids, to be sure, but those I could avoid. Luckily I didn’t have teachers bullying me because how does a high school kid avoid a bullying teacher unless they just stop going to school altogether.

I first wrote about Destin Holmes back in March — see original post HERE — when the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] stepped in on her behalf with the Moss Point School District after Holmes said she was being consistently bullied by students, teachers and the administration at her school.

Last March, at a news conference, the SPLC said it hoped to work with school officials to stop the bullying of, not only Destin Holmes, but all LGBTQ students and students who were perceived as being gay. But, no agreement was reached and nothing has changed at the school or district, so this week the SPLC decided to sue the Moss Point School District to stop the anti-gay bullying and harassment.

“We are disappointed that the district fails to see the serious harm its deliberate inaction causes its students, District officials who are entrusted with the safety and education of all students not only ignored, dismissed and even blamed victims for the abusive behavior of faculty and other students, they also participated in discriminatory acts."— Anjali Nair, SPLC staff attorney

The lawsuit, filed in federal court, seeks to enforce equal protection of LGBTQ students, and names not only the Moss Point School District, but its school board, Superintendent Maggie Griffin, and Durand Payton, the former principal of Magnolia Middle School as defendants. The SPLC hopes that the district will implement new policies and procedures to help protect the LGBT student population and offer training to students and staff about bullying and LGBT students' rights.

Apparently folks need to be trained not to taunt girls like Destin Holmes for her appearance, because, you know, a girl in a ball cap is a dyke and a dyke needs to be harassed. But her harassment wasn’t just in the halls or the schoolyard, it was also in the classroom; and it wasn’t just the students — whom Destin says are a little more accepting — but it was from the teachers, too.

One day in class, a substitute teacher wrote Destin up for not following directions, and the written referral called her "he;" Holmes said the substitute knew she was female.

But that wasn’t the worst of it. Last March, Destin says she experienced one of the worst cases of bullying, this time by one of her teachers. The teacher had divided the class into 2 teams — boys versus girls — for a trivia game, and she made Destin sit alone in the middle of the classroom because she was an "in-between it."

"I'm not an 'it'. I'm a person, a teenager, a human being."—Destin Holmes

The harassment finally took its toll on Destin and she threatened to commit suicide—just ‘another one’ almost. And her grandmother intervened and went to the school where she says school officials failed to take appropriate action.

When a social worker providing mental health services for Destin met with then-principal Durand Payton about the need to stop the harassment, Payton said he wouldn’t follow the social worker’s suggestions because “when you are in my school, you follow my lead since I allow you to be here.”

Not such a big surprise, because when Destin had gone to Payton with her complaints his response was, "I don't want a dyke in this school."

And so Destin left Magnolia Junior High School last March and was home-schooled until it became too much of a financial burden for her family. She returned to the district, this time at Moss Point High School, but says the harassment continued.

At Moss Point High School, a teacher refused to refer to Destin with feminine pronouns and in front of the class addressed her with male pronouns instead. She maintains that teachers and students called her "it," "queer," "freak," "alien," "dyke" and "he-she," and teachers denied her access to the girls' restroom.

“I deserve to go to school where students, and especially the teachers, don’t always call me names. The district should have protected me and made sure I was learning, like the rest of the kids. Instead, the students, teachers and even principal, called me names. It shouldn’t have happened to me, and it shouldn’t happen to anyone else.”—Destin Holmes

The lawsuit, which asserts the district has violated Destin’s rights under the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution and Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of 1972, also describes anti-LGBT bullying encountered by other district students. These incidents include a transgender student who was attacked and ridiculed, as well as a gay male student assaulted by students because he was open about his orientation.

Jennifer Holmes, Destin's grandmother, says she and her family have tried for over two years to work with the school to make it a safe environment for Destin, but there has been no progress, and, she says, in some cases, administrators made the climate worse for her granddaughter.

"I want her to have the best that life has to offer. That is why we are here today. It is time we all took bullying seriously, whether it comes from adults or children."—Jennifer Holmes

The Moss Point School District and teachers at Moss Point High School aren’t talking, however, claiming they could not address specific claims of the lawsuit since it's in litigation. The administration did release a statement, though, which says, in part:

"Protecting our students from acts of bullying, harassment, intimidation and threats by any individual is our highest priority. The district has in place policies and procedures to ensure that our students are free from discrimination and bullying. We, as most districts across the nation, try to ensure that students in our schools are safe and secure."

