The Funny Papers

JD Crowe, Drew Sheneman, Ann Telnaes, Phil Hands, Barry Blitt, Gary Huck, Adam Zyglis, RJ Matson, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Guy Parsons, Clay Bennett

Vote Blue. Here's Another Slew of Reasons Why

Here we are again, with a wee taste of the lunacy, racism, criminality, and bigotry and hate inside the GOP and it’s going around the country …

LOUISIANA

A newly proposed GOP bill would categorize mifepristone and misoprostol—the drugs used to induce an abortion—as controlled dangerous substances, threatening incarceration and fines if an individual possesses the pills without a valid prescription or outside of professional practice.

Legislators in Baton Rouge added the provision as a last-minute amendment to a Senate bill that would criminalize an abortion if someone gives a pregnant woman the pills without her consent, a scenario of “coerced criminal abortion.”

GEORGIA

The state’s  Republican Party has removed Brian Pritchard, its first vice chairman, after an administrative law judge found he voted illegally nine times after moving to the state.

Every accusation by a Republican is an admission.

WEST VIRGINIA

Leading up to last week’s primary, Attorney General Patrick Morrisey, Chris Miller and Moore Capito, three of the GOP candidates for governor have been trying to outdo each other in proving their opposition to transgender rights.

The three transphobic bigots have been accusing each other of harboring transgender sympathies while touting their own efforts to restrict LGBTQ rights.

Bragging about who hates trans people more; that’s the GOP.

WASHINGTON DC

The House has passed a bill making it more difficult for the Energy Department to enact energy efficiency rules for household appliances; the vote was 212-195.

You know the GOP thinks anything related to better energy efficiency is a slippery slope to a Green New Deal and they won’t have it … until the planet starts to die and they start screaming.

NEW YORK

A measure that would codify abortion rights in the New York constitution, as well as other equal rights, was tossed off the ballot last week by a conservative judge in upstate Livingston County rejected the measure in a court ruling, questioning the legality of the ballot question.

Well, maybe abortion rights won’t be “officially” on the ballot, but the GOP’s attempt to deny a vote certainly will be.

CASTA  GODDAMNED VOTE, New York!

OHIO

In 2015, Ohio GOP Senate candidate Bernie Moreno used taxpayer dollars to shut down local roads so he could take a joy ride in an Aston Martin car that he purchased for $2.3 million.

Video shows at least three police cars blocking traffic in North Olmsted so Moreno could privately use the roads in his luxury Aston Martin Vulcan, which his dealership would later list for $3.4 million.

In a separate video from 2016, Moreno admits that he had the vehicle shipped to the United States in parts to avoid Environmental Protection Agency emissions restrictions on foreign vehicle imports.

The rules don’t apply to the GOP, apparently.

ARIZONA

State Senator Anthony Kern is no longer allowed to access legislative broadcast equipment after the Arizona Mirror reported on May 3 that he used the Senate’s broadcast studio to appear on a far-right talk show last week with a host who has declared Adolf Hitler a “hero.”

Kern appeared on ”The Stew Peters Show” to discuss a Drag Story Hour that was hosted the day before in a basement meeting room in the Arizona House and Kern joined the show live on video from the Arizona Senate studio.

Peters praised Kern and made the false claim that the drag event in the House included children—none were present—calling the drag king that spoke to the small group a “mentally ill satanic pedophile.” The event did not include children.

WASHINGTON DC

The House Judiciary Committee plans to prepare a resolution to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt of Congress for refusing to hand over the audio of President Joe Biden’s interview with former special counsel Robert Hur.

The DOJ provided the committees conducting the impeachment inquiry into Biden a full transcript of his interview and said Republicans haven’t explained why the audio is necessary, accusing them of seeking investigative material to “serve political purposes that should have no role in the treatment of law enforcement files.”

It's all a show for the House GOP who have accomplished nothing for We The People in the last two years.

FLORIDA

The state will eliminate climate change as a priority in making energy policy decisions, despite the threats it faces from powerful hurricanes, extreme heat and worsening toxic algae blooms.

GOP Governor Ron De GogoBoots signed the legislation, which is set to go into effect on July 1. The measure also removes most references to climate change in state law, bans offshore wind turbines in state waters and weakens regulations on natural gas pipelines.

Of note, the state is experiencing some of the highest temperatures ever recorded there—it was 107 in Miami this weekend—and South Beach streets flood almost daily with high tides.

But the words “Climate Change” cannot be said.

Also In Florida … the Governor has declared that there will be no Pride Month Rainbow lights on bridges.

Bridges across Florida, including the Sunshine Skyway and Ringling Causeway, will not gleam in rainbow colors this June in celebration of LGBTQ Pride Month but instead plans are in place to adorn Florida bridges in red, white and blue lighting between May 27 and September 2 as a part of the 2024 Florida Freedom Summer effort.

Florida Freedom does not apply to the LGBTQ+ community in Ronnie’s mind.

GOOD NEWS

WASHINGTON DC

After House Speaker, and Christian Nationalist, Mike Johnson’s appearance at Hair Furor’s criminal trial Democrats are saying the next time his own party comes for him and tries to remove him from office, the only assistance he’ll get from Democrats is when they help him pack.

