I Didn't Say It ...

Sam Heughan, the Hot Ginger from Outlander, on rumors that he’s gay, and on why he’s played so many gay characters throughout his career:

“Yeah, I guess. I played a few gay parts and maybe people might make assumptions about me. I mean, it’s not true, but I don’t really care. I think, whatever, if that’s what you’re gonna pick out from someone’s performance.”

Still, a boy, or in my case, a grown-assed man, can dream about a gay Sam Heughan.

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Shepard Smith, Fox news host, calling out _____ and the White House for banning a journalist because she asked a question they didn’t like:

“For those of you at home, if I may, journalists are not the enemies of the people. It’s quite the opposite. Our profession is enshrined in the Constitution and the fourth estate holds the essential job of being your eyes and often ears and, when appropriate, your voice. It’s a cornerstone of our republic. Over 22 years at this network, it’s been my experience that the journalists of Fox News and Fox Business and those of our colleagues at competitors at CNN and MSNBC, NBC, ABC and CBS, Bloomberg and PBS, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Post, The Washington Post—all of them operate in the public interests. We work to discern what is truth. Then to present it to you in context and with perspective. As your representatives in the people’s halls, we report to you without fear or favor while striving to hold those in power to the same standards. This is the foundation of what we do.”

Until we got a president who lies and lies and commits adultery and works with murderers and loves racists and hates immigrant children.

Then the press becomes the enemy because they seek the truth form the horde of liars.

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Grant Stinchfield, NRA TV host, saying no one cares how bad _____ is because America is “on track again”:

 “This is a president who said, remember, grab them by the, by the P. Caught on tape saying that. He says he’s going to walk down on Fifth avenue and shoot somebody in the head and he’d get away with it. He’s got the Stormy Daniels thing, and you know what? Nobody gives a rat’s ass about any of it. The reason being is, America is finally on track again. And so we are doing great things being led by this president, nobody cares about all of that stuff. It’s like Donald _____ was covered in mud coming into all of this. You throw more mud on him, it doesn’t make a difference. But if he had a white dress on, you throw one piece of mud, it ruins the whole dress. Donald _____ was already covered in mud, it doesn’t matter.”

No, asshat, it does matter, but not to cowards like the NRA and the GOP who goosestep along with a hate-filled liar thief and cheat.

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Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, on James Comey’s wish for people to vote Democratic, but not too far left Democratic:

“Really, James Comey? You’re worried the Democrats are going to move too far to the left? Really? I don’t know if you remember, but we were just about to have a nice, boring, moderate Democrat for a president until you decided to open your mouth a week before the election, you big, dumb scarecrow.”

Snap.

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Eric Church, country singer who appeared at that music festival in Las Vegas last year where dozens of people were shot to death, slamming the NRA for doing nothing:

"Something broke in me that night, and it still hasn't healed. There are some things we can’t stop, like the disgruntled kid who takes his dad’s shotgun and walks into a high school. But we could have stopped the guy in Vegas. I’m a Second Amendment guy. That’s in the Constitution, it’s people’s right, and I don’t believe it’s negotiable. But nobody should have that many guns and that much ammunition and we don’t know about it. Nobody should have 21 AKs and 10,000 rounds of ammunition and we don’t know who they are. [And the NRA has] been a bit of a roadblock. I don’t care who you are—you shouldn’t have that kind of power over elected officials. To me it’s cut-and-dried: The gun-show [loophole] would not exist if it weren’t for the NRA, so at this point in time, if I was an NRA member, I would think I had more of a problem than the solution.”

I semi agree with him, except you could stop a disgruntled teen from getting his daddy’s gun if daddy locked it up and didn’t give out the key the gun safe.

And he’s right about the NRA and politicians the GOP. They’re both guilty of mass murder in this country and when they get voted out or shut down, I may send my thoughts and prayers.

Oh, who’s kidding. F**k ‘em all.

