I Didn't Say It ....

Michelle Wolf, comedian, clapping back at ______ who applauded the fact that, after her stint as host of the White House Correspondents Dinner, they will no longer use comedians:

“I bet you’d be on my side if I had killed a journalist.”

Snap.

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John Roberts, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, also clapping back at _____ who referred to a judge who ruled against his policy limiting asylum for certain immigrants as an “Obama judge”:

“We do not have Obama judges or Trump judges, Bush judges or Clinton judges. What we have is an extraordinary group of dedicated judges doing their level best to do equal right to those appearing before them. That independent judiciary is something we should all be thankful for.”

Sounds like one conservative judge _____ can’t buy.

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Shepard Smith, on _____’s refusal to accept the CIA’s conclusion that Saudi Arabia, and their prince, were behind the murder of Jamal Khashoggi:

“The president said that maybe the Saudi crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, knew about the murder, or maybe he didn’t, yet the CIA has concluded not only that he knew, but that he ordered the brutal killing. Lawmakers are putting pressure on the White House to punish the Saudis, both Republicans and Democrats. And U.S. allies are doing the same. So the president may not have the last say. We’re waiting for the full report from the CIA. But today, the president got ahead of his intelligence agencies, in essence, it doesn’t matter what intel says, we are standing with the Saudi kingdom.”

He likes Kim Jong Un because Un said he’d dismantle the nuclear program.

He likes Putin because Putin said he didn’t interfere in our elections.

He likes the Saudi’s who said they didn't kill anyone.

That’s who ______ likes.

Despots, crooks and murderers; they’re his people.

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_____, sounding buffoonish while offering his wisdom on how to prevent forest fires:

"You gotta take care of the floors. You know the floors of the forest, very important ... I was with the President of Finland ... he called it a forest nation and they spent a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things and they don't have any problem."

Damn you California! You should’a been raking the forests all this time.

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S.E. Cupp, on CNN, about _____ and the Blue Wave:

“Life is about to get pretty rough for the president. For one, governing is hard work and it’s about to get harder without Republicans controlling all the levers. His three-hour workday is about to go bye-bye. There’s also the deluge of investigations, subpoenas and hearings coming his way. With Democrats retaking the House the next two years will be the equivalent of a rectal exam for _____. And at this point, there’s little he can do about it.”

Um, you wanna give _____ a rectal exam, you’ll have to move Lindsey Graham’s lips and _____’s own head.

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Liz Crokin, Townhall columnist, on why the fires rage in Malibu … and it’s rich:

“This man [actor Rainn Wilson], I started doing some research on him. Guess what? He’s involved with a charity in Haiti. Any celebrity that is involved with ‘work’ in Haiti, you had better believe they’re involved in child sex trafficking, okay? So the guy who openly talks about cannibalism, eating babies, and raping babies and who just happens to be involved in a charity that allegedly helps kids in Haiti; now Rainn, ironically—not ironically—guess what? His house is one of the houses that was burned down the other day. Guess what? A lot of people who are up to their eyeballs in child sex trafficking have had their homes burn down. Burning evidence much? I don’t think it’s a coincidence. The more people they kill, the better because it’s more sacrifice to Moloch.”

She offers no explanation for the fires in Northern California … because she’s a lunatic.

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William McRaven, retired Admiral who oversaw the operation that killed Osama bin Laden, standing by his assertion that _____’s attacks on the news media represent "the greatest threat to democracy" after _____ dismissed him as a "Hillary Clinton backer":

"I did not back Hillary Clinton or anyone else. I am a fan of President Obama and President George W. Bush, both of whom I worked for. I admire all presidents, regardless of their political party, who uphold the dignity of the office and who use that office to bring the nation together in challenging times. I stand by my comment that the President's attack on the media is the greatest threat to our democracy in my lifetime. When you undermine the people's right to a free press and freedom of speech and expression, then you threaten the Constitution and all for which it stands."

Hmmm, whom to believe …the war hero, the man who captured bin Laden, or the draft-dodging chickenshit who whimpered about sore feet?

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I Didn't Say It ...

John Oliver, Last Week Tonight host, on Giuliani’s ‘Truth isn’t truth’ line:

“You just said ‘truth isn’t truth!’ That’s not acceptable from a president’s lawyer. It’s barely acceptable from a sophomore philosophy major who just tried molly for the first time: Truth isn’t truth, man—and also, toes are just feet-fingers. I feel warm.”

Rudy on Molly! That explains everything!