Except when the principal is one of the bullies, and the teachers harass LGBTQ students. And how can we expect the students of any school to stop bullying any other student for any other reason when the teachers and administrators are setting the example that bullying is just fine?

"I love it here, but my school experience hasn't been too great. But being bullied because of my appearance and sexual orientation is slowing me down. I wish I could go to school without being afraid to be who I am. I don't want anyone to go through what I've been through."—Destin Holmes

And no one should. How many more young kids are going to end up dead, or run out of school, because they are gay, or perceived to be gay? Or because they’re tall and skinny, or short and fat, or Black, or Latino, or have red hair, or freckles or … or … If the teachers don’t stop the bullying that they are guilty of, then we cannot expect the students to stop either.

The Mississippi Press
SPLC

A Teacher Gives A Class In How To Be A Bully

Bullying is fun. It’s fun to taunt and harass people for their, real or perceived, differences. I mean, c’mon, call out the fat kid; trip the freckled girl. Drive the gay kid to suicide. It’s all in good fun, right? It’s all part of growing up, isn’t it? Don’t we, or haven’t we, all, at one time or another been both the bully and the bullied and then we’ve grown tired of it, and out of it, and moved on and grown up?

Not so much for a school teacher in Moss Point, Mississippi. She was giving a lesson in math class one day when she divided the class into two teams, boys and girls. Destin Holmes, a 16-year-old lesbian, however, was made t sit in the middle of the class alone.

You know, because she’s a lesbian, and therefore not a girl or a boy, or, apparently worthy of respect.

"She told me since she didn't know what I was, I should be on a team of my own."—Destin Holmes

The Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] has gotten involved—as should every single parent, teacher, student, school board member, and every single person in the state—asking that this kind of bullying, from an educator, be stopped at once.

Sadly, though, the epidemic of bullying doesn’t end.  Students and staff have regularly LGBTQ youth, says SPLC attorney Sam Wolfe: "Students face enough obstacles in school without also enduring violence and abuse for simply being different. They are entitled by law to attend school in an environment where they are not singled out and tormented because of their sexual orientation or gender nonconformity." He warned that the district immediately develop a plan to stop this nonsense, or face a federal lawsuit.

And that has me wondering? As an adult, as an educator, do you really need to be threatened with a lawsuit to make you stop bullying LGBTQ students? Is that what it takes? Is there no common sense?

Clifton Magee, Moss Point School District school board President, said a statement would be released, and then district spokesperson Stephanie Packer sent an email out which read: "The Moss Point School District has no comment at this time. This is currently an ongoing investigation."

Destin Holmes, who attended the junior high for 1 semester during the 2011-2012 school year, said she was forced to leave after being tormented by peers and faculty members. And, when she went to the principal to voice her complaints, he said, "I don't want a dyke in this school."

Holmes says that for the first 3 days of school, she was repeatedly referred to as "he" by teachers even though she told them she was a "she." She says teachers and students called her "it," "queer," "freak," "alien," "dyke" and "he-she," and teachers denied her access to the girls' restroom.

"They don't even know me."—Destin Holmes

We have an epidemic in this country of people, and groups, and schools, that think the taunting and harassing and bullying, even the physical violence, of LGBTQ students is just fine. We have an entire generation being tormented by the generation that came before them and has yet to catch up to the rest of the world.

And if we continue to just let this kind of thing happen, without real repercussions to the students who bully, such as removing them from the schools, and the teachers who bully, such as immediate termination, this will only get worse.

Since when is this okay? While we can sometimes, sometimes, forgive a child for bullying because maybe they don’t know any better, there is no excuse for a teacher to behave this way.

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Stacy Dawson Rented A Tux, Asked His Boyfriend, and Filed A Lawsuit .... Just To Be Able To Go To Prom

It started out like this: Stacy Dawson attends high school in the Scott County Central School District in Missouri, and he’s gay. Well, that’s not quite the issue, at least until Stacy asked to bring his boyfriend to the prom, and district officials pointed him toward the district handbook where it states:  "High School students will be permitted to invite one guest, girls invite boys and boys invite girls."