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Anderson Cooper, on _____ lawyer Rudy Giuliani who has flip-flopped badly on Michael Cohen:

“‘Lying for years,’ [Giuliani] says, which is strange because that means Michael Cohen must have been no less a liar when Rudy Giuliani was praising him for not being a liar. So was Mr. Giuliani lying in that clip you just heard or lying in this one from just a couple of months ago? … It’s confusing, to say the least. The honest honorable lawyer has also been deeply dishonest for years, or at least this week. Maybe it’s like truthful hyperbole or something. Or maybe like so much else these days is yet another thing that would be funny if it weren’t so serious.”

Just say Rudy Giuliani is a liar and leave it at that. And then add _____, Huckleberry, Kellyanne and that whole motley crew to the list of liars, too.

PS Swoon.

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Sylvester Turner, mayor of Houston, responding to an anti-LGBTQ group’s criticism over his appearance at Houston Pride:

“This is the most diverse city in America. We acknowledge and celebrate that diversity in all its dimensions. You can be diverse and yet separate, segregated and apart. As Mayor of this City, I want us to be diverse and inclusive, and I want to live in a City where people can be who they are and we can be tolerant of people’s opinions, ideologies, sexual orientation, ethnicities, religion and/or cultures.”

As it should be.

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Bradley Kim, Air Force defensive back, becoming the first active football player in the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines to come out as gay:

“I did not think this day would ever come, but I’ve finally reached the point where I am comfortable and confident enough with myself to say that I am gay. It’s been a long road to get to this point and I definitely would not be here without the love and support of my amazing family, teammates and coaches here at the academy, and my equally amazing friends. I feel blessed to have such receptive and understanding people in my life. I hope that I can serve as an example to those who are allowing their fear of acceptance to change who they are. I almost gave up my dream of playing division 1 football for fear of not being accepted by everyone, but today I am happy to say that I am a cadet at the Air Force Academy playing the sport I love with amazing people standing behind me and supporting me. If anyone feels like they don’t have a voice or feel like they are alone, just know there are plenty of people out there like you and me, and more that are willing to talk to you about it. God bless all and thank you to everyone who has made me feel comfortable to live my most genuine life.”

Welcome out, and please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of the Gay Agenda.

Good luck, Bradley, thanks for lighting the way, and welcome out.

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It's Snarkurday!

Did we learn nothing from Being Bobby Brown? That ratchet show destroyed what was left of Whitney Houston, so why would anyone, least of a diva like Mariah Carey, want to do a reality show?

But she is; Mimi is shooting a show for E! — the same channel that infected us with Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes and I Am Cait­ — that will follow her as she is wheeled around Vegas to do her casino show, and then follow her on her European tour.

Currently, the working title is Mariah’s Squad, or, as I see her being wheeled around like a corpse, Mariah’s Squat.

Well, it looks like the days of Madonna giving her son Rocco a little space lasted about … a day.

While Rocco and Guy Ritchie were in a London court to continue the custody fight, Madonna was performing for a private crowd in Melbourne. The invite-only show was supposed to start at 10:30PM, but it didn’t start until after 1AM perhaps because Madge was, literally, busy applying clown make-up so she could sing a bunch of songs she never sings, ride around on a tricycle, and perform Send In The Clowns in front of a giant picture of Rocco … something Rocco has begged her to stop doing.

Next up she’ll be channeling Baby Jane Hudson and doing her rendition of I’ve Written A Letter To Rocco. Or maybe she’ll just crash and burn.

In the Whoever Came Up With This Idea Deserves To Be Fired file: Lindsay Lohan is a guest editor at the London newspaper, The Sun. Calm yourselves, I know what you’re thinking: Lohan can write?

In her first of what is sure to be one article for The Sun, Lindsay Lohan wrote about how she almost banged Harry Styles. Lohan says that early one morning in 2012, there was a knock on her hotel room door and when she opened it, Harry Styles was there, asking if he could um, er, schtup her … fulfilling another day of her paid escort title:

“I didn’t know it was him. He was in a suit. I said, ‘Well, you’re very good-looking – can I help you?’ That was it. He was like, ‘I’m Harry. Gavin and Michael sent me here.’ I was in bed. I was like, ‘I’m going to bed but it was nice to meet you.’ It was 2am, I had just come back from an AA meeting. I looked like shit too. I was wearing a big hotel robe, I had a slip under it. It was not a good look. It didn’t click who he was at the time.”