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John Berman, CNN, also on Giuliani’s ‘Truth isn’t truth’ line:

“I’m declaring it is not Monday, and it’s not because I say it’s not. I’m giving myself this new presidential power that Rudy Giuliani just created yesterday. Monday isn’t Monday. The sky is not blue. Water isn’t wet. And truth is not truth. The President’s lawyer actually declared this in the latest edition to the ‘Things Said Out Loud’ file. He said it trying to explain why he doesn’t want the President to testify to the special counsel. Giuliani is intentionally trying to create some new world of relative factuality. That world is like the misbegotten spawn of Lewis Carroll’s Through The Looking Glass and George Orwell’s 1984. Actually, we should leave Orwell out of this. All he said was ‘ignorance is strength.’ He wouldn’t have the guts to say ‘truth isn’t truth.’ That’s too much for Orwell. Truth isn’t truth fits nicely in the same solar system as ‘alternative facts.’ Actually, I shouldn’t use the phrase ‘solar system’ because we all know there is no sun. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. He’s not there. Which is why it is NOT Monday.”

He isn’t there; there’s no there there.

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John Brennan, former CIA director, whose security clearance was revoked by _____, on ____ to Rachel Maddow:

“The fact that he’s using a security clearance of a former CIA director as a pawn in his public relations strategy I think is just so reflective of somebody who, quite frankly, I don’t want to use this term maybe, but he’s drunk on power. He really is, and I think he’s abusing the powers of that office. I think right now, this country is in a crisis in terms of what Mr. Trump has done and is liable to do. And so, are the Republicans on the Hill — who have given him a pass — going to wait for a disaster to happen before they actually find their backbones and spines, to speak up against somebody who clearly, clearly is not carrying out his responsibilities with any sense of purpose and common sense from the standpoint of national security?”

After Brennan’s clearance was revoked, thirteen former senior intelligence officials signed a letter denouncing _____’s actions.

And word is that _____, butt hurt as all get out, has drafted more documents to revoke clearances from people and roll them out when media coverage of him is not favorable.

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William McRaven, retired Navy admiral who oversaw Bin Laden raid tells _____ to revoke his security clearance:

“Former CIA director John Brennan, whose security clearance you revoked on Wednesday, is one of the finest public servants I have ever known. Few Americans have done more to protect this country than John. He is a man of unparalleled integrity, whose honesty and character have never been in question, except by those who don’t know him. Therefore, I would consider it an honor if you would revoke my security clearance as well, so I can add my name to the list of men and women who have spoken up against your presidency. Like most Americans, I had hoped that when you became president, you would rise to the occasion and become the leader this great nation needs.”

Rise to the occasion?

Hope floats, but sh*t sinks.

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Michael Williams, Georgia state Senator, who recently lost the GOP gubernatorial primary, on _____ and the N-word:

“He has his personal beliefs, his personal ideas. But I truly believe he is able to separate those from how he is running the country. He did not use the N-word as the office of the president. He used it outside in his personal life. If he was president and he goes on TV and uses the N-word, then yes, I would have a major problem with that. But he did it before he was president [so] I don’t have a problem with Donald _____ having used it in the past as my president. Just because he used it years ago, in the past, not as our president, doesn’t mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it. And also, let’s go back in time. How old is Donald _____? 70? Sixty, fifty years ago, we were not in the society we’re in now. People freely used that word.”

Spoken like a true racist.

Most of us, asshat, know that times change and words that were acceptable years ago are acceptable today no matter who says them, and the fact that _____ said that word—and I’ve no doubt he did—speaks to his innate racism and lack of character.

And that also speaks to yours.

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Jimmy Carter, on _____:

“I think he’s a disaster. In human rights and taking care of people and treating people equal. I think there’s been an attitude of ignorance toward the truth by President _____. [The Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision has] changed our political system from a democracy to an oligarchy. Money is now preeminent. I mean, it’s just gone to hell now.”

Bravo, sir, bravo!

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John David Washington, when an interviewer brings up that he is “the son of Denzel Washington”:

“…And Pauletta Washington—who was earning more money than he was when they married … before they got married, she was on Broadway working. She paid for the first date. She paid the bill, paid the cab ride. She was a classically trained pianist, went to Juilliard … She’s a great artist in her own right and I learned a lot from her. My father taught me how to hunt, my mother taught me how to love.”

Nicely said, because he isn’t who he is because he’s Denzel’s son, he’s who he is because he’s Denzel and Pauletta’s child,

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