Too bad for Stacy Dawson, and his boyfriend.

"I was really shocked, and it was really depressing," said Dawson. "The school board says since it was in the handbook it could be awhile before it was changed, and I probably would not be able to bring my date."—Stacy Dawson.

Except Stacy wasn’t having it, and he contacted the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] and a staff attorney, Alesdair Ittelson, got involved. Yes, in 2013 America, a young man who wants to bring a boy to the prom has to threaten a lawsuit to do so. 

Ittelson sent a letter to Scott County Central School District Officials requesting them to change the handbook because it "tells LGBT students that they don't deserve the same rights as their heterosexual peers, and that's not right and that's not constitutional" and he gave them until 5 p.m. on February 25, 2013 to change the policy, or face a lawsuit.

So a boy can dance with a boy at a prom.

I understand that there are people who think its offensive, although it isn't; it's dancing. And I know that there are people who say it's against the Bible; it isn't, it's dancing. But, why? Why tell a young man that he has to threaten to sue someone just for the right to bring the person he chooses to prom? Last week we had the story of the school in Indiana that took this kind of discrimination one step further and tried to simply ban The Gays from the prom altogether, or, failing that, have a Straights Only Prom. But to sue, to have to be forced to sue, so you can dance with your boyfriend. This cannot be America in 2013; this cannot still be happening.

And, luckily, it didn't.

After first saying the school board would not revise their homophobic handbook, and, of course, with the threat of a lawsuit aimed at them, the district decided they would, and they could, remove that offensive line from the handbook, although they backtracked somewhat—in an effort to save face, no doubt—and said the line was never meant to be exclusive in the first place.

Alvin McFerren, Scott County Central School District superintendent: "I found out why the stipulation in the student handbook was originally put in there, and it's rather innocent, to be honest. This was during a time 10-15 years ago that the previous administration was having issues with some of the students trying to come in on either the single rate or the couple rate. They implemented that to make sure they couldn't circumvent the rates that students were supposed to pay as they entered into our dances."

Nice try, but then the line might have said 'couples' rather than girls invite boys and boys invite girls. But, I guess that’s neither here nor there, because what matters most, to the LGBT community and its allies, is that Stacy Dawson will be able to dance with his boyfriend at the prom.

See, it’s not that such a big deal after all. I mean, I can see not allowing people who can't dance from attending, but everyone knows The Gays rule the dance floor, and I'm certain Stacy and his boyfriend will show up everyone there.

And everyone, gay and straight, will have a good time.

Teen Can't Bring Date To Prom

Teen Wins Right To Attend Prom With His Boyfriend

Love Used For Hate

Now, I've never been married—though I hope to one day—but I know how personal that day can be for the bride and groom, the bride and bride, the groom and groom. You want everything to be just so, from the venue to the flowers to the music, and especially the pictures. I mean, other than memories, the photographs will be all you have of the ceremony, so they need to be perfect.

Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere wanted their wedding photos to be like that and they got their wish, but then got a little something more. 

It seems that Public Advocate of the United States, a group founded by rabid homophobe, Loudoun County, Virginia, Supervisor, Eugene Delgaudio in 1981, decided to use a photograph of Edwards and Priviter kissing at their wedding in an attack ad against Colorado State Senator Jean White.

And now the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] is suing Public Advocate for misappropriating the photograph. SPLC alleges that Public Advocate of the United States—based in Virginia—misappropriated the likenesses and personalities of Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere—from a picture taken in New York—when it used a photo of the men—superimposed into a snow forest “to imply the photo was taken in Colorado—to attack White. The doctored picture reads “’State Senator Jean White’s idea of Family Values?’”

Tom Privitere: “We are heartbroken that our images may have been seen by gay and lesbian youth in Colorado and were left feeling ashamed of their sexual orientation because of it. We hope that this group is held accountable for its reprehensible and hateful anti-gay attacks.”