First off, Lindsay Lohan turning down anonymous sex with a stranger knocking on her door at 2AM is like Oprah saying, “No, no more cookies for me.”

Lohan says she met Harry again at a party in L.A. and he said that he knocked on her door at because some friends dared him to.

“C’mon, Harry, bang her. She’ll do it, all you gotta do is ask.”

The funny thing is this sounds eerily close to a story that that other Hollywood whore-let, James Franco, says about the time Lindsay Lohan appeared in his hotel room at 2AM to, um, er, schtup.

Lindsay Lohan, plagiarist … and whore.

Meanwhile, back at Madonna onstage at that private show in Melbourne … where she guzzled from a flask and called Guy Ritchie a “son of a bitch” and then begged someone in the crowd, anyone, to “f**k her”:

“Someone please take care of me, please. Who is going to take care of me?”

Where’s Harry Styles now? Or Lohan for that matter?

Sally Field. Two-time Oscar winner and expert at dumping people. Who knew?

Sally was on Watch What Happens Live and during a game of Plead the Fifth she admitted she faked her way out of dating Johnny Carson. After Andy Cohen asked Field to describe the relationship — she dubbed it, “The Octopus And The Reluctant Little Guppy” — he took the bait … see what I did there? … and asked if that meant Carson was all hands. Sally nodded and then told how she was able to end the relationship:

“I was never a person who knew how to say no to people. When it came down to things, I said, ‘Yeahhh!’ Ultimately the only way I could get out of many things was to tell people I had lost my mind. I told him … I was having a breakdown and being sent away. I couldn’t figure out how just to say I’m really am just not into this. I just said, ‘I’m so sorry. I have to go away. They’re putting me in a home.'”

Brava, Sally; you took that Sybil character and brought her to life to get out of dating Johnny Carson. I like you. Right now, I really like you.

California is still suffering from a drought but don’t tell that to celebrities because they need more water than regular folks … it takes a whole lotta H2O to keep a movie star lawn green, and a movie star pool filled, and a movie star hair clean of LA smog … even if they pay a fine to get it.

California put its cities on a water diet by forcing cutbacks by as much as 35%, though the folks in 90210 only had to reduce their usage by 32%. But they failed at that so state water officials fined the city and now they are Water Shaming celebrities.

Beverly Hills officials sent warning letters to their biggest water wasters, including David Geffen, director Brett Ratner, Will & Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick and … wait for it … who knew … Amy Poehler.

For two months last summer, David Geffen’s estate used an average of 27,000 gallons of water a day — sixty times what the average LA family uses — and he was fined $30,000 for it, while Ratner and Mutchnick took the “It’s a leaky pipe” plea when they were publicly shamed.

But Amy Poehler rolls like Geffen, and her family used 170,000 gallons of water in two months, for which she was fined more than $20,000.

Look, celebrities aren’t regular people, and they shouldn’t be treated like us; if Poehler and Geffen and Ratner and Mutchnick wanna fill their homes with water and swim nekkid in it all day we should just be happy they’re being kept alive to keep us entertained … while we die of thirst.

More Madge? Well, the stories of her messiness on tour are growing, with the press and her fans complaining about shows starting late and Madonna appearing drunk and disorderly onstage, swilling tequila onstage, falling off tricycles, begging someone to f**k her.

But Madge is fighting back, saying all these stories are bulls**t because any time a fan or a newspaper criticizes her it’s sexism and misogyny:

“Thanks for supporting me. Too bad people don't know the art of acting and playing a character. I could never do any of my shows high or drunk. And yes underlying all of this is sexism and mysongony [sic] which proves that not only do we not get equal pay but we are still treated like heretics if we step out of line and think outside the box!  Sexism is alive and kicking but i am ❤#livingforlove”

Madonna can’t spell misogyny so she was either drunk when she wrote that, or just dumb. But what pisses me off is that every time anyone criticizes her, Madonna plays the Sexism and Misogyny Cards when, in fact, the criticism is because she’s self-indulgent, egotistical, and only cares about herself … not her fans.