Johnson called the legal proceedings a “sham of a trial,” adding:

“They are doing this intentionally to keep him here and keep him off of the campaign trail. And I think everybody in the country can see that for what it is.”

No, Mike, only the goose-stepping, Party Over Country GOP can see that kind of crazy.

ALABAMA

A bill that would have expanded the state’s “Don’t Say Gay” law died on the final day of the 2024 regular session.

The bill, sponsored by Republican Mack Butler would have extended Alabama’s prohibition on discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity from kindergarten to fifth grade to kindergarten to eighth grade. It also would have banned flags or other insignia indicating gender identity or sexual orientation.

Butler vows to bring the bill back next year saying he has not met any parents who want the topics discussed in schools and claimed that “there is a move across this nation to sexualize our children.”

And that’s just a small taste of GOP lunacy ... anti-women’s rights, voter fraud, anti-transgender hate, climate change deniers, anti-abortion rights, self-entitled one percenters, anti-drag but pro-Hitler, Hair Furor minions, anti-LGBTQ+ Pride, and more.

So what do we do if we want more Good News? We ...

The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Ben Jennings, Walt Handelsman, Marc Murphy, Kevin Siers, Mike Luckovich, Bill Bramhall, Clay Bennett, Mike Thompson, Ann Telnaes, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder, Steve Lillie,

uesday Thought #2

 

Tuesday Thought #2

Just A Thought

Obama To Cut Funding For ‘Abstinence-Only’ Sex Education

As we’ve seen in the last few months, with this being his last year in office, President Obama has no f**ks left to give and he is showing the GOP his middle finger at every turn …

He has just announced that his 2017 budget proposal eliminates a $10 million-a-year grant program for abstinence-only education.

Ten million for absitince-only programs? As someone who lives in South Carolina and has seen, and continues to see, more than my share of pregnant high school girls, we know that abstince only programs do not work.

Knowledge is power. But Obama’s budget not only eradicates abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education funding, it also increases funds for the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program, maintains funding for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Division of Adolescent and School Health, and calls for a five-year extension of the Personal Responsibility Education Program.

Knowledge is power. And so I say, “Good on Obama” for arming young girls with the knowledge that, sure, while abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid getting pregnant or avoid STDS and HIV and such, there are some girls who do have sex and who need to know their other options, such as birth control, for both themselves and their partners.

It’s smart; it’s sensible; it’s completely Obama.

But, best of all, and this is just me being all shallow and stuff, is that knowledge that somewhere in Wasilla, Alaska, in a house littered with booze and guns and animals pelts, Blister Palin, single mother to two children from two different Baby Daddy’s, is lying on a bed, her mother, the Mama Grizzly Bore™, applying cold compresses to her forehead, is moaning:

“How will I make a living now if I can’t talk about how abstinence only is the best policy?”

Patheos

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Bill Cassidy

Not many people know the name of Bill Cassidy, a Republican state Senator from Louisiana, but here’s a little background on the man.

Cassidy, like Mama Grizzly Bore™ before him,  is one of those “abstinence-only” crusaders who, just last year, co-sponsored the Abstinence-Only Reallocation Act that awards grants and special funding to public and private schools that teach only abstinence in their sex education programs. The bill was authored by, oh lucky me, South Carolina’s resident Republican loon, er, Senator Lindsey Graham and has been tabled in Congress though teenagers in Louisiana aren’t in the clear.

Despite efforts by some legislators and educators to discuss sexual behavior, birth control, condoms, and the like in schools, Louisiana is one of the leading abstinence-only promoters in the country. In about 305 of schools in the state, students are taught exclusively abstinence. No safe sex. No birth control. Nothing but “Don’t do it.”

And, since most teenagers don’t listen to their parents, or some of their teachers, it should come as no surprise that Louisiana currently has the 6th highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation; in fact, while most of the country has seen major declines in teen births, Louisiana’s has hardly changed.

So, why does this make Bill Cassidy an asshat? His own daughter, in her teens, is pregnant and, well, of course, Bill wants y’all to know that he’s just fine with it:

“Earlier this year, Laura and I learned we will become grandparents this summer. Our children have been the greatest blessing of our lives and we welcome our grandchild as a joyous addition to our family. Our daughter now faces a more challenging future than her peers. She has our unconditional love and support.”

How lovely that Bill Cassidy and his wife will support their daughter, um, because they have to support her; she’s a pregnant minor so, yeah, it’s their responsibility just like teaching her that abstinence is the only way to go.

And doesn’t it just smack of the Mama Grizzly Bore™ and her abstinence-only stance, even while her seventeen-year-old daughter Bristol was banging Levi?

I mean, here we have the post politicians for abstinence who can’t bother to instill that lesson into their own children, but they want to legislate it into law that you have to do it for your children.

Pot.Kettle.STFU.

Bill Cassidy, ISBL's Asshat of the Week.

Sidenote: Yes, abstinence is the only 100$ surefire way to avoid teen pregnancy, and STDs and HIV and all sorts of things, but it’s clear that many teens, and adults, aren’t adhering to that ideal, so wouldn’t it be best to arm them with knowledge about sexual behavior? Or is that too much common sense for the GOP and Bill Cassidy and Mama Grizzly Bore™?

source

#JoinTheDissent

via The Advocate