SPLC has designated Public Advocate a hate group for its anti-gay rhetoric, and alleges the group caused Edwards and Privitere mental anguish in using their wedding picture, and they have also filed suit on behalf of photographer Kristina Hill, for allegedly using the picture without her permission.

SPLC Deputy Legal Director Christine Sun: “This case is about the defilement of a beautiful moment by a group known for demonizing the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. This was just a cheap way for Public Advocate to avoid having to pay for a stock photo to use in their hateful anti-gay attack ad. It was nothing short of theft.”

Of course, a hate group, founded by a hate-mongering bigot, can’t be bothered with doing things legally, and paying for photographs. But to take a photograph of these two men, on a day they probably once thought they’d never be allowed to celebrate, and using it essentially against them, and all gay couples, is the lowest of low.

But then that’s to be expected of Delgaudio.

via The Washington Blade

Good News Friday#2: SPLC Salutes Students Standing Up For Their Rights

from SPLC:

Another school year down, and so the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] is taking a moment to salute just a few of the students this year who fought the good fight, challenging homophobia and gender discrimination in their schools. 

If it’s true that young people are our future, the future is looking pretty diverse, free and fabulous. We hope you are as inspired to read about them as we at the SPLC have been to work with them.

Kiera and Shay, Davidson High School, Mobile, Alabama
JROTC: Do ask, do tell
For JROTC cadets, the annual military ball is the highlight of the year--very much like the prom but with a heavy dose of military tradition and etiquette. Like any good cadet, Kiera, a graduating senior, went up her chain of command for permission to bring her girlfriend, Shay, who wanted to wear a tuxedo.

Kiera was surprised and disappointed when her commanders told her Shay would be required to wear a dress because that’s what girls wore. One commander also suggested that some students and parents would be so upset at seeing a girl wear a tuxedo that it would be like shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theater. 

Armed with knowledge that a federal court in Mississippi ruled that a lesbian student had the First Amendment right to wear gender non-conforming clothes to a prom, Kiera wrote us for help--just one day before the ball. 

We quickly sent a letter to the school explaining Kiera's and Shay's rights, and the school relented a few hours later.

The Students of Anoka-Hennepin School District
Baby, they were born to survive
When Kyle Rooker sang "Born This Way” to a packed studio audience of the Anderson Cooper show on CNN, it was hard to find a dry eye in the house. 

Kyle and his classmates had just finished describing the years of verbal and physical abuse they had endured because they identify as (or were perceived to be) LGBT. In July 2011, the SPLC and our co-counsel sued the school district for failing to take effective measures against anti-LGBT harassment, and for maintaining its mean-spirited "sexual orientation curriculum policy." 

Our lawsuit--and the bravery of these students--paid off when the district agreed to a five-year consent decree that includes comprehensive training programs for all students, teachers and school officials. The decree also requires the district to enact new policies mandating that all students are entitled to a respectful learning environment. 

As did all the students we represented, Kyle proved definitively, "No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I'm on the right track, baby. I was born to survive."

Sara Couvillon, Hoover High School, Birmingham, Ala.
Free speech? Fine by us
"Gay? Fine by me" seems like a pretty innocuous statement. But when Sara Couvillon, a sophomore, wore her T-shirt proclaiming that sentiment, school officials apparently found the message so distressing they pulled her out of class. 

The officials claimed they were fearful other students would be so enraged by Sara's message they would threaten her safety--even though Sara routinely had worn the same shirt the previous school year with nary a harsh word from her classmates. 

The SPLC explained to the school that the right to freedom of expression doesn't stop at the schoolhouse gates, and later the same afternoon, school officials agreed that Sara could wear her shirt. 

Maybe they finally got the point of her shirt?

Elizabeth Garrett, Brookwood High School, Tuscaloosa, Ala.
Warning: Students have free speech rights 
Earlier this year on a chilly winter day, sophomore Elizabeth Garrett decided to wear her new sweatshirt to school. On the front, the shirt humorously proclaimed, "Warning, This Individual Infected with ‘The Gay.’ Proceed With Caution." 

Elizabeth didn’t expect any trouble, so she was surprised when a school official told her to take it off or be punished. 

With the help of the Alabama Safe Schools Coalition, we told Elizabeth's school that students have a First Amendment right to peacefully express their support for LGBT people. 