Ageism is alive and well in Hollywood and it’s all kinds of crazy …

About a year ago, 38-year-old Maggie Gyllenhaal was told that she was “too old” to play the love interest of a 55-year-old man, and now Olivia Wilde is saying that she auditioned for, and did not get the part, of Leonardo DiCaprio’s wife in The Wolf of Wall Street because she was “too old” to be Leo’s on-screen wife.

Wilde was 28 went she auditioned to play the wife of 38-year-old Leo, so the role went to 21-year-old Margot Robbie. Wilde says she was told she was “too sophisticated” for the part, but knows that in Hollywood-speak that means “too old.”

Look, we all know Leo likes ‘em young off-screen, but, sheesh, does he have to marry high school girls on film, too?

And, since she’s all over the news with her antics, let’s end with More Madonna: she showed up two hours late for another concert last week and she blamed it on … her fans:

“You were here too early. You should have taken your time doing your hair and make-up, then I wouldn’t have been late.”

In addition, the show, which started late, ended early because local trains in Brisbane stop running at 1AM so the arena needed to be cleared out.

Thanks Madonna! Too bad she was ALLEGEDLY too drunk to ride her tricycle because maybe she could have given some fans a lift home.

Random Musings

I’ve said it before: I am an Awards Show Whore™. I love ‘em all—well, for the most part … I think there are far too many country music awards and the Kid’s Choice? Oh honey, no—but I love a good show and a good host; or hosts.

And so this is why I was rolling out the red carpet to the news that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler — who killed at The Golden Globes last year — will be back hosting in 2014 and again in 2015.

I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl!

Ted Nugent, faded rock star, gun nut, Teabagger and serial baby-maker has said he might run for President.

His own proposed campaign slogan — and this is real y’all … it came straight from Nugent’s ever-running piehole: 

“Hi, I’m Ted Nugent. I have nine children from seven women and I’m running for president.”

He really just ought to run for sperm donor. On second thought …. Ick.

Greg Louganis traded his Olympic Gold Medals for a band of gold.

He’s married. Greg married his partner, the adorably hot Johnny Chaillot last week in Malibu:

"It was amazing because I have so many people from all facets of my life here tonight and they are all here and celebrating it is all wonderful, I already feel different. The ceremony was so reflective and representative of who we are." 

The two men — and it’s still a rush to say “the two men” when speaking of newlyweds — are asking for donations to charities like the Human Rights Campaign and Mending Kids International, in lieu of a traditional wedding registry:

"We are both in our mid fifties and don't need another blender so we really wanted to give back."—Johnny Chaillot 

Congrats to the happy, cute couple.

I loves me some Nashville, even before they added the closeted gay country star played by hottie-in-tight-jeans Chris Carmack.

That show really plays to its gay audience with some of the hottest men around, like …

Michiel Huisman , who plays Liam, the renegade record producer and Rayna’s new love interest, and blond beauty Charlie Bewley, who joined the show last week as Juliette’s new love interest.

I’m also interested.

In other same-sex wedding news …

Indiana's first openly gay countywide official, Zach Adamson, will be making history once more by marrying his longtime partner Christian Mosburg in Washington D.C. this week.

"It's important that people see this doesn't have to be the wedge issue or the divisive issue that it is often portrayed as. We are just doing what other people do."—Zach Adamson

He added that the positive reception he and Christian have received as an engaged, same-sex couple “speaks to how far we've come."

We’ve still got a way to go, but each couple that married breaks down the walls.

Congrats.

What’s this, North Dakota? You now have a tax form for married same-sex couples even though you don’t recognize such marriages?

Well, since the IRS announced in August that it would allow same-sex couples to file as married couples if they were legally married in a state that allows such marriages, even if they live in a state that doesn’t, North Dakota saw that as a problem.

But Lorie Bowker, of the North Dakota tax department, says the answer lies in a new form: ND-1S, which allows for the divvying up a couple’s federal tax filing so they can file as individuals in North Dakota.

Bowker said, like the federal government, there is a “marriage penalty” built into the North Dakota tax code, so filing as individuals could be beneficial to same-sex couples who would then save on their tax debt.