The school responded with a statement affirming Elizabeth’s right to wear her sweatshirt and free speech rights for all students at school.

Hunter Mahaffey, Hueytown High School, Birmingham, Ala.
Studly behavior
One Friday after school, junior Hunter Mahaffey went to the mall to get his ears pierced and fitted with small, metal stud earrings. He didn't think it would be a big deal; after all, plenty of students at school wear jewelry. 

That Monday, though, school officials ordered him to take out the studs, citing a policy that says only girls can wear earrings. 

To Hunter, the rule sounded as silly--and as discriminatory--as mandating that only girls could wear the color pink. 

On Hunter's behalf, we explained that the school's policy reflects unlawful sex stereotyping about males and females and that we will file a lawsuit unless the district changes its policy. 

The district has until June 15 to respond.

Isabella Nuzzo, Hardin County High School, Savannah, Tenn.
Worth a parade
Savannah, a small town in Tennessee, lies between Florence, Alabama, and Jackson, Tennessee, and it's definitely not on the gay pride parade circuit. 

Isabella Nuzzo, a senior, and her friends wanted to change that. They organized a Week of Pride at school, during which students could peacefully express their support for LGBT rights through slogans and gay pride symbols, such as rainbows. 

Isabella, who is not gay, made a shirt that said, "Gay Pride. Speak Up, Speak Out, Be Proud." 

An assistant principal quickly put the brakes on the festivities, citing a school policy against speech that "promotes" or "advertises" sex. (As if rainbows equal sex). 

On Isabella's behalf, the SPLC demanded that school officials stop censoring students or face a federal lawsuit. 

The district has until June 12 to respond.

In Tennessee, Pro-LGBT Clothing Gets You Threatened With Suspension

We've all heard the stories about the LGBTQ students who are sent home from school for wearing pro-LGBT clothing; t-shirts with sayings, high heels, that kinda 'gay' stuff. But at Hardin County High School--in Tennessee, wouldn't you know--the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] has come forward to represent a student who said her friends were threatened with punishment for wearing apparel adorned with slogans supportive of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. 

That student, Isabella Nuzzo, a Junior at the school, said she isn't gay, and she herself was not threatened, but her friends often wear shirts emblazoned with support for equal rights for LGBT people. And that didn't sit well with at least one school official.

Although Nuzzo, 17, did not name that school official, the letter sent from the SPLC said Assistant Principal Ryan Miller was the official who reprimanded Nuzzo and her friends. He apparently told the students their clothing, and the slogans, were advertising or promoting sex.

Sam Wolfe, an SPLC staff attorney, is representing the group because those sexual advertisements included phrases like  “Lesbian and Proud.” Doesn't sound like a sex ad, eh?

“Isabella would wish to wear (similar LGBT supportive apparel) in the future,” Wolfe said. "But now she would expect to get in trouble for expressing the same types of messages she would like to display.”

He called the apparel in line with the students’ First Amendment rights of expression, which he said the school violated by not allowing them to wear LGBT-supportive apparel. The SPLC letter demanded that school officials “take meaningful action to remedy the violations,” or face a federal lawsuit on behalf of Nuzzo.

Wolfe said the SPLC chose to represent Nuzzo after an incident on April 20, the “Day of Silence,” a national day of awareness to the harassment and bullying against LGBT youth. Assistant Principal Ryan Miller apparently told a student, wearing a 'Lesbian and Proud' t-shirt, that she turn the shirt inside out or face suspension.

Isabella Nuzzo and her friends heard about the incident and decided to organize a “Week of Pride” to protest the assistant principal’s actions, and the following Monday nearly half of the student population wore LGBT-supportive clothing. 

But, also, half the school was against the celebration, In fact, Nuzzo said that during one of the class breaks that week about half the school’s students gathered in a hallway and prayed for their other classmates, saying they would “pray the gay away.”

The SPLC letter also said that Miller “instructed students to immediately terminate the Week of Pride and to stop expressing support of LGBT people or face discipline such as suspension, class failure and disqualification from graduation.” 

For being gay friendly. 

But, it's Tennessee, where they try to get teachers not to say 'Gay' so........

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