All well and good, but some advocates for same-sex marriage say the discrepancy between federal and state tax filings could be grounds for lawsuits based on the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution.

And that would mean … channeling Oprah … Everyone gets a marriage. You get a marriage! And you get a marriage!

So, the new TV season is basically in full swing, although I am awaiting the return of Grimm ­— with the delicious David Giuntoli — and the start of Dracula — with the oozing with sex appeal Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Loving:  AHS: Coven.
Also loving: The Crazy Ones, especially the adorable, and funny, James Wolk.

Liking ... for now: Sean Saves The World.

Beginning to loathe: Trophy Wife and Hostages

Annoyed: It took three weeks to bring Brody back to Homeland, and then when the episode aired it was dull, dull, and dull.

And you? What do you love, like or loathe?

File this under It’s About Freakin’ Time:

The Harvey Milk Foundation has announced that the United States Postal Service will issue a stamp in honor of LGBT political icon Harvey Milk.

This makes Harvey Milk, who made history as the first openly gay man to win political office in California when he was elected to San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors in 1977, the first openly LGBT official ever featured on U.S. postage.

“Harvey Milk’s legacy is alive and well. His historic run paved the way for a new generation of LGBT leaders who can be open and honest about who they are, and it’s encouraging to see the U.S. Postal Service honoring his legacy of perseverance and pride today.”— Chuck Wolfe, President and CEO of the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund and Institute

The stamp is expected to be introduced in 2014, and though I rarely snail mail any more, you can bet I’ll be lignin up for the stamps and whatever else I can get.

It’s about time an LGBT icon and hero was recognized.

The Houston Chronicle has come out and apologized for endorsing Ted Cruz for political office in light of Cruz’s recent descent into egomaniacal insanity:

Does anyone else miss Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison? We're not sure how much difference one person could make in the toxic, chaotic, hyperpartisan atmosphere in Washington, but if we could choose just one it would be Hutchison, whose years of service in the Senate were marked by two things sorely lacking in her successor, Ted Cruz. When we endorsed Ted Cruz in last November's general election, we did so with many reservations and at least one specific recommendation - that he follow Hutchison's example in his conduct as a senator. Obviously, he has not done so. Cruz has been part of the problem in specific situations where Hutchison would have been part of the solution. We feel certain she would have worked shoulder to shoulder with Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, in crafting a workable solution that likely would have avoided the government shutdown altogether. But we'll never know.

Suh-nap!

Random Musings

When some folks put their foot in their mouths, they really put their foot in it.

Celeste Greig, of the conservative California Republican Assembly, a GOP volunteer organization that Ronald Reagan coincidentally once called "the conscience of the Republican Party" was criticizing those months old controversial comments about rape and pregnancy made by former Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, when she decided to throw in her two-cents.

Celeste Greig: "That was an insensitive remark. I'm sure he regretted it. He should have come back and apologized. …  Granted, the percentage of pregnancies due to rape is small because it's an act of violence, because the body is traumatized. I don't know what percentage of pregnancies are due to the violence of rape. Because of the trauma the body goes through, I don't know what percentage of pregnancy results from the act." 

So, it isn’t superhero female hormones that can’t fight off Rapist Sperm, it’s the trauma of the rape that fights off Rapist Sperm.

The GOP, rebranding itself as the same old GOP.

In case you’d forgotten, the American Family Association [AFA] is still pissed off at Home Depot for being LGBT-friendly. In their latest press release:

The Home Depot just gave $8,500 to the Atlanta chapter of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) as a "Silver" sponsor of the Atlanta Gala Dinner and Auction in May.  HRC is the nation's largest and most aggressive gay marriage advocacy group, leading the charge to the Supreme Court against California's constitutional amendment protecting marriage as between one man and one woman.  Customers who shop at Home Depot should know that a portion of their purchase will be used to help push the legalization and promotion of homosexual marriage in America. AFA is promoting a boycott of Home Depot until it agrees to remain neutral in the homosexual culture war.

In related news, since the AFA launched this boycott a couple of years ago, Home Depot's stock value has just about tripled. 

Thanks AFA! Doing your part to boost the economy by helping pro-LGBT businesses boom!

Train, which apparently is some rock band from San Francisco—I’m assuming they’ve had at least one hit—has bowed out of the Boy Scouts Jamboree following pressure from GLAAD, Eagle Scout Derek Nance, and over 3,000 people who signed a Change.org petition to do so. In fact, Train took to their website to break the news:

When we booked this show for the Boy Scouts of America we were not aware of any policy barring openly gay people from participation within the organization. Train strongly opposes any kind of policy that questions the equality of any American citizen. We have always seen the BSA as a great and noble organization. We look forward to participating in the Jamboree this summer, as long as they make the right decision before then.

Carly Rae Jepsen was also scheduled to perform and she dropped out as well, Tweeting her reason: 

As an artist who believes in equality for all people, I will not be participating in the Boy Scouts of America Jamboree this summer ....

Nice to see people putting their words to action. When and if, the BSA decides to be inclusive and not homophobic, I’m betting Train and Jepsen will be the first to sign up and perform.

Say it isn’t so …. The upcoming eighth season of Dexter will be the final season in the series.

It all came about when CBS president and CEO Les Moonves referred to the new season of the series as its “last.”

There are some who say the show had run its course, but they’re idiots.

I’m’a miss me some Dexter.

Speaking of great TV shows, we learned this week that Valerie Harper--that's the real Valerie on the right, and Valerie as Tallulah Bankhead in a one-woman show on the right--AKA Rhoda Morgenstern of The Mary Tyler Moore Show has inoperable brain cancer and just a few months to live.

I loved her on Mary; the wisecracking best friend. I mean, that’s the role I was born to play. But what I’ve loved about Valerie Harper all these years is the dignity with which she lives her life. While she sat for an interview with People to discuss her cancer, it wasn’t a pity party at all. It was a story about living for today, because, sadly, you don’t always get a tomorrow.

This isn't Harper's first bout with cancer, however; she was previously diagnosed with lung cancer in 2009, despite being a life-long non-smoker.  After surgery successfully removed the tumor, she spoke about her status as a cancer survivor, saying, "I'm of the thinking that we're all terminal; no one is getting out of this alive. So you shouldn't start sitting Shiva before it’s time. Live the best life you can. Be as healthy as possible."

Now, facing a far too shortened life, she says, "I don't think of dying. I think of being here now."

Lesson learned, Valerie, and thanks for making us laugh, and cry, and think, for all these years.

Last week I posted a story about the two gay men, Ben Allen and Justin Hudgins, who had planned a wedding reception at the All Occasion Party Place and were turned down because the venue rents for all occasions except those that have anything to do with gay folks.

Well, after the story broke, someone took a can of spray-paint to the fence of the Allen-Hudgins’ home and wrote the words, ‘Burn Fag’ on it.

You know, because gay folks planning a party deserve to die, I’m guessing; at least in Texas.

But, after that story broke, the neighborhood rallied together and spent the weekend re-painting the fence at the Everman home of Ben Allen and Justin Hudgins.

Turns out not all Texans are hateful and narrow-minded.

So, I don’t like Taylor Swift.

Annoying, cloying, boring, can’t sing, phony.

And the butt of an Amy Poehler and Tina Fey joke at The Golden Globes about her penchant for serial-dating-and-dumping young boys and then turning that, ahem, tragedy into some kind of corn pone pop music mess-terpiece.

When Swifty was asked about that globes joke, she said, “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people… Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”

So, I’m guessing Swifty thinks Poehler and Fey will be going to Hell, and by Hell, I mean Swifty will probably turn it into a song that will haunt Tina and Amy, and the entire world, for eons.

But, members of the press wanted to know what Tina and Amy had to say about what Swifty said about what they said….following me?....and ran to Amy Poehler, who said: “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell, but for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.”

Suh-nap!

Just because......

Jonny Lee Miller, smolderingly sexy as Sherlock Holmes in Elementary, and the dee-lish David Giuntoli in the fairytale-cop-drama Grimm.

Must Drool TV.

And, finally, the Tweet of the